– (not) the boy next door

RODGERS. HAMMERSTEIN. GERSHWIN. SONDHEIM. LARSON. MIRANDA. HUMMEL. osuca creative writing & music composition major, acting & performance minor. resident connoisseur on high fashion, skin care, local coffee houses, and broadway musicals. currently accepting commissions at: HUMMEL DESIGN CO. ™ on Etsy.

[porcelainbird]

TEXT. Kurt ⇆ Quinn ★

Quinn: 😂😂😂

Quinn: You're great. I totally would have known what you meant, but that would definitely sound messed up if it got in the wrong hands. I appreciate it.

Quinn: I think so! Maybe coordinating cheer-leading? What about you?

Kurt: You never know who's reading our texts. Better safe, right?

Kurt: I'm doing music, so hopefully I don't end up with a bunch of tone-deaf kids with poor taste or an inflated ego. Class is already an interesting mix, so maybe this will be my chance to weed out people who should choose a different major.

Kurt: I'd love to come and watch at some point, if you're planning on doing routines.

[porcelainbird]

Text. Kurt ⇆ Blaine ♆

Blaine: It would be an honour!

Blaine: Are you sure your family will be okay with that? I wouldn't want to intrude.

Blaine: I'd really, really like that, though. Although I'm also slightly terrified.

Blaine: Does your dad know that I'm boyfriend Blaine now and not just best friend Blaine?

Kurt: They already love you, they'll be happy to have you over. Maybe even more than they already would have been since I think I heard Dad talking about winning a bet or something.

Kurt: You don't have to worry, I'll hold your hand the whole time :)

Kurt: ... I might have texted him immediately after.

[vogueman]

[porcelainbird]

TEXT. Kurt ⇆ Finn ✂

Finn: Man, you're harsh when you age a year.

Finn: But okay, just because it IS your big day, I'll switch to my other plaid shirt.

Kurt: There's nothing wrong with honesty, Finn.

Kurt: That's not much better, but I appreciate it.

[porcelainbird]

TEXT. Kurt ⇆ Quinn ★

Quinn: Because you're a mind reader? Lol, do you know how many times I've had this thought?

Quinn: It's hard being at the top. 😂

Kurt: I was going to say that you can sit on my head any time, but I think that might come across wrong without context so just keep in mind that I only mean for lifting.

Kurt: Are you sticking around for camp?

[porcelainbird]

TEXT. Kurt ⇆ Mike ♣

Mike: Would you like help? I can swing by at lunch time to give you a hand.

Mike: I’m good! Actually excited summer since I have plans. I think I’ll stick around for the camp thing before going to NYC and I was also talking to Finn about going to Winona Lake. Are you in?

Kurt: It's fine, I'm just venting. Though, I wouldn't mind the company if you wanted to tag along.

Kurt: Are you going to do any of the classes or anything, or just sticking around to participate in general?

Kurt: I was about to get really jealous that you're going to NYC and didn't invite me, but Blaine is taking me this summer as a part of my birthday gift.

Kurt: That would be great!

[porcelainbird]

INSTAGRAM ⇢ posted to @PORCELAINBIRD feat. @starringblaine

[samsdei]

[porcelainbird]

♣

♣ - for a bitching text

[porcelainbird]

TEXT. Kurt ⇆ Mike ♣

Kurt: So many books are returned at the last minute on the last day of the semester possible to avoid getting fees and I'm stuck for a week re-shelving half of the library because no one could get anything in at an appropriate time.

Kurt: Anyway, sorry, how are you? Excited for summer? Are you sticking around campus?

[porcelainbird]

✂

♬ - for a music rec or lyric text

[porcelainbird]

★

★ - for a dumb meme or inside joke text

[porcelainbird]

TEXT. Kurt ⇆ Finn ✂

Kurt: Your shirt is ugly, please change.

Kurt: It's my birthday weekend and my eyes are offended.

[porcelainbird]

TEXT. Kurt ⇆ Quinn ★

Kurt: [attached: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/79/51/ae/7951ae62ffb4681e1b9ef0b51a42d3f2.jpg]

Kurt: Why did I think of you immediately and why can I not stop laughing?

[porcelainbird]

Text. Kurt ⇆ Santana ⊙

Santana: Fuck my life.

Santana: I'd say you're welcome, but I feel like this is more of an "oops, my bad" kinda sitch.

Santana: Relax, Sparkles. It's just tits. I betcha' glad I'm not really a pussy pic gal. Am I right?

Santana: Can't say that's a compliment the girls are used to getting, but still ⁠— high praise coming from a gay man. I'll take it. No tan-lines either!

Kurt: As lovely as a woman's body is, I definitely appreciate that it was rather tasteful. Though, I'm sure it would have gone over well for you for the intended recipient.

Kurt: Is this a topless beach kind of situation or do you go to a booth to avoid the tan lines? I've thought about doing something light, maybe with one of those little star cut outs or something but I'm not sure how I feel about tanning my junk, even if it's nice without the tan-lines for summer.

[porcelainbird]

Happy birthday Kurt!

Thank you!

[porcelainbird]

Text. Kurt ⇆ Blaine ♆

Blaine: I did in fact do this on purpose. These jeans serve /multiple/ purposes.

Blaine: Not only am I protesting against those mandatory God Squad meetings, I also figured I'd wear something nice when I bring my hardworking boyfriend his coffee.

Blaine: How scandalous of you, Mr. Hummel. I'll be there.

[some time later]

Kurt: So, as you know, my birthday is this weekend and I was wondering if you would want to come to our little birthday/memorial day family bbq.

Kurt: I know you've met my dad and you would have been invited before anyway, as my friend. But now you're my boyfriend and I think it would be really nice to do this as a real couple.

Kurt: Like introduce you as my boyfriend Blaine and not just my best friend Blaine.