Preggaux

Gestational Ruminations

[preggaux-blog]

New Direction

So he's here. Do I need to change the title to UnPreggaux?

[preggaux-blog]

Nearing the End

As ready as I am to be done, I'm going to miss these little belly nudges and yoga moves. It's like a secret contained solely within myself, and I never have to share it with anyone. Soon, this baby will belong to the world, not just me. But I can't wait to see the love the kid will experience.

[thedaddycomplex]

If drinking a mimosa out of one of my kids’ cups at 11:30 at night is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

[preggaux-blog]

My future, I hope, because it means there are bubbles in the house.

[thedaddycomplex]

Having a dog is a great way to prep for having a baby. Neither understand what the hell you’re saying right away. Both need regular feeding, cleaning, potty time, play time, and you need to care for them when they’re ill.

Just don’t try to breastfeed a dog. Seriously.

[preggaux-blog]

Angry Letters

Learning about baby goods isn't all fun and games. I have a whole new slew of things to piss me off. First letter I think I'll write is to Graco. Dear Graco, Why the hell would you make a PORTABLE CRIB and not put a handle on the carrying case? Really? Because what I need is to carry a 23-pound handle-less box around when I'm carting a baby to and fro.

[preggaux-blog]

Compliments

"Great bump!" is an AWESOME compliment for a pregnant woman. Being serious for once.

[preggaux-blog]

On Trend

I keep seeing these cropped shirts everywhere, and it's a good thing they are "in" because there isn't a maternity shirt that can hold my belly at this point. Keeps me from looking too trashy, right?

[preggaux-blog]

Today's Mantra

Mustn't waddle. Mustn't waddle. Mustn't waddle.

[preggaux-blog]

Not Hormonal

It's just that fish tanks make me really sad. The poor little fish, who dream of the ocean, stuck in a tiny glass container.

[preggaux-blog]

Bad Baby!

I swear, this kid is trying to make me pee my pants. You're grounded until prom, child.

[preggaux-blog]

Accomplishment

I used a glue gun without burning myself and painted my own toenails today. If that's not a full day, I don't know what is.

[preggaux-blog]

Battle

The baby is winning the battle for my body and mind. I may surrender and just sit on the couch, waiting for someone to bring me a malt.

[preggaux-blog]

Spare Me

I’m going to punch the next a-hole who says “just you wait until the baby gets here." You asked if I was tired!!!

[preggaux-blog]

Meal Plan

It's a Zofran-for-dinner kind of day. Yuck.

[preggaux-blog]

Workout of the Day

Bladder punching: An enjoyable exercise for fetuses everywhere. Let's make this gestational carrier feel like she is going to pee her pants every 3 minutes!

[preggaux-blog]

Old Dad's Tales

"I knew a woman who cooked her baby in a hot tub when she was pregnant in the '70s. Have you been in a hot tub?" - my dad's helpful pregnancy advice. Ummm. No, Dad. I promise, but now I'm horrified.

[preggaux-blog]

Variety

I have five kinds of Popsicles in my freezer. Now, I only like about two of the flavors, but choices are important. On the other hand, there is only one handle of vodka.