Hi! I'm an ex-muslim and I just found your blog and I love what you post. I live in the US with both muslim parents and I consider myself to be an exmuslim for a number of reasons, but especially how toxic my dad truly is and his views on mental illness and family. Having a conservative muslim father is hard, especially when he has done so many things that ruined my life and contributed to my intense depression, anxiety, and PTSD
Hi, I'm glad you feel like my blog has helped you âșïž I know exactly how you feel, I'm always here if you ever want to rant đđ
not the reason radfems want to destigmatize and appreciate periods: because theyâre cute and fun and not gross at all.
the actual reason: girls are shamed for their periods, to the point where girls literally die in menstrual huts. periods are given as a reason women should not be leaders. tampons are taxed as a luxury. girls are taught to hide the fact that they get periods (hide pads/tampons, for example)
like even right now in Britain girls from low-income families are missing school because of their periods:
One pupil, who started her period aged 11, told BBC Radio Leeds that she had taped toilet roll to her underwear and missed school every month because she couldnât access sanitary protection.
âI wrapped a sock around my underwear just to stop the bleeding, because I didnât want to get shouted at,â she said. âI once Sellotaped tissue to my underwear. I didnât know what else to do.
âI didnât get any money because my mum was a single parent and she had five mouths to feed, so there wasnât much leftover money in the pot to be giving to us.â
Women in poverty here are using newspaper and old socks. Tina Leslie, who founded Freedom4Girls (a charity that provides sanitary protection in Kenya) said:
âI knew it was happening to homeless women and women accessing food banks, but not in schools. Itâs something you donât think about until somebody tells you.
âIt is linked to poverty. In developing and third world countries itâs well-known that 60 per cent of women and girls donât have access and they win five days of education, but itâs not widely known that itâs also an issue here in the UK. We knew it was happening, but not on what scale.
âThere were 25,000 visits to food banks in Leeds alone last year. So if youâre at crisis point you go to a food bank and, like in Kenya, if you canât afford food you canât afford sanitary protection.
(fwiw the population of Leeds is 750,000.)
In America a model was fired from Hyundai last month for having her period. She wasnât allowed to use the bathroom and consequently soiled her clothes, then was asked to go home âbecause of her âperiod situation,â according to her US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission complaint.â
As she was being paid by the hour, Rickert wanted to carry on working. She protested but was told to go home.
Two days later, Seifred called Rickert and told her she was being fired âbecause Hyundai heard about Ms. Rickert having her menstrual cycle and they didnât want Ms. Rickert representing the company anymore,â according to the EEOC complaint.
The situation is much, much worse in much of the world. In Nepal:
the practice of isolating women during their period [known as chhaupadi] exists across the country in differing formsâŠÂ In some places, women cannot be in their own homes during their period; in others women can be in the house, but not in the kitchen and worship room. They are also forbidden from touching other people (especially male members of the family or neighbours) or cattle and from growing fruit and vegetables. Women become untouchable.
[in some parts]Â menstruating women are literally banished to a shed while they bleed.
Some of them die. Women subjected to chhaupadi are at risk of health problems, including pneumonia, suffocation, and sexual assault, during their menstruation. It is also blamed for prolonged depression, young womenâs deaths and high infant mortality rates.Â
In urban India, 43% of girls use reusable cloth, yet they are often washed without soap or clean water.Â
Another study found that 88% of women in India use old fabric, rags or sand to manage their flow, because they cannot access or afford commercial sanitary padsÂ
A study in Mukuru, Nairobi found that girls ages 10- 19 reported having sex with older men to afford basic needs like sanitary pads.Â
In another study, 73 percent of interviewed Bangladeshi garment workers reported they miss work for an average of six days per month (resulting in unpaid work days) due to vaginal infections caused by unsanitary menstrual materials. This is a loss that few can afford, particularly those  who live on less than two dollars a day.
From the same link, according to UNICEF, 83 percent of girls in Burkina Faso and 77 percent in Niger have no place at school to change their sanitary menstrual materials.
1.25 billion women donât have access to a toilet during menstruation!!
We need to end period stigma and increase access to sanitary protection worldwide.Â
Dignity Period, Femme International, and Freedom4Girls all accept financial donations. Canât donate? Then keep talking about it!!Â
i hate kids of immigrants who agree w the idea of hitting their children. i hate the parents tht normalized that to begin with but i hate the kids who decide to keep doing it even after they suffered thru it
Sometimes you just gotta talk to the universe within you. Be upfront and honest about your needs/want. Attract the goodness that you fully and wholly deserve. The universe is listening.
Nearly 6,000 women responded to a Times call-out about their lives in a private, patriarchal society, expressing their fears, frustrations and ambitions.
âWeâre not allowed to even go to the supermarket without permission or a companion, and thatâs a simple thing on the huge, horrendous list of rules we have to follow.â â DOTOPS, 24
âThe male guardianship makes my life like a hell!! We want to hang out with our friends, go and have lunch outside. I feel hopeless.â â JUJU19, 21
âI donât mind taking my dadâs approval in things he should be a part of. These very strong social bonds you will never, ever understand.â â NOURA
These are three of the nearly 6,000 women from Saudi Arabia who wrote to The New York Times last week about their lives.
We had put a call-out on our website and on Twitter in conjunction with the publication of âLadies First,â a Times documentary I directed about the first Saudi elections in which women were allowed to vote and run for local office.
Saudi Arabia is an incredibly private, patriarchal society. While I was making the film, many women were afraid to share their stories for fear of backlash from the male relatives who oversee all aspects of their lives as so-called guardians. We wanted to hear more about their fears, their frustrations, their ambitions.
Saudi Arabia has one of the worldâs highest rates of Twitter use, and our posts rocketed around. We were overwhelmed by the outpouring.
Most of the responses focused on frustration over guardianship rules that force women to get permission from a male relative â a husband, father, brother or even son â to do things like attend college, travel abroad, marry the partner of their choice or seek medical attention. Some women talked about the pride they had in their culture and expressed great distrust of outsiders. But many of them shared a deep desire for change and echoed Juju19âs hopelessness.
There was an angry backlash under a Twitter hashtag using Arabic for âDonât tell The New York Times.â And there was a backlash to the backlash: â#donât_tell_theNewYork_times that if your father rapes you and you run away, then you will go to prison, and if they let you out, then they will send you back to him.â
A Life Restricted
âI got into an accident once in a taxi, and the ambulance refused to take me to the hospital until my male guardian arrived. I had lost a lot of blood. If he didnât arrive that minute, I wouldâve been dead by now.â â RULAA, 19 - Riyadh
âEvery time I want to travel, I have to tell my teenage son to allow me.â
â SARAH, 42 -Â a doctor in Riyadh
âMy sister went to a bookstore without taking permission from her husband, and when she returned, he beat her up without restraint.â
â AL QAHTANIYA, 28 -Â Riyadh
âThe door of the school where I work is closed from early morning till noon. There is a man guarding the door. Even if a teacher is done with her classes, she cannot leave. Metal gates keep us as prisoners.â â MALAK, 44 -Â Riyadh
âI left the home and sought refuge with a human rights organization in Saudi. I told them about my problems with my father, and they were not able to do anything, and they advised me to go to the police to demand protection from my father. When I went to the police, my father had already informed them that I fled his home. I told the police everything, and they said that I did something wrong/committed a horrible crime in leaving the home of my father, and they placed me in prison!
âThe first three days I spent in solitary, then they transferred me to the general ward. There were women there who committed crimes like killing and stealing.â â TYPICAL SAUDI GIRL, 23 -Â Riyadh
An Emotional Toll
â[My guardian] forbids visits to my female friends or going to shopping malls by myself. It is a complete and total isolation from all the joys in life.â
â MALAK, 28 -Â Abha
âItâs like Iâm in handcuffs, and the society, the law, the people [are] against us. Thatâs why most women choose to marry in their early 20s as a way to escape, and guess what? The man she marries is no different from her brother or father.â â BASHAYR, 19 -Â Al-Hasa
âHe wonât allow me to work, even though I need the money. He also doesnât provide all my needs. I canât recall the last time he cared about what I needed or wanted. He is married to four women and completely preoccupied with them, and he doesnât allow me to travel with my mother. I suffer a lot, even in my social life. He controls it completely and doesnât allow me to have friends over or go to them. He forces me to live according to his beliefs and his religion. I canât show my true self. I live in a lie just so that I wouldnât end up getting killed.â â DINA, 21 -Â Riyadh
âItâs suffocating. Iâd rather kill myself than live with it. I hold on to the smallest hope I have that someday this will change.â â H41, 19 - Riyadh
A Future in Guardiansâ Hands
âIâve had to give up on a number of educational opportunities because he (my guardian) didnât think a doctor needed a cultural exchange program or a symposium he didnât understand. Iâve been trying to have him let me marry the man I love for the past two years.
âIâm in charge of peopleâs lives every day, but I canât have my own life the way I want.â â A. M., 30 -Â a doctor in Jidda
âI had finally gotten a scholarship to get my masterâs abroad. And it was my dream, which I waited and worked hard for, for many years, and I got the necessary grades. But because I would have no man â a so-called guardian â with me, my scholarship and travel were rejected. My guardian also forces me to cover my face, even though it should be a personal and religious freedom.â
â GHADAH, 27 -Â Riyadh
âIâm currently struggling with my father and trying to make him approve that I go to medical school. Itâs my last year of high school, and I have no idea if heâs going to approve that or not. I have no idea what my future holds. My future is in this ignorant/sexist manâs hands, and I canât do anything about it.â
The hijab isnât just a piece of cloth for this woman and many women all over the globe. Itâs about men policing and taking control over womenâs bodies.
If your fathers didnât exist, would any of your mothers behave the way they do, believe in the things they do, restrict or push you in the ways they do?
I went to the same school as you in Blackburn, I was a white boy (it wasn't easy for me too) and I want to say something I could of never said, I admired you so much for what you had been through and I want to you know I'm glad you are happy now and good luck to the rest of your life x
Omg please come off anon! Thank you, that means so much x
Raped by her stepfather, the girl is now at least 20 weeks pregnant, and under Indian law she may not be entitled to an abortion.
In a case that has become a glaring example of both impunity for rapists and a lack of womenâs reproductive rights in India, a court must decide whether the pregnant girl is entitled to an abortion.
A medical board in the northern Indian state of Haryana said on Monday that the girlâs life had not been endangered by the pregnancy, a necessary condition under the law for most abortions conducted after 20 weeks.
Letâs hope this poor baby doesnât have to go through the pregnancy.Â
On a brighter note, this is a case similar to this one which led to the full legalization of abortion in France. Donât despair, Indian friends, I hope this will get better for everyone of you.
Exmuslim Woman who lives everyday in fear: Islam has ruined my life. It deprives me of all my rights. I canât love who I want to love. I am my fatherâs property till I am my husbandâs. I hate the hijab/niqab. Islam is misogynistic. The quran is full of contradictions. My parents would kill me if they found out. I canât keep living like this.Â
Western Muslim Woman who grew up in a Liberal Family and has never read the quran: Islam doesnât say that! Thatâs not the correct interpretation!! Thatâs not real Islam!! hashtagreligionofpeace!!!
Random Tumblr Person:Â STOP BEING ISLAMOPHOBIC!!! ISLAM IS PEACEFUL!!!
Iâm going to tell you what a demon once told me: It is okay to want your own happiness. Itâs okay to care about yourself the most. Itâs okay to do whatâs healthy for YOU. When someone hits you, itâs okay to hit back and then ask them what the hell they expected. Itâs okay. You are not obligated to sit there and smile and swallow every bit of shit everyone heaps on you. You are more than furniture, youâre more than window dressing, youâre not their shiny toy. Youâre human, and you have the right to say âThat was shitty of you.â You have a right to say âLet me feed that back to you; tell me, how does it taste?â You have a right to protest your own mistreatment and set boundaries for respectful interactions. The rest of the world doesnât realize you have this right, and they will act offended and appalled when you exercise it, but it is yours.
Sonneillon V. (via lazypacific)
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