secret second blog for my secret desires...some...

Mid 20s NSFW blog bi/pans, enfp, cute lil bunny. consent is IMPERATIVE. no minors please.

[dominants-dominion-v2]

Reblog if you love boobs and hate ICE

[lezkissgifs]

[sunkissedqueer]

This Thanksgiving National Day of Mourning, please consider donating to:

The Native American Rights Fund

Native Wellness Institute

Warrior Women Project

Sitting Bull College

First Nations COVID-19 Response Fund

The Redhawk Native American Art Council

Partnership With Native Americans

First Nations Development Institute

Native American Heritage Association

National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center

[onereallygoodlambonastick]

Help Quileute Tribe Move to Higher Ground

Indigenous Action Media

Restoring Justice for Indigenous Peoples

Native-owned businesses handout

Beyond Buckskin: Buy Native list. Ex:

https://www.haipazazaphezuta.com/shop <-bottle-less shampoo bars, soaps yall

https://www.indigenouswomanmade.com/

https://www.sakarifarms.com/our-story

Food & School Aid for Wayuu Nation in La Guajira: https://gofund.me/d522f1c9

https://www.pulasuco.com/ (organizing ^ funds and also delightful shop equitably platforming/paying indigenous women artists)

Cockpit Country Protection Lawsuit: https://gofund.me/c95a1f5d

https://www.blooddiamondofthepacific.com/

RISE Coalition

The Indian Residential School Survivor Society (IRSSS)

Indigenous Canada coursera

[notwiselybuttoowell]

I was going to link to Standing Rock Institute of Natural History’s gofundme, but it appears it is no longer active. Here’s the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe’s general donation page.

The Standing Rock reservation has an astonishing wealth of fossil remains, and a relatively young paleontology program, but not much in the way of resources. Here’s the program’s Get Involved page, and here’s a really cool video talking about the subject from PBS’s Prehistoric Road Trip, if you have six minutes to spare.

[ob3dientbaby]

i know i run a literal porn blog, but FUCK trump, FUCK ICE, FREE palestine, FREE sudan, POC LIVES MATTER, and remember, ITS OKAY TO PUNCH NAZI'S !!!

if you disagree with any of these, have the honour of blocking me <33

[roughribo]

I want to share something someone told me when I first started out as a dom because it was kind of a lightbulb moment for me as an emotional sadist. At the time I was doing aftercare but I didn't understand what psychologically recovering from a scene really meant. Then someone put it into dom terms and it just sort of clicked. So I thought I'd share in case anyone else needs to hear it.

As a degrader and a sadist it's so hot that some subs will be as pathetic as you want them to be... so don't fuck around with their emotions outside of that, that sub is already literally playing with and altering their emotions for your benefit and pleasure. You're overstressing the emotion muscle if you do and rest is essential to any healthy exercise.

You're not giving their feelings any time to rest and recover if you cause emotional distress outside of playtime and you're not giving them the safety and security to play with their emotions again. If you consistently play with humiliation, degradation, or other forms of psychological sadism, you need to be aware of this and plan accordingly.

Avoid big talks or heavy topics immediately after, and do things that will lift your partner's mood in the days following an intense scene even if their mood doesn't need a lift. While you can't see it, by doing that, you've essentially put an emotional ice pack on a sore muscle.

For physical injuries lift the area affected so it can circulate and heal better. For emotional ones it's the same process, lift their mood so positive feelings can circulate and help the recovery along.

[roughribo]

A little addendum I think bears mentioning since this post has been blowing up my notes lately:

It's easy for doms to understand that some subs are turned on by embarrassment, shame, humiliation, degradation, objectification, etc. That is an easier concept to grasp. But I think that's a bit of a simplified way of putting it and a more accurate way to explain what's going on is that some subs experience embarrassment, shame, humiliation, degradation, objectification, etc from their dom and are turned on by it.

I think putting the emphasis back on the painful emotion the submissive is putting themselves through is such an important distinction that needs to be made more often. Sometimes the fact that the sub is still experiencing these very powerful negative emotions during sex or scenes (for your benefit by the way, doms) gets lost in translation when someone says "it makes me horny when you humiliate me."

But they're NOT just horny when you humiliate them, they're still also humiliated. And for those of you saying "well duh, of course" please just trust me when I say, as a dom myself who went through learning this and has helped so many other doms learn this, that most doms are absolutely not making this connection at all and that's why my post above has been reblogged a bunch of times by both doms and subs.

As a dom, what we are incorrectly assuming is that the input is 'humiliation' and the output is 'horny' based on what we see and how our sub reacts when we play like this. We are not registering that they are also still humiliated because in the moment they're acting horny. It's an easy logical error to make due to faulty observations and this mistake isn't just limited to male doms in my experience. A lot of folks from all walks of life don't quite grasp this at first. And once you do grasp this you can give better aftercare.

The reality is that the output is both horny and humiliation and your aftercare as a dom better contain ways to treat the emotional pain you inflicted on your sub. In this case, reassurance (I'm so proud of you/of how much you took for me) and positive affirmations (you make me so happy, you're so beautiful/smart) are a hell of a drug for making sure their psyche stays intact and recovers properly.

[theropegeek]

text and layout by me

models:  K, @tardiscunttreasures, @camdamage​, @ropebaby​, @jewelryandfire​

Nerve Injury Reference Card from frozenmeursault.com

[depsidase]

[tmevanswrites]

The eBook for my sapphic folk horror novella is finally out!

DESCRIPTION: In the spring of 1958, librarian Riley Danvers leaves the city for Edenfield, a mountain town that shimmers with parties, whispered wishes, and midnight silences. Beneath its beauty lies something strange, and no one unnerves her more than Lily Grant, a charming actress who draws Riley into a world where desire and danger blur together. Edenfield is a gothic romance rooted in folk horror, filled with unease and enchantment.

Special thanks to Edward Axl on Fiverr for the cover.

Side Note: Ignore the horrible spacing with the dates in the novel. I really tried but no matter what I did when I would switch it to kindle, it just wasn't cooperating.

[kissesfemme]

hey 19 year old, i know the attention feels good, but i promise the "dom" in their 30s in your dms does not have good intentions and you should probably block them

[the-black-manor]

REMEMBER: If you bite your partner and it breaks the skin, you need to clean it and bandage it properly as soon as possible. Human bites get infected VERY EASILY.

[certifiedsexed]

Certified Sex ED Post !

[infra-fucker]

And if at all possible for you, go to the doctor. Better to get it looked at and be sure everything is all right. If any signs of anything funky pop up, definitely go to the doctor. Don't fuck around with infections people.

[rainygraveyard]

Signs to watch out for;

Redness

Warmth

Pain

Itchiness

Excess moisture

If you'd like, follow the TIME model to get an overview;

T - Tissue; What does the exposed tissue look like? Crimson/rosy reds are signs of infection.

I - Inflammation/Infection; Does it hurt? If it's warm, red and painful to the touch that is a sign of infection. For inflammation, take anti-histamines or Non-selective NSAID like acetaminophen (like paracetamol) NOT ibuprofen.

M - Moisture. Is the wound leaking any fluids? Excess fluids are a sign of infection. Excess dry and cracking edges can be a sign of allergic reactions to primary bandsges or bandage adhesives, if this is the case use a fatty non-perfumated cream on the edges in a Thin Layer, as cracked dry/irritated skin traps bacteria and can easily lead to infections.

E - Edges; What does the egdes of the would look like? Red, irritated? Are they spreading or shrinking? Yellow scabs or no scabs at all? If there's no scabs, or the scabs are yellow or off color, that is a sign of infection. Some bacterial infections, like staphylococcus will cause yellow-white thick fluids to leak and form edges for example.

Wound care tips;

Use gloves. 1 pair for cleaning the wound and 1 pair for dressing it; sterile equipment isn't necessary unless there's organ contact (which I hope there isn't lol), but clean surroundings are still a must, out down a paper towell to lay out your instruments if possible.

Use 1-movement method; by this I mean when using wet gauze only wipe the wound in one direction. If you have pincers you can roll up the gauze and use the 1 touch method, unrolling it with each swipe so there's no cross contamination.

Use warm, not hot or cold, water. Only dip your gauze once, no re-dipping.

Once your wound is cleaned, switch to clean gloves and dap it NOT WIPE it dry! then you can apply the primary bandage (this means the bandage that has direct wound contact) - if you're afraid of possible infection then I recommend applying antibacterial honey ointment to the wound in a thin layer as primary bandage, putting a secondary bandage on top.

And that's it! Be safe!

[profoundidiot]

People. I’m not going to keep saying this.

When someone is being submissive? Giving up some control? You respect that. They are trusting you, relying on you. Don’t fucking betray that trust. Educate yourself, be respectful and keep them safe.

When someone is dominating you, remember! Their comfort level is just as important as yours. They are relying on you to communicate your needs and problems. Don’t suffer something in silence because you want to make things easy or better.

PEOPLE ARE NOT KINK DISPENSERS. People are. People. With lives and feelings and emotions. Give your partners respect, because they are giving themselves to you.

[bluhairedprincess]

[silksarchive]

@akvela

[silver-bunny-x]

Aftercare. 💙✨

I know most people know what subdrop is, but for the few who don’t I’ll explain.

Subdrop is what happens to your body after you’ve drained your brain of all the hormones and chemicals that it released during a scene or session.

Meaning, after you‘ve come down from your high, you start to feel mentally and emotionally attacked from what just happened. You start to think all these bad things about yourself and how someone normal would not find what just occurred pleasurable in anyways.

That’s why aftercare is important. Showering your sub in compliments,food, cuddle sessions. Just stuff that will make them feel like you care and that you don’t judge them for enjoying what they like.

Another thing, I’m positive that most people don’t know is what topdrop is. It’s the same as subdrop but it affects doms/dommes.

I know some people will be like- “Doms/dommes don’t go through that, nothing like that bothers them.” That’s where you’re wrong.

Remember we’re all human so no one is exempt from feeling used or feeling disgusted with their actions even though they shouldn’t be.

Not many know this but being a dom/domme is exhausting. A good top plans physical punishments or sexual scenes down to the T so their is no room for accidents and after all that planning and executing said plan they sometimes feel bad for doing what they did or even feel used in a sense.

That’s why aftercare is important for both parties. Show them that you care and that you appreciate what they did. Reassure them that they didn’t hurt you in a bad way and that they only did what they did to help you grow. ASK👏 THEM👏 IF👏 THEY’RE👏 OKAY👏!! Especially right after a session.

That can be the difference between showing that you care or not.

AFTERCARE IS A NECESSITY FOR BOTH PARTICIPANTS!!👏💙✨

[somenetied]

Before my first serious suspension session me and my rigger forgot to talk about ✨aftercare✨.

My subdrop consisted of a mild woozy feeling, mind blank, my legs, back and sides were stiff so I wanted to stay there on the floor until I felt stronger again.

Since we hadn't discussed aftercare and I honestly don't know how we forgot about it, they came up next to me on the floor to cuddle, which is a nice gesture and I'm sure that for a lot of people that would hit the nail on the head, but that's not the case for me. I really dislike cuddling, I feel like I can't breathe or I'll make my partner uncomfortable. Even if I didn't feel the need to move before, I'll want to when being cuddled, simply can't stay still. Also I get really hot while cuddling which means I get sweaty and nobody involved wants that.

During aftercare all I need is room to breathe, unwind and a surface where I can curl up on and if I need a blanket, I'm usually able to express it.

After I had gathered myself enough I got up and we were able to finally communicate each other's aftercare needs.

[silver-bunny-x]

This a perfect example. Not everyone’s aftercare involves physical touch. Some people like to be left alone for a while, some people like to instantly do something that keeps them busy (like chores), some people just want to eat and cuddle in a spot by themselves and that’s all fine.

In a case where one partner’s aftercare isn’t physical touch/ being alone but the other partner needs to be touched/ pampered, it’s advisable that you have a third person that you both trust that can administer the proper aftercare for the physical touch partner so they don’t have to wait until the other is done with theirs and just on a whole if your aftercare involves doing something with someone.

If your aftercare methods aren’t compatible- that doesn’t mean that the relationship won’t work. Their are a lot of solutions and you have to be willing to communicate with your partner to find the right one. Ensure that the end result leaves both parties (or more) feeling secure.

[silver-bunny-x]

I know you're tired of seeing this but- I don't care. 😤

[smittytheswitch-deactivated2021]

Aftercare is definitely the MOST IMPORTANT PART!!

Always communicate what you prefer and what works best to ease the fall of the subdrop and topdrop. It doesn’t matter how intense the session or scene is, aftercare still needs to be implemented.

ALWAYS. PARTAKE. IN AFTERCARE.

[thearchivistofnothing-deactivat]

You should also remember too that subdrop and topdrop can happen days after a session. Your body only makes so many happy chemicals at a time, so when you release all of them suddenly, it takes a while for those stores to fill back up.

Not only that, but drop can manifest in many different forms. It can feel like a hangover, or utter exhaustion, or you can wake up just feeling off. You may be in physical pain, which is also tiring. And then there’s the mental state, you could feel depressed, lonely, confused, abandoned, insecure, unloved, and the list goes on.

Know that it’s normal, it’s healthy, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Your body will restore the balance, but communication is key and aftercare is vital. For both sides.

[myspecialgirlthatislost-deactiv]

FUCKING AMEN! I’m a very physically affectionate person and aftercare is a HUGE thing for me. If you consistently ignore someone’s needs for aftercare, they’re going to resent you eventually, so DON’T ignore or dismiss it! And don’t be afraid to ask, there is no “I should already know, I shouldn’t have to ask because that makes me look like I don’t know them when I do!” No, shut up. It makes you look like you give a damn about them and that you love them, which you do! So ask! Like, their respect for you will rise several notches at you asking them and considering their feelings.

And also the thing about it taking several days to recharge/heal, etc. whatever word you want to use, is true. And honestly some people may want more than one kind of aftercare, because they need time to process everything that just happened. For example, if it were me, I’d prefer lots of cuddles and kisses afterwards, and then for the next couple days, having enough to keep me busy without it being super exhausting, and also getting a little extra sleep lol. And the thing about giving aftercare to your dom/top? Preaching to the choir hon! It’s exhausting to be the one in charge all the time and you’re low key constantly worried if you’re doing a good job, or if you’re being too hard, takes a lot of trust and love, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t at least a little bit scared.

It’s really easy to turn the relationship become a one sided selfish thing, and trust me, I’ve been on both sides, and neither side is fun. When you care for your dom/top you’re not just loving on them but you’re also thanking them for the hard work they do and you’re thanking them for loving you, both in a feelings way and in the way of doing a scene with you. I love this post. I don’t see nearly enough posts about aftercare.

[subartrageous]

Very important read!

[transstuffandmore]

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

[undisputeable-deactivated201912]

WHEN 👏🏼 YOU 👏🏼 CHOKE 👏🏼 A 👏🏼 GIRL 👏🏼 DURING 👏🏼 SEX 👏🏼 SQUEEZE 👏🏼 THE 👏🏼 SIDES 👏🏼 OF 👏🏼 HER 👏🏼 NECK 👏🏼 WITH 👏🏼 YOUR 👏🏼 FINGERS 👏🏼 NOT 👏🏼 WITH 👏🏼 YOUR 👏🏼 PALM 👏🏼 YOU’RE 👏🏼 SUPPOSED 👏🏼 TO 👏🏼 TURN 👏🏼 HER 👏🏼 ON 👏🏼 NOT 👏🏼 KILL👏🏼 HER 👏🏼

[dboytheking]

Bingo

[lolitanora]