[takethemonetandletsgogh]

Czesław Miłosz, “Notes”

[greenveil]

[forgottenflickr]

2013-2014

[sacred-portal]

[prairiewounds]

[prairiewounds]

simultaneously exhausted but restless and anxious ig it could also be the caffeine actually Yeah thats what it is. want to rest want to do so many things all the time all i do is clean or sleep or work or jerk off i feel so spiritually desolate most of the time ngl but also fear that turning back to the offices/prayer would only be me using religion as a technology for spiritual health or that i will latch on to it obsessively again and it will compound the shame i carry blerh

[prairiewounds]

vyvanse is my superpower bc ive housewived so hard today:

- cleaned out all almost empty/empty jars in fridge and put them in dish washer

- threw out all rotten food in fridge in the compost, put plastic in garb

- scrubbed stovetop and sink and cleaned sink trap

- made fruit fly traps by hammering holes into mason jar lids then filling with red wine vinegar and dish soap

- scrubbed toilet, bathroom sink and tub

- vaccuumed in bathroom, vacuumed the back stairway which had a dirt spill for like weeks

but its also my enemy bc i feel like i cant rest ever and combined with my OCD it feels like i could go forever and things would never really be as clean as i need them to feel good. hygiene/cleaning ocd with adhd is also really funny because it doesnt mean im a neat freak like my room is a fucking mess. it just means i will spend an hour scrubbing down one cabinet then acidentally leave dishes in the sink for 4 days. it also means im seen as kind of messy but am the only one who will actually spend a day doing a deep clean of a space. i feel like if i didnt wed just be living in grime

[prairiewounds]

i think having steak with my vyvanse boosted it byime 10 jesus

[prairiewounds]

babys first steak it looks like a penis and i almost set the kitchen on fire because our stove is broken

[prairiewounds]

listening to the local acadian radio station every weekend morning when im off work and ive actually been getting my fluency back this way :)

[kxowledge]

Women in Restoration by Isabella De Maddalena

[woodenrosary]

Going to the monastery for the summer with no phone access would probably heal me

[shock]

[vivianveil]

[malleverte]

[wilcze-lyko]

[rangerearlmcgraw]

The Paschal Troparian, Appalachian melody.