(elle fanning, twenty-seven, cis woman, she/her) you do not know me but rest assured i know you, MISS LYDIA ELSWORTH. you are the GOVERNESS TO THE HOUSE OF CLAREMONT. you maybe be known for your SINCERITY but it is only a mask for the true nature of your CARELESS ways. however, i am not here to spread slander on the queenβs jewels, though i suspect you are her SUNSTONE. the ton says your name reminds them of CARRYING YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE, ALWAYS LEAVING SOMETHING UNFINISHED - YOU CAN'T BEAR FOR IT TO END, THE FLUTTER OF A BUTTERFLY'S WING, FALLING JUST BEFORE THE FINISH LINE. how scandalous! you have been warned, dear reader, that i will prove if this is true and share every last detail.
GENERAL
name : lydia elisa elsworth
birthday: 8th march
family: alexander elsworth ( father ), jane elsworth ( mother, deceased), sibling
sexuality: bisexual, biromantic
traits: compassionate, caring, altruistic, charming, mealy-mouthed, careless, proud, brazen, hotheaded
character inspiration : katara ( atla ), sybil crawley ( downton abbey ), gilbert blythe ( anne with an e ), lucy gray baird ( the ballad of songbirds and snakes )
BACKGROUND
βΎ when youβre born, you know nothing but love. youβve inherited your fatherβs smile and the softness of your motherβs love. youβve always considered it a blessing but as you discover the cruelty of the world, you ask yourself, perhaps youβve been better off if you never knew kindness. βΎ
lydia grew up with love. although her parentsβ marriage was one out of convenience, they were the exception to rule and truly adored each other. they always wanted the best for their children and although they might have been strict at times, lydia knew that they only were when they needed to be.
her father was a doctor and a man who viewed both of his children as equal. whenever heβd have time, heβd share his knowledge. lydia would often accompany him and if not plucking flowers and herbs from their garden. studying them and making remedies out of them.Β
Β then her mother fell ill. with every passing day, becoming the shell of the woman she used to be. so full of life, and yet escaping with every breath sheβd take. it was when lydia became obsessed with the thought of being able to find a cure. collecting all kinds of herbs and attempting to soothe her motherβs pain. in the end it wasnβt enough. she failed. of course. she was young, hopeful and naive.Β
her father was broken at every heartbeat,Β resembling her mother in her last days. it wasnβt easy and more often than not sheβd wish she could just be that little girl again asking her mother for help.Β she wished she couldβve been stronger. but instead she sought some kind of stability in helping out those in need and those who were broken from the war. this wasnβt a place for someone like her but even when her shift wouldβve ended, sheβd stay secretly. giving them her homemade remedies and making sure they wouldnβt share the same loneliness when her mother died.
this is when lydia dared to fall in love. something she told herself she wouldnβt, after witnessing her father become so empty by such a fragile thing. a mistake. they met when she was volunteering again. he was wounded and scared by war and lydia would treat him. it was all so simple despite the chaos and somewhere along the way she found herself falling for that person.Β
( secret reveal )
but it seemed as if love was supposed to slip through her fingers, everytime she could grasp it. the illusion of choice leading her to be hopeful. it was just another night. a particularly bad one where he couldnβt fall asleep due to the pain. the weight of the past pressed on her. memories pushing through the darkness, as she was trying to find anything that could help him. mistaking a healing herb for one poisonous enough to kill someone weak, she gave it to him and before the night could even change heβd be dead.
in the eyes of society he wasnβt important enough that his death would matter anyway. and being as weak as he was, most wouldβve assumed he died because of the war and not her. when she looked in the mirror, lydia would her eyes reflecting the same look her father had. but sheβd be stronger, close her heart and move on.
perhaps it was better anyway. people like her werenβt supposed to be more anyway. this way she could ignore all those memories, only allowing them to haunt her in her nightmares. when she was accepted as a governess in the claremont house, she knew her heart would never be fully into it. a life so different from what sheβd envisioned. but the payment was good. better than most of the other households and she needed it. for her family. the only ones who were supposed to matter anyway.Β
WANTED CONNECTIONS ( these are just ideas , can be combined, tweaked and are not fixed or anything ! )
pen pal: someone she'd never met in person but who she dared to share her thoughts with and what she was going through.
someone she's providing medical treatment in secret: this person somehow knows that lydia has enough medical knowledge that she might help them. of course, she isn't a real physician but it's enough that it gets them by. lydia would've probably been reluctant at first, as she doesn't wish to get back into it and accept her life as a governess.
someone who is giving her books containing medical knowledge as well as knowledge about all kinds of plants, herbs etc. they could do it solely because they're kind but maybe lydia gives them something in return.
a slow-burn love, will they won't they vibes : this is someone lydia knows she could fall in love with but doesn't dare to. she'll probably tell them, she doesn't feel the same ( and perhaps it's true first ) to avoid being hurt. but there's always some tension lingering ( bonus point: they might've looked similar to lydia's past love for angsty reasons ) // or/and something based on this because i don't know happiness
best friend: lydia is very sociable and does have many "friends". but there are not many people she considers to be close. they're however, her closest friend, and while they love gossiping , they also enjoy shared silence.
someone who knew the person who died because of lydia and are also lowkey suspecting her
LOCATION : kensington gardens & grosvenor street
STATUS: open
fingers brushed carefully against the heads of wildflowers, as if she admired them simply for their beauty. a smile tugging her lips, and only if observed closely revealing the hint of mischief hiding a secret. the truth was sheβd been studying each of them in hope theyβd be useful for her homemade remedies. her gaze only shifting to make sure no one was watching her, when sheβd slip the chosen blooms into the pocket beneath her cloak. spotting a fine sprig of feverfew, lydia bent low to pluck it but a shadow falling across her stopping her mid-theft. straightening at once, she turned, smoothing her skirt in an attempt to appear as if she was simply admiring a simple sprig. heat tinted her cheeks and yet she lifted her chin, offering a bright smile.
β i did not intend to steal those flowers.β as the words escaped her, the feigned innocence fell with it. yet, sheβd try. β good heavens, no, i would never be so bold.β she could feel the hidden pocket pressing against her now. β i simply picked up those flowers that were looking at me so sadly. trampled and abandoned, forgotten by the gardener. so i thought, i shall put them to much better use than a vase ever could. βΒ
starter status: open!!
location: gunter's!!(on a sleepy afternoon)
the clink of delicate china was nearly drowned out by the steady hum of voices filling gunterβs that afternoon. what had once been a modest confectionary now thrived, swollen with the life and leisure of the ton eager to be seen lingering over lemon ices and sugared almonds after a morning of social obligation. miss acelya kara sat at a table tucked near one of the tall windows, where the light slanted in pale and lazy, catching the faint shimmer of her silk gown. her gloved fingers toyed idly with the silver spoon resting beside a half-melted sorbet, movements slow, deliberate, as though every gesture was meant to be observed. her bonnet hung from the back of her chair, abandoned in favor of letting the warm, late-spring air ghost across the nape of her neck. from the way she leaned back β just so β it was clear acelya was not in any particular hurry. there was a languidness to her posture, a quiet defiance of the breathless pace with which the other patrons chattered and flitted about. she watched them through the veil of her lashes, her dark eyes heavy with something that might have been boredom or something far more dangerous. the untouched pastry before her sat forgotten, while her focus drifted elsewhere: to the door that jingled each time a newcomer entered, to the soft scrape of boots against the marble floor. to the possibility that somewhere among the restless crowd, a presence might arrive that could truly command her attention. there was a knowing curve to her mouth β a smile that did not seek to be friendly, but rather to unsettle, to intrigue. a smile that said she had already weighed every soul in the room and found them wantingβ¦ until, perhaps, now. the air seemed to shift as someone paused by her table. without lifting her gaze fully, acelya let her fingers still against the spoon, her voice low and unhurried as she spoke. "i had begun to think no one of consequence would dare disturb me," she murmured, the words almost a purr, rich with the sort of amusement that could either disarm or wound depending on the listenerβs daring. she tilted her head then, just enough to meet their gaze properly, her expression a tantalizing mix of curiosity and challenge. "tell me β do you intend to prove me wrong?"
β family could scarcely be considered a disturbance, or am i mistaken ? β a careful smile painted her lips slightly, tone light, bouncing on the heaviness beneath it. her body shifted, leaning back and then forward with discomfort. as if trying to find a posture of ease that remained out of reach.
Β havva wasnβt her sister, although bearing her name now, and only after her death she found wonder in who sheβd been. someone who had worn the world more lightly than she ever could. a realization that didnβt need to settle but only resurfaced.
Β β i wasnβt aware that any proof of myself was required. enlighten me, of what offense am i guilty ? β a brittle laugh forced its way through a dry throat. scratching and only making a sound resembling one. there was something disquieting in the familiarity between them. lingering. as if she was about to be caught. yet, there was no way sheβd know. she had been careful. she had no choice. this wasnβt a game. not when she refused to play it.Β
β i simply hoped for a conversation with you. β words wrapped in a smooth lie.Β talking to anyone who knew her, them, was dangerous. voluntarily, taking off the armor. β but if you wish to be alone, i am certain another occasion to talk to you will present itself very soon.β
OPEN STARTER | OPEN TO ALL
LOCATION | GENTLEMAN JACK'S
It was all coming down, every memory, every affection shared and moment between them. It was no secret that Tobias was born with priveldge and would have it all his life with being an heir to a good and important house and he'd never been told he wasn't enough and never felt it until now. So he took to Gentleman Jack's, drowing his sorrows in countless glasses and bottles paid for with coin he was emptying out without thought. The silence gave way for thoughts coming in his head. His own actions had done this. His own attempt of rebellion made him undesirable to the one that he wanted the most and what should have been a joyous reunion was a moment of sorrow for him now. Yes, he could have the one he loved but in secret. To watch live a life away from him with another.... he hated it.
He doesn't look up at the person that joined him, just puts down more coins and slides it in their direction. "If you want a drink, there's plenty of coin for you to have whatever you want. A gift from me." Bitterly said as he downs another drink and waits for another to appear.
araya couldnβt stand places like these, shrines of what was lost and about to be. a reminder that for some, money was nothing but a spectacle to parade. she didnβt know why she stepped inside. curiosity sheβd liked to have believed. yet, something more shameful threatened to reveal that excuse, leaving it as simple and small : escape.
settling near someone who appeared as if he wouldnβt talk to her ( or question her why she was here ), a sharp sigh escaped her. the tension of her secret trip finding its way into the corners of the establishment. her back straightening in feigned confidence, wrapping around her like armor,Β easily mistaken for arrogance as she observed the others.yet nothing caught her attention. no distraction interesting enough that she couldnβt help but notice a voiceΒ and the clatter of coins sliding across wood.Β
β iβd rather just have the coins. β she said, tone flat as if she meant it. and perhaps she did.Β leaning back, suspicion sharpened her gaze. β is it simple kindness you're offering, or are you making amends for something? if itβs the latter, i think youβll need more than a few coins. β
Iβve loved you ever since Iβve known you Jo β I couldnβt help it, and youβve been so good to me β And i've tried to show and you wouldn't let me. We're just fine. But i must make you hear now and give me an answer because I cannot go on like this !
Teddy, can you please ... please don't .
I gave up billiards. I gave up everything you didn't like. I'm happy I did. It's fine and I waited and I never complained because I ... You know, I figured you'd love me, Jo.
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