trust no one.

ind. sel. fandomless original character read rules & about before interaction

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like this for a starter!

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@venusiiian​ // cont.

‘ what the hell is a stiles ? ’ confusion isn’t something he’s unaccustomed to, so the level of alarm he’s feeling is relatively low ( but still present ). he takes in his surroundings cautiously, trying to recall the events of the night before--- with no luck. tequila was not his friend. ‘  not to change the subject or anything, but do you know where we are ?  ’

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‘ i don’t know. you might not be able to handle me and all of my alrightness. ’ he takes a moment to survey the area, eyes gleaming with mischief. ‘ are you free, say, now ?  you could buy me a coffee. ’

[perfectdespair-a]

{The Morning After}

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perfectdespair:

“ shit, I’m late for work ”

“ ugh, not you again ”

“ did I lose a bet last night? ”

“ I can’t believe I just did that ”

“ you cannot tell anyone about this ”

“ you cannot tell _____ about this ”

“ that was amazing ”

“ my name’s _____, by the way ”

“ where did you learn to do that? ”

“ well this will be an exciting diary entry ”

“ why are we outside? ”

“ I’m sorry I broke your bed ”

“ so… breakfast? ”

“ I think I need to shower for a year ”

“ we have to stop doing this ”

“ I really hope I’m/you’re not pregnant ”

“ I didn’t know you had a tattoo ”

“ wanna go again? ”

“ I ache all over ”

“ you might be the best I’ve ever had ”

“ that wasn’t what I planned ”

“ why is there glitter everywhere? ”

“ karaoke isn’t usually such a turn on for me ”

“ that was better than last time ”

“ does this mean we’re dating? ”

“ I’m so hungover ”

“ what did you say your name was? ”

“ I need a cigarette ”

“ are you sure that was alright? ”

“ I don’t cuddle ”

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open starter

  ‘ give me your coffee. ’

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@mademonstrosity // cont.

‘ alright ? i’ll have you know that my mother worked nine long months on all of this. ’ there’s an air of genuine offense following his answer, but it dissipates just as quickly as it appears, replaced with a smirk of his own. ‘ i take it asking for your number won’t get me very far ? ’

[rpstarterss]

A Little Too Drunk Starters:

“Oh, HELL no! Not in MY bed!”

"We watched some horror movie.. I think it’s called, ‘the Teletubbies..’?”

“Pants are just an illusion.”

“Shut the fuck up a pikachu onesie does so suit me.”

“Hey, man, I hate to tell you this, but I think your dog’s cheating on you..”

“Hey, the cat crashed your car.”

“I thought today was your birthday, so I rented a bouncy house, but then I remembered it isn’t, so now we have a bouncy house.”

“It’s not a mattress, it’s my kingdom and you are encroaching on it.”

“[NAME]’s a VIP at that one strip club….. What’s it called again… 'Golden Corral’?”

“I’m bleeding?!”

“I have to tell you a secret…”

“You think it’s important that I lost my shirt?! You think it’s important?! I’LL TELL YOU WHAT’S IMPORTANT!!! CALLIOU CAN’T FUCKIN’ TIE HIS SHOES!!!”

“I need at least seven sweet and sour sauces or I’m fucked.”

“I was pretending to be a ninja and the blade of the knife just flew right off and broke the window.”

“Look, man, I didn’t mean to pee on you.”

“Thanks for letting me room with you… By the way, vodka makes me gassy.”  

“You want to go to Taco Bell?”

“I lost [NAME]. Have you seen them?”

“Wow, you look so much better when I’m drunk. You should try it more often.”

“I CAN’T SLEEP WITHOUT A LULLABY!!”

“Hello, 911? Are you still awake?”

“Jesus told me to do it.”

“I’m really sorry I’m so creepy everybody…”

"This is awful. I am inventing electricity, and you look like an asshole.”

“How many nutrients do you think there are in dog biscuits? I already ate, like five.”

“HOLY SHIT HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET SO TALL? WHAT THE FUCK?”

“Hamsters have feelings, too..”

“Who convinced me to come here?”

“The dog looked so lonely.. So I took it home.”

“I’LL PROTECT YOU! I’M BATMAN!”

“Look at all this snow. Imagine if it was sand, but still cold. No wait, warm snow. Man, that’d be cool..”

“You’re not very hot, but maybe after another beer or two..”

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Quick Ref Sheet || Mun and Muse Edition

tagged by: no one, but i’m going to say @mademonstrosity bc that’s who i stole it from  rules: Tag 10 of your followers that you want to know better!

Muse:

Name: Anthony James Woodland Nickname: Tony, J Zodiac Sign: Leo Gender: Male Favourite Colour: Red Average Hours of Sleep: It ranges from 3 to 12 depending on whether he’s off work or not Last Thing You Googled: nearest starbucks Height:  6′3″

Mun:

Name: Adrien Nickname: I don’t think i have one? Zodiac Sign: Leo Gender: Male Favourite Colour: Red Average Hours of Sleep: ummm, 8-10 Last Thing You Googled: you’ll be back lyrics Height:  5′1″

tagging: whoever wants to do this!!!

[carolinemakesameme]

Using the new GIF function, search your faceclaim and post the first gif that shows up

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Using the new GIF function, search your faceclaim and post the first gif that shows up

Ask Memes;; Tumblr Post Edition

And then Satan said “put the alphabet in math”.

Sometimes I think I’m sassy and then I realise I’m just too sarcastic and borderline mean.

Do my dark undereye circles and unwashed hair turn you on? 

I love sunglasses! Am I looking at that tree? Am I looking at your dick? Who knows!

This is the police, open up, tell me about yourself, don’t be afraid.

Raise your hand if you’re a lil’ bit of an asshole. 

Why don’t people do random nice things for me? You know, send me a message, draw me, paint me, send me three hundred thousand dollars.

I am three years behind on math homework. 

I don’t like your clothes; take them off. 

What if you start making car alarm noises when people you don’t like touch you?

Hey, is your girlfriend seeing anyone?

I get butterflies when I think about myself. 

When you see a good body and you just can’t think of a good pun. IT’s dev-ass-tating.

Umm… hi. My friend wanted to know if you think I’m hot. 

To quote Hamlet, act three, scene three, line ninety two, “no.”

I never run voluntarily so if you see me running, you should probably run too because something must be coming. 

I’ve got a masters degree in being ignored. 

I will do a lot of things, but admitting to my mum that I’m cold after she told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them. 

Dads are either too nice or assholes; there’s no in between.

On a scale of fake pockets to nachos, how good is your idea? 

I’m alive, but only ironically. 

I’ve been in a bad mood since two thousand and seven. 

No, you’re not as funny as me. Stop trying. 

Just suck my dick, bro. I said no homo like, five times. 

I love it when people try to hurt my feelings because I don’t have any. 

-sighs- Why am I better than everyone? 

I don’t trust people who can look good with messy hair. 

If my jokes offend you - one; I’m sorry. Two; it won’t happen again. Three; one and two are lies. Four; you’re a pussy. 

If I go to hell, I’m just going to torture everyone by continually asking if it’s hot in here of if it’s just me. 

My love is like a candle; if you forget me, I will burn your fucking house down. 

Let’s play a game called “Guess My Sexuality”. 

I’m angry and quite offended that you don’t have a crush on me. 

Are you from Europe because europiece of shit. 

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LIKE/REBLOG this if you’d be willing to interact with an often sleep deprived & confused young surgeon to be. his name is anthony woodland & if you want to woo him just send some poetry.