have you considered: biting you biting you biting y @possiblytracker-moved - Tumblr Blog

I HAVE MOVED!!!!

hi if you're reading this! I am no longer using this blog. A lot of time has passed and I've had a lot of thoughts about it, and I'm moving onto a new chapter of my life after posting here since i was 14-15. It's been fun and a piece of my soul still lives here but I've long since outgrown it, I think.

Sorry for not making a new post but tumblr's insistence on notifying my entire follower count terrifies me, and i'm trying to keep it lowkey. I don't want to shout about my new blog too much, but if you've read this far and are sure you want to follow me around, look for keyboardweasel. please don't message me here, I will not see it I don't log in anymore

thank you! old pinned post is still under the cut for archiving's sake

#pinned

courtesy of the enablers in my notes, here is my Flamingo Wisdom gained from the catch today

first of all, a flamingo separated from its flock (as it has to be when you are moving that beast around) is kind of like a horse, in that it will freak the fuck out if a leaf so much as moves in the corner of its eye, and it really really really wants to break its stupid twig legs by any means necessary. and you really cannot let them do this, because they will probably die, but they are stronger than they look and despite their insane 70+yrs captive lifespan they appear pretty fucking determined to spectacularly remove themselves from this mortal coil. if they cannot kill themselves, they will simply attempt to kill something else; if you do not personally clamp their beaks shut using your entire hand they will reach around with their long stupid tube necks and start swinging without hesitation. they bite, and will rip out hair and earrings and whatever else in reach they can get their fucked up beaks on. several of the flamingos were covered in visible blood stains of unknown origin before even picking them up, and half the day was spent wondering if one had been attacked and was doing all this bleeding, but as far as i know nobody ended up finding any which left way more questions than answers

to transport a flamingo is a two-person effort, because they are so long and so desperate to fuck up themselves or whoever is around them that you need at least two sets of hands to pull it off safely. one person holds the flamingo facing backwards tucked under one arm kind of like a set of bagpipes. with the other arm you have to hold both legs apart, because if they are allowed to lash out you get fun accidents like "vet tech pummeled in the balls with full force of both flamingo feet at once, advised to leave premises". you have to hold the legs facing downwards, otherwise the circulation gets cut off, as they are physically incapable of pumping their own blood down there without the effects of gravity. the resulting effect looks kind of like you are holding a guitar wrong, or slow-dancing in a really fucked up way. it is also objectively impossible to place your hands on the bird in a way that you will not get pissed on.

the second person has to stand just behind the first and supervises the head, holding its beak shut as shown and supporting the neck in a comfortable position. some flamingos do not Have a comfortable position and will just spend the entire time wriggling and trying to bite you, which you just kind of have to deal with. you also get direct eye contact with the beast at all times, which is. interesting and unnerving

the only people handling them solo were the vet in charge of weighing the animals, the guy sticking them into the back of a van, and my boss, who stood in the corral chasing groups of them into a smaller pen for catching. every time a pair came to collect their next bird he would open the door to the pen, head in alone, you'd briefly hear the most fucked up cartoon fistfight-esque noises from inside, and about thirty seconds later he would reappear with an entire flamingo tucked casually under one arm like a football and just hand it to you. most baffling part of the entire experience, i think

despite the turbulence however they did make it safely to their new home :)

#THIS IS NOT 100% ACCURATE SOME DETAILS ARE SLIGHTLY EMBELLISHED FOR FUNNY PURPOSES. IF ANYONE AT WORK SEES THIS DONT FIRE ME #i am only Barely exaggerating though like im not Lying #only learning the most vital skills for my resume at my work experience volunteering job. at the Duck Zoo. flamingo holder #most fucked up birds ive ever been up close to i am fascinated and appalled.#the first image is a rambunctious young man (born 2017) the second image is a senior citizen (caught as an adult bird in 1961)#LIKE. some of these birds have been here since the sixties when it was still legal for a guy to just Take Birds from places #isnt that insane. its insane to me #anyway that it thats the post #tw unsanitary #ask to tag

got trained to handle flamingos at work today helping move a flock to a new enclosure and i really really Really need to talk about them so badly. most fucked up bird on planet earth

#sorry i died for short time again i got sick but then i got better #just in time for Bird Transport Day #i need time to type up a big stupid post it will be funny i prommy

possiblytracker-moved

anyone want to see the most fucked up goose I've ever seen

possiblytracker-moved

on break again. Everyone feast your eyes on the swan goose

#the most beak of all time. what the fuck

anyone want to see the most fucked up goose I've ever seen

#im on break and discord is blocked on the wifi so here i am

possiblytracker-moved

tbh i thought id have more to post abt when i got back but i am struggling to come up with anything more eventful than the goose i made friends with at my new volunteer job he was supposed to be an animal ambassador for a critically endangered species but he kept biting little kids so now he lives behind the scenes biting volunteers instead.and following me round the yard screaming

^ savage beast who will not be placated by such meagre offerings as day old lettuce

possiblytracker-moved

#good morning fingers have been maimed

^ savage beast who will not be placated by such meagre offerings as day old lettuce

#he NEEDS to eat fingers #i went along to the training day last month still feeling extremely shitty and not even sure if i could do the job or wanted to #but then i met this goose and he trailed me around biting down on my trouser leg and shaking it like a dog for 15 minutes at least #and i was instantly captivated by his aura of violence and deranged charm and i went back the next week #everyone say thank you to this bastard for curing my depression and making me touch grass/j #we have a sort of mutual respect now i let him maul my hand once every morning and we're good for the rest of the day #hes not even That violent he just loves biting. he never does it with intent to Kill or anything. trust me ive seen geese that do #most of the time he just follows you around honking and getting underfoot and wanting attention. and THEN biting you

HMM i think... i am going to go ahead with plans to remake my blog

thought about it for a while and I just think it'd be nice to start posting from a clean slate with less baggage attached! over the many years ive had this blog i feel like i've almost sort of become beholden to my own ideas of what i "should" or "shouldnt" post on it, even though thats very much just in my own head. and I feel like a very different person to when I started it at 15, so it might just be a good time to do it. might just help me shed a little more lingering anxiety

BUT like I said before, this one isn't going to be deleted at all i am much too sentimental... I will probably transfer the url as well (unless i think of a REALLY good one) im possiblytracker til i die. keeping my sideblogs as well since I can move those. but thats all i got for now.. i will keep using this one until i have a replacement set up of course

#ill post about it (and prolly queue some to be spaced out so people see) when im ready to make the move dw #in the meantime i will think of some normal stuff to post about. maybe geese. everyone likes geese right/j #maybe ill put a nice theme on the new one god knows i put that off here for. 6 years #briefly considered the url weaselwednesday to go with my artblog stoatsaturday but it was taken..#i prolly wouldve changed it back before long anyway tbh it feels weird going by smth else on tumblr specifically

finally released from the clutches of migraine what did i miss. oh god theres mesages

#/J /J #entire world actively conspiring to stop me from having enough time to fix my shit i was face down in bed by 8pm last night #its either the stress or my sinuses and they both need to cut it out havent i suffered enough #but. im doing it now. its fine its fine #i can send messages im being so brave about it (manifesting)

#GAH I STILL DONT KNOW HOW TO BE NORMAL BUT THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REACHED OUT/REPLIED ALREADY #i had to run out sometime between scheduling that post and now.. i missed it go up #but considering my worst irrational anxiety with this stuff is abt thinking im gonna get my ass absolutely crucified when i get back #i feel better already #still some people i really need to dm (if they dont get there first) but ill get to that when i can i prommy

coughs loudly. scheduling this post for slightly later today so i have time to get lunch and not chicken out before it goes up

firstly i gotta apologise for dropping off the face of the earth. in hindsight it was creeping up on me for a long time I just didn't think anything of it/had enough stuff going on to ignore it for a while, but ive been wrestling with pretty abysmal mental health that just kinda hit me like a truck back in august. i wont get too much into it but things just ground to a halt and in the span of a week or so it legitimately felt like i stopped being a Person- i just stagnated, felt like i lost the ability and will to do anything or enjoy things or create like i used to, all my energy went into keeping it together in front of my family, and it made me way too anxious and ashamed and guilty to want to show my face. like who would want to put up with my stupid bullshit, right (wrong! that idea just made me unbelievably worse and i regret it extremely, but my anxiety was going extremely unchecked at this time). i don't think i've ever been that depressed before and i didn't at all know how to handle it or begin to claw my way out

fortunately, a combination of getting exercise + touching grass regularly and new enrichment/hyperfixations to latch onto like an orphaned duckling are very recently kicking some life back into me so to speak. who wouldve thought. and now where i used to still feel stomach-turning dread and paranoia thinking about getting back on tumblr and discord a week or two ago, it finally feels like i can handle dipping my toes back in. i'm making this post first bc i know most of my friends will see it, and that feels less taxing than explaining myself a bunch of different times over and over and dragging it out, but ofc i will try and get back into conversation when and as i can (askbox and discord is still best to reach me if you wanted). i'm just really sorry, and I hope you can forgive me, for making you worry or otherwise

i'm not sure what to do from here (i'm considering maybe moving main blogs to a clean slate eventually? this one will still be here i couldnt bear to get rid of it, i've just had it since i was 16 there's Baggage attached) but i'll be trying to ease my way back into relative normalcy before doing anything big ofc. in the meantime i will be vaguely floating around here again. see you around and thank you for your time..

#cryingcat.png #god i hope tumblr doesnt send out a stupid notifcation to all followers that i posted i dont know what the time limit for that is but augha #here i am tho either way #vent/#i have missed people the entire time it is very hard to describe how stupid and cowardly it feels knowing i Could come back at any time #but also being utterly paralysed and afraid to do so. like surely i could just suck it up and i Tried but i am so so mentally unwell #i need to work on how fucked up my freeze/flight response to stress is really bad it ruins my life but i am still too unemployd for therapy #so my broke ass just has to deal with unpacking my own shit for 2 months/j #anyway the point is even tho i am getting better somewhat irl ive still been struggling to pluck up the courage to come back online #but i can't keep it up forever and completely shut down just bc it makes my anxiety superficially feel 'safer'#so here i am. feeling slightly less full of dread. bc i at very least owe it to everyone to let you all know im not dead or something idk #and i also owe it to myself to not be miserable on purpose forever!!#now i just have to get everything unmuted and wait for this to post see you on the other side

sorry ik posting conspicuous things abt how things are going instead of dming people back after a while of silence is sometimes considered a dick move i just. dissolves into wet pile

#i will sort this when my brain stops being a wet pile i pro #mmy

gods wettest saddest most pathetic creature wandering despairingly through long cold airport corridor to find exit after dropping off beloved friend and grappling with the realisation that this feeling is going to recur throughout the rest of their life forever and ever but maybe the incredible lifechanging love and companionship they have and will get to experience along with it makes it all worth it now and for the future. even if right now in this corridor it still hurts like a motherfucker

#i had a more serious version of ghis post but this is better i need to be funnie #IM OK I WILL BE OK. THIS IS IT THIS IS WHAT IT IS TO LOVE PEOPLE #ISNT IT SO SO COOL THAT I CAN LOVE PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND THEY LOVE ME TOO EVEN IF IT IS SAD SOMETIMES #THE JOY OF GETTING TO SHARE BITS OF MY LIFE WITH PEOPLE LIKE THIS EVEN MOMENTARILY IS WORTH ANY DESPAIR TENFOLD!!!#I STILL NEED A MINUTE THOUGH I AM YET TO ADVANCE PAST THE ERUPTING INTO TEARS AT RANDOM INTERVALS STAGE. GIVE ME A MINUTE #(i left the corridorlike 5 hours ago some details may be embellished for dramatic effect)#like yes this will happen again with many different people probably i have a lot of life left to live. but isnt that fantastic #i need a fucking job so i can roadtrip next time i get to travel maybe ill speedrun this shit with more of yall/J/J #i am going.to bed tho i will feel better tomorrow #im feeling weirdly inspired to reach out more and fix my crumbling online social life before its a wreck but I am a crumbling wreck rn #who has been up since 8 #and needs a goddamn nap

wgat the hell…. Birthday beast

#the year i started getting ‘youre old now’ cards from siblings finally dfjgsHj

on a lighter note look at this idiot

#went downstairs for a glass of water at like 1am the other day and found them like this. the speed at which i ran back up to grab anything #with a camera to catch the inevitable fall was insane #the face of a beast with regrets #giant african land snail #snailblr #bugblr #tags again. enjoy #snailposting

feeling normal (birthday in like 3 days that im not ready for) feeling normal (too artblocked and preoccupied to even think about finishing artfight and wrestling with guilt about it) feeling normal (-£600 in bank account) feeling normal (realised breaking my foot last year led to Lasting Consequences but cant see a physio abt my fucked up legs til january) feeling normal (has to learn to drive stick and the instructor is scary) feeling normal (stlil has no idea how to un-fuck social life after the great mental breakdown of april 2023) feeling normal (gross sobbing)

#'hows it going' yeah everything is happening so much its fine tho <2 #like im FINE im just. all over the goddamn place i need things to just settle down #i applied for a job thats like. actually the closest thing i can think of to my dream job. like. rare opportunity where i can suck up to th #employer as much as i want about the place having a huge impact on my life and mean every single word of it for real #(its at the bird park where i used to volunteer but this time doing flight displays animal training and education)#im slightly underqualified for it (no prior hands-on experience and no drivers license yet) so i might not even get the interview #so not getting my hopes up high yet #i can always volunteer there again on weekends while i work whatever retail gig will take me if i dont #but fuuuck it'd be nice. so so cool #'required qualifications: undergrad degree in fields related to animal behaviour' me rolling up with my shiny new Animal Behaviour BSc:#anyway. AUghrh #give things a few more weeks to shake out. ill be okay #having complicated feelings about one chapter of my life being over.. its a fucked up transitory period thats prolly gonna feel worse-#before it feels better #but ill settle into it soon especially once i get a job/my sister goes to college in september #....and i get the goddamn boxes out of my room so it feels more like a place i actually live again jgHJSDN #vent/#its not Really but close enough

been dead for a few days what the fuck happened with artfight

#EMBEZZLEMENT ??????#i mean i feel Slightly less bad about running out of steam spectacularly but what the fuck #im not in the discord i dont know things

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have you considered: biting you biting you biting y