So i talked about how Killermare can be healthy and while that is my general default depiction of them, you know me. I like my angst :) This has been heavily fed by primarily two posts by @rahafwabas for how they described the relationship between these two so I will reference them. (tagging them directly just this once in case they wanna see this beautiful trainwreck)
Now. Mutual, unhealthy codependency :)
For a very long time Killer viewed Nightmare as his savior, his king and his god. On top Nightmare gave him purpose and a feeling of usefulness, together with occasional moments of softness. It was enough to make him believe that Nightmare was everything and thus he was loyal to a fault. Mix rahafwabas' canon with just almost delusional devotion and you get my gist. On top comes that, while i don't really know if it's canon or not, i view Killer as incredibly observant and intelligent. Mixed with the long time he spent with Nightmare, safe to say the "i know everything about him" aspect just sharpened the devotion dangerously.
It took a VERY long time for Color to break through to him because Killer didn't want to admit that the person he thought he needed, who he worshipped, was harming him, intentionally or not. This caused a lot of fun stuff from just denial to "i can fix him" to finally opening his eyes and leaving. It did him well. Even though long after he thought he'd moved on he's still suffering from the events of that relationship.
Now Nightmare is a whole other beast entirely. This man is lonliness' final boss. Betrayed by the only person he ever trusted, he spent 500 years alone and made being a hater his entire personality. He thought himself an unlovable abomination and was gonna act like it. And then he got Killer. The first person who didn't run away or try to change him or anything. Killer was just there. And he stayed. And he looked at him with so much devotion. It was intoxicating. So Nightmare imprinted hard on him, becoming dependant on the obedience and confirmation. It's his first real connection in years and while his biggest detriment was being unable to show his affection properly because he didn't know how, it was so incredibly important to him. Rahafwabas said that Nightmare referred to Killer as "my knight" and "my killer". There was always this possessive "my". Because that's what Killer was to him. The first person, the first thing, that was ever truly his.
And then Killer woke up. And he left. Leaving Nightmare alone once more. In one post rahafwabas said that if Killer died, between Color and Nightmare, one moved on while the other was unable to and said "you can imagine who's who", leaving it up for interpretation. While i do not doubt Color's love for Killer in the slightest, for the sake of this post and because i always have been a Killermare shipper at heart (plus because Nightmare is so incredibly attached and insecure at heart) it would be Nightmare. Now, he couldn't move on from a death, but death can at least be rationalized. Killer leaving him? Making him feel like he got betrayed all over? Oh Nightmare is SUFFERING. He's not gonna get over that for a VERY long time, if ever. In a previous shitpost i made Killer be the one who, in fits of depression, wants to call Nightmare to return to the status quo he knew and while I still see it in this scenario, Nightmare is both hating and yearning 24/7. When he sees Killer and Color getting together something in him just breaks, shatters into a million tiny pieces. He swears to never love again.
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