2026. 03. 16: Masking
This has been brewing in my head for awhile. I admit, visiting my aunt affects me most of the time which is why I don't meet with her often. In itself that's probably another topic for another time, haha. It's now been days since I feel somewhat gloomy and down. Words and phrases like "I'm fine", "I'm okay" are my canned responses despite feeling none of those. What am I really feeling? I don't think it matters when I say it to others, it will either be dismissed, ignored, or be a burden to them, at least that's what I feel most of the time.
Funnily enough the recent main quest I played in WuWa was similar, Aemeath who turns out to be Rover's adopted child was masking her feelings and worries to their parent. Made me really cry and how it resonated with me. Though we may have different reasons for masking but the feeling is there, MASKING.
What am I masking? Well my feelings first both mentally and physically and then what I really think. I think it has been this way since I was a kid. I'm so used to growing up being told to stay put and be quiet that that's what become of me. I also get blamed for things that wasn't me when I was a kid so its also another cause and another different topic Lol. Will I grow out of it? I hope so. For now the masks stays until it cracks.