Forehead Senpai

"I’m still figuring out who I am, but I know I’m not who I was." ‡Indie Brendon Urie RP Blog‡ ‡Occasionally Selective‡ ‡Multi-verse, Multi-ship, & All Muses Friendly‡ ‡Mun & Muse are 21+‡

[aubergine-dreams]

x

[mehmehbleh-deactivated20211204]

[ipanickedatthedisco]

[rppanda]

Send 🌋 to encounter my Muse during an emotional outburst

[halchroma-blog]

Happy Birthday, Brendon ✨

[snailtattoo-deactivated20210605]

Halsey + Brendon and Sarah Urie

[tragedysins]

[musingmemes]

three word starters pt. 2

“don’t you dare.”

“look at me.”

“just forget it.”

“i’m not mad.”

“you’re being mean.”

“what a mess.”

“you are perfect.”

“jesus fucking christ.”

“you’ll be okay.”

“take a seat.”

“don’t let go.”

“oh my god.”

“you’re the worst.”

“you’re my favorite.”

“i ruined everything.”

“you ruined everything.”

“just trust me.”

“i’m not drunk.”

“i feel lost.”

“i’m so alone.”

“you’re not alone.”

“hold onto me.”

“just come here.”

“stay the night.”

“please just go.”

“please don’t go.”

[runawayncble-blog]

DEATH OF A BACHELOR STARTER MEMES

[ possibly triggering items below ]

01. Victorious

“Tonight we are victorious.” “Let me be your killer king.” “It hurts until it stops; we will love until it’s not.” “I’m a killing spree in white.” “My touch is black and poisonous.” “I know you need it.” “Do you feel it?” “Drink the water.” “Drink the wine.” “We gotta turn up the crazy; livin’ like a washed up celebrity.” “It’s all up the sleeve.” “Fifty words for murder and I’m every one of them.” “All my friends were glorious.”

02. Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time

“It’s a helluva feeling though .” “Who are these people?” “I just woke up in my underwear.” “I should probably introduce myself.” “You shoulda seen what I wore.” “I was the king of this hologram.” “Memories tend to just pop up.” “Don’t think I’ll ever get enough.” “Champagne, cocaine, gasoline and most things in between.” “This night is heating up.” “If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe.” “Don’t threaten me with a good time .” “What are these footprints?” “Now I wish that I could find my clothes.” “Can’t even tell if this is a dream.” “How did we end up in my neighbors pool?” “I usually don’t fall when I try to stand.” “I’ve told you time and time again.” “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.” “I think we’ve had enough.”        

03. Hallelujah

“A moment you’ll never remember.” “A night that you’ll never forget.” “Show praise with your body.” “And if you can’t stop shaking, lean back; Let it move right through ya.” “My life started the day I got caught.” “Who was I tryna be?” “Then the time for being sad is over.” “Missin’ them like you miss no other.” “Being blue is better than being over it.” “I was drunk and it didn’t mean a thing.” “Stop thinking about the words from my mouth.” “I love the things you hate about yourself.” “Just finish the daydream.” “Who were you tryna be?” “No one wants you when you have no heart.” “You’ll never know if you don’t ever try.” “Let’s try.”  

04. Emperor’s New Clothes

“Finders keepers, losers weepers.” “Welcome to the end of eras.” “Done my time and served my sentence.” “It must be mine.” “You just might see a ghost tonight.” “And if you don’t know now you know.” “I’m taking back the crown.” “I’m all dressed up and naked.” “I see what’s mine and take it.” “So close I can taste it.” “I’m so much more than royal.” “Mortal kings are ruling castles.” “Welcome to my world of fun.” “Flip the switch.” “Watch them run.” “Heroes will always be remembered.” “Legends will never die.”

05. Death of a Bachelor

“Do I look lonely?” “I see the shadows on my face.” “People have told me I don’t look the same.” “Maybe I lost weight.” “Put my heart on your chest so that you can see it too.” “I’m walking the long road.” “I’m watching the sky fall.” “The lace of your dress tingles my neck.” “How do I live?” “How could I ask for more?” “Feels like my heart is going to burst.” “I just want to be served.” “And when you think of me, am I the best you’ve ever had?” “Share one more drink with me.” “Smile even though you’re sad.”

06. Crazy=Genius

“You can set yourself on fire.” “You’re so normal that you disappear.”  “There’s no residue of torture in your eyes.” “Crazy equals genius.” “If crazy equals genius, then I’m a fucking rocket scientist.” “If crazy equals genius, then I’m a fucking arsonist.” “The wine seems to play tricks on my tongue.”  “You don’t seem to have changed.” “The cut of your knife never hurts.”

07. LA Devotee

“You got two black eyes from loving too hard.” “I wouldn’t change ya.” “I wouldn’t ever try to make you leave.” “Just another LA devotee.” “You got bleached out eyes from the valley sand.” “I couldn’t ever try to make you see.” “Always on the hunt for a little more time.”   

08. Golden Days

“I found a pile of Polaroids in the crates from a record shop.” “They were sexy.” “Sexy, looking back from a night that time forgot.” “Don’t you wonder when the light begins to fade?” “The clock just makes the colors turn to grey.” “Forever younger growing older just the same.” “All the memories that we make will never change.” “We’ll stay drunk, we’ll stay tan.” “Let the love remain.” “I bet they met some diplomats on Bianca Jagger’s new yacht.” “The air was sauna hot.”

09. The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty

“Truth is that it was always going to end.” “True; all of the good girls act so good, til one of them doesn’t wait their turn .” “If you wanna start a fight, you better throw the first punch.” “Make it a good one.” “You better say my name.” “I know what it’s like to have to trade the ones that you love for the ones you hate.” “Don’t think I’ve ever used a day of my education.” “There’s only two ways that these things can go; good or bad.” “I’ve got the last judgement.” “You’ve been gone so long, I forgot what you felt like.”

10. House of Memories

“If you’re a lover, you should know: the lonely moments just get lonelier.” “Memories turns into a daydream.” “It becomes a taboo.” “I don’t want to be afraid.” “It takes my breath away.” “Baby, we built this house on memories.” “Take my picture now.” “I think of you time to time, more than I thought I would.” “They’ll always haunt me.” “I wish I could believe you never wronged me.” “Will you remember me in the same way I remember you?” “Promise me a place in your house of memories.”

11. Impossible Year

“There’s no sunshine.” “Only black days and sky grey and clouds full of fear and storms full of sorrow that won’t disappear.” “There’s no good times.” “They’re so insincere.” “They just intrude and extrude.” “There’s no you and me.” “There’s never air to breathe.” “There’s never in-betweens.” “These nightmares always hang on past the dream.”  

[makeout-point]

When someone says they don’t like Panic! At The Disco

[tsukiakarinoniji-archive]

Anonymously or not, send “How To Care For” instructions for my muse

[serpent-roses-deactivated202012]

Agree re: Dad to Daddy. Thought evidence might be beneficial.

Dad:

Dad(dy):

And then whatever THIS is:

[positivehardcxrethursday]

I’m the light, blinking at the end of the road... [decoratedxemergencies]

[positivehardcxrethursday]

decoratedxemergencies:

Ryan shook his head, he was in this for the long haul, he had nothing to be afraid of anymore and like hell was he going to let his second chance slip away. He sat in silence and listened to what Brendon had to say, seeing the tears in his eyes and finally pulling him into his arms, holding him tight. “Baby I love you.. I love you so much and I’m sorry that I never reached out, I never tried harder…” He breathed, running his hands through his hair gently. “I’m not leaving, not again, I won’t do that to you.“ Ryan didn’t know exactly how to explain why things had gone so downhill between them in the first place, he didn’t think it was Brendon at all instead it was himself.

“You did absolutely nothing wrong, I was stupid for leaving, for not talking things out..” He began, sighing heavily and still keeping the boy close. “I wasn’t ready to be who I was, I couldn’t accept the fact that I like guys instead of girls. I thought I was a freak and if people found out they were going to start making fun of us, or y’know worse. You didn’t deserve that, Spencer didn’t- Jon didn’t. I didn’t want people to think we were just a joke because the guitarist and the singer fell in love. On top of all that I was fucked up out of my mind on drugs, that only made things worse. None of it was your fault.”

 Brendon clung to the other, burling into him and just quietly sobbing into his chest. He listened to Ryan as he spoke, knuckles going white as he clutched at the fabric of Ryan’s shirt. “I wouldn’t have cared.... I would have given up everything to have you....” he sobs into the other male. Granted, Brendon was in no way bemoaning having Sarah, she picked up the pieces of his broken heart, but he was always going to love Ryan and always want him.

“A-And I wished.... I wish you’d let me help you....” he whimpers. Just like he wished Spencer had let him help. Though after a moment Brendon just breaks down and cries. It was like all that pain and hurt was bubbling up again, but this time, it was trying to escape, to leave him for good. “I thought you hated me Ry.... you hated that I was given the spotlight, that I took what was yours....” he sobs. “I didn’t know what to think....”

He eventually pulls back to look at Ryan, eyes red and puffy as tears still fell from them. “A-And the moment I got you back...... I... I have always lived in fear you’d go away again.... l-like when you began to detox a-and...... fuck....” he thumps his forehead against Ryan’s chest. “I can’t.... I can’t lose you again.... I won’t survive it....”

[subunidad]

invented being done

[cxritas-blog]

Send me a "♦" for the first word my muse thinks of when your muse is mentioned.

[positivehardcxrethursday]

I’m the light, blinking at the end of the road... [decoratedxemergencies]

[positivehardcxrethursday]

decoratedxemergencies:

Ryan nodded slowly. “I thought it was about us… Either that or splitting in general. I’m sorry B.” He breathed. He understood but at the same time he didn’t, things were good, why bring up the past and hurt things again? “I’m right here… not gonna go anywhere, I love you. You and Sarah both..” Ryan murmured, feeling his heart skip a bit at Brendon’s last words. “What do you mean by that..?” It almost sounded as if Brendon was wanting to call things off. That couldn’t be the case. He wouldn’t do that.

Brendon whimpers a bit and tugs Ryan in closer. Needing to feel him, needing to soothe his mind as anxiety built up. The front man lets out a shaky breath and looks up at Ryan for a long moment. And no, Brendon was gonna call things off, not by a long shot. He had his first love back and he was gonna hold on with all he had. “I mean.... I’m afraid if I keep wanting to talk about it, to give myself the closure to tell you all I felt and feel and how it affected me.... you’ll want to leave...” his voice was shaking now. Tears filled those chocolatey brown eyes before spilling over. “I don’t want you to feel bad.... I just want to tell you the truth of how it all went down.... I need you to understand...”

Then Bren pulls back a bit and holds his head. “I feel like I’m fucking crazy sometimes Ry...” he cries softly. “I’m so happy but I still got all that shit inside of me, it did’t just go away because I got you back and we came together again, I can’t just forget the way it all felt and the shit it did to me...” he bows his head. “How all this feels was what I meant but that line....” he takes in a breath. “That I’m skin and bones, just a king and a rusty throne, oh the castle’s under siege, but the sign outside says leave me alone....” he sang shakily. “I was left with a crown and throne I never thought I’d carry and run alone...” he frowns. “I was trying to send out messages through my songs, they became my diary.... ‘Far Too Young to Die’, ‘Golden Days’..... ‘House of Memories’...” he bows his head and just sobs.

“I hate that even being happy that hurt became so woven into me...” he takes Ryan’s hands again. “I just.... I need to talk about it.... but I am scared it will make you leave because you think that’s what you gotta do or something I don’t fucking know, but damn it Ry I can’t lose you again.....” he shakes his head. “You were my first love..... first guy I’d ever been with....” he shuts his eyes tightly. “You were my everything.... and I still don’t know what I did wrong....” he says quietly. All these years, beneath it all he believed he’d done something to drive Ryan away and his anger and his hurt came from Ryan not telling him to his face or talking to him.

[daydream-spills]

dallon weekes + text posts