Porn Is Cancer

Just a man in his early 40's trying to overcome a 20 year old addiction. Christian but deeply flawed. A little background: https://porniscancer.tumblr.com/post/190851585856/so-i-started-this-blog-initially-3-12-years-ago

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I don’t know who needs to hear this but fan boying/girling politicians is like believing the stripper is in love with you.

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It’s been a minute. My side hustle has kept me busy and that’s helped. I’ve just been trying to keep my mind occupied with other things. Anyway. Hi.

[ummukasha-deactivated20230515]

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I express political opinion very seldom anymore, particularly online. But I’m going to say this. If you’ve spent the last four years obsessing over how horrible Donald Trump is and you can’t be equally as critical over his successors, you should probably spend a little time self reflecting on how you process information and your critical thinking skills. If you’ve spent the last seven months condemning everything the current administration has done but still partake in political hero worship of his predecessor, then I’m going to suggest doing the same thing. Intellectual honesty demands holding your political allies to the same standards as your political foes. Political figureheads are not gods and they’re not demons (though I’d argue most are closer to the latter). Never worship them, never have the audacity to feel like they’re incapable of getting anything right, and above all, never support anything they have to say you wouldn’t want your political opposition holding power over.

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I’ve been trying to behave. I won’t leave the app on here. Just checking in.

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I really don’t feel like I can take any more crap from life. I’ve had enough

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Please pray for my family. Please.

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Hmm. Didn’t even realize it had been that long. Anyway. Hi.

[porniscancer]

It was hard. But we ended up having a good talk.

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I replied to her comment. I shouldn’t be but I’m terrified.

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I’m really struggling here trying to figure out what to do. Anxiety is through the roof. Prayer for wisdom, discernment, and calm would be appreciated.

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Read some comments posted by my wife on Reddit regarding our current situation. Sure. Don’t touch me for over five years now and, rather than talk to me about it, discuss with perfect strangers on the internet how I’m too boring for you. Perfect.

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Just stopping in to say hi. Things have been going. Feeling like utter hell this evening. Been mostly ok the last week, at least. Keeping busy has helped. There’s just those times where the feeling of hopelessness comes on and I can’t ward it off. It’s hard to feel like better times are possible. My constant prayer is “God, please don’t leave me here”. I know the despair is lies. I just often feel like I’m not meant to be happy. Which, honestly, happiness shouldn’t matter. I should be joyful in all times. It’s just difficult sometimes. For any of you that’s ever seen me preach on here to never allow yourself to tie up your happiness in another human being because every human you interact with will inevitably let you down….. well. I’m the poster child for why it’s a stupid thing to do.

[porniscancer]

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The deepest pain I have ever experienced is the feeling that the deepest longings of my heart will ultimately never matter.

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One can hope.

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Just stopping in to say hey. Haven’t been taking working on myself as seriously as I should have. But I’m intent on starting. If y’all could keep my friend in prayer, I’d appreciate it. Rather not explain the scenario, but it’s related to my life story post several months ago. God knows the situation. Just please pray for my friend. And me, as well, for that matter. I’m trying. But I’m not in a good place in some ways. Life just isn’t what I thought it would be years back……. It’s so much harder. And I’m just growing frustrated and jaded and it’s becoming harder to turn my heart to The One I know I should. I’m not giving up. Just feeling trapped in my own world.