bel

life’s messy, and people have secrets 26 | taurus | lesbian | she/her blm+acab+free palestine emeraldsugar + goodnightttmooon are me 2 :p

[preciousposession]

I woke up and decided against suffering. I put half and half in my coffee

[boycritter]

just finished learning how strong i can be if i have to!! i hope the next thing i learn is something fun and awesome 😁😁😁

[pansyfemme]

whatever.

[pansyfemme]

i dont caaaaaare

[pansyfemme]

google search how to make someone explode

[roadkill555-deactivated20240928]

[preciousposession]

I had this dream. I might’ve been awake when I had it, but it’s so hard to tell these days. I was reading in the kitchen, headphones so loud I don’t realize I’m burning the food on the stove until I smell it. I am frustrated, but when you walk in, I laugh. I find nothing funny right now, but I am laughing to ease the tension the way my mother taught me, inadvertently. I started reading again so you would tell your friends I’m smart, not hot. You’d tell them I’m interesting, not fun. Someone you like to have around in the day as well as the night. In the midst of the forced laughter, you touch me, and I want to recoil. I want to shrug you off and hold it against you how much you misunderstood me in this moment. But I can feel by the touch of your hands that it is not me and you and the moment. We are the moment. We are the seconds ticking down on the oven timer and the ever freezing air creeping in through the window panes, night after night. My dedication to being misunderstood is dissolved by more than the drink I made while cooking. It is against my better judgment that I allow the feel of you to put me at ease. I do not tense. I continue to laugh, but now at my own foolishness. My own desire to be jaded. All these years, my want to be so smart, and so interesting and such the woman who exists in the hour of the wolf, that I didn’t realize I could loosen my muscles. That I could give in to your touch if it feels good. That anything could feel good. I am laughing at my own idea of myself. And before you can kiss me through the laughter, I wake. But the comfort persists. Not as a dull ache, but more a fond memory. I let it rest on top of me, all its weight, and I’m forced to realize that I look forward to seeing you. I actually look forward to being in the kitchen with you.

[fairycosmos]

you are just mad because time cast a spell on you but you won’t forget me

[preciousposession]

I’m a thousand different people, btw. Yeah, like a never ending self, reborn by the hour? I hope that’s okay.

[preciousposession]

Soemthing is wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

Something isn’t right right right right right

[stargirldotcom]

be careful going for walks this september. the air might smell like recess in second grade and you might get sick to your stomach with melancholia

[website-com]

ive heard if its all gone wrong and is fucked beyond repair you can actually use it for banana bread

[tunisian]

“too much garlic” whats next? too much love?

[hellshee]

the best thing about tumblr is that you can watch a show and then you come here and someone has made a gifset of it and you can put it on your blog like a sticker in a journal

[preciousposession]

What you will

[preciousposession]

I don’t recall the last time I knew love without loss. The last time I read a poem written from the pen of someone’s aching hand and felt the reach in the present tense. To recite aloud to you a verse and say, “this is how it feels” rather than to wake from a distant dream and say, to no one, “this is how it once felt.”

[preciousposession]

I know it now!!!! I love so loudly, I love in real time!!!!! This is how it feels!!!!!!!!!!!

[brandneweyescd]

they were right btw. you have to dig yourself out of your grave over and over again

[angelicdewdrop]

[sacred-portal]