beauty or chips

bill potts. i serve chips for a living.

[doctorwhogeneration]

[pottsandchips]

nutloaf:

“Possibly,” James said, pulling out his brainy specs and whipping them on just to look, well, brainy, “A) Resources - if they’ve depleted theirs or if Earth has something that they don’t have, perhaps even using humans and other lifeforms as a resource. B) Friends, after all we’re fairly busy looking out for other life. Three, no– D, no–” he paused, muttering numbers under his breath, before waving it off. “Real estate. We’re a nice, comfy distance from the sun, and they might want to build vacation homes here.”

Bill made a face -- somewhere between snickering and embarrassed when James pulled out his ‘brainy specs’. Dramatics, it seemed, really did seem to run in the family. She supposed that was part of their charm, really. That and the smarts -- Bill loved a good impromptu science lesson now and then. 

Still... “Vacation homes?” Bill was less than convinced, “Aren't holidays supposed to be relaxing?”

[pottsandchips]

exarchaeologist:

River paused for a moment thinking. “I agree that they’re certainly much more intelligent than we are. But I think the fact our world has gone to shit is likely the reason they’d be interested. How easy would we take a race willing to help?”

“Yeah,” she said, popping another chip in her mouth as she gave it some thought -- River did make a pretty good point. Not that Bill was surprised, she did that quite a lot. “Assuming they’re the helping sort. Still, I don’t know -- the United States is being run by a cheeto and people are generally concerned about their number or twitter followers than global warming -- we might be beyond their capabilities.”

[kitt66]

[100soft]

✨🍩✨ Now entering donut galaxy ✨🍩✨ #nationaldonutday | 100% Soft

[pottsandchips]

“Look, I’m just saying -- assuming aliens are intelligent and have technology beyond our abilities -- which let’s face it, is pretty likely,” she paused, just long enough to pop a chip into her mouth and chew it thoughtfully. “What would they want with our planet? No really, think about it -- they’ve seen our news, right? They know everything’s gone to shit. So like -- what’s in it for them?”

[pottsandchips]

exarchaeologist:

“I’ll be honest I’ve always liked a man in a beard.”

“Oh, not me. Never really liked anyone with a beard,” Bill shrugged a bit awkwardly, “then again -- don’t see many bearded ladies these days, do you?”

[totinos]

GUYS WE MADE IT.

[pottsandchips]

fastesttempincoalhill:

Donna turned when she heard a familiar voice, breaking into an instant smile at the sight of her fellow partner-in-gossip. “Careful,” she said, laughing a little and shaking her head. “That totally adorable and ridiculously cool robot is …” she dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “Head over heels in love with Jack Harkness, or so I hear.” 

“Still,” she sighed. “I don’t suppose you’ve seen the teacher himself? I hope he hasn’t been sneaking off to the canteen to sneak chips with Rose, because I will wring his skinny neck – if Idris doesn’t get there first.”

Bill grinned, just barely containing her giggles. “’Course it is,” she said with a shake of her head. Leave it to Jack to imprint himself on a robot -- what with the charm, and the looks (even Bill could admit he had both in spades). What she wouldn’t give for just a smidge of that power. Like enough to attract one girl. Just one. 

“Just left Rose,” she said, scratching the back of her neck, “alone in the canteen.” She paused, thinking. “Though is a bit skinny, isn’t it? Might’ve missed him.”

[pottsandchips]

Text ✉ Bill

Donna: Only lowkey? 😜😊

Donna: She seems like your type, bit clever, probably gets into trouble because of it...

Donna: Though quite the control freak, I must say. If you can stand that sort of thing.

[ more thinking pause ]

Donna: Adrian? I would have thought that Jack would go for someone more exciting.

Donna: But you could be right. Might be an opposites attract thing. Adrian's all neat and organised, and Jack likes that sort of thing.

Donna: But boring! Do you think they go on dates and talk about organising pencils?

Bill: She is a bit, yeah -- hence /lowkey/. I'm my own boss, thanks.

Bill: She is clever though, yeah. Like a bit of clever. Especially if it stirs a bit of trouble.

[ a beat ]

Bill: Is it even a date if you're sat around organising?

Bill: Sad, really.

[ another beat ]

Bill: Instead of love notes, he leaves him maths equations.

[pottsandchips]

Text ✉ Bill

Donna: So ...

Donna: I'm thinking that the good Captain's got his eye on someone.

Donna: Want to bet on who it is? We could start a pool.

[pause]

Donna: I'm putting my money on Clara.

Bill: Do you think?

Bill: Can't say I'd blame him.

Bill: I think I lowkey fancy her myself.

Bill: In a way though, doesn't that seem too easy?

[ a drawn out thinking pause ]

Bill: My money's on Adrian.

[pottsandchips]

What kind of a planet does an alien pizza live on???

Trick question, Professor. See, the pizza’s not the alien – that’s just… well… pizza. The alien’s in the spaceship, it just needs a bit of a nibble is all. Knicked a slice with its tractor beam thingy. I mean… that’s what I would if I had a spaceship. 

[pottsandchips]

firstnamethe:

Bill… That… Well, alright, I give you that, but still! Why can’t pizza be from a different planet? Don’t be a pizza isolationist. If you had a spaceship and all its wonders it could do in the universe you’d only use it to pick up pizza from your own planet? Bill…

Think bigger.

Because pizza was invented in Italy. 

Well no… I mean.. Probably take some for the trip though. Might get hungry. Spaceship looked small, yeah? Doubt it’s got a kitchen. Or toilets. If it’s between kitchen and toilets, I pick toilets every time. 

Fine. New plan. We take a pizza from earth, yeah? Use it as a taste tester against any other forms of pizza we might find. Pizza of the universe. Now that could be a documentary on Netflix.

[pottsandchips]

fastesttempincoalhill:

“Alright,” Donna said, stepping hurriedly into the staff room and scanning it. “Has any one seen the long skinny streak of nothing? Because he’s missing, and Idris wants me to either find him or take his class and he hasn’t given me a lesson plan… and get this – he’s left a robot in the classroom wearing his coat. He seems to think that no one’s going to notice the difference!”

Really, that was just typical James, wasn’t it? 

“And the robot doesn’t even speak - well, it speaks emoji!”

Bill looked around the faculty lounge, eyes a bit wider than they ought to be (she really needed to work on controlling her facial expressions), only half listening to what Donna had to say. Not because she was a shit listener – she liked Donna, they were mates and all – but because somehow, totally by accident, she’d wound up in the staff room. Was she even allowed in the staff room? Well, she guessed she was technically a staff member – but there’s a difference, isn’t there? Between the educators and the… chip dispensers.

Still, she was listening well enough for her ears to perk up at the mention of the words ‘robot’ and ‘emoji’.

“Yeah! I saw that – cute as –” she paused, finally taking in her friend’s overall demeanour – “Pfft. Can you believe that? Like nobody’s going to notice that.” Who wouldn’t notice a totally adorable and ridiculously cool robot disguised as their teacher?

[pottsandchips]

What kind of a planet does an alien pizza live on???

Trick question, Professor. See, the pizza’s not the alien – that’s just… well… pizza. The alien’s in the spaceship, it just needs a bit of a nibble is all. Knicked a slice with its tractor beam thingy. I mean… that’s what I would if I had a spaceship. 

[jasmineecholsart]

my kind of alien

[pottsandchips]

justsaygeronimo:

“Made what?” John asked, though before he even turned around, he was pretty sure that whatever she was talking about was something that his brother made. A wide grin stretched across his face when he spotted the emoji robot. “It is awesome, isn’t it? The work of my brother, that is. Brilliant. You know, he used some of my supplies for that.” 

“Shut up!” Bill laughed, shoving his arm with a bit more enthusiasm than was strictly necessary. But she could hardly help herself, could she? It was a bloody robot -- right there, in front of her, in the halls of Coal Hill, and it -- “Oh. My. God -- did it just... emoji?!” Brilliant, yeah. More than that. Was there a word for more than brilliant? “How’s it do that? Can you build robots too? Is that like a... family trait or something?”

[pottsandchips]

------ “Wait, hang on,” Bill stared at the emoji-bot with wide eyes and a growing smile, “you’re saying someone here made that?” She let out a sound that was half laughter half amazement. Because.... because It was amazing. “That’s --” she shook her head, both hands gesturing towards the robot -- “awesome!”