Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@posidonsstuff
Itâs that time of the year again
why do you like me so much then? || joe burrow x reader
description: why do you like him so much? everything you said made him sound like a lackluster boyfriend, so why did you like him so much?
a/n: this is either really bad, chaotic, all over the place, or just yapping. sorry. the fact that this was supposed to be a blurb?? yeah. i cannot write blurbs LOL.
thanks to @joeyb1989 and my anons for giving me inspo for this! and to joe with that sexy, bratty eyebrow raise that I can never move on from
word count: 9.2 k
warnings: angstttt, smutttt, fluff
ââââââââââââââââ
3 hours. That's how long it took you to get ready tonight.
You spent an uncharacteristic amount of time carefully positioning each strand of your hair, ensuring that each piece was perfectly curled and set. You made sure every piece of jewelry from your delicate necklaces to your sparkling earrings and bracelets, all of which were gifted by your boyfriend, shimmered in the warm light and reflected a soft glow. Each stroke of makeup had to look flawless to complete the look, your eye shadow blending in seamlessly as you perfected your small winged eyeliner. The silk sage green slip-on dress you woreâwith a delicate lace trimâfit your body like a glove; highlighting every aspect of your beautiful figure perfectly.Â
You looked amazing and you felt amazing for the first time in a long time. The past few weeks had been filled with strangeness and ambiguity and you were in desperate need of a change of pace. The strangeness came from how you and Joe had been a bit distant from each other lately, which was uncommon for you two. You were constantly attached at the hip, utterly fixated on each other to the point where the mere thought of being apart would lead to a state of misery and endless complaining. But this past month, you couldnât be more disconnected from each other. Joe had been so wrapped up with football training this past month to the point where it felt like you two barely saw each other, and that didn't sit well with either of you. You always used to make so much time for each other no matter what, but recently it felt like you two stopped trying.
Every time you thought of planning something to do together such as a little lunch date at your favorite cafe, or a relaxed hike around the park, even just ordering takeout and eating together on the couch while watching a movie, it would always get moved or put off till the next week because Joe had something come up. Either it was more training (which was understandable), more brand shoots (somewhat understandable), or even because he wanted to hang out with the guys--completely not understandable.Â
You were never the kind of girlfriend who would keep her boyfriend away from his friends, especially because you actually really liked Joe's friends and greatly appreciated the support they gave him, but when he started using them as an excuse to pass on spending time with you, that's when you became a bit bitter. You were the most understanding person when it came to the things Joe had going on in his life. You knew that he had a lot on his plate and couldn't always be fully present for you, but he always tried his best to be. Or at least he used to.Â
Passing on training and brand-related work was hard, but passing on hanging out with his friends once or twice so he could go through with the plans he made with his girlfriend was fairly easy.Â
It should be easy, right?
But Joe didnât do that. He instead moved your plans to hang out with them, and that hurt. He said that you could do the lunch date, hike, or takeout food & movie evening later on, but that 'later' rarely came around. He would just get swamped with more things and you'd be so focused on your work that you couldn't bother to bring up the subject again.Â
Joe noticed your increased irritation as well, but he just never said anything because he didnât feel like it was anything serious, just you in a mood. He wasn't sure what made you so resentful all of a sudden, but he knew better than to argue with you about your sudden mood swings, especially because he knew there could be over 100 reasons for them and didn't really want to set you off even more by pointing it out.Â
What Joe did notice was that you two hadn't had much one-on-one time like that recentlyâcompletely oblivious to the fact that's exactly why you were so bitterâso he decided to take the first step and offer to take you to dinner at the end of the week. You were so excited when he proposed the idea of going to dinner on Friday, looking forward to spending some much-needed quality time with the person you loved the most. He told you that he'd take you to this new steakhouse in Downtown Cincinnati and then he'd take you down to the banks so you two could lay against the grassy field and look up at the stars together, something you used to do every weekend during the off-season but something had slowly fizzled out as time went by and your weekends became a bit more intense.Â
"Every star in the universe reminds me of how much I love you. Youâre not just a part of my world; you are the center of my galaxy, and everything else revolves around the love we share," is what he told you the first time you went stargazing. Those special words have stuck with you ever since, especially the part about how youâre the center of his galaxy, but lately, it started to feel like the center of his galaxy had shifted to something other than you. You couldn't figure out when things shifted; those genuine, pacifying moments you two shared became scarily rare. In the back of your mind, you felt like you were losing him. Even though you weren't, it just felt like it, and that was the worst feeling out of them all. Nothing you did or he did made that thought go away. What you didn't or he didn't do is what made it worse.Â
You were determined to use this date as a way to move things back on track in your relationship, hopefully even talking about how off things had been lately, so thatâs why you dedicated an unusual three hours to primping and preparing. Despite your efforts to achieve perfection, Joeâs love for you was unwavering, regardless of your appearance. He adored your natural beauty, free of makeup, and cherished your tousled, messy hair. He found you just as enchanting in your old gray sweats and one of his worn-out college t-shirts that made you look oh-so tiny. You knew how indifferent he was to perfection, but you wanted everything to be excellent tonight, even if he didn't need it to be. You needed this.Â
You were filled with anticipation as you imagined walking into the restaurant with him, the warmth of his hand in yours. You could almost taste the first sip of wine, feel the soft buzz it would bring, and sense the rush of emotions as you immerse yourself in the familiar and comforting bubble of your love for each other. You needed to feel that again so badly.
You took one final look in the mirror, "Damn, I look good. Heâs going to love this," you whispered to yourself as your eyes navigated up and down your figure before giving yourself a small nod of approval and exiting the bathroom. You grabbed your white chanel handbag which was one of the many birthday gifts he had gotten you last month and made your way out of the shared bedroom and down the stairs, a big smile on your face as you were expecting an adorable, dressed, and ready Joe awaiting your arrival. But as you reached the last few steps, your smile dropped as you were met with the exact opposite.Â
You were met with a Joe dressed in gray sweatpants and an old LSU tee whose back was facing you while he was sitting on the couch, had his headset on, and was playing video games on the TV.Â
"Today is Friday, right?" you whispered to yourself as you pulled your phone to read the date, which showed that it was in fact Friday and you weren't crazy.
"Joe?" you called out as you slipped your phone back into your bag, slowly walking down the couple of steps you had left with a look of sheer confusion on your face. He didn't hear you, but you heard him.
"Aye, man. What the fuck?" he said loudly as he started aggressively pushing the buttons on his game controller. "How the hell did you get to level 10 when it's only been a week since the last time we played?".
His friends. He was playing with his friends.Â
"Of course," you scoffed as you walked over to the living room where he was, throwing your handbag onto the dining table before calling out for him again. "Joe?.... Joeeeee?" you said louder from behind him, but he still didn't look back at you.Â
"He has to be fucking ignoring me. There is no way his headset is this soundproof," you thought to yourself as you shook your head and walked around the couch to come into his view.Â
Joe looked over and saw you walking towards him, his eyes giving you a quick once-over before settling on your soft eyes which had a slow burning fire behind them. "You look nice," he mumbled to you before looking back at the TV. While he may not have looked directly at you, his words were genuineâhe couldn't help but admire your alluring beauty.
â....Thanks...,â you replied with a dubious tone. âDid you forget that itâs Friday?â you asked him as you looked over at the screen and then back down to him, no response yet again.Â
âNo, donât go that way,â he warned his friends through the headset, completely ignoring what you just asked him.
âYouâve got to be kidding me,â you thought to yourself again.
âJoe? Hellooo?â you called out again but waved your hands for him to see you from the corner of his eye, which he did but didnât say anything. You were becoming increasingly annoyed with his lack of attention towards you, especially since you knew he could see you and see that you were trying to get his attention.Â
"Do you need something?" he finally asked as he moved one side of his headset off his ear, still too focused on the game and his friends to focus in on your conversation.Â
"Do I need something? Yes, I fucking need something. I need my boyfriend to go on our date with me which he promised to take me on," you thought to yourself, wanting nothing more than to scream into a pillow.
"Baby, it's Friday," you took a deep breath and said, crossing your arms as you tried to prevent yourself from flipping out on him.
"Yeah, I know," he softly laughed, putting the headset back on again and going back to the game, not even bothering to wait and listen if you had anything else to say, which you did.
You were absolutely dumbfounded by his actions; it was clear that he was intentionally overlooking you. Joe knew you wouldn't bother him like this without a good reason, especially during his video game time with his high school buddies, so his behavior was completely unjustified.Â
"Did he forget?" you thought to yourself, feeling your heart break a little at the thought. There was no way he forgot, right? He was the one who planned this date, how could he forget?
Your expression softened as you asked him, "Did you forget?". You didn't really want to hear his response because deep down, you already knew the answer. Admitting it meant that he actually forgot about you.
But you didn't need to hear his response because there was no response.Â
You looked back and forth between him and the TV, seeing how he was practically looking right through you and pretending as if you werenât standing there in the most date-night outfit ever. Joe was oblivious sometimes, but he wasnât that oblivious. Â
âFuck this,â you mumbled, deciding to take matters into your own hands since he wasn't listening and didn't look like he was planning on listening. You walked over to the TV, grabbed the plug from the outlet behind it, and yanked it so hard that you could've pulled out the entire electrical system in the wall.Â
"Y/N, what the hell?" you heard from behind you, as well as the sound of Joe taking his headset off and throwing it down onto the couch.Â
"Oh, so now you acknowledge my presence?" you rolled your eyes and sighed heavily.Â
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked you, his eyebrows furrowed as if he was genuinely confused.Â
"What do you think? I called out your name like 4 times and got no response. Then when I actually got your attention, or I thought I did, you didn't even answer my question fully and brushed me off like I was just some girl," you said as you walked closer to him, the built-up bitterness inside of you begging to be released.Â
"You're not just some girl," he shook his head. "You're my girlfri-," he began to say before you interrupted him.Â
"Oh yeah? Then act like I am. I asked you a question and you completely ignored it and ignored me," you grumbled as you gave him a look that he instantly knew meant you were genuinely pissed off.Â
"What do you mean? I did answer your question," he shrugged.Â
"Fucking barely? I told you it was Friday and was hoping that would ring a bell but it didn't, and then I asked you if you forgot but you had already put your dumb fucking headset on and either didn't hear me or didn't want to hear me," you snarled, rolling your shoulders back as the tension in your body increased and put a strain on your upper body.Â
"Ohhh, it's Friday? So what?" he sarcastically laughed while shaking his hands, then stood up and practically towered over you. You hated when he did this whenever you two got into a little disagreement, it felt like he was showing the power he had over you and made you feel 10 times smaller.Â
"Are you serious?" you asked, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks and your eyes beginning to well up with tears. It wasn't sadness that caused the tears, but a deep sense of anger.Â
"What did I forget hmm? Because I'm pretty sure that I already did the laundry, cleaned up the kitchen from lunch, ordered the groceries, and watered your plants outside," he asked, the bratty tone in his voice making you want to scream into a pillow and then proceed to hit him with said pillow.Â
You felt your bottom lip tremble as your entire body felt a wave of sadness overpower the anger you were feeling.Â
He really forgot.Â
He didn't forget to do all the other things that werenât that big of a deal, but what he did forget was the most important thing.
"Our...our date, Joe?" you choked out, feeling a tear fall from your eye it felt like the world went silent. "Our fucking date," you said again, this time with more anger in your voice, wiping the tear trail from your cheek. So much for your flawless makeup.Â
Joe's heart immediately sank at the mention of the word 'date.' He had completely forgotten about the plans you had made, the plans he had made. How could he have forgotten something like this? He knew how important this date was; it was the first time in a long time that you two got to spend alone time together away from everything. Even though he never said it, he felt awful that each time you tried to plan something together, it was pushed back for some reason and never thought about again.Â
His eyes softened as he realized why you were mad, "Y/N, I'm so sorry...I forgot," he said.Â
You remained quiet for a few seconds, trying to calm yourself by taking a few deep breaths but that wasn't really working. "I shouldn't be surprised you forgot, you know? I've been practically invisible to you this past month," you scoffed, a few more tears falling from your eyes unknowingly.Â
"Invisible?" Joe questioned, a bit taken aback by your harsh response. Yeah, he had been spending less time with you lately, but in no way were you invisible to him.Â
"Yeah, invisible. It's like I'm just not here. You've been basically avoiding spending time with me and the one time you offer to plan something, you conveniently forget. Spare me, Joe," you shook your head and said.Â
"Woah, I wouldn't say I'm avoiding spending time with you?" he said as he took a step closer to you. "I've been busy, you know I've been busy,".
"I get that, but what about those times when you ditched doing something with me so you could do something with the guys? I understand if itâs because of training and stuff but getting ditched for your friends? That hurts. Especially when we already had plans but you moved them and little old me always went along with it because I didn't want to rock the boat," you cried, your tears breaking through and free-falling down your cheeks now.Â
"Rock the boat? What are you...what are you even talking about?" he threw his hands in the air and asked. "What the hell is she talking about? I know we've been spending less time together, but in no way is the boat being rocked. We're fine?" he thought to himself.Â
"Here you go with the oblivious act," you laughed through the tears in amusement. "Un. fucking. believable. You always do this whenever youâre in the wrong, and frankly, Iâm sick of it. You're acting as if I haven't been visibly miserable the past few weeks. Oh, wait. That's just it, how would you know? I'm invisible to you," you said, your voice a little louder as the anger was once again taking over.Â
"Look, I don't know what the fuck I did but I don't understand why you're blowing up over this," Joe said, his hand moving to scratch the back of his neck.Â
"That's just it. It's mostly what you didn't do. You didn't bother to reschedule our plans, you didn't bother to check in on me to see if I was really okay with you moving our plans, and you didn't fucking remember we were supposed to go out tonight," you yelled, your breaths becoming shorter as you felt yourself turning red from slight distress. You felt awful for yelling at him, but all of the emotions you had built up this past month were coming out at once and it was not going to be pretty.Â
Joe stood in silence, his eyes fixed on you as you continued to express your disappointment with his recent behavior as your boyfriend. He felt a sense of unease as he realized the impact of his actions on your emotions. He knew he was in the wrong, but he was hoping you understood how hectic his schedule was and how that prevented him from giving his all to you recently.Â
You always understood. And if you didn't, you talked to him about it. But this time you didn't do either of those things, and that made him a little upset. Communication was a big part of your relationship and although it had been pretty off this past month, he thought you wouldâve said something to him if you felt this bad about everything.Â
"You know, instead of yelling at me about all of this, why didn't you just talk to me about it in the first place?" he asked, now feeling a bit irritated himself. "If you felt so 'invisible' why didn't you tell me right then and there?".Â
"Are you really blaming me for this?" you said, looking at him in disbelief. It was unbelievable that he was trying to ignore your feelings, especially when you rarely blew up on him like this so that should tell him that you were really hurt by all of this.
"I neverâŠI never said that," he said while sucking his bottom lip in. "All I'm saying is that we didn't need to have this big argument about it if you just talked to me about how you were feeling before,".
"That still wouldn't change the fact that you forgot about tonight," you snapped, placing your hands on your hips. When your hands touched the smooth, silky fabric of your dress, it seemed to emphasize every curve of your body, catching Joe's gaze for a moment. He felt a flutter of excitement in his stomach as he admired your figure once more, taking in every detail of your stunning appearance a bit closer than he did before. "You still haven't given me a reason," you added.
Joe's frustration was growing as he felt increasingly annoyed by your words, despite his understanding that he had made a mistake. Instead of fixing the issue, your yelling was only aggravating the situation. "You know what? Fine. I forgot. Whoops. My bad," he retorted in a tone that was both monotonous and bratty. He went quiet for a moment, thinking of a devious plan to make you even more annoyed.Â
But why did he enjoy making you feel irritated? Because he liked seeing you get all hot and bothered because of him. "I forgot because I was having a great time with my friends and lost track of time. I guess they were more interesting than you," he said smugly.
He knew he was being an absolute dick right now, but part of him was having fun watching you get heated over this and wanted to see you get more flustered. âIs it bad that I think she looks hot as fuck right now?â he thought to himself.Â
"God, your fucking attitude pisses me off sometimes," you yelled. As you shook your head, you couldn't help but feel another wave of anger towards him, even though looking around, you realized that the issue at hand was frankly trivial. It wasn't the specific problemâforgetting about the dateâthat got to you, but rather the underlying feeling of frustration and disappointment that had built inside of you for the past month. Tonight was just the final blow that tipped you over the edge. Â
Despite your irritating behavior and petty bickering, Joe was really turned on right now. Something about seeing that fire in your eyes, hearing that fire in your voice just got him going. You were taking charge, and he loved that even if he was pissed that you were arguing with him about something that didnât need to be this big of a deal. You were putting him in his place and he liked that about you. He liked that you werenât afraid to call him out on his bullshit.Â
His eyes traced a slow, calculated path from your legs, to the graceful curves of your body, to the gentle contours of your breasts, then up to the curve of your neck, before finally meeting your captivatingly beautiful face. He couldn't resist the temptation to admire your compelling appearance, making it even more challenging for him to focus on the petty argument you were having. He felt bad that you got all dressed up for a date that wasnât happening, but he did enjoy seeing your precious cheeks turn red out of anger, seeing your body tense up in a way that was practically begging for him to relieve it.Â
He licked his plump lips as his eyes flashed to a darker shade of blue before saying, "Then why do you like me so much?".Â
Your breath caught in your throat as you were trapped by the intense gaze in his eyes. Those dangerous, smoldering, bedroom eyes always seemed to have an irresistible effect on you. The words that followed, said in a tone that ignited a wildfire within you, made you feel an almost overwhelming urge to drop to your knees in front of him. âNo, No, No. Iâm mad at him. It doesnât matter how much I would love for him to take away my ability to walk right now. Keep it together,â you thought to yourself, feeling butterflies flutter through your stomach.Â
You remained quiet and continued to stare at him, watching him raise his eyebrows in the brattiest way possible as a result of how he easily silenced your bitching and moaning and because of how you had absolutely no response for him.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â he asked as he leaned over and whispered in your ear, his husky voice sending shivers down your spine. âCat got your tongue?â.Â
âIâm not playing this game with you right now,â you rolled your eyes and snapped, starting to back up and walk away before you felt his warm hand wrap around your wrist and pull you right back to him.
A playful smirk danced across his lips as he pulled you into his embrace, immediately planting a trail of soft, teasing kisses along your neck, successfully redirecting your attention.
âJoe,â you whispered, trying to get out of his hold but struggling because of how he was holding you so tightly and pressing kisses all along your neckâyour favorite spot to be kissed. âOh fuck,â you lightly whimpered, feeling him nip and bite at your skin as he wrapped his hand around your neck and gently squeezed it.Â
âHm? Why do you like me so much then?â he mumbled as he dropped wet kisses up to your ear. âIf Iâm such a horrible boyfriend, why donât you just leave?â.
âFuck, Joe,â you accidentally moaned, feeling him start to suck on your favorite spot which made a pang of arousal shoot up your spine. âSo much for trying to keep it together,â you thought to yourself. âThis has to be a massive ego boost for him,â.Â
It definitely was. He took pride in knowing that he could so easily make you forget about your anger towards him by simply doing what he did best, skillfully and attentively worshiping every inch of your body.
âHm,â he laughed against you. âI guess thatâs why you donât leave,âÂ
âYouâre being a brat,â you said a few seconds later as you threaded your fingers through his frosted tips, pushing his head closer to your neck. Your actions are a complete juxtaposition to the words that came from your mouth. You were mad at him, but you werenât acting like it. The sounds leaving your lips, your needy touch, it was all the complete opposite of what you were saying.
âNo, youâre being a brat,â he said as he moved out of your neck and looked into your firey eyes.Â
He had some nerve to be calling you a brat right now. You werenât the one that had been ignoring him tonight or the one that had been brushing him off all month. âGo fuck yourself, Joe,â you spat out, the bitterness evident in your words, but it seemed to have little effect on him.
âHow about you fuck me instead?â he boldly said while giving you the same tempting, inviting eyebrow raise again.Â
âIf he looks at me like that again, I swear to god Iâm going to end up pregnant. Fuck. Why does he have to look at me like that when Iâm trying to be mad at him,â you thought to yourself. Gradually, the intense anger, sadness, and constant irritation towards him turned into strong feelings of fierce desire, urgent need, and passionate emotion.
As you stood face to face, a noticeable tension filled the air, the heat rising as if a fire had been torched between you. His passionate gaze reached into you, sending jolts of electricity through the space. It felt as though he was silently expressing that he had the power to make you forget everything, if only you would allow him to.
And god you wanted him to.Â
You quickly reduced the space between you both and smashed your lips against his, his hands dropping down to your waist and holding you tightly as a smirk rose on his lips. âTold you. This is why you donât leave,â he whispered in between the messy kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him in closer, completely melting under his fervent touch.Â
âShut up,â you smirked as you trailed kisses along his jaw before he pulled your lips back to his, both of your bodies calling each otherâs names as you got lost in each other.Â
He moves his big hands down to your ass, giving each cheek a gentle squeeze before whispering, âJump,â in between the kiss. You do as he says, jumping and wrapping your legs around his middle as he holds you tightly, walking towards the stairs and taking you straight to the bedroom, all without breaking the restless kiss.
A few minutes later, youâre both naked and lying on the bed as Joe spends a bit more time peppering kisses along your neck, your neediness getting more and more vocal as he refuses to do the thing you actually need him to do.Â
âJoe, please,â you whimpered as you felt his nose brush against your jaw while he sucked on a spot on your neck, your body squirming under his large frame.
âYou canât be mad at me like that and expect me to give you what you want so easily,â he smirks after he moves from your neck and looks into your eyes with mischievous intent.Â
âFuck you,â you scoffed while tilting your head to the side and refusing to look at him.
âOh you will, all in due time, baby,â he whispered in your ear, then gently lifted you up in a tender embrace and sat down on the edge of the bed.
Straight across from the mirror.Â
âWhatâre you doing?â you ask him as he sets you in his lap, both of you facing the mirror.
âYou see that, Y/N?â he asks as he points to you in the mirror. âThatâs you,â he adds as he continues to look up and starts to press wet kisses around your shoulder. His hand snakes around your waist, rubbing your belly with his long fingers as they start to navigate down to your thigh.Â
âI know,â you sigh, tilting your head to the side as his kisses get closer to your neck.
âYouâre not invisible, baby,â he says as he plants kisses in a path up to your ear as his fingers move down to your core aching core. âYouâre right here,â he whispers, a moan escaping your lips as you feel his fingers slide against your wet heat.Â
âJoe,â you whimper tipping your head back and closing your eyes, the feeling of his hot body underneath you combined with the feeling of his long fingers at the place where you need him the most becoming too much for you.
âI see you, Y/N,â he whispers in your ear, the tip of his cold nose pressed against it. âI always see you, I always hear you. Youâre not invisible,â he says before pressing a kiss to the corner of your ear, then pressing his fingers against your sensitive clit.Â
âAh, Joe,â you moaned, feeling a jolt of pleasure rip through your body. Before you can move your head back forward to say something, you feel his fingers dip inside your core with no warning, earning another sound of pleasure from your lips. âFuck,â you moaned as you practically melted into his embrace even more.Â
His fingers begin to pump in and out of your core, more soft groans and whimpers falling from your lips as he drops slow, hot kisses around your face. âFuck, youâre so tight,â he rasps as he drops his head down to your shoulder again, spending more time cherishing that part of your body.Â
The sensation of his skillful fingers stretching you out and filling you makes you want to forget about everything that happened. Joe always had the ability to make you forget your worries and tensions in an instant, but this might have been a new record.Â
âJoe, pleaseâŠI..,â you whimper, grinding your hips against his as your body begs for more.
"Hmm, it's not that easy, baby," he says with a smirk, his voice oozing with cockiness. You can sense the power he holds over you, and it's clear that he finds it entertaining. He is fully aware of the effect he has on you and revels in it. You hated that he could easily get you like this, but you loved it so fucking much.Â
His fingers continue to thrust in and out of your core, his touch becoming hotter by the second as you feel yourself inch closer to your release. âYou donât sound like youâre mad at me,â he said as he used his other hand to push your head forward so that you were looking in the mirror again.Â
âFuck,â you moaned when you saw his captivating dark blue eyes at the same time as you felt his fingers hit the spot inside of you. âIâŠIâm soâŠmad at you,â you struggled to get out, a whimper squeezing in between your words.Â
âSure,â he chuckled as he rested his chin on your shoulder, increasing the pace of his fingers.
You watched as his fingers disappeared in and out of your dripping heat, faint sounds of your wetness filling the room as you slowly moved your eyes back up to meet his. The look he had told you a number of things; he was horny as hell (just like you), he was enjoying seeing you struggle like this, and he was genuinely sorry about everything.Â
The apologetic twinkle in his eyes produced a profound and intense emotion within you, igniting a powerful and overwhelming feeling. He was fully aware of his mistake and this was his way of expressing it to you. âJoe,â you screamed as you felt the band in your stomach tighten, your body gently trembling above him as you felt overwhelming pleasure coursing through your veins.Â
âLook at you, youâre right there, Y/N. Not hidden, not transparent, and certainly not fucking invisible. Especially not to me,â he whispered in your ear, his husky, raspy voice being the final thing you needed to tip right over the edge.
You feel an intense, deep, and warm feeling pool in your belly, you were so so so painfully close. But just to your surprise, Joe suddenly pulls his fingers out of your core, earning a dissatisfied shriek from your lips. âWhat the fuck, Joe,â you panted, your core pulsing at the tension that was still there, the tension you thought heâd release for you. Â
âTold you,â he smirked as he looked into your eyes through the mirror. âNot easy,â, a soft kiss landing on your shoulder before you feel yourself being lifted up again, turned around, and pushed down to the bed a little roughly.Â
âGo. Fuck. Yourself.â you groaned at him a few seconds later, your eyes having that fire in them that he so desperately loved.Â
âThatâs your job, baby,â he winked as he kneeled down on the bed, hovering over you. âBut, Iâll be nice for a little bit and help you out,â.Â
Youâre about to open your mouth to say something, but before you can, he smashes his lips against yours and rests the head of his hard cock at the entrance of your core. âYou want me to give you attention? Here you go,â he mumbles a few seconds later with a cocky grin, and then you feel him push into you with a roughness that drove you wild.
âAh, Joe,â a guttural moan escaping your lips as you scrunch your nose, your legs instinctively wrapping around him. He was wasting no time with you, and you loved that.Â
A jolt of pleasure rips through your body again as he starts to move inside of you, his movements so thorough and intense but rough at the same time. His hand firmly grasps your waist, communicating a sense of possession and intimacy, making it clear to you that you belong entirely to him.Â
His body was telling you that you werenât losing him, that you could never lose him. You could never lose him because he would never let you, heâd never let go of you.Â
âFuck, Y/N,â he moaned as he felt your hands travel to his hair, gently tugging on the strands as you rested your lips on his neck. He begins to snap his hips against yours hard, every thrust sending you further back into the bed and making you forget about everything that ever bothered you in your entire life.Â
âJoeâŠfuck, IâmâŠ,â you panted. âFuck,â you trailed off.
âI know, baby. I know,â he smiled.
He continues to thrust into you and sets a pace that makes you feel like youâre practically flying through the clouds. It feels euphoric the way he knows exactly how to send your body to its pleasure, almost other-worldly. He was just so good at it.Â
The way he was worshipping your body, basically fucking the anger out of you was something your brain couldnât comprehend. He was the only person who was capable of doing this to you, getting you so frustrated, hot, and bothered, and then having you completely and utterly raw the next secondâemotionally and physically.Â
Joe was aware that your anger towards him and his recent behavior stemmed from genuine pain. He deeply regretted causing you this pain and slapped himself mentally, repeatedly, for making you feel invisible, even for a second. You were the center of his galaxy, and he needed you to know that you still were and nothing had changed.Â
He moves his lips back to yours, capturing them in an intimate kiss that stifles your moans. The delicious feeling of his cock filling you up and his lips against yours is all you could have ever wanted. The way he was moving against you was creating a haze in your brain, almost like a lavender haze.Â
The haze surrounded you, signaling that you were immersed in a love that consumed every part of you.Â
Joe consumed every part of you. He was the lavender haze, and you wanted to stay in that haze for as long as humanly possible.Â
Even though you were mad at him, you couldnât stay mad at him. He loved you and you knew that, and now he was showing you that he did. This was his way of reassuring you that he was right here with you.Â
âBaby,â he moaned, feeling himself get lost in the pleasure you were bringing him. âYou feel so fucking good,â he groaned.Â
âJoe, my god,â you whimpered, feeling your already built-up release getting stronger again. âIâm so close,â you whined, feeling him somehow quicken his pace. You looked down at him, watching how he roughly pounded into your wet heat and how his muscular body was glowing in the soft light of your bedroom.Â
âCum for me, baby. I know youâre there,â he moaned in your ear before dropping his head to your neck.Â
âAh,â you whimper, feeling your body start to tremble again, you were just seconds away from letting go.Â
One particular hard, well-placed thrust later, you were screaming his name as you pushed your head back into the pillow to brace yourself for your orgasm. You felt like a dam had just burst, and the pressure built against it was finally free. Wave after wave of pleasure rips through your body as Joe keeps hammering into you and each time you feel your high come down, it shoots right back up because of his movements. The feeling of your walls wrapping around him, squeezing and hugging his cock made him smile, almost as much as the sound of his name leaving your lips like a sacred chant.Â
âJoe,â you whispered, feeling yourself finally come down from your peak. You looked down and saw that he was still moving inside of you, trying to reach his own peak. âJoe,â you said again as you threaded your hands into his hair and lifted his head, âFlip us,â.Â
He looked at your glossed-over eyes with his tired ones, a dirty smirk forming on his lips at the idea of what you were asking him to do. âOkay,â he winked, wrapping his big hands around your torso and easily flipping you over all in one go. Despite how tired he was physically, he could never be too tired for you.
âHeâs so fucking strong. Fucking hell,â you thought to yourself as you straddled his waist, taking in his tousled golden curls, his thick muscular chest which was coated with a thin layer of sweat, and then his large cockâwhich was practically calling for you.Â
You grabbed his erection, guiding the tip between your drenched folds as you saw his face contort in pleasure and a hiss leaving his lipsâhe was close. You lifted your hips from his and sat up on your knees before lining up his cock with your core and sinking straight down onto it. âOh, fuck,â he moaned as he closed his eyes, his hands landing right on your ass with a light âslapâ.Â
You leaned forward and placed your hands on his pecs, sliding up and down his cock at the same pace he was pounding into you. âYeah,â you whispered as you felt yourself feel a shock of pleasure coarse through your vein, just as Joe felt coursing inside of him.Â
âY/N, baby,â he groaned, âYou feel so good, fuck,â he said while digging his head back into the pillow, having the time of his life watching you take over and ride him into oblivion.Â
âI know,â you said to him with a cocky grin which made him raise his eyebrows again, the same way he did earlier.Â
It was that same bratty, sexy, that made you think âget me pregnant right the fuck nowâ eyebrow raise.Â
âFuck,â you moaned after you saw him raise his eyebrows and his cock hit that spot inside of you.Â
âThatâs my girl,â he grinned, feeling his ego shoot up because even though you were in âcontrolâ, he was still, actually in control. Especially over you, and it was so obvious.Â
You continued to slide up and down his length, occasionally moving back and forth as his moans got louder and his grip on you got tighter. His eyes were fixated on your breasts that were bouncing up and down right in his view, his hands were stuck to your ass and were kneading your plush skin, and his hips were starting to thrust up into you.Â
âIâm close, fuck,â he moaned as he felt your walls tighten around himâyou were close too, again.Â
âO- oh, fuck,â you whimpered while falling forward, your chest pressed against his. âJoe, youâre so fuckingâŠ,â you trailed off as a moan interrupted your sentence. âIâm gonna cum,â you whispered against his swollen, plump lips.
âY- yeah, me too,â he panted, snapping his hips into yours harder. A few seconds later, your bodies moved against each other in perfect harmony for the final time as both of your releases hit at the same time, both of you feeling like your breaths had just been taken away by the intensity of your orgasms.Â
âJoe,â you screamed, feeling your high hit you again like a ton of bricks, stars filling your eyes as your second release soaked your lower halves as you felt Joeâs cock twitch inside of you. Â
âFuck, Y/NâŠoh my god,â he rasped as he shot hot spurts of cum inside your wet, hot cunt, slowly thrusting whatever came out back into your core. His hands were gripping your hips now, so incredibly tightly that you were sure they would leave a small bruise. You looked down and saw how his nose was scrunched up, how his bottom lip was stuck between his teeth, and how his eyes were filled with love, regret, and admiration towards you.Â
A couple of minutes later, you were both lying next to each other, trying to catch your breath and make sense of everything that happened in the past hour or so. Joe turned his head to the side to look at you, taking note of how you were biting away at your bottom lipâsomething you did when you were anxious.
You were in fact anxious. Your argument was bad, and whatever happened on this bed was amazing, but where did it actually get you? Yeah, you were much calmer and in your senses (kind of?) for the most part, but you had hardly talked about the reason you two even got to this point.Â
Joe, with a mix of feelings, let out a deep, heartfelt sigh. He gently put his arm around your bare shoulder, pulling you close to his warm chest. Amid your overwhelming confusion, he became your safe haven even though he was the reason you were confused in the first place.
You felt the gentle touch of his lips as he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. He then rested his mouth and nose against it, inhaling your natural fragrance. This simple act brought him a unique sense of comfort that no one else, not even his friends, could provide. It was this deep connection that made him realize the need to apologize to you. You were right, you were always right.
âBaby?â he asked you, causing you to look up at him with your tired eyes.
âY- yeah?â you rasped, your voice scratchy from the activities you were partaking in just a few minutes ago.Â
âIâm so, and I mean so fucking sorry for what I did,â he sighed. âI really didnât mean to make you feel invisible or ignored this past month, you donât deserve that. Iâm sorry that I havenât been giving you the attention you deserve lately, especially because you do so much for me, more than anyone ever has or ever will,â he sniffled, his eyes welling with tears.Â
âJoe,â you pouted, moving your hand to cup his soft cheek and rubbing your thumb under his eye, seeing how glossy his eyes got all of a sudden. âItâs okay, I promise,â.
âItâs not, Y/N,â he said with another gentle kiss to your forehead. âI told you that you were the center of my galaxy, and you are. I hate that I made you feel like you werenât anymore, thatâs so fucked up. I shouldâve talked to you about all of this and shouldnât have expected you to say something first. I was the one that needed to get myself straight and Iâm so sorry that I let things get to this point,â.
You felt his hand moving in gentle, soothing circles on your back, providing a comforting and secure touch. In his arms, your worries and tensions seemed to melt away in two distinct ways: the intimacy you shared in the bedroom, and the reassuring feeling of his current actions.
âI just felt like I was losing you,â you admitted. âI was scared that we were drifting apart and I just-,â.
âNo,â he interrupted. âYouâre not losing me, baby. Youâre never going to lose me,â he softly said as he moved his hands into your hair. âIâm not gonna let that happen, not now and not in 15 years when weâre middle-aged and have two kids running around and are arguing about who has to drive the kids to school the next morning,â he smiled.
A soft chuckle left your lips as you imagined what he was saying, an image of your promising future with Joe filled your mindâand it was oh-so sweet. âObviously you. I need beauty sleep,â you chuckled.Â
âNoted,â he smiled as he pulled you closer to him as if you werenât already stuck to him like glue. He opened his mouth to say something again, and the tone of his voice knew that what he was about to say could easily make you cry, âI don't think I could find the right words to describe the depth of my love for you. What I feel for you overpowers any other emotion I've ever experienced. It's as if my soul has finally found its missing piece in you. I will choose you, again and again, without hesitation. No one else can make me feel the way you do. You mean everything to me. When I look at you, I see my life partner, my best friend, my everything. You have the unique ability to improve every aspect of my lifeâevery laugh becomes brighter, and every tough day feels more manageable because you're there for me. You have given me a type of love that I never thought possible, and I'll forever treasure the way you've positively impacted my life. My love for you is something I'll wholeheartedly protect because no one else will ever have my heart the way you do. From the moment we met, I felt something unique about you. I've never loved anyone the way I love you, and I know I never will. You're my heart, my soul, and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. No one else will ever come close to producing the feelings I have for you, and I'll always do everything in my power to ensure you feel as cherished and adored as you deserve.â he said while playing with your messy hair.Â
You felt tears falling from your eyes after he finished talking, you didnât even realize when you started crying, but you were. âWait, I didnât mean to make you cry,â he softly said as he leaned down and cleaned up your tears by placing kisses on each droplet. âIâm sorry, baby,â he said, his softness so adorable and genuine.Â
âItâs okay, Joey,â you grinned, a few sniffles coming from your nose. âIâm crying because of how much I love you. What you saidâŠthat means a lot,â.Â
âI mean it, Y/N. Iâm genuinely so sorry for tonight, for this past month, for all of it. You are always number 1 for me and I need to show you that more from now on. I donât deserve you at all, but I have you, and I wonât overlook something as valuable as you or not take advantage of the fact that you, this amazingly sweet, sexy, empathetic, down-to-earth, incredibly genuine, kindhearted, funny & sometimes slightly boringâŠâ he started to say before you interrupted him.
âOuch,â you giggled as you patted his chest, earning a soft chuckle from him. Â
â...boring but unpredictable, loving, insanely beautiful, and charismatic girl has my heart in her hands,â he finished saying. âI love you, Y/N. I need to do better for you, and from this moment on I will. You deserve to be loved with 150% effort and Iâm going to make sure you do. The guys can wait. Iâve spent enough time with them for them to go a couple of weeks, even months without seeing me. Itâs you and me now and forever,â he said to you, his soft, loving eyes acting as a mirror to his soulâwhich showed his genuine and raw intentions and were exactly as he was describing to you.Â
âI love you, Joe,â you smiled as you felt him brush his lips against your lips before planting a deep, passionate kiss to them.Â
âTime to get things back on track,â he said a few seconds later, sitting up on the bed and bringing you with him. âItâs too late for our dinner reservation but Iâm going to get it shifted to tomorrow. Tonight weâre going to the banks for some stargazing and a late-night picnic. We can pick up some pizza and ice cream from that place by the stadium on our way,â he nodded, talking you through the plan as if he had thought about this deeply, but he didnât. He was coming up with all this on the fly. âThen tomorrow morning after we wake up, we can go on a little hike in that part by my parentâs house in Athens. Itâll be a drive but we can hike around there since itâs so pretty this time of the year and see my parents, maybe even get lunch with them at our favorite cafe over there before heading back home for dinner tomorrow night. On Sunday, itâs a full lazy day inside. Weâre going to stay in our pajamas all day, do a Twilight movie marathon because I remember you saying you want me to watch them with you, order food to the house for lunch and dinner, maybe even bake some cookies or something, and then spend the rest of the day in bed. Preferably with no clothes,â he grinned.Â
You were left speechless as you looked at him, impressed by how effortlessly he had drafted these plans without considering his own weekend schedule. The sight of him thinking on the spot filled you with affection, and your heart swelled with a mix of emotions.Â
You leap forward and wrap your arms around his neck as you smother his face with gentle kisses, âI loveeeeee youuuuuuuuu,â you giggle, feeling him wrap his arms around your waist and hearing his soft chuckles in your ear.Â
âI love you too, baby. Youâre the shining force at the center of my galaxy, the light that everything else revolves around. Like the planets drawn to their sun, my life is pulled by your existence, and I know that for us to thrive, our orbit needs to be steady. Every moment with you is a delicate balance of love, trust, and effortâeach one keeping us aligned, making sure our world doesnât drift apart. Iâll protect that balance, making sure that no matter what forces try to interfere, we stay on track, always revolving around the core of what weâve built together," he says to you, his heartfelt words, his embrace, the genuine look in his eyes all making you fall deeper in love with him.
"This is why I like you so much," you grin as you meet his baby blues, answering his question from earlier.
"What do you mean?" he asks you, licking his lips as he uses his hand to move his hair back.
"I like you because you're the most thoughtful, raw, incredibly well-spoken, smartest, nerdiest, most adorable and manly, genuine person I've ever met in my entire existence. You make me mad sometimes, but you also know exactly how to fix what you did and make everything even better than it was before. You're always making an effort to fix things. Yeah, you can be a dick, asshole, and oblivious idiot sometimes...,".
"Hey!" he gasps, acting like he was offended over what you said.
"But you're my obvious idiot and I love you for everything you are. You love me, like really love me and I know that and you never fail to make me know that. Also because you're like super sexy and I can't get enough of you and that damn eyebrow raise," you giggled.
"Oh, you like that?" he asked, giving you that eyebrow raise again.
"Do that again and we're staying in this bed the rest of the night," you smiled at him and said. "I might even end up pregnant by the end of it,".
Joe was stunned at your words, "Damn, so you really like that," he slowly nodded with a smirk.
"Really may be an understatement. Just know that you don't want to be inside my brain whenever you do that eyebrow raise," you winked. "I don't think we have enough anti-horny spray to get rid of the thoughts in my head,".
"Being perpetually horny is good for the soul, babe. Embrace it," Joe smiled as he leaned in and slowly kissed you in a way that made your toes curl and your body light on fire.
He fell back down against the pillows and brought you down with him. "Joe," you said in between the kiss, "We have to go," you smiled.
"Another round won't hurt," he said while giving you the eyebrow raise again, now knowing what it did to you.
You rolled your eyes, "Fuck, you're going to use that every damn time from now on, aren't you?".
"Maaaybe," he grinned as he brought you back down to his soft lips.
âThe Endâ
If he is a red flag then I am colour blind đ©đ»âđŠŻđ©đ»âđŠŻđ©đ»âđŠŻđ©đ»âđŠŻđ©đ»âđŠŻđ©đ»âđŠŻ
This song can change my mood to excited in seconds
Ready for cricket world cup now !!!
I AM GOING TO TREAT TUMBLR AS MY MOOD BOARD
Tumblr has became only fans just with not 18+ content đđ
Offfgg
JOE KEERY for WWD
By Kevin Sinclair
Ghostsoap but itâs the Steve/Bucky Cap America/Winter Solider dynamicâŠthe angst of it all would just be đđđ»
Anon, if there's one thing I love writing more than smut, it's angst. I had so much fun with this, you have no idea! It's sad boy hours, my friends! Let's make these men suffer đ (Â also, don't come after me for the plot, it was just some half-baked idea I had about Makarov being like a hydra equivalent or something idk lol)
I Knew Him - chapter 1
Summary: Soap was never the same after he lost Ghost all those years ago. He still has nightmares about it. But when he learns Makarov is back after taking Ghost from him, he'll do anything to exact his revenge. Until he discovers Ghost was never really gone.
Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | AO3 link
It had been five years since Soap had last seen Ghost. Five years since he had seen him fall. And he was still plagued almost every night with dreams of him. Tonight was no different.Â
Soap awoke with a start, heart pounding wildly in his chest, soaked in sweat. He sat up, drawing his knees to his chest, burying his face against his forearms. Goddammit. Would this ever end? He slowly looked up to get his bearings. Moonlight filtering in through the window cast the room in a soft silver glow. He was at home. The salt of unshed tears burned at the back of his throat, remembering the nights he had shared with Ghost in this very flat. In this very bed. Fuck.
After giving himself a few minutes to catch his breath he made his way into the kitchen, knowing he wouldn't be getting back to sleep after that one. He had been holding Ghost's hand this time, holding on as hard as he could, but it wasn't enough. He wasn't strong enough to pull him back into the helo. And then he was gone, disappearing down, down, down into a rising cloud of dust.Â
The ending to the nightmares was always the same: Ghost falling and falling. But sometimes, like tonight, Soap was able to grasp his hand, to touch him one last time. It almost made it even worse. Because in the actual memory of it from all those years ago, Soap hadn't ever had a chance to grab on.Â
Rubbing a hand roughly over his tired face, Soap padded barefoot to the stove. A headache was already beginning to form in his left temple. He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose as he started the kettle going. For a brief moment he considered something a little stronger than tea, but then thought better of it. He knew that the bottle of whisky in his cabinet only made him think of Ghost and getting black-out drunk at 3 o'clock in the fucking morning probably wasn't the best idea.Â
He was numbly watching a bag of Earl Grey steep in a mug of hot water and checking emails on his phone when a text came through. It was Price. "Rendezvous at the base at 0500. New intel on Makarov."
Soap's heart plummeted. Well, shit.Â
It was still dark out when Soap walked into the base to meet with his team. He had showered and shaved, but still felt tired way down to his fucking bones. He couldnât remember the last time heâd had a full nightâs sleep. Before Ghost fell, thatâs when. The headache in his temple started coming back and he groaned, digging in his pocket for the small bottle of ibuprofen he kept on hand. He tipped a couple back onto his tongue and swallowed them dry, then made his way into the conference room to find Price already there, cigar in his mouth, waiting.Â
The rest of the team filed in slowly and when everyone had taken a seat, Price stood. Soap watched wearily as Price loaded a military brief onto the giant flat screen on the wall. âMorning, gentlemen. Let me get right down to it. We received classified intel of an attack being planned by Makarov in downtown D.C. happening twenty-four hours from now. And we have been tasked with stopping it."
A murmur swept across the room.
Soap sat forward in his seat, unchecked anger simmering just under the surface. âI thought we bagged that Russian prick afterâŠâ he stopped mid-sentence because he knew the next words out of his mouth were about to be after I lost Ghost. He cleared his throat and started again, âafter Kyrgyzstan.â
Price shook his head, not quite meeting Soapâs eyes, and looked back to the screen. âNegative. Intelligence indicates that while we did get a positive lock on his location and obliterated his base, he escaped to a hidden shelter. Heâs been operating underground for the last five years, working on a new secret weapon -- a weapon heâs planning on using in D.C.â He sighed and ashed his cigar before putting it back in his mouth. âWe thought we were done with him, but he apparently wasn't done with us. The details have been sent to all of you. We rendezvous at the meeting point in two hours. Letâs nail this bastard once and for all. Dismissed.â
Everyone began leaving the room. Soap stood slowly on legs that were not quite steady. Priceâs news made him numb, forcing his mind to relive that day with a heartbreaking clarity. The mission, the missile making contact on Makarov's compound, the helo taking a hit, Ghost. They were never able to recover his body. Soap never even got to say goodbye. It was just so fucking unfair.Â
Soap was so lost in himself he hardly even processed Price saying his name. Â
âMacTavish, a word.âÂ
Blinking, Soap nodded and made his way across the empty room to Price. He stood before him at parade rest.Â
âSoap, I know you and Ghost were close.â Soap swallowed against a lump that formed in this throat, but pushed down any other emotion trying to show on his face. Price continued, âIt wasnât easy on the 141 when we lost him, but I know it was even harder for you. Will you be able to carry out the duties assigned to you in this mission, Lieutenant?âÂ
A tic bunched in Soap's jaw and he straightened his back. "Aye, Captain." His voice was hoarse. "There is nothing I want more than to bring this motherfucker down for what he did. And what he plans to do.â For Ghost.
Priceâs mouth set in a hard line and he studied Soap for a moment. Finally he said, âAll right. Let's get this done, then.â
Soap nodded sharply once and left the room. His breath left his lungs with a whoosh. He found the nearest empty office and closed himself inside. Leaning back against the door, he slid slowly to the floor, blinking back tears. A mixture of emotion battled within him. Shock, grief, sorrow, anger. The anger ultimately won, though, as it usually does. He held onto it, allowing it to simmer hotly deep in his chest, burning up everything else but the raw demand of bringing Makarov down. He owed Ghost that much.
The next two hours passed in a blur. Soap operated on instinct alone; cleaning his guns, sharpening his knives, packing a rucksack. He tried his best not to dwell on much of anything at all except to prepare himself for what was to come. It was an effective technique apparently because he soon found himself at the rendezvous point at the airfield with no real recollection of how he got there. He joined up with the task force on the tarmac as they loaded themselves into the awaiting C-130. And they were off to D.C.Â
Soapâs exhaustion finally caught back up to him on the three hour flight and he was actually able to sleep for most of it. He, thankfully, had no dreams at all.Â
********************************************************************
After touching down, the 141 wasted no time in gathering in a caravan of SUVs and heading toward the location they received from Laswellâs intelligence brief. They were just about to exit off the Roosevelt Bridge when they were ambushed by Makarov's team, who seemed to come out of fucking nowhere. Straight adrenaline took over Soapâs whole body on the first collision of the Hummer behind them that slammed them sideways into the concrete barriers on their right. Another Hummer drove the wrong way up the highway, weaving between oncoming traffic, firing out the passenger window with a high caliber rifle. The second shot took out Soapâs driver who immediately plowed into the car in front of them, bringing them to a shuddering stop.Â
Soapâs heart thundered in his chest, but a lethal composure doused the fear rising up inside him. This was Makarovâs doing. And that bastard was going to fucking regret doing it. Ducking down in the back seat, Soap quickly dug his AK from his bag. He waited for a break in the rapid fire then exploded out of the vehicle in a hail of bullets. He found cover behind an empty utility truck. It was all out chaos with people running and screaming, gunfire cracking from all angles, and the remaining men of the task force shouting orders.Â
Soap peeked around the corner of his cover, taking out three of Makarovâs soldiers in a row with perfectly placed shots. Gaz, hunkered down behind him, took out a few more. For a moment, it appeared that they were gaining the upper hand. But then a man, hulking in height, dressed in all black with a hood shrouding his face in shadow, grasping a Kastov-74u in a gloved hand, exited one of the Humvees. Soap felt a chill shoot straight down his spine.Â
Sweet screaming Jesus
Soap emptied the last rounds of his last clip at the man but it did not slow him down in the slightest. He was blazing a path straight at Soap, like he had a personal vendetta against him. Fuck. The hard set of his broad shoulders, his imposing gait, all seemed to light up some forgotten memory in Soap's brain that he could not quite put his finger on. He surely couldn't even try to remember with the utter fucking bedlam happening all around him
"I'm empty," Gaz shouted at him.
Soap looked back over his shoulder. "Aye, same here!" This was going fubar faster than he was ready for.Â
His attention returned to the enemy stalking up the highway toward him. The man popped off two rounds, drilling into the truck right next to his head.Â
"Fuckin' hell," Soap gasped for breath. Then he heard the click of a dry fire and knew this was his only chance to bring this fucker down.Â
Securing his blade in hand, Soap made a run for it, swiping at the assailant fiercely with his knife. The man blocked the incoming attack but not before Soap was able to get a couple brutal slices to his forearm. The other arm was impenetrable though, surprising Soap momentarily. It was made of some kind of metal, something Soap had never seen before.Â
He looked up at the man with wide eyes, then tried sweeping his feet out from under him. The man was unmoveable. A feral growl rumbled up from the man's chest and Soap knew he was well and truly fucked.Â
He lunged at him, ringing his hands around Soap's neck, picking him up off his feet and throwing him back against the concrete barrier behind him. Pain shot up Soap's lower back when he connected with it but it was the furthest thing from his mind. All he could think was shit shit shit.Â
Soap scrambled up from the ground, knife still in hand, and slammed it into the manâs metal bicep. It sparked momentarily before the man knocked the knife from his grip. It went sliding across the pavement. Soap tried for hand to hand combat but it too was quickly shut down. The man was too fast, too strong. Still, Soap gave it his all.Â
It just wasn't fucking enough.Â
Snarling, the man picked Soap up by his flack jacket and attempted to hurl him up and over the bridge. Soap grasped for something, anything, as he fell over the edge and was able to grab his assailant's vest, holding on for everything he was worth. It tipped the man enough off balance for them both to fall over the precipice.Â
Soap squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for impact, almost hoping for the end. But it was only about a six meter plummet onto a grassy berm that led down to the river â enough to knock the breath from his lungs as he managed to land on top of the man currently trying to kill him. He rolled onto his feet, ready to keep going, ready to fight for his fucking life. The man gained his feet too, but this time with his hood pushed back, exposing his eyes. The lower half of his face was still obscured, covered by a skull mask.
Soap straightened abruptly. Everything came crashing to a halt. He knew those eyes. He knew that face. Even if it wasn't completely visible. His heart contracted painfully in his ribcage at the realization.Â
"Ghost?"
The man's chest heaved, but he paused. His brows were drawn together, like he was just asked the most complicated question in the world. "Who the fuck is Ghost?"
Soap stared at him in disbelief. He took one small step forward. Was this really happening? Or was he trapped inside another nightmare?
He wanted to rush forward, to pull Ghost into his arms, to ask him how any of this was possible. âI thought I lost youâŠâ he began, but before he could reach Ghost, an explosion rocked the bridge behind him. Soap looked back over his shoulder, but when he turned back Ghost was gone.  Â
*****************
Later that night, Ghost was sitting in a chair in Makarovâs underground bunker while a man in a white coat repaired the gash on his robotic arm. They were surrounded by armed guards in the small room, but Ghost knew there was no point to them. He could clear the whole room of every breathing person within a matter of minutes if he was given the order to.Â
He was bare from the waist up, ambivalently watching the glow of the tool as it patched the defect caused by the knife held by the man on the bridge. Something gnawed at him, deep inside. Some memory that was just out of his grasp. It made him uneasy. He remembered falling, he remembered the man from the bridge, reaching, screaming for him. He remembered darkness and pain. And more pain. But the memories were fractured, hazy. Â
Ghost heard Makarov walk into the room that led to the one he was currently in. He was talking to the handful of men that followed him wherever he went.
âHeâs unstable. Erratic,â one of Makarovâs men said.Â
Ghost didnât look up when they walked in, only continued staring at the man working on his arm. He was trying to dredge up long forgotten memories, but it was so hard to focus.Â
âMission report,â Makarov barked, coming to a stop before Ghost.
Ghost looked up at him slowly. The barest hint of a memory sparked in his mind of the man from the bridge. They were laying in a bed together. He was holding the manâs face. The man had his eyes closed and he was smiling.
A confusing emotion knotted up his stomach and he only stared at Makarov, not really seeing him, trying to pull more of that memory out of the jumbled mess of his brain.Â
âMission report, now!â Makarov ordered, bending closer to Ghostâs face. Â
Ghost didnât hear him. He blinked owlishly. A bed. The man on the bridge. Smiling so softly.Â
He was suddenly pulled out of his trance by a swift backhand across his face. The pain of it stung across his cheek, but he barely registered it. He looked up at Makarov slowly, his brows drawing together as he tried so hard to remember.Â
âThat man on the bridge. Who was he?âÂ
Makarov was quiet for a moment. âYou met him earlier on another assignment.â
Ghost shook his head. He knew that was a lie, but his memories were so clouded, he didnât know if he could trust his own mind. âI knew him,â he said softly.Â
Makarov sighed and pulled up a stool to sit at Ghostâs eye level. âYour work has been a gift to mankind,â he began, but Ghost immediately tuned him out. The memory was just out of reach. If he could just remember the manâs name.
Makarov finally stopped talking. He looked at Ghost expectantly. Ghost felt a wave of sadness crash over him for the life he couldnât remember. âBut I knew him,â he said again with a shaky voice.Â
Makarov frowned and stood abruptly. He began walking away. âPrep him.âÂ
One of the white coat men stopped him. âWe canât do that, sir. Heâs been out too long.â
Makarov turned toward Ghost, looking him up and down with a disapproving glare. âThen wipe him and start over.âÂ
Ghostâs heart rate jumped at those words, even if he didnât really understand what it meant. In the back of his mind, deep, deep down, he knew he had been through this many times before.Â
The white coat men pushed Ghost back into the chair while Makarovâs soldiers all watched. And then a rubber dental guard was being shoved in his mouth. Fear flooded his senses as he was locked into the chair and he fought to drag in oxygen. The man on the bridge. His soft smile. The tender press of his lips on mine. Ghost replayed the only memories he had, holding on to them, trying not to forget this time. Please, donât forget this time!Â
The plates came down over his face. They were cold against his skin and had an electrical scent to them. Terror immediately swept through him. Donât forget donât forget donât forget. And then there was only pain and the echo of Ghostâs scream as he fell and fell and fell.Â
PSA: never discuss private affairs in your DMs, especially contraception and abortion. Social media moguls will absolutely sell you out to the government. There are already cases of people being charged based on evidence in their DMs.
My mother: so do you have a boyfriend yet
Me who is to bussy simping on fictional men to even consider lowering my standered to reality: no I'm waiting for the right guy
bucky barnes is my favvourite avenger
Creations by ZIWU Artemis
soo pretty


