Treacherous

These are my confessions, spilled like ink.

[prettypoetry]

I stopped writing when I met you. I thought I could only speak of the bad. I thought I was made for boys who could not love, for men who could not see. I’ve loved you since I was seventeen; you’re all I’ve known since I was seventeen. Two years have passed, I still love you, but I am writing again, and that is a sign in its own. I was a newborn babe in March. I’d grown to know your ways, to know your footsteps pacing down the hall. I’d mastered the things to say when you get impatient with me, when you tell me that I am unlovable. I carried enough love for you and I on my back and that September when the storm came – I swear I tried to change. I tried to be sweeter, birdlike. I tried to paint the sky rose once more, I tried to quench the sun from its honey. I tried to wake you up from this bad dream. But you didn’t want to be helped, did you? You clipped my wings and asked me to stay, you begged this hummingbird for all of her nectar. More, more, more. Amor, it is now January and I’m afraid that I have given it all to you.          Every                     last                             drop                                      . I am sorry that you fell in love with a thorn, a dead-beat bird. I apologize for my emotions, those that come in waves. Amor! Forgive me for my persistence as I tried to water your concrete shoulders. But most of all, forgive me for I am writing again. I am writing again and my mind wanders to places I wish it would not.

Your hummingbird.  a.a (via @prettypoetry)

[prettypoetry]

to my abuser a wolf with a scarlet sharp mouth decided i held a vulnerable attraction. dainty as a petal, potent like liquor, he licked his lips, pear and pink magnolia. a whistle here, a fondle there, naivety written across my chest and my faulty need to deceive prude, tease, closeted slut, he says my purity is hidden beneath the length of my skirt, that my breasts are laced with value. he lures me to the forest and pins me down like art – he abandons his sheepish cloak i am a girl, that catastrophic. too uptight, hasn’t been fucked right his words like fangs, his hands are his claws my heart sinks and my cheeks flush: i am the lamb who begs the shepherd to stay behind, to hide under silk sheets i cry i curse his name he is the reason i can no longer trust strange men, why i cannot be alone with them why i panic when they wink or ask me to dinner, why i blame myself for these wounds

a.a ( @prettypoetry )

[prettypoetry]

100 Lessons I Will Teach My Daughter 1. Being a girl does not limit you. 2. If anyone tries to tell you that you cannot do something because of this, prove them wrong and do it better. 3. Don’t try to grow up too quickly. 4. Don’t touch your eyebrows when you’re young. I learned the hard way. 5. Don’t listen when adults tell you that a boy is mean to you because he likes you. You will grow up with an illusion that it’s okay for men to disrespect you. 6. Know when to walk away. Stray away from anything that no longer makes you happy. 7. Be careful who you vent to. 8. Wear that red lipstick. 9. Be kind to everyone you meet. 10. Everyone is fighting their own battles. 11. Don’t let him complete you. You are not a half. 12. Wear sunscreen. 13. Your grades do not define you. 14. Try to see the best in everyone. 15. People will let you down. Learn to pick yourself up. 16. If no one wants to build a home with you, build one for yourself. 17. Fall in love with yourself. 18. Learn how to say ‘‘no.’’ 19. Never be afraid to talk to me. 20. Take care of your girlfriends when you’re drinking. 21. It may taste like juice, but trust me, it isn’t. 22. Don’t ever drink and drive. 23. Advil and Gatorade. 24. Do not be afraid to love. 25. Boys will break your heart, regardless of the pretty things he says. 26. It’s okay not to be okay. 27. Take as many baths as you need. 28. Take care of your skin. 29. Intelligence is beautiful. 30. Never skip breakfast if you can help it. 31. Have an opinion. Do not silence your voice. If it’s worth fighting for, fight fiercely. 32. Argue with people if you need to. 33. There is a kind of man you need to avoid at all costs. You’ll know it when you meet him. 34. Respect yourself and the people around you. 35. Take pictures. 36. Pets are a lifetime commitment. 37. Reject gender roles. 38. Don’t be afraid to ask for my help. I couldn’t talk to my parents. I want to be there for you. 39. Travel 40. Get lost in a city you’ve never been to. 41. Don’t be naïve. 42. Hold onto your best friend. 43. Go skinny dipping. 44. Don’t be afraid to take a mental health day. Drink tea, bake cookies, and watch a sad movie. 45. Grades aren’t everything, but just know that that degree will take you places. 46. When he kisses you dizzy, make sure to keep your head straight. 47. It might take your breath away, but everyone needs air at some point. 48. It’s okay to cry when you hear those songs he played for you on the radio months later. 49. When he tells you how pretty you looked in your favourite dress, you will recall his eyes on you. 50. It’s fine to hide it in the back of your closet for a few months. 51. Don’t mistake a spark for a flame. 52. Sometimes, names will taste bitter. 53. Do not take sex lightly. 54. You will always remember your first, so choose wisely. 55. The number of people you sleep with does not define you. 56. I will love you regardless of who you love. 57. It’s okay to make mistakes. 58. Never chase someone who does not want you. If he wanted to he would’ve. 59. Not everyone will notice the galaxies inside of you. I always will. 60. Sneak out. Stay out past your curfew. Make me worry. Make me angry. 61. Come home with an amazing story. 62. Know how to throw a mean punch. 63. Drink lots of water. 64. Take care of your body. 65. Try out for a sports team. 66. Put thought into all your gifts. 67. Boys and girls can have platonic relationships. 68. Get out of the house. Your best memories will always be under the sun or the stars. 69. Do not let the media’s perception of what ‘‘beauty’’ is make you feel inadequate. 70. People will take advantage of you. 71. Call your grand-mother. 72. High school will not be the best days of your life. 73. However, enjoy it while you can. You will miss some of it. 74. Think before you speak. 75. Be ambitious. 76. Sometimes you miss the memories. Not the person. 77. Eat that extra slice of cake. 78. Spoil yourself once in a while 79. Always dress for yourself. 80. Don’t let people walk all over you. 81. Keep a diary. 82. Read. A lot. 83. Music will help you through anything. 84. Take pride in your work. 85. Drink champagne and dance on tables. You’re only young once. 86. Chocolate is good for your soul. 87. Save your money. 88. But offer to pay for dinner when you can. 89. Empower yourself. Everyday. 90. Walk with your head held high. 91. Go for someone who is proud to have you. Not because you’re pretty, but because they value you as a person. 92. Create art. Paint. Write. Sing. 93. When it’s over, leave. Don’t continue watering a dead flower. 94. If you like it, wear it. 95. Make mistakes. Learn from them. 96. You don’t have to be pretty like her. You can be pretty like you. 97. Often times, the most peculiar people will have the most interesting things to say. 98. Don’t leave the people you love alone. 99. No one is going to save you. 100. You are not a girl. You are a storm with skin.

a.a (via prettypoetry)

[prettypoetry]

I am happy. I am in love. And somehow, I haven't been able to write since. I cannot seem to make myself spill ink like I once did, for I do not know how to write about the things that make me whole. I do not know how to write when I am not hurting. I am learning how to live all over again, and I am adjusting how to express those emotions. Thank you for being patient with me. I will write again, soon. I promise. In time, I will write again. In time, I will write of the love that makes my blood pulse, of the love that makes my lips ache. In time, I will write again, once I remember how to write again.

— a.a. @prettypoetry

[prettypoetry]

December. I am gold. Like the moonlight. My lips still taste like the alcohol on your breath the first night we met. They are warm and swollen. Your kiss memorized in my brain. I am floating on a cloud. My heart begins to thaw as your hand touches mine. The snowflakes lace between my hair like a million little crystals. I know I should be cold but winter is warm in your coat. You’re an Indian summer, it’s the middle of winter. January. I am silver. I am your new year’s kiss. My fingers are laced through your hair and I am laying on your couch. You play the Bob Dylan record we bought last week, you strum my feelings along with your chords. Your fingers are beautiful, gentle yet strong. I feel safe in your sheets, you tell me about your dreams. I fall for you. It is too cold for our love, you tell me that all that is silver eventually rusts. February. I am grey. I am a shattered mirror, my life lacks the colours you once brought. It is still snowing and I long for it to rain and wash away my thoughts. I bathe a lot, to rid your touch, I drown myself every night. It is still cold and I burry my face in your scarf. My friends are showered with flowers and promises. They wonder where you are. I do too and curse your name. My tears flood my room and the moonlight fades. Your name tastes bitter. March. I am red. I light cigarette after cigarette, knowing how much you hate the smoke. I picture you saving my tired lungs and planting flowers on my chest once more. The phone rings again but I have grown and know better. I wonder if you think of me, I wonder why I still do. I see your friend on the street, we speak of you. He tells me your eyes grew sad. I light one more. April. I am blue. Like the eyes that meet my own. He kisses me, but I think of you. He tastes different and he does not keep me warm. I feel nothing, I feel numb. Brown is still my favourite colour but I cannot find it in his ocean. The snow has melted away my tears, but I can still feel myself slipping away. I am torn between absent onyx and present azure. You call my phone… May. I am white. I am older and have turned a new page. Don’t get me wrong, I am still as confused as ever and your name is still on my lips despite our short lived romance, but I’ve moved on, don’t you mind. I can feel my heart like it’s still breaking and stains might appear once in a while on the white canvas of my new-found home, but I’ve closure. I’ve loved and I’ve lost, I’ve grown and learned. I love myself once more.

a.a  (via prettypoetry)

[hello-lolo-blog1]

And you tried to change, didn’t you? Closed your mouth more. Tried to be softer, prettier, less volatile, less awake… You can’t make homes out of human beings. Someone should have already told you that. And if he wants to leave, then let him leave. You are terrifying, and strange, and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love.

Warsan Shire, For Women Who Are Difficult To Love  (via alunit)

[tremblingwarsong]

he calls me angel, when all i’ve wanted to be, is a gun. it feels like blood in my mouth, and the moon between my legs; something’s not right, but it doesn’t feel bad / maybe im the girl in a black leather jacket, with a rose embroidered on it. maybe i’m a girl, so pure that stars shine on my skin. maybe i’m a girl, so dirty, that the stars feel like muddy fingertips;                                     i’m not a girl, that catastrophic.                                    / i tell him, i don’t want to be touched, without bruises /                                                          now                         he licks the back of neck, for dramatic affect.                                  i scream, poisonous to the world.                                                     i feel pretty.

[lifeinpoetry]

the moon has tangled up your hair so you can be a wolf when you press it with your sharp red mouth

Bob Schofield, from Moon Sleep (via lifeinpoetry)

[cancergology]

Your eyes are like....

Please use your MOON and RISING signs ~

Aries: the first morning of the spring, fire reflecting through, warmth that melts the ice away gently but fast

Taurus: the first flowers of the year, dawn of the day, beauty of the world, relaxed and gentle, hot tea after work, silent but meaningful like forest

Gemini: the curious eyes of child, reflecting the colorful mind, like the morning breeze, little fairies dancing in the rain

Cancer: strong but full of understanding the complexity of empathy, the bright summer nights, reflection in the surface of the lake

Leo: work of art, bright like sun but understanding like moon, midsummer day and celebrating, sparklers in the water

Virgo: warm cup of coffee in the morning, small but strong flowers, the morning rain, shine of the diamonds and purity of first snow

Libra: the first star of the night, window reflecting you, understanding of the person, slowly burning candles on a winter night, cozy fall days

Scorpio: the moon and the stars of the night, coldness of the winter and heat of the summer, passion of the tiger and understanding of the deep sea

Sagittarius: the adventures of the summer, the sparkles of the fire, meant for understanding the life, snow angels and snowball fights

Capricorn: ambition that goes over the sky, the moon and the universe, warmth of a hug on a winter day, stability of a maple

Aquarius: understanding humanity and everything beyond, dancing in the summer rain, galaxies of the universe

Pisces: looking through the rose glasses, where the worlds top secrets are kept, white clouds of the sky, snowflakes falling from the sky

[makethelastonecount]

I wonder if anyone has ever written about me

[prettypoetry]

12:34 we build a shelter under covers snow white hotel sheets 12:37 i show you my favourite song, you do not like this song 12:45 i can hear your heart beat from across the bed 12:46 i ask you why you’re nervous, you have this tedious habit 12:50 our friends are sound asleep i’ve drowned time looking in your eyes 12:56 you tell me you like me i know you’ll stop eventually 1:01 i like you too, and kiss you under the constant moon 1:32 you tell me about you, your dreams and your visions 1:34 you’re twice the man he ever was… 1:52 you’re paying your way through college you raised your brother and your sister 2:05 i play in your hair i’m afraid to play with your heart 2:06 you’re too good for me 2:18 i tell you about my dad how the men in my life tend to flee 2:46 we fall asleep hand in hand i’ve left my walls on the nightstand 3:25 you’re dreaming of a girl that isn’t me red dress, sunkissed suburban dream 4:16 you’re still here in the morning 4:16 you’re too good for me… a.a

Vacancy (via @prettypoetry)

[brizzlewritesthings]

I feel your absence like a noose around my neck. I look at you and I ache. Something inside me twists. It wants to get out. All of me is reaching towards you. I feel your hands like ghosts. My skin remembers what it was like to be warm. Like the sun was burning, burning, burning inside me. We slept under the same moon. We laughed under the same sky. Somewhere, all of that is raining back down on me. I lift my face and greet it. I lift my face and remember even though I know you forgot. I lift my face anyway. I kiss the rain and wish it were you.

(via brizzlewritesthings)

[prettypoetry]

the stars in my brain are a collateral mess my thoughts slip from me like drunken ink through my rotten core why is it that we would rather look into screens and mindlessly talk about others than get drunk on summer wine and tongue kiss in your Chevy under the moonlight we write out our feelings and our dreams into spineless journals we shall never share with each other; visions and hopes we will never tell my heart flutters through my soul, I can feel it dancing in my chest I’m in love, not with you but with the world which we live in, though it can be a dark and broken at times, it’s all I know So I’ll drink myself to sleep tonight, and kiss this lithium goodnight – missing you comes in waves…

a.a ( @prettypoetry )

[prettypoetry]

i knew it when we first got drunk you told me i was beautiful i knew it when you said i was like your sister i met her i realized just how brilliant she was i knew it when your mother asked me to stay for supper i knew it when we fit all eight of us in your car i knew it when you saved the passenger seat for me i knew it when we were both high and we finished the entire box of oreos in one sitting i knew it when i wished there were more hours in a day i knew it when we slept together in my mother’s twin bed i knew it when i noticed the sun in your smile i knew it when i could not find the moon one night and you were the only voice i wanted to hear i knew it when i missed you at 3 pm i knew it when i wrote you this poem a.a

i knew i loved you then. @prettypoetry 

[maryjblige]

[perrfectly]

Come sleep with me: we won’t make love, love will make us.

Julio Cortáza (via perrfectly)

[inkskinned]

i. hey i heard that you’re actually somewhere good now and not thinking about me but remember when we   ii. oh! hi, it’s so crazy to see you out here in the world,  i’m good, i’ve been living and i  don’t cry into my ice cream at  three in the morning and    iii. about all those voicemails and those text messages, i was drunk - no i was  high - no i was uh i was honestly just sad and missing you  not that i  miss you because   iv. long time no see,  did you even feel anything when you broke me   v. it’s been a long time since we spoke,  right? we’re both adults and let’s be honest we have two different lives and two different hearts and now you barely know anything about me except the things i’m still trying to change because i don’t want you to be any part of me i mean   vi.  the world’s a small place and here we are, occupying the same train, is it  fate   vii. hey i heard that you’re doing well but honestly i don’t know what to say to you because  you put me through hell.

practicing in the mirror for conversations that won’t occur pt 1 // r.i.d (via inkskinned)