For some reason, after twenty odd something years i keep thinking my mom will learn positive reinforcement is more productive and healthy than guilt tripling or being passive aggressive yet i keep being bested
Like, on my birthday she obviously hated everything we did together, activity wise, and consciously distanced herself; then she questioned me about what i’d do finding some other medical plan and got upset when i was annoyed and told her i wanted a day to not have to think of pressures or responsibilities. Now she’s guilt tripling me about visiting family.
I’ve talked about in therapy since i was 18, and my solution was to move out. Not possible. Recently i did for 8 months and had to move back, and she graciously re-accepted me, and has overall been really supportive, emotionally; but i cant help but think how much better of a relationship i felt we had during that time we lived relatively independent lives. Intentionally present and empathetic, curious. And now i’m back where i started, same bedroom, same disappointment, feeling like the same teenager i thought i’d outgrow.
My genuine goals for this year are raising enough savings to either go to spain with my sister or move out.
