It is a fate you we can never escape. @princess–ofthedamned
Death lingers around them, around her, sometimes even swirls around her fingers, red liquid laced in red tips.
‘Red for Christmas?’ Her nail stylist once asked her, a question that earned the questioner with a plain chuckle, followed by a soft curve of her lips, which, by the way, was painted the same color as her nails. ‘No.’ was her plain reply.
Red is the color of sweet, sweet death.
And red is screaming in neon bumper lights, in hands tightly grasping on steering wheel, and in the vessels of her eyes.
Red is screaming at the sight of liquid swirling around one’s body - a body all too familiar for her – a body she had known since its birth.
Samantha brushed off the pain at the pit of her stomach. She swallowed hard, urging the liquid that was about to come out back inside. She closed her eyes at the burning feeling, forcing her to kneel down in revulsion as she hang on tight to her knees.
For a number of days, she had been pretending to improve. Lorraine had signed her up for therapy after her night terrors had became vigorous. Samantha was an actress, a good one at that, as she had every single one of them fooled with her minimal smiles, her seemingly devoted will to get better. Maybe when someone is too broken, they tend to believe that little good things are bound to linger.
It was not like Samantha did not try to get better. She was compliant at the first few days of her therapy, as she too wanted that peace that she was longing for ever since Lorraine ran away from home. But medicines after medicines made her slowly lose touch of who she was. She was forgetting minute by minute of things about her past -- the friendships, people who mattered, moments that made her live and gave her fervor to live. One day, the rushing thoughts came to her mind. What if she forgets her mom? What if she forgets her happy childhood? What if she forgets that a sister exists in her life?
She hated how she made Lorraine’s life arduous. Her sister ran away from home because life back in the UK was getting complicated yet here she was, dragging her sister rearward. She did not feel this worse for the past days but when she woke up this morning, seeing Lorraine with a worried look on her face storm out of their pad for an emergency meeting, had made her think how much of a mess she brought to her life.
“You’ll be fine.” She repeatedly told herself as she tried controlling her retch, preventing herself to litter yet one more moment of make believe forced her to vomit out air as she had not eaten anything yet for the day. She felt bad, and sick, and all the frustration was welling her up and with one final thought, she gathered her strength and roared out her agony.
She didn’t mind the looks that she was getting, or how she looked rather disorderly, but she kept running and running, hoping that when she gets physically tired, it would be enough to numb her back to sleep. Street after street, she did not look back even when she felt eyes locked on her, her seemingly angel had come to stop her from doing anything stupid.
“STOP!”
She thought she heard someone say and she did. To her disbelief, a car rushing towards her direction honked at her.
“Watch where you’re going, miss,” she heard the stranger say, bringing tears to her eyes as this was not the first time she endangered her life. Wiping her tears with her sleeve, she moved two steps back when a motorbike drove en route, too late for the driver to hit the break and not hit the helpless girl that suddenly came in front of him.
Samantha felt herself thrown feet away from where she had stood. Blood, lots of blood, created a pool from where she now lie. Her head laid down to her left.
“Eom...ma...”
She saw her mom, her death mother, smiling back at her as she patted her head. Samantha stared, closing her eyes as she heard the words of assurance...
There’s just too many words that are bickering to get out of me. But given the number of days ahead, the number of days I’d have to live unwanted, keeps me mum.
I am dead inside. Give me anything to live for. Anything, please.
[KKT] So you think I would? You really think I would? We'll see Samantha. This is the last time and I don't fucking care whatever mess you decide to make next time.
[KKT] Such gratitude, little miss. Tick tock tick tock. Remember he's the grenade that holds your secret. The moment you delay, YOU will be over, dear sister.
[KKT} And as if you won’t go down with me. Phew. Fixed it already. I’ll just see you when I see you.
[KKT] A big box awaits at your apartment in Seoul. Your ticket will be given to you by Carter this morning. Pack your things and finish your business. You clean the mess you made.
I apologize for that, but in my defense, you did seem like a half-wit. And you still are. Employee is more like it. I just call her noona to piss her off, really. So what brings you to Seoul from England, Miss Lee?
I do? You're the first person to tell me that. Piss her? Was she pissed a lot? I finally stepped to Seoul because I want to know why Lorraine won't come home to us then. And now I know. Seoul is fascinating... in more ways than I know. I'll be flying back to England the day after tomorrow though.
It’s part of the job, Miss Lee. Well-deserved? I guess you’ll have to prove it. Your sister was quite… how do I put this… a character. I’m sure you’ll be just as, if not more fascinating. You’re right. It is funny to be addressing someone with the same surname after years of studying abroad and being the lone Asian in a sea of people. Odd isn’t it? Great. I have to remain on this half-wit’s good side…
Y-Yeah,,. Funny how you keep on calling me stupid during our first encounter. I forgot that you were my sister's follower even before. With the way you call her your noona... hah. We didn't get to a good start before, Mr. Lee. But I apologize for my ignorance.
Ooohh. Then I guess I'd have to thank you then for taking good care of the company's finances. Majestic, I say. I deserve it anyway. Well, would you like to eat first, Mr. Lee? Funny that I'm calling you by my last name too. Must be destiny. Though he comes off a bit conceited. Well, well...
Eyyy. Don’t be like that. I’m just concerned. About her and you. Fine. Let’s talk about you then. What’s happening lately hmm? Seems like you’ve been changing a lot, look at you right now. Prettier, feistier.
It’s not really the love that I envy, it’s the trust. The feeling that no matter how bad you screw up, there is always someone who will accept you and love you for who you are; not because they have to, just because they can’t not love you.
