Trapped. @pressure-change - Tumblr Blog

Forget about who we are it doesn't matter, we can't afford to figure that out right now. Just...just sort.

We need to anchor, don't know who to anchor, need to anchor, don't know how to anchor, need to anchor, don't know what to anchor with don't know how don't know who don't know what don't know why don't know what don't know who don't know how d

Please don't give up on me ... I'm trying... I'm sure I can do it eventually... I'm sure... I'm sure

experiencing eternal pain

#that's just experience

Need. Need. Can't think. She's wailing. I'm starving. Can't food. But he went to bed after 2. He went to bed after 2 and it's only 9 it's only 9 it's only 9 it's only 9 it's only 9 it's only 9

#rips hair out

The sound, the sound, the sound, it's too much, too much, too much, I drown it with my own sound, yes, louder, it hurts me, but, not as badly, not as badly.

All that meditation to have a thought and I went to write it down immediately but Millie meowed twice first and it's just, gone. Sat and tried to get it back for a while and it's just gone.

#What's the point #I'd have to be able to remember the topic somehow but I just couldn't grab my phone fast enough #I had to look for it so by the time I had it she destroyed my thought #Then she came for my attention and I'm not in the mood because she obliterated my thoughts #And now I'm quite sure this isn't the first time she's ruined our morning by immediately destroying #the work momentum we keep almost getting back #Condemned to start my days with failure and a bad mood.

I really I'm very close to being able to make deals with more complex entities consciously

this is the ultimate trust

it is beyond uncomfortable for us

but it must be done

#they'll survive ehehe

guiltsickness

everything feels so hard now, every morning brings another small death out of my control

pressure-change

#idea #👁️👁️

ive lost do many ideas i lost so many great ideas bc the burn out just get worse and last forever i had so many drawing ideas im terrified they're gone forever and now i Just. nothing . just nothing i feel so dead i regret talking to that careless fucking moron that thought it was appropriate to say to a cripple that his worst self where he can't do anything nit even think is hiz mist him like just kill yourself

the only way my beain works at all is by screaming and abusing drugs :))))))

hurts tired always taking care of things hurts tored always taking care of things gyrts tired always taking care of things hurts tired always taking xare of things

#nit a person i can't ground im not a person i can't ground its been days again #its been days again I can't gtound i can't think i can't sleep eating is hard I can't #I'm so tired in so tired i can't think i can't think abs kt won't end

I want to crawl in to a cave for a week and be left alone and not have to eat or sleep or shit or piss or bathe or go for a walk. Why doesn't being a god spare me consumption? I need sacrifices I'm not receiving, I don't have the energy to eat. I need to. I need to feed off people. I do. I know I do. They make it so fucking hard.

#I need to eat. I need to eat.#Too fucking burnt out to eat.

whywhywhy so useless just eat please why so hard? why so hard? why?

I've died more times than I can count

hell fully hell fully hell fully hwll fully hell fully hell fully hell fully hell fully hell fully hell fully hell fully hell fully hell

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