look what you made me do

i'm portia. portia ratigan, you've no doubt heard of my father, professor padraic ratigan? well, unfortunately for him, he's still back on that miserable plot of land while i take advantage of the posh life here in auradon. oh, and study at the university, but who's got time for that when there's so much to do?

[pratigan]

text ✉✘porj

CJ: Exactly. I hate validating their entitlement even a little bit, it boils my blood to think that there could be a man out there who ever considers me beneath him. Which is part of why I always try to top, to make a sort of metaphoric point. And that's fair - holidays are a great background for mischief. What we did on Christmas was amazing! A one night stand is a pretty okay use of time, too. I hope you find someone not gross.

Portia: It's honestly a little more fun on top anyway. They like to think they know what they're doing, but unless I'm on top, I've never had a man actually satisfy completely. Oh, were you behind some of the Christmas shenanigans? I heard there was a lot of things going on, some of the dorms even got t.p.'d. I thought that was something only junior high students did.

[pratigan]

TEXT ✉️⁇ PEO

Theo: you wanana hsare our hoseus mom? sej'slit fo ran old lady. friendship over? ebterer not be, that woudl be dso disappointing.

Portia: I think I turned out just fine without one thank you. It would be disappointing, glad we're on the same page. How much of that rose do you have left? Need another bottle or two?

[pratigan]

TEXT ✉️$ PINN

Finn: Lol unless you're into dad drama? Mine keeps trying to use coconut oil instead of canola oil to be trendy but like, that stuff's 80% saturated fat, it's not good!

Portia: Darling, I wrote the book on daddy issues. And that? Non issue. Just let him and don't eat what he makes, easy. I swear, I should start charging people for solving their problems.

[pratigan]

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Waldo: nah. people want to find out whenever it is that theyee ready, i'm not one to ever push it onto someone. that's part of what maksz it special.

Portia: If you say so, love. You'll just have to keep enjoying it enough for the both of us, then. I'll drink an extra glass of wine for you, too.

[pratigan]

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Waldo: dont be. persuasins is pressure, and u should open urself up to the miracle palnt if and onfly if you feel comfortable with it. its specia.

Portia: Persuasion, if done right, can be a very valuable asset. And something that you might want to work on if you want others to see how special it is.

[pratigan]

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CJ: Uh yeah, I'm sure he could, and then I'd have to bite his dick off and the small amount of trust I've built around here with the Auradonians that lets me off the hook with stuff easier will vanish. Plus I hate sucking regular dick, much less old man dick. I can get as rich as any of them, I don't need an old-ass-dusty-gross sugar daddy. I'll leave the geezers to you. And ugh, maybe. I'd prefer to stay away from the grossness that day but who knows, I haven't asked my partner in crime yet. Are you going?

Portia: Well, I'll admit it's not the most glamorous thing in life. Especially not when men think they're entitled to being pleasured in such a way every single time we agree to engage in sexual acts with them. Grossness is a good distraction though, and makes them oh so gullible. Who knows what kind of schemes and scandals the two of you could run. I might, if anything the day's good for a one night stand.

[pratigan]

TEXT ✉️⁇ PEO

Theo: i enver had a mom to get durnk with soooo it's ntot so bad. but y eah, hot girls are awaeosme too. net time you wanana drink with em?

Portia: You say that as though I have. Took you long enough to invite me love. I was almost worried that our friendship was over.

[pratigan]

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Waldo: thanks thatsa ehat I go for :)

Waldo: im always high but im REALLY high rn lol. uve never done it? wild! have u ever wanted to?

Portia: The opportunity never presented itself I guess? It's not a matter of wanting to, it's really just a matter of not thinking about it.

[pratigan]

text || rutia#🌻🐁

Rue: Well of course.

Rue: Oh I'm definitely on my way, see you shortly.

Portia: 😘

[pratigan]

TEXT ✉️⁇ PEO

Theo: Poeple hwo don't appreciate the house mom are monsters Portia. You're nto a monster right? You're ntoo hot to be a mosnter.

Portia: I could be, who knows. The jury is still out on that. But I didn't shame her, just saying she's not a hot girl you could be hooking up with.

[pratigan]

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CJ: That would work fine for you, you're not a pirate! No old geezer would buy ME a boat no matter how much I sucked him off, I'm too "scary" :-P They just know that if I get a boat, they're all doomed, which is true, but still. And that sounds like a plan to me. The more outings, the better! I think my luck is on an up-swing :-P I managed to steal a motherlode from some guy the other day when me and Z went out all fancy.

Portia: I'm almost positive that's not true. He can't exactly say no while you're sucking him off can he? He'd be completely at your mercy. Oh, well look at you on a roll! And see, going out all fancy just tells me you could find a way to persuade an old geezer to buy you a boat. So then are you planning on going to whatever carnival or event they have for Valentine's? Probably a lot of people there you can con for a few bucks.

[pratigan]

TEXT ✉️$ PINN

Finn: Oh! Oops, sorry, this wasn't for you!

Finn: And it's not like... interesting tea. It's like, earl grey, and you're probably more interested in like a darjeeling level of news.

Portia: Well, boo. Make it sound less interesting sometime, darling. I was hoping that I'd stumbled upon something.

[pratigan]

TEXT ✉️$ PINN

Finn: I love him, but sometimes I really want to run him over repeatedly with a food truck.

Portia: Oh, hello, this sounds like some tea.

Portia: Please, do tell.

[pratigan]

text || rutia#🌻🐁

Rue: I mean, I'd be an idiot to turn you down if you were.

Portia: Oh, and feeding into my ego. You're quick.

Portia: So, are we just going to keep talking or are you going to come to my dorm?

[pratigan]

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CJ: Good, the only thing worse than people who can't match up are those who whine about it lol. And unfortunately for me, pirate ships aren't exactly commonplace around here. That's the kind of thing you need to order or build yourself and either way, you need cash. Once I have my starter ship, it'll be easier to commandeer a bigger, more beautiful one that I find out at sea, the pirate way. Until then? I'm having fun earning enough ;)

Portia: Sounds like a lot of work. I'd rather just schmooze up to some old geezer and make him think that if he buys me a big enough boat that I'll sleep with him. I'd probably have a fleet by now if I did that... I really should rethin my life now. Well, as long as your having fun, that's what matters isn't it? And if you're saving up, sounds like we should be going out a lot more often.

[pratigan]

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Waldo: thanks thatsa ehat I go for :)

Waldo: im always high but im REALLY high rn lol. uve never done it? wild! have u ever wanted to?

Portia: Now that's an interesting question. Nothing's ever made me want to, but I'm entirely open to persuasion.

[pratigan]

TEXT ✉️⁇ PEO

Theo: you'r enever really alone in a frat house. i pirred one out for the hosue maother when she came in here.

Portia: So drinking with your house mother. Not exactly better, love.