misery loves company || tasm roleswap au (rewrite)
ao3 | old version
summary: the one where peter searches for a way to exact vengeance following the death of his uncle. unfortunately there are always consequences to such drastic actions.
word count: 2,066
While Peter crumples against the floor, his body convulsing as agonized screams tear his vocal chords apart, he wonders how he even got to this point.
He can recall, through the broken shards of his collapsing mind, that he had only resorted to this because he wanted something. No, he had needed something. What he desired was a necessity, even through the crippling pain that was clear to him. Revenge, he thinks numbly, clawing at the floor like a wounded animal. He knows that much, he had done this for a reason and that reason was because he needed revenge.
The pieces of his mind start to reassemble, though his body feels like it's still being stung by a dozen fire ants. A sharp buzzing makes its way through his entire body, causing him to violently shudder. There's a metallic taste in his mouth and he hacks up a mouthful of blood and saliva. His vision is blurred, hazy, his head throbs and feels as if he's just been hit with a truck. He feels as though he's dying. Yet his body, even though it's been torn apart from within, doesn't give in.
Revenge. Peter grasps that one coherent thought by the strings before he can lose it, so he doesn't lose himself to the pain instead. He knows why now, in the haze of all the burning he'd almost forgotten. Uncle Ben. Peter wonders if his Uncle had felt much pain when he had died, had he felt his life ebbing away like this? Peter wasn't sure if he was dying or not, but he suspects this is as close to what it feels like as it can get.
His Uncle had been shot dead by a petty criminal five months earlier. And Peter had been too weak and feeble to do anything about it. During those months since, he'd withdrawn from society, from everything. There had been something growing within him since that fateful night when his Uncle was murdered in cold blood. Something twisted, bitter, something ugly. It was that same thing that had driven him to this point.
Oscorp. Spiders. Spider-Man. He remembers asking the new vigilante for help in his search for his Uncle's killer. But Spider-Man, ever noble, had refused him that. Spouting some bullshit about how it was far too dangerous for someone like himself - scrawny, weak - to put himself in harm's way. So Peter had snapped at him in anger, vowing that he'd find a way to do it himself. Which led him here.
He gasps for breath, the burning restricts his airways, like a pair of hands gripping his neck tight and refusing to let him go. But the fire is less warm now, no, it's ice cold. He isn't sure which is worse, but it hurts just as much and all he wishes is for it to stop. Black spots dance in the corners of his fogged vision, he squeezes his eyes shut, his body convulses as another wave of nauseating pain washes over him.
At this moment, he regrets his choice. As desperate for revenge as he is, part of him thinks the pain isn't worth it. The spiders were dangerous, the experiment unstable. They had given Spider-Man his abilities, ones that Peter could only ever dream of having. But perhaps he's simply too weak to handle the process of change, maybe he'll die, never really achieving anything but a stupidly long death. He wishes he'd never come here, he wishes he'd never stuck that syringe in his arm.
He's dying. It's agony. He hates it. He thinks about Aunt May, she'll have to relive the rawness of grief all over again when they find his body, she'll end up alone with nobody to help her. He thinks about Harry Osborn, his best friend - the boy he loves but is too much of a coward to confess - who had only just returned from Europe. Their friendship, which had withstood the test of distance and time for years, was miraculously intact. It had been as if they had never been parted in the first place.
He doesn't want to die.
Maybe he won't die. But there are fates far worse than death. It's hard to think now, but he has a rather startling thought about ending up like Doctor Connors, though as a spider mutant, rather than a mutant lizard. But Connors' mistake hadn't been his own, not entirely. Peter had helped develop that formula for him. He had given him his downfall on a silver platter.
And now, he's given himself that very same platter.
The fire burns, both warm and cold now. Peter feels numb, the pain doesn't bother him. He isn't even sure if it has completely subsided yet, but he feels lighter. A lot more than he had been earlier. How long has he been here writhing on the floor, screaming himself hoarse? With a trembling hand he starts to push himself up. He fails once and he falls back down, his jaw hitting the floor with a slight crack. It doesn't hurt as much as it should have. The thought should've bothered him, but Peter can't bring himself to care.
Finally, he manages to drag himself to one of the desks. There, he uses all the strength he can muster in order to pry himself up. He puts all of his weight on the sleek, metal table, staggering to his feet. He wavers, his movements sluggish, slow and unsteady but he finds his balance soon after. He feels charred and raw, his mind scattered and his thoughts still scattered. He isn't sure what to think.
But despite all odds, the immense physical and mental torture he'd just endured, he's alive.
His chest heaves with the effort to breathe, the remnants of suffocation still linger, but it's easier to deal with now. His vision clears and briefly his gaze catches the empty syringe on the table, a single droplet of green liquid drips onto the table and dissolves. Peter watches that spot for a moment, unmoving, his expression completely blank. When he turns away, he finds himself staring instead at his own reflection in a broken circular mirror on the desk, which apparently he must have knocked over at some point.
The longer he stares at himself, he realizes that something isn't quite right with him
His brown hair had always been an utter mess, but it was even more disheveled than usual, and that was saying a lot. But that wasn't the thing that had a creeping feeling growing in his gut, no. It was the fact that his skin is far paler, just as sickly looking as the rest of him. That alongside the hollow bags underneath his eyes make him appear even more like a walking corpse. His ears are slightly pointed, barely noticeable, but the change stands out to him. His irises, which had always been a delicate brown, are flecked almost completely with green that give them an unnatural glow. His veins, which he only now notices, are also green - though much darker, trailing up from his neck and onto his cheek.
Absent-mindedly, he lifts a shaking hand to feel the strange face in the mirror. His eyes catch how unnaturally sharp his fingernails have become, how dark veins now stand out against the once healthy looking skin on his wrists. What had he become?
Better. His mind supplies. It feels eerily like that same thing from within that had been festering for months. So much better.
His mind feels horribly broken, there's damage done that Peter knows he can't fix so easily. But he doesn't know the extent of it. He only knows that his thoughts are becoming less scattered, but more frenzied. He's filled with adrenaline now, his body burns, but this time it isn't in pain. Oh, what had he become?
He grits his teeth. His canines are sharper too. He lowers his head, brown curls brush against his eyes. His expression twists as his head races with thoughts, memories. Something screams and screams in the back of his mind, something that he can't quite make out. It grew louder and louder, whispering unintelligible demands.
A breathless sound escapes Peter's lips. Then another, and another until he finds his chest heaving with uncontrollable, breathless laughter. He leans against the table as his knees almost buckle beneath him, keeping himself upright. Still, he laughs. Part of him doesn't understand why, but he does it anyway. There's something so amusing about the whole situation to him, but he doesn't get the punchline. Only a sense of cruel irony.
After a few more seconds of laughter, now bordering on hysteria, a strangled noise catches in his throat. A choked sob. The crazed smile that had been painted onto his features becomes mangled, appearing more like a grimace. There's a hollow feeling in his gut, but something else within his mind, they clash together and it makes his head hurt even more.
He's different, he knows that much. Something feels wrong. But if he knows that, then why doesn't it bother him as much as it should?
He doesn't have time to dwell on much when piercing alarms fill his ears. Flashing red lights blare around him and he looks around in a panic. There's only him and the only exit, which was now blocked by steel shutters. He spins on his heel and his gaze locks onto the display in front of him. Behind a layer of protective glass, lies his escape. A hoverboard, coated in a shiny black shell, that seems to be tinted with green. It's no ordinary hoverboard, more like a specialized glider, and it's his only shot at escaping without being caught.
Without hesitation, he forces a fist through the glass - which, either isn't as reinforced as he assumed it to be, or something worked. He registers faint footsteps thundering towards the room, despite the distance. Eyes gleaming, Peter takes the glider and activates it before stepping onto it, he wavers slightly, but quickly manages to find his balance. Just like skating. He thinks idly, slowly rising from the floor.
Peter's head swivels round just as some members of security enter the room, shouting and yelling unintelligibly. Before they can even see him, he's already gone, breaking through the skylight and gliding through the sky. He shakes some glass from his hair and focuses on keeping his feet planted firmly on the glider, as well as getting as far away from Oscorp as possible. No doubt they'd be sending out search parties for the mysterious thief who had stolen a prototype glider.
Prototype. He can work with this. Maybe even make it better.
He adjusts to steering fairly easily. Leaning his body in each direction to test out the flow. But he doesn't want to test his luck, god knows he's been unlucky enough as it is lately, so he sets the glider down on a rooftop far from Oscorp and in the cover of multiple skyscrapers. Peter watches the city from above, he's never really seen his home from this angle before. He expects it to feel invigorating, to give him a new perspective on things. But as he looks down on it now he feels no semblance of such a thing. Instead, something twists in his gut.
Displeasure. He hates it. The city had never done anything good for him, one of its people had taken his Uncle's life. People aren't good, a voice in the back of his mind whispers. Peter agrees. He and his poor Aunt May had been left to suffer because people didn't care about others less fortunate, like them. Anger burns through him at the thought, as bright as the fire that had left him charred within earlier.
Misery. He thinks, his gaze still lingers on the less than thrilling view of New York below. This place brought him nothing but misery.
Well, something curls in Peter's stomach, that same dark feeling resurfaces again. Once hollow brown eyes now gleam with something akin to mania within a haunting green glow. He flexes his fingers, once, twice and his lips pull back into a chilling grin. The whispers in the back of his mind chant in a chorus and this time, just this once, Peter understands them.
Why doesn't he give a little misery back in return?
