For Si Eun, school is a very important part of life, mainly because he wants a calm, stable and successful future, not to mention that he loves having knowledge. So obviously that didnโt change when the two of you started dating. He was immediately attracted to your intelligence and determination, and being a very attentive and observant partner, of course he noticed when your grades started to drop and you became more distracted in class.
He didnโt know why and preferred not to ask since you didnโt take the initiative to talk about it; so he just respected your will and assumed it was a bad phase and that soon you would go back to your usual behavior.
But that took a long time to happen, and when you finally went back to studying for tests, Si Eun noticed that you were getting more and more irritated and frustrated with the results. He knew what it felt like to be frustrated with a grade after some time dedicated to the effort of learning, so naturally he did what he could and in the way he could to help you. Direct and with no room for excuses, he started inviting you to study sessions three times a week. Sometimes the meetings on weekends were followed by long walks in the park with an ice cream cone in hand. At first it was difficult for him to include you in his heavy study routine without frustration taking over both of you, but always patient with you, things worked out over time. And you could swear you had never seen him so proud of you as the first time you got a perfect score on your first test.
Ahn Su-ho:
A girlfriend that's struggling with an eating disorder.
He could swear you were avoiding him. More than three weeks in a row in which you rejected his invitations to go out, even though you saw each other every day at school, he didnโt think it was enough, Su Ho wanted to breathe the same air as you all the time, no one imagined he would be such a clingy boyfriend. So he started observing the changes in your behavior and in your body; you were always tired, complained daily about your nails breaking, you didnโt let him touch your hair out of fear that your strands would fall even more, you skipped breaks and while everyone ate you just talked, drank water all the time and were getting more and more moody.
Su Ho thought something might be happening at home but you would have told him, and then, after a small conversation with Si Eun and a long afternoon of research on Google, he found out what was going on. At first he didnโt understand, he genuinely didnโt understand why you would be torturing yourself like that over a few numbers on the scale, but he tried to understand โ because it was about you, so it was important โ but it was difficult and frustrating for him, especially when he realized you couldnโt see that you were already perfect.
He tried to avoid being too direct when touching on the subject but you made everything harder by trying to minimize the situation. Su Ho didnโt leave room for a discussion to happen, either you would resolve this situation with him or he would insist until you got tired.
After you had a long and exhausting conversation, full of โWhat? Why would you do that?โ and a lot of crying followed by tight hugs, you let him into your mind and understand your situation, explaining your story and reasons. He listened patiently and with the most focused expression you had ever seen on him. However, he insisted that if you really wanted to lose weight, he would help you do it the right wayโฆ which includes not rejecting his invitations, since moments like that are much more memorable than the moments you would spend in front of the mirror hating yourself. Even so, Su Ho could never understand how you didnโt see yourself the way he saw you.
Oh Beom-seok:
A girlfriend that's struggling with self harm.
The situation wasnโt a secret between you two, it was basically one of the things that brought you closer and made him not feel so alone knowing that you understood him and didnโt think he was crazy.
Although the reasons varied, many times you knew he hurt himself to feel a bit of control over his own body and pain, just like you when your thoughts got too loud and you felt like your heart was bleeding.
However, together (and with a lot of therapy) you overcame it and were doing very well, or at least thatโs what he thought. It had been months since he had intentionally hurt himself, but even so he knew the signs, being realistic, it was hard to recognize the signs in you because you managed to hide your sadness from him since you didnโt want to make him worried. However, it was already summer and Beomseok noticed that you kept wearing long-sleeved shirts to school, even when you complained about the incessant heat of the season, thatโs how he noticed something was wrong.
He didnโt want to be inconvenient and ask right away โAre you doing that again?โ but at the same time he felt terrible and guilty because you didnโt trust him enough to open up. He felt your pain, and on top of everything, he felt insufficient for not being able to heal you like you did with him. It was a silly and even selfish thought, and he knew that, but he couldnโt confront his own feelings.
When he confronted you about the scar, it was a conversation full of tension and regret from both sides. You didnโt want to burden him and he didnโt want to make you feel judged. However, you could feel the sincerity in his voice, how hurt he was for not being able to help you with your pain and how worried he was. Beomseok would go crazy if he lost you, the mere thought made him feel sick. You, of all people, the only good thing that had happened to him for many years, the person who showed him that love could be true, real and beautiful.
He spent many nights researching techniques to help you forget about the cuts, listened carefully when you felt the weight of the world on your shoulders and even gently and devotedly kissed every scar on your body with nothing but affection. You, who sometimes felt repulsive because of your scars, by his side only felt love. Pure, complicated and mutual.
Park Hu-Min (Baku):
A girlfriend that's struggling with bad parents.
The boy knew you like the back of his hand, maybe even better than yourself, and when your mood was bad, he was the first to do everything to see you smile again. It wasnโt a secret that your relationship with your mother wasnโt the best, Baku had already heard you complain about her about five hundred times and in all of them he supported you and in his rushed way, made you forget the fights and harsh words.
But this time it was different because he didnโt hear you tell the story, he saw it with his own eyes. He went to your house to pick you up for a date, and as soon as he got to the gate he heard your motherโs shouting, clearly agitated and taking it out on you, who was shouting with the same intensity. He almost hesitated to ring the bell, but did it anyway and was greeted with your face at the window saying you were already coming down. He waited with an awkward smile for the argument to end.
Before you closed the gate and greeted him, your mother shouted again โYou look ridiculous in that outfit. This boy should be ashamed to walk with someone like you!โ and at that moment the smile disappeared from his lips. You made a point of ignoring the subject the whole day, changing topics or simply pretending you didnโt know what he was talking about, thatโs how he knew you were really hurt.
As soon as he got home, Baku texted you, making it clear that your mother had never been more wrong and that in fact he couldnโt be more proud to be by your side.
Baku knew firsthand what it was like to be seen as a disgrace, a nobody with no future by your own family. He knew how the harsh words of a father or mother hurt much more than any punch because they touch a very intimate part of our soul. And just thinking that your mother treated you that way made the boy furious and frustrated with the situation because he knew he couldnโt do anything but emphasize his love for you. No matter what your mother said, she didnโt appreciate you (and even if he didnโt understand why), he knew he would love you enough for both of them.
Go Hyun-tak (Gotak):
A girlfriend struggling with low self esteem.
You went to all of his games, always there in the stands, cheering and watching him dedicate his victories to you. And you loved being there for him, but being with someone so popular had its complications and many of them came directly from your own mind. It wasnโt like you didnโt know he had fans, but seeing them at every game with their short dresses, perfect faces and enviable bodies had become a constant problem. You couldnโt help comparing yourself and eventually questioning: why did he choose me among all of them?
The thing is that this question never even crossed his mind. Gotak had been charmed by you since the first time he heard your voice. The boy was simply crazy about everything about you and everyone could see that. Except you.
When you finally decided to tell him what was going through your mind, Gotak got genuinely angry. First because he couldnโt believe that you really doubted yourself and what he felt for you, and second because you insisted on treating the subject like a joke even though it hurt you. Accidentally he was harsher than he would have liked, but his intentions were pure.
He felt bad for even allowing you to create doubts about the size of his love for you. After your conversation, he started complimenting you ten times more than usual, but not just common and ordinary compliments, they were deep compliments that had been thought of with great care like โI love how your whole body relaxes when you eat chocolateโ.
He always posts pictures of you with the cutest songs he knows, doesnโt hesitate to show the world that he loves you and that he has no eyes for anyone else.
Na Baekjin:
A girlfriend that's struggling with problems at home.
He is naturally very protective of you, and although he doesnโt show it much with words, Baekjin is always attentive to your routine, mood, well-being and health. The main way he finds to take care of you is by being your safe place; no matter how the world is, around him you will always be safe and comfortable.
As usual, you spent the rest of the afternoon together, but your energy was practically drained after being forced to wake up early to take care of the house, review your studies and still cook for your grandmother, you were irritated after not being able to sleep properly at night, and it didnโt go unnoticed by Baekjin. He didnโt ask questions immediately, but made sure to see you eating and put you in a taxi, telling you to go rest at home.
However, after finally receiving an explanation for why you were so tired, he understood the situation immediately and made a point of picking you up again and taking you to his apartment.
As soon as you arrived, he sent you to the shower while he prepared a hot drink for both of you, fixed the bed the way he knew you liked it and waited for your bath to end to lie down with you. As you two laid down together, he let you choose a silly movie to watch until you fell asleep, surrounded by his arms and his calm breathing. You didnโt take long to, and while you slept, Baekjin watched you with impressive fascination. He, for a moment, considered asking you not to leave anymore, to stay there with him, in the small and comfortable world you two had created. However, regardless of your answer, he knew he would protect and take care of you at any cost.
Geum Seong-je:
A girlfriend struggling with mental health.
Dating Seong-je is not an easy task, the boy is disturbing, slightly insane, violent and lonelyโฆ and still, charming and a reflection of yourself. When you realized you were in love, it was complicated, you could barely deal with your own company, let alone his. But the thing was that he had also fallen in love, deeply and in a way he never had before, which only meant one thing: he wasnโt willing to give up on you.
Your crisis moments happened unexpectedly, simple things made you react in an exaggerated way, you freaked out and ended up being mean to everyone around you, especially him, who refused to leave you alone. And then came the phases where you said things you didnโt mean, where anger took over your body and all you wanted was to smash his face. And then came the guilt, flooded with sadness and regret. But in all phases, he was by your side. Taking every insult, apology and slap as if they were the most natural thing in the world for him.
He didnโt mind being your temporary punching bag, he also did his best not to take your harsh words personally, it was surprising to everyone, but he had always been very patient with you. After all, he understood what it was like to feel out of control, losing your mind and acting like a madman, many times he was taken by anger and indifference where he put himself at risk without thinking about the consequences โ and you supported him when he needed it, that was enough for him to promise not to let go of your hand in moments when everything seemed impossible.
Sometimes you felt like you were too much of a burden for him to carry, on nights where you crossed the line and then broke down sitting on the floor in tears, too ashamed to look at him and maybe see something other than love in his eyes โ but that never happened, every time, he sat beside you and held your head, bringing you to his chest and stroking your hair with nothing but care.
To the outside world, Seong-je could be a crazy, cold and violent guy but to you he was never anything but kind; and the love of your life.
notes: this is pure self indulgence lol but I hope at least someone think it's relatable :)
Beomseokโs birthday was practically a public event, since his adoptive father turned the date into a way to promote his election campaign. In other words, the entire day was basically Beomseok taking photos with people he had never seen before, fake smiles and plenty of flattery around the hall, impatient photographers and even a few journalists looking for a headline. He had never hated his own birthday so much โ but he did take something good from that day: his adoptive father had gifted him a state-of-the-art camera. Which soon became his most valuable possession and his only companion during his loneliest nights.
Beomseok developed a passion for photography; he captured several moments of his week that many would overlook, he had found a way to see beauty in the smallest and most subtle things of daily life, but nothing was as effortlessly dazzling as his muse โ you. His favorite pastime after you started dating was to record every moment of happiness in your relationship. Your smiles were often the focus of his camera.
Despite being very active on Instagram, his profile only had 3 posts: a family photo (which he was forced to post), a discreet photo making your relationship official, and a photo of you, which you didnโt even notice being taken. And almost every week he posts something new on his stories, almost always a photo of you or one that you took of him.
He may be shy and avoid drawing attention to himself, but this boy has never been afraid to announce to the world how much he loves you. As if it wasnโt already visible in the way he looks at you โ as if you had hung the moon in the sky, he mentions you in every possible conversation.
Si Eun was the first to notice the gentle way he described you to his friends or how he resembled a stray cat craving attention, always close to you and silently observing everything you did. Si Eun remained quiet, as always, but deep down he also felt grateful for the certainty that you would take care of his friend when he no longer could.
Su Ho, in a way, was the cupid between you. Beomseok almost freaked out when the boy interrupted your conversation and, without hesitation, asked, โWhen are you going to ask her out?โ, immediately turning red as a tomato and stuttering nonstop until you looked at him and said, โHeโs right, when are you going to ask me out?โ He didnโt know whether to cry right there, kick Su Ho for that or thank him. In the end, everything worked out โ by the end of the day, he had timidly asked you to check out a new cafรฉ near the school.
His wallpaper is a photo of the two of you. His favorite one, taken on your birthday. He could hardly believe how beautiful you looked, and so radiant, brighter than an entire constellation. You sat in the park, around four in the afternoon as the sun was setting, and he asked you in an intimate murmur, praying that time would stop at that exact moment:
โWhat did you wish for when you blew out the candles?โ
He expected a simple answer, something material that he would be more than happy to give you, but your answer left him speechless.
โI was going to wish that I had met you sooner, but I realized that was a silly wish. So I asked to know you forever, that way I would never forget you.โ
He can be very jealous sometimes; itโs no secret that Beomseok is very insecure, but he becomes even more paranoid and protective when it comes to you. Sometimes it can be suffocating, of course, many of your arguments were about that. The idea of losing you to another guy was enough to make him lose his head and act like an idiot, both with you and with others. It wasnโt a surprise when you found out he had gotten into trouble with one of your friends for thinking the boy had ulterior motives.
His insecurity came from a painful place within him; it wasnโt just the fear of being replaced by someone more handsome, intelligent, popular, or interesting. It was about a boy who had been abandoned as a child, who was suddenly chosen to be a trophy for a cruel man when all he wanted was to be part of a family, it was about a boy who grew up without friends and when he finally made some, he felt insignificant to them. Everything came down to a desperate need to be chosen by someone, again and again โ and that was all you needed to do to become his world.
The first time you found out what his father did to him was a mess. He had never felt so vulnerable and pathetic as he did that day. He hated even thinking that the only person who saw him as strong and as a real man now knew that deep down he was just a little boy who couldnโt defend himself from his own father. He felt ashamed. But that didnโt matter to you. You traced every scar on his back, listened to him cry like a child, held him tightly, and looking into his eyes, promised that you would never let him go.
The scars on his back werenโt the only things he hid. Beomseok experienced a lot of pain throughout his life, and in a twisted way, he ended up getting used to it. He developed a complicated relationship with pain โ he no longer feared it, not when he knew it was far from over. So he began, slowly, trying to take control of his own pain. He didnโt cut his skin, but he also didnโt stop picking at his wounds until they bled again, he slapped himself in moments of anger or he would simply start a fight over some silly reason. He couldnโt use a razor, not when his body was his fatherโs property. He needed to maintain an impeccable appearance, and that was why he never hurt his face.
He isnโt good with words and finds it terribly difficult to express his feelings, so he tries to do it by pleasing you with gifts he knows you want, taking you to expensive places you wouldnโt even imagine going to. But eventually he sends you messages in the middle of the night confessing how afraid he is of losing you and that heโs sorry for being the way he is.
He spares no effort to make you happy. He truly wants you to have everything youโve always wanted, to get into the best college in the country, live in a comfortable house and always be safe. He is a very attentive boyfriend, loves when you bother him all day by sending messages and telling him what youโre doing as if he were your walking diary.
He always gets nervous when trying on clothes different from what heโs used to wearing, so he sends you a quick picture and asks what you think. Your answer is the key to his confidence.
Unfortunately, he is extremely emotionally dependent on your relationship, your mood basically dictates his mood. Beomseok wants to spend as much time as possible with you, and sometimes struggles to understand that you need space and connections with other people.
When he knows youโre mad at him, he is capable of anything. He humiliates and ridicules himself for your forgiveness, even knowing that the next day he may resent all of it and end up taking it out on you, which becomes an endless cycle.
Beomseok doesnโt know how to love little by little, calmly. No. His love is intense and strikes you like lightning, it is almost impossible to be struck by it, but when it happens, it leaves marks so deep that nothing else brings you a similar feeling. But it doesnโt strike you twice either, his trust is given with great care and once it is lost, there is no going back.
notes: oh my dear misunderstood beomseok... you're just like me (in a way). also yes my headcanon is that he does sh...deal with it.
Can I request Sieun dating hcs, maybe with someone whoโs opposite to him, in there theyโre pretty bubbly and loud, but can be shy around people they donโt know too well?
YEON SI-EUN AS YOUR BOYFRIEND.
WEAK HERO CLASS HEADCANONS
Si eun was always very discreet, quiet, and seen as rude by most people, so when they found out he had a girlfriendโ and that she was the complete opposite of him โit was a huge shock and the reason for a lot of speculation.
Su ho, in particular, was stunned and a bit incredulous. He could barely believe his own eyes when he met you for the first time and saw what was almost a ray of sunshine in human form. A kind girl, very polite, beautiful, and excited about the small things in everyday life.
In a way, that was exactly what attracted Si eun. He admired the way you expressed yourself so openly, felt a strange sense of comfort in your loud laughter and in the silly smiles you offered him as if they were nothing special. He also valued having an intelligent and gentle partner โ those were very important qualities to him.
At the beginning, he admits it was awkward โ since both of you were slightly strange around each other, the initial phase of getting to know one another was marked by long silences that you always tried to fill with silly questions.
Si eun doesnโt easily give in to his own emotions; it was a difficult process, though faster than he would have imagined. You took up space in his mind before he even noticed, and within a few months, he was paying more and more attention to every detail about you. He liked watching you interact with your friends โ he found it charming how you behaved around people you trusted. He also noticed changes in your behavior as if they were a complicated equation to solve, subtly doing small things to please you or simply lift your mood.
Being very reserved, he didnโt exactly know how to approach you โ I mean, he was very good at observing other peopleโs interactions, and in theory he was ready, but in practice? It was terrible. Sometimes he would just sit beside you, quiet, looking at the horizon and mentally preparing himself several times before asking simple questions like โHow was your day?โ โ and you found it adorable, although you werenโt sure if he was actually interested in you.
Despite wanting to, he wasnโt the first to take any initiative. But he was sincere and decisive when accepting your invitation to go out together.
On your first date, he asked Su ho for help on how to act (and it wasnโt a good idea, because Si eun would never consider acting like Su ho, especially in such an important moment for him) and ended up telling you about it at the end of the day, as a way of showing that he was also nervous to go out with you.
He is a very attentive partner โ even if he doesnโt always show it with words โ he is always keeping an eye on you: whether youโre eating properly, if youโre having problems at home, if youโre too tired to go out, and especially your grades. He likes spending his time helping you study โ which, at first, was a big problem for him because he realized he couldnโt focus if you were around.
He looks at you and listens intently whenever youโre rambling about one of your interests; he may seem bored to the people around you, but you know he paid attention to every word when later he mentions some fact about that interest. Si eun makes an effort to be part of your world, in his own way.
They are rare moments, and you almost never notice, but on some days, he looks at you as if you were the sun itself, illuminating him with all your greatness. He feels very grateful and lucky, and in moments like these, he canโt hold back the small smile that grows on his lips.
Declarations of love are always very reserved โ Si eun doesnโt say things that arenโt absolutely true to him. It took him a long time to admit that he loved you โ although you could already feel the love that emanated from him in the many moments he took care of you โ but the first time he said those three words, you felt like your heart was going to explode with happiness and you almost shed a few tears.
He never said it out loud, but he recorded that day as a treasure in his own mind, and whenever he needed strength, he found it in you.
notes: a bit short but i hope you like it, thank you for requesting! :)
Your relationship with Max was anything but conventional.
Max Hastings was the kind of guy who got everything he wanted and didnโt care how he achieved it. He was despicable, manipulative, narcissistic, and crueler than he appeared โ those cold, calculating blue eyes were a small window into his twisted mind, and for all the wrong reasons, you loved him. You could spend hours analyzing every little piece of his face, every feature, every mannerism, every expression.
He was your favorite thing in the world.
And you were aware that your boyfriend wasnโt exactly a good person โ but you could never consider yourself one either. It was wrong and made no sense to anyone but the two of you, but you knew you loved him, and in his own way, he loved you too. No matter how loud things got out there, with Max, nothing would ever reach you, nothing except your own guilt.
Because being with Max was almost like having hemophilia and constantly walking over shards of glass, one small slip and everything would fall apart, all it took was one sharp look from the blond and you would bleed until there was no blood left in your veins.
It was terrifying โ and delicious โ because you had good moments, moments so high you could swear nothing would ever come close to the feeling of being in his arms.
โYou know just as well as I do that no man will ever love you the way I do, pretty girl.โ
โCome on, youโre not fun when you act like this... How can I help you relax?โ
โI know, baby. I know... Is this too much for you?โ
โNo, no. You can do it, be a good girl for me, alright?โ
โNo one knows me better than you, love. You know that.โ
But the bad moments, the lows... oh, they were as deep as a steep abyss, the arguments, the threats, the screaming, the mind games.
โYou think any other guy would do what I did for you?โ
โI thought you were smarter than that.โ
โDonโt be ridiculous, it makes me sick to see you humiliating yourself like this.โ
โI ruined you for the rest of the world. Itโs just you and me now, angel.โ
โYou know what Iโm capable of doing...โ
Max Hastings was like a drug that took you to highs and lows โ and you were addicted to him.
A young couple sharing a relationship of mutual obsession, shaped by an unbalanced power dynamic, walking on tiptoe along the thin line between love and hate. And it made you sick, disgusted with yourself and with him. Knowing you were capable of loving a monster made you what, if not another monster? Your guilt would not purify you. But it didn't made any difference, cause in the end, you would always fall back right into him.
notes: lowkey was hearing "white feather hawk tail deer hunter" and thought of him... cau u blame me? no. u can't.
Are you ever going to finish how to disappear because I love the series I read in months ago and I came back to see if you finished it so I was wondering if you ever were gonna finish it
honestly, I had lost all the interest on writing for billy cause re-reading it I noticed that I was losing the initial concept, but this week I've read Runaway Max and my interest suddenly got back lol
I'm probably not gonna finish it, but maybe start again with the same plot but adjusting some things
Hi just wanted to tell you, the short fic you posted with the title thats dark blue is like totally un readable on dark mode (the title in dark blue i mean) like it literally looks like scribbles on my device
hii, wait can u tell me which one? ๐
weird cause I also use dark mode and it seems fine, but thank u for letting me know! gonna try a lighter color with blue
dailybridgerton
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