OVERHEARD LA / SENTENCE STARTERS
“ That’s all I want… to be someone’s first thought once they get WiFi. ”
“ Look, I just came here for some coconut water. Not a fucking life coach. ”
“ Sometimes I think I want to have a baby and then I just think I am not even responsible enough for white jeans. ”
“ Are these shirts bisexual? ”
“ Her dog blocked me on Instagram. ”
“ Every new friend I make is another person who might ask me to drive them to the airport in the future. And I don’t need that. ”
“ We kept making out even when the parking officer was writing us our tickets. ”
“ Sorry, I’m late. There was so much traffic… Also, I left at the time we were supposed to meet. ”
“ You moan more eating this ice cream than you do when we have sex. ”
“ He needs to readjust his priorities. He takes two days to respond but two seconds to cum. ”
“ I wanna get a tattoo, but nothing in my life has meaning. ”
“ I know it looks like I fucked a high-school freshman and stole all his clothing, but it’s a full moon so fuck off. ”
“ Yeah, he was speaking as if it was a personal experience but turns out it was just a meme. ”
“ We broke up three months ago but we’re still figuring out the custody of our vacuum and two corgis. ”
“ He always said we should never go to sleep while fighting. So I broke up with him at 3am. ”
“ Do you ever fuck up so badly you somehow end up on top? ”
“ He asked me what I like, and I told him light hair pulling. So the next time we had sex, I was on top, and he pulled my hair from the front. ”
“ I'm an influencer in my own life. ”
“ No, no, the real problem is that Kenny Loggins rhymes danger zone with DANGER ZONE. ”
“ Do I look good in sunglasses or do I just look like a blind person? ”
“ What’s a nice way to say I’m down to hang out but not looking to hook up? ”
“ I don't have one-night stands, so I always have to sleep with them twice. ”
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