kill 'em with kindness

[prcstinex]

              it was the first time since the death of her brother , since she had come back & had the endless text messages of some random person claiming to be her brother , first time since she engulfed all the guilt for her brothers murder ; first time since everything went to absolute shit that tessa was found with a bright smile on her face. ice cream moving its way through her stomach & her blue bikini peeking out from her white tank top , she held her hands up in the air with her voice echoing around them. ‘‘ come on ! oh ----- come on ! if you’re a bird ------- , ’’ she paused , waiting for the other to finish the phrase. she felt happy , free , herself. but everyone , including herself , knew that it wasn’t going to last.

[prcstinex]

nighterrrors‌ [ holden ]

          ❛  seems  like  a  pretty  big  stain,  t.  ❜     holden dyer had been many things over the course of his lifetime. a model son, a mama’s boy, a problem child, a teen delinquent, a drug dealer, a fuckin’ slacker who’s too smart to ever do anythin’ about it, as half of his report cards used to say, but one thing he had never been? was stupid. an almost unintelligible intellect had possessed holden ever since he was young, the kind that made his mother smile and his father proud, but the kind that made those exact same eyes fill with fear at the possibilities. he’d discovered santa wasn’t real at four years old, and from then on, life had been a series of dissecting fantasies. picking apart the sentences that seemed too good to be true. the sentences that made him feel a little bit too good.

          he knows tessa. better than he knows himself. and whilst he knew she was likely fed up of his consistent bullshit, fed up of his inability to commit or display an emotion that wasn’t on the wrath spectrum, he knew this particular upset wasn’t his fault. the tears that pricked her honey tinted lenses were not those laced with storms, betrayal, and a horrifying hint of care, they were stemming from something else entirely.     ❛  does  this  have  something  to  do  with  that  guy  ?  ❜

          again, not stupid. he had known tessa would’ve dated, possibly fallen in love with, plenty of other men whilst he had gone. after all, they had never made any declarations, nor did he expect her to believe he was even alive. a nice man would’ve even received holden’s respect, a solid understanding of boundaries was something his mother had taught him well, but something seemed maliciously off.     ❛  tessa.  ❜     he never used her full name, it had always been t from the moment they’d met, but the casual look on his features had morphed into something strange. something entirely unlike him, something so few people were allowed to even glimpse. it was concern.

                ‘‘ i’ll ---- get it. i can get it. ’’ she stated in a quick tone , hands working quick on the beer stain that was just getting worse the more she dabbed & rubbed with white knuckles. she could only imagine what was being said about her in the other room , the laughter that would erupt each time an insult would be shot in her direction. as much as she wanted to hate him , she couldn’t help but make excuses for him ; he had been the first person that tessa allowed herself to fall for after holden had left , had disappeared. he was the sweetest male she could have known the first few months , he had held her close , told her how beautiful she was & made her feel as though she was on top of the world. it didn’t happen in a blink , it was a slow increase. 

              it started with jealousy. blocking many males out of her life other than her brothers , then began with him being jealous of her brothers & how close she had been with them. got worse when he could manipulate her into believing he was better than family ; tessa packing up things & moving in with brody & taking all passwords off her phone. then came the continuous fights , fights that he would start & make her end with apologies. the whispers he would spread around for his own amusement , controlling how others would see her. he would show around photos he would take of her with the bare minimum on , sometimes even using them as proof that she needed weight loss in certain places. 

              she believed she deserved it , believed that this was what her love life was meant to be. having the male tell her when she was being stupid & not taking care of herself. the more & more she allowed the memories to take hold of her mind , the less she was in touch with reality. the white on her knuckles only got more prominent as the thoughts ran through her head , her hand moving so quickly she could probably start a fire on her shirt. it wasn’t until she heard her name that she finally turned her head towards the male. ‘‘ what ? ’’ she snapped , tears on the bridge of falling down her face & face flushed with worry & a sense of fear. fear ------ that was what she felt when it came to messing up around brody. fear that the emotional would become physical ; not that anyone knew about any of that.

[mypoorsouls]

[kourtwrites]

[prcstinex]

kourtwrites‌:

Lily Collins on Instagram

[boxintheocean]

favourite female actresses [1/∞] ↳ lily collins

[prcstinex]

holden dyer.

          like hell was he attending another stupid, rosewick party without some kind of crutch. ever since he’d returned, it had been a cacophony. are you okay? did they hurt you? what was siberia like? that last one, of course, was entirely nonsensical, but at this point weren’t all of their questions? all of their falsified cares and concerns? based upon lies upon lies that he himself had carefully orchestrated.     ❛  get  inside  man.  ❜     he spoke to one of his companions, some of the few friends he’d kept from before his disappearance, as they all moved back in after sharing a generous joint. it wasn’t that he was adverse to drinking, it was that, for once, he’d like to leave an event without someone else’s blood on his shirt, and drinking certainly exacerbated his incredibly neanderthal need to politely sock the nearest guy with a goatee.

          it didn’t take long for that to change. instinctually, as if he had radar implanted at the base of his brain, his dark eyes swivelled to the door just in time to catch her entrance. he truly hadn’t thought she’d be here, let alone be on the arm of… who the fuck was that? ronnie had tapped him lightly, you need a drink? she had innocently asked, but it had been long enough for a short chain of events to occur that the brunet hadn’t even glimpsed. by the time he’d turned back, she was gone from her previous spot, hues catching a flash of her outfit disappearing off into the nearby bathroom. when her companion didn’t react, let alone move, his brow furrowed.

          i’ll  just  check  on  her  and  leave. though that was certainly the weed talking.

          he weaved through the crowds with ease, most of them still fearful of him since high school, and quickly shuffled into the bathroom, knocking the door shut behind him largely by accident due to the space.     ❛  hey.  ❜     he gestured lightly towards her shirt,     ❛  you  okay  ?  ❜

              ‘‘ ----- stupid , you’re so stupid , ’’ she muttered to herself as she quickly dabbed at the shirt , knowing that there was no turning back from this stain at this point. the beer had seeped into the fabric , incorporating itself into the layers & clinging to her skin underneath. but that didn’t stop her , this was the distraction she needed ; brody couldn’t yell at her from here , she could act oblivious that he wasn’t bitching about her on the other side of the door , & she could pretend that she was cleaning up the mess that was her life instead of the shirt.

               the closing of the door caused the small girl to jump , instantly jumping to defense. ‘‘ brody ----- i said i was ---- , ’’ but she was cut off by another voice. hands gripped the sink , knuckles almost going white at the grip she had on it as she tried to calm herself down. he was the first & last person she wanted to walk into that bathroom. her heart jumped at the thought that he managed to walk through the whole crowd & follow her to the bathroom , but she didn’t know what to expect from the encounter after the endless fights they’ve had since they finally got back into each others lives. not to mention , if brody had witnessed he other man walk into the bathroom with the door closing , she didn’t want another fight to break loose.

               slowly , she nodded her head , forcing back her tears as she continued to dab at the shirt that was stained beyond repair ( much like her life ). ‘‘ i’m fine. just --- a little stain. i can get it out. ’’ she said quietly , forcing herself to focus on her stain & not his face.

[prcstinex]

              she was bitter , she was upset & she felt nothing less than alone. three things that always caused the young woman to go back to her self-loathing section of her personality , pushing herself into situations that were going to end worse. she didn’t know what she thought was going to happen when she entered the home , knowing very well that the arm that wrapped around her was going to be nothing-less of controlling , but she felt a small sense of warmth being against him. his voice boomed in her ear , his pupils were dilated to prove the cocaine was pushing it’s way through his veins , & the alcohol on his breath was still lingering on her lips from the sloppy kiss she was given moments prior. he was a horrible human , someone that didn’t deserve her love , but with the heartache that continued to rush over tessa , she just wanted to be wanted ; wanted someone to look at her & know that she was the only person in the room that was needed.

               of course , she was being oblivious about holden’s feelings. he did love her , but she couldn’t bring herself to know that he did , not with how cold he had been the few times they had seen each other. she couldn’t continue to put herself in situations that were going to end in her tears. holding onto the red solo cup with loose fingers , she wore a small smile as she socialized with her old friends , friends she cut off when she had finally broken up with brody , someone that took her sweet mind & made her hate every fibre of her being with his simple words.

               she had saw the woman first , her curly hair & fake innocence all over her face , then she saw the face she was hoping to avoid. her loose grip soon turned into a harsher one , the red solo cup crumpling under the pressure & beer splashing against her body & brody’s. ‘‘ you ------ fucking dumb bitch , can you do anything right ? i see some things never change, huh ? ’’

              ‘‘ i ----- i’m sorry , ’’ she stuttered , quickly putting the cup down before rushing towards the bathroom , keeping the door ajar just enough that if someone actually needed it , she could be told & leave. taking a deep breath , she grabbed a cloth before starting to dab at the beer stains already forming on her white , tight-fitting shirt.

closed starter for @nighterrrors

[prcstinex]

               ‘‘ how bad was it ? ’’ she asked quietly , throbbing temples being her main focus at the moment. she couldn’t help but crinkle her nose at the sunlight rays that were sneaking their way through the shades , but thankful that the covers were wrapped around her in a tight formation to keep her petite body supported & warm. she couldn’t remember much , she did remember the flashing lights & booming music. she also remembered tj holding her hands on the dancefloor as she twirled each other around in a happy nature , something that was rare for both of them lately. they had dedicated last night to having a good time , a fun time with just the two of them & it was definitely something that she deserved. ‘‘ thankful you let me crash , though. pretty sure my parents would murder me if i came home ------ however i was last night. ’’ she said with a small chuckle.

closed starter for @tjwxrder​

[varietyofwords]

[prcstinex]

new tags

[idek-whatsup-deactivated2020012]

um this should be illegal

[prcstinex]

warder , tj

‘‘damn girl– i ain’t even that hungry.’‘ tj says with a chuckle,  arms folding across his chest. oh no. tessa stress eating was never a good thing. taking the seat across from her, he lets out a sigh and puts his chin into his hand. ‘’alright. talk to me. what’s up, short cake?’’

              ‘‘ whatever , don’t judge me. ’’ she muttered , chewed fries mumbling her voice as she brought her reusable straw to her lips , taking a long sip of the diet coke ; as thought it being diet was going to help her at this rate. taking a deep breath , the small girl leaned back in her chair with a shrug of her shoulders. ‘‘ i have about thirty pages i need to write by the end of next week for my finals and i have two words on the pages ------ my name. ’’

[outofthewood]

[idnfok]

[prcstinex]

              anyone who knew the lancaster girl knew that she was very particular on what she put in her body , usually not known to drink lots of alcohol or to eat out , unless it was a legitimate meal. her eyes were already glossy , but just enough to make it seem as though she was still tired & not as though she drank a coffee this morning ; although she added more baileys than coffee into the cup. finally looking up from her cell phone , mostly because her plate of fries was empty —- again , she took in a deep breath. ‘‘ can you order me more fries ? —- oh & add a side of mozza sticks this time , ’’ she stated before turning her head towards the staring individual. ‘‘ i stress eat , okay ? ’’

[chalamet]

Marilyn Lima photographed by Maud Chalard for Uni Paris 2019

[prcstinex]

lancaster , romeo

“We will find out who did it and get justice…”, more like COLD REVENGE, “…I promise. He didn’t deserve that and whoever did it will FALL”, Romeo agreed; although he knew Aiden moved in dangerous grounds, he had a connection with pretty much everyone in town, so looking for suspects could take forever, specially in a town like Rosewick in which everyone has something to hide. His ability as psychiatrist always came in help when trying to decipher someone’s feelings, but in return, he could hardly give an empathy feedback; causing him to create a screen of insensitivity around himself; so this time, even though his sister’s eyes were DYING to say something, Romeo looked away to avoid letting the doctor in him take over and scare her away.

She dropped into his arms and Romeo was at a loss of words or even response for a moment.   When was the last time he held his siblings like this?   His hands, inexperienced with real affection, took a moment to correspond and hold her tightly, feeling a weight in his heart lift a little and the threat of sadness balled in his throat.     Don’t be sentimental, Romeo, you weren’t raised like this.     But he still hugs her and one of his hands softly scratches the back of her head. He had a little idea of what she meant, the drugs must have been causing horrible visions for her that just got augmented by her own inner demons.     “It’s the drugs, Tess, just… close your eyes, focus on my words and what you can actually touch. Those images aren’t real”, he advised, tightening the hug a little bit, probably more for self-comfort than for her, “It’s gonna be okay”. And for a moment they are six and ten again and Tessa has just scratched her knee and he is there for her and everything is fine for little moment. “Do you want me to take you home?”

               the physical contact that was given to her was just what she needed , hell , it was what she’d been needing for the past four years. hugs weren’t something that tessa asked for anymore , something she avoided at all costs. the last person she hugged would have been holden when she realized he was back , prior to that , it probably would’ve been aiden after she picked him up from a party & helped him get into bed. physical comfort only made her emotions pour out , her tears staining the costume that her brother had on while her own daphne-inspired dress was almost soaked with water & sweat. her whole world seemed to come crashing down in those ten minutes of finding romeo , but within the same ten minutes , he was helping her build it back together with something as small as his arms around her in a protective way.

               ‘‘ it’s all my fault ------- i could’ve saved him , romeo. i could have saved him ------ i’m so sorry. ’’ it was the drugs now , the small hint of a secret she had been holding to herself slipping out. the missed call alert on her phone flashing in her mind , always repeating when she rested for the night. if only she had answered the phone call , if only she had put her brother before her extra credit assignment for one minute to hear his worries & go get him like she was supposed to. she listened though , she closed her eyes instantly , small hands gripping tightly to the clothing wrapped around his torso. ‘‘ yes ------ yes , please take me home. ’’