Ethical non-monogamy and the full moon.
âDonât look at the full moon with her. It would break my heart.â I know itâs unreasonable so I never ask, but I wish I could. I know better though, I know the moon doesnât belong to me, and neither does he. Standing under the moon is a different thing between any two people, I know this, but it feels like mine.Â
Never let her turn around and kiss you on the stairs the way I do.
Never let her write stories on the back of your neck with her fingernails after you fuck.
Never let her fall asleep on your shoulder, in the crook of your arm, the one thatâs just the right shape for me to nestle against.
I know in my heart itâs not just for me, I know itâs human-shaped, not me-shaped, but letâs pretend okay? Letâs pretend you were built just for me. What a pretty little fantasy.Â
Letâs pretend that there were rules that could protect us, that if we just stayed within the right boundaries this would never hurt. Letâs pretend we can legislate our feelings, follow the red tape, letâs pretend regulations and a page of things we Can Not Do would be simple, like a grocery list. You never look at the moon with her and Iâll never let anyone brush my hair out of my face when itâs messy. Iâll never let anyone kiss my baby toes or hide my face during movies at the scary parts. Iâll never slow dance in the kitchen with anyone but you.Â
Until Iâm dancing, in a different kitchen, with someone who isnât you. Itâs a different dance, of course. They donât hold me like you do, theyâre cooking dinner and I touched them, it drew them to me, and next thing you know we were dancing. It doesnât feel like a travesty or an invasion of our space, your space, my space with you. It feels like dancing in the kitchen with someone else. Itâs wonderful in itâs own way, but different entirely.Â
Thatâs why it would be a silly rule; You can outlaw an activity but you canât control the intimacy between two people, the way any arbitrary act can feel magical, the chemistry at play. These things are not compartments you can lock up or barricade, they are life experiences, lived moments. Building blocks to connections that neither you or I can predict. We have to trust in what weâve built together, and all the unique ways we make each other happy. The moon is going to look amazing tonight, no matter whose hand youâre holding as you look towards the sky. And if thereâs fireworks between two people, you wouldnât need the moon to see them. We can feel how we feel, thatâs the deal.Â
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