objectively my relationship with my dad is worse. but my mind apparently doesn't care about logic because my relationship with my mom hurts so much more. because she at least knows stuff about me. while the connection between me & my dad has been entirely 'off' since i was like 12, me & my mom are constantly 'on' & 'off'. one moment i think she's no better than my dad and the next i'm reminded exactly why she's so much better. if i had to choose to live with one of them for the rest of my childhood i'd choose her without hesitation. (kinda random but indian parents really need to start normalizing divorce lmao) in the end, my dad mostly stays out of whatever happens to me and doesn't interact and i'm fine with it now because i don't really like the person he is, but my mom doesn't stay out of it. she's objectively a better person. she's there, she listens, but also she makes things so much worse. well at least she's got more tact than my dad. i feel like the reason it hurts more with her is because at times i actually have hope whereas i've given up when it comes to my dad. my dad doesn't have expectations to meet so he can't disappoint me any more but i know my mom and she is a much better parent than him and sometimes i expect a healthy interaction and when it doesn't happen i'm left disappointed and hurt. idk i'm just rambling atp
