I see you.
── .✦ fem!Metkayina reader x Lo’ak ‼
⤷ Synopsis: In which A’nya, the troubled daughter of the Metkayina Olo’eyktan and Tsahìk, slowly starts taking an interest in the youngest Sully son, their personalities clashing and forming an unexpected bond.
⤷ A/n: First fic kinda nervous😅!! I gave reader a name because i hate writing “y/n” but feel free to imagine a preferred name!! Lo’ak is NOT aged up and reader is the same age as him. This also follows ATWOW storyline and some (a lot) of the dialogue is used!!
—————————————————————
°‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡
── ᯓ★ You sat on the very edge of your family marui, feet in the water, watching as the teal colour of your skin blended with the serene blue of the ocean. Your eyes followed the fish and other sea life that swam by, sharp blue lenses locked onto the creatures. The wind was a soft breeze, pushing a couple locks of your springy hair back, your eyes fluttering at the sensation, ears flat against your head, tail flat against the woven material of your marui, swaying from time to time.
It had been a year since your best eylan passed. She had fallen sick, terribly so, not even your mother, who was tsahík, could heal her. And so, most days were spent as such, rarely going out, isolating yourself, because you could not pretend to feel something you didn’t.
Your parents tried, so did your siblings, but grief does not disappear easy with you. You spent every eclipse connecting to the tree of souls, visiting her along with your ancestors. And when you were sucked back into reality, and forced to go back home, you’d situate yourself on your sleeping mat, face pressed into your hands as you begged and pleaded for Eywa to, by some miracle, bring her back. But she did not. Every futile attempt felt more hopeless than the last, and your txe'lan broke more at every unanswered prayer.
It seemed to have gotten worse every passing day, you could not remember the last time you had sat and ate with everyone, or the last time you had spent time with other companions. You were alone. Not be because you did not have anyone, but because you felt as though nobody understood you- truly. And that was a burden you looked in the face everyday, its weight slowly wearing you down.
You missed your eylan, she was kalin. It meant “sweet”, it fit her well, because she was. She was a soul blessed personally by The Great Mother herself, a person filled with nothing but purity and sincerity. But she was gone now, and you weren’t so sure of how you would move on.
——————————————
The arrival of the sully’s was one that was unexpected, a half demon man with half demon children, seeking uturu for his family. It wasn’t long before they had settled, whilst your siblings mingled with their children, teaching them the ways of water, you spent your time by yourself, as usual. The arrival of the newcomers did not bother you, their presence did not bring Kalin back, therefore they did not matter to you. You barely knew them and they barely knew you, they were tsireya’s friends more than your own, you held no interest in getting to know them.
You opened your eyes, bringing a hand up to remove your kuru from one of the strands that connected to the tree of souls. You had met with Kalin, as you did everyday. If only she was really here.
You swam back up to the surface, the twinkling bioluminescence of the sea life below you helping you find your way to a nearby rock. Eclipse was not yet over, hence why it was still dim out. You perched yourself on the rock, the cold, hard textured surface slightly digging into the bluish-green colour of your legs. You adjusted your tewng before letting out a breath. You were doing it again, zoning out thinking about her, but you couldn’t help it, she stalked your mind, the memory of her etched into every corner of your body.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of splashing water, the cold droplets hitting your skin, making you look up and flinch a bit. You thought it was someone being rude and purposefully splashing you with water, maybe ao’nung or one of his skxawng friends.
But you were wrong. it was the youngest Sully boy. “Do you mind?” You slightly furrowed your eyebrows, wiping your face off as he climbed atop the rock, “sorry.” he muttered, shaking his head to get some of the water out of his braids, you give him a look as more water got on you, “…sorry.” he repeats.
He situates himself next to you, but you don’t say anything, you had nothing to say to the boy, you did not know him. “You’re Tsireya’s sister, right?” He suddenly speaks up, to which you turn your head a fraction to look at him, his bioluminescent dots blinking at you. “Yes.” Is all you reply with, going back to staring at the rocky surface that lay beneath you.
It was silence again, you could tell he was deciding whether to say something or not, he had his eyebrows slightly furrowed and his tail was swaying side to side gently behind him. “You are…?” You mumble, not lifting your head to look at him. “Lo'ak.” He replies, his head turned to face you. “A'nya.” You say, your voice low and devoid of much emotion.
He nods, “right” he says more to himself than to you, “cool.” He adds. A beat of silence again. The surroundings started to brighten, signalling that eclipse was coming to an end, you stand, clicking and calling for your Ilu, “syulang” you call, once, voice soft and gentle and she comes, her soft pink patterns coming to view as she emerges from the water. “It was nice meeting you, lo’ak.” You mutter before climbing atop the animal, patting your Ilu’s side softly before submerging into the water.
You kept thinking about the interaction the entire ride home. It was odd, yet a little comforting. It had been long since anyone that wasn’t your family had willingly approached you. He didn’t press, didn’t force you to speak during those moments of silence, just sat and waited. This was strange- he was strange.
You weren’t sure if he saw that small interaction as an opening, or an invitation to be your eylan, because he started approaching you more frequently since that day. His ways of doing so varied, sometimes he would come to your marui when you were alone, sit and try to make small talk with you, to which you answered his never ending questions with short, simple answers, or, he’d greet you if he saw you heading toward the tree of souls. But it was nice. He was nice.
Until,
“Do you have any friends?” He asked one night, the both of you sat on the sand, watching as the waves came and left, leaving behind small sea creatures and other trinkets of the ocean. You went quiet, you always were quiet, but this was different. It was an unusual quiet, one that shifted the air around the two of you, into something more solemn and a little depressing. “Many” you said, clearing your throat and sitting up a little straighter. But you couldn’t keep up the façade, pretending was never your strong suit.
Your shoulders slumped a bit. You didn’t particularly enjoy talking about your deceased friend, but he sensed it. You knew he did. You let out a breath, shifting your position on the sand, as if physically bracing yourself for the conversation ahead.
“Kalin.” You spoke, tone quiet and filled with hurt at just the mention of her name. “She was my best eylan, since young.” You continued, then paused. You could feel it, the familiar sense of dread, the ache that always settled just beneath your ribs when it came to speaking about her. “She…she fell very ill last year.” You mumbled, your ears flat against your skull as you lowered your head, light blue lenses glued to the sand.
He listened, was patient and let you speak at your own pace. His eyes were stuck onto you, his expression one of slight concern, worrying for the wellbeing of his new eylan. “She could not be healed. The Great Mother decided it was her time.” You whisper, if the words were uttered any louder it would physically pain you. A stray tear rolls down the expanse of your cheek, travelling down the teal skin before falling and hitting the sand,
“I’m sorry, a'nya.” He says, voice like silk, gentler than ever, his tone held genuine understand, genuine remorse, as if he’d killed her himself, “do not.” You shake your head, wiping the remains of the flicker of emotion that slipped from your eye. “It is nothing short of maintaining the balance. She rests easy now with the souls of our ancestors.”
He nods along, but speaks up again, “i'm here,” he says, shifting a little closer to you, “i know i can’t replace her.” He utters. You finally lift your head, turning it to face him, “nobody can” you mutter, he nods in agreement, “of course not. But, if you'll let me, i want to help you.” He speaks, flaxen orbs locked onto your indigo ones, “by being your friend?” He suggests, eyes a little pleading.
You tilt your head, your expression deepening, “i will only burden you with my problems. Which you don’t deserve.” You whisper, and his eyebrows furrow.
“you’re not a burden.”
“i am.”
“not.”
You stare at him for a while longer before releasing a breath and turning your head away, “you don’t even know me.”, to which he says, “i know enough.” You both pause, then he speaks again, “Look, grieving your friend doesn’t make you a burden.” He starts, eyes glued to you despite you being almost fully turned away from him, closed off, shoulders slightly hunched, “that’s normal, but this isn’t.”
You don’t move, don’t say anything for a while, just shake your head once, “i know what i know.” You finally manage to say. He frowns a little, but alas he is persistent in breaking down the walls of the olo’eyktan’s youngest daughter, “you can’t enjoy being lonely. I know that.” He says, “please?” He tilts his head a fraction, that begging tone making a return.
You turn to him, cyan orbs scanning his face, the sincerity of it, the drop of pleading, it was hard to deny anyone that looked at you that way, so with a deep breath, you spoke, “fine then.”
——————————
“I met a boy.”
“Is he sayrìp?”
You scoff.
“Is he?”
You turn to face her, eyebrows slightly furrowed, “he’s just my eylan, skxawng.” You both let out small fits of laughter, the sound getting caught in the gentle breeze of the day, ricocheting off the coffee coloured woven walls of your marui.
The sea before you two glistened from the suns reflection, the large body of water a twinkling kaleidoscope of soft blues and bright cyans.
The laughter had died down, slowly, and you spoke again, “he’s a forest boy. His family sought uturu from us.” You started, “he is kind. Very. But he does not compare to you, Kalin.” You turn your head to face her, warm smile gracing your face, one that held equal parts adoration and sorrow.
She returned the smile, her fangs baring just a little, but it wasn’t intimidating or fearsome, it was beautiful, a reminder of the soul that had been lost, “don’t compare others to me A'nya. If he is nice, he is nice.” She says, voice slightly stern, but laced with playfullness, “enjoy your time with him.” She adds.
It goes silent for a while after that, Kalin looked straight ahead, indigo eyes scanning the sea that rests before the pair of you, but your head was still turned, you were staring at her, eyebrows slightly furrowed, a small almost unnoticeable frown tugging on your lips, “i miss you.” You murmur, and she turns her head towards you.
Her hand finds its way to yours, holding it tightly, and you hold it tightly too, the thought of letting go seeming impossible now, “it is lonely without you, tsmuke.” You add, voice low with hurt. “I’m still with you, A'nya.” She reassures, her free hand coming up to tap your chest, “here, always.” She tilts her head slightly.
You nod, once. “I must go. I will be back soon.” You say, hand leaving hers, the loss of warmth making your heart ache.
You’re pulled back into reality swiftly, the warmth that had spread throughout your body had long been gone. You’re eyes flutter open and you take a moment before removing your kuru from one of the many holy strands connected to the tree of souls.
The emptiness that consumed you after visiting her day after day, was something that no words could describe. It was bittersweet, seeing her, knowing that she was still with you, if not physically, but the dull ache that came afterwards, knowing that it was all memories, and that she was not really with you, stung. the weight of it was something you had no knowledge in getting rid of.
—————————————
You’re not sure when, or how, but slowly- very slowly, you started finding comfort in Lo'ak’s presence.
When things got bad, you searched for him, pouring your heart out to him more times than you could count. He’d seen you cry more times than you’d could count.
And things started to get easier.
You smiled more, laughed more, started coming out of your shell more. And when Lo'ak had met and bonded with Payakan, he’d take you with him to swim with his tulkun tsmukan sometimes. Kalin still lingered in the back of your mind, but when you thought about her you didn’t feel dejected, but rather content, knowing that if she saw you now, happier, more alive, she’d be glad, proud.
But of course good things did not come easy for you.
You had come back from swimming with Lo'ak and his tirea tsmukan, a small steady smile rest on your lips as you thought of your earlier activities.
Until you were swept up by your parents and his. They had found out about Lo'ak’s bond with the outcast Tulkun, and your father had spent more time than necessary scolding you, him and your siblings, reciting the stories of the Tulkun Way.
You walked with him later that evening, after both your fathers had reprimanded him. He lacked the usual confidence in his step, he looked defeated, torn and clonficted, your fathers words and his fathers earlier berating clearly weighing heavy on his mind.
“The storm will pass.” You reassured, voice soft and steady. When he stayed silent, walking slightly ahead of you, you sped up your pace a little, speaking again, “Lo'ak.” You started, “i saw something today.” And he stopped, turned fully to look at you.
The sun was setting, and everything was starting to dim, his and your bioluminescent freckles scintillating at each other, almost in sync, miniscule dots illuminating the soft cyan of your skin and the contrasting sharp blue of his as everything around the two of you started to darken, The usual bright canary colour of his eyes was faint now, turning into a softer honey-like hue of yellow.
His expression was one of deep sorrow, his eyebrows downturned, matching his ears that were flat against his skull, “i saw a forest boy chosen by Tulkun.” You stood before him, comforting him instead of the other way round, “i am very proud of you.”
And then the air shifted. More intimate, more deep. You knew he felt it too. He had that look on his face, that slight yearning look that always graced his Omatikaya features whenever you said something remotely sweet.
“Payakan didn’t kill those boys.” He shook his head, tone filled with defeat, “i saw it all. It was the demon ships that did.” You listened, and believed him. A sigh leaves your lips, you grab onto his hand and try to pull him back, “we must tell my father.” But he doesn’t budge, shakes his head again, “No, no i’m in enough trouble with my dad already.”
You let out a sigh, pity filling your entire body, remorse etched into every corner of your expression, “your father will understand.” You try, to which he denies again.
“No, he wont, he doesn’t understand anything,” he starts, frustration seeping into his tone, “the whole clan hates me, alien, demon blood, thats all they see.”
You could have sworn the frown that cursed your features would have been permanent. After everything he had done to protect your wellbeing, hearing him talk down on himself was not easy. You grab his hand once more, grip tight with reassurance and solace, you took a breath before speaking, the words you have wanted to say for a while teetering on the tip of your tongue.
“I see you.”
You utter, voice uncharacteristically velvety, filled with consolation, “you are Brother Of Tulkun.” You added, your grip on his hand tightening a fraction, as if to emphasise your words, “You are one of us now.”
You watch as his expression morphs into something more vulnerable than before, his eyes slightly widen, cheeks a little flushed, maybe from the heat but who knows. His frown disperses, replaced by a small smile, baring his teeth just a little.
You meant it. All three of those stupidly sincere and beautiful words, you meant it all. What had started as a meaningless friendship had turned into something more, something unexpected but graceful, beauteous and filled with honesty and purity. And you’re glad it did, glad it turned out this way, because oh Eywa you don’t know what you would have done without the unconditional sustenance of Lo'ak te Suli Tsyeyk'itan.
———————————————
“Do you remember the boy i told you about before?”
“Your Eylan?”
You nod.
“So… is he sayríp?”
“Very.”
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.
Translation for the na’vi words:
Marui: metkayina hut/ homes
Eylan: friend
Tsmuke: sister
Tsmukan: brother
Tirea tsmukan: spirit brother
Skxawng: moron/ idiot
Tweng: loincloth
txe'lan: heart
Sayríp: handsome
(Sorryy if i missed anyy!!)
⤷ A/n: THE END! I hope yall enjoyed this hehe. Im not sure if the ending was very good but this was only supposed to be a short (long) story so😅!
