I felt for a long time my spiritual life was like a desert. I understood the bible i understood the stories but i had no deep love towards to Lord. And that was in part because i did not spend any time in his presence i just was waiting for this passion to come on its own. So i started to pray for God to give me more love for him and He did.
Two days ago, I felt i had to go take a walk. You know how it is said
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Everytime i did get into his presence I always got disturb. And it frustrated me because i wanted to go in his presence but i couldn't not even in my room.
So i went outside and started walking i left my ipod and cellphone i did not want to be distrub by anything No calls No time. Just me and my God. So i walked started to pray and worship him. When a thought came into my head to go climb the closest mountain. This mountain was at 30 mins of walk. And it was already getting dark outside half way there i started to get scared What if i meet weird people and they kidnap me or trew me in the river. Now that i think about it is pretty stupid. But i was scared. This verse i heard this week poped into my head :
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Romans 8:28
i started declaring that was made to worship him and if he wanted me to go on that mountain i would go on that mountain. And no fear would seperate me from what he wanted me to do. When i arrived on the mountain I saw the city lights . I was beautiful. and i knew this is where he wanted me to come. I felt something in my spirit telling me to look at all those lights. And to imagine myself that that's how God saw the humans. That i should not be scared of what people thought of me. That they needed to see God love. I sat there for a while. And then i felt free.
Free from timidity.
The next day i was leading worship at my youth group. I never felt that much confidence to lead Gods people in worship. I loved it. Something happened on that mountain and i want more.