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I Have had last minute things that kept discouraging me and today felt like the worst. I dont like to be last minute it make me stress out on what could go wrong. And there was so much distractions that i didn't take a quality time with God the past week.So i put a worship song on and just let myself sink into his presence. BEST FEELING EVER. Just realizing that my problems are so insignificant compared to his love.

I read in Marc 14:3-9 the story of the lady with the perfum. For her pooring this expensive perfum on Jesus was not a waste it was so worth it. Even if she could have used it differently. she took the occasion as a privilege to demonstrate her love towards Jesus. It was a gift.

I want to take this 6 months in particular and give it to Jesus even if i could do so many other things like persuing my carrer, making money ect.The little i have, the most precious i have, i leave it all and give as an offering.

#devotion

Love

Saturday, was the wedding of my sister. Their couple is such an exemple for me of patience and perseverance. I could see this love they had and that it would last in good and bad times. And that is what i want me too. :) The passage 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a was read at their wedding

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

Last week i had learn this verse by heart because i had difficulty with my patience at home. And everytime i would feel impatient i would say this verse.

But this verse took a whole other sense when it was read at my sisters wedding because i knew it was read as a promise to seek to love each other in this way.

Today when we came back from the wedding most of all my family came over to our home. And they then told me they wanted to all pray for me and my trip to Australia. We were already emotional from the wedding but this was so perfect. I felt so love by my family. They live 3 hours away so i dont get to see them that much but even though it felt like they were there to support me. And thats a great feeling.

The love of Couple. The Love of a Family. The love of Friends. Are all a bit different but come from the same root and thats the perfect love of God.

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God make me remember your promises when i fell like all hopes are gone. Help me understand, that your there for me and that you protect me. Help me seek you first.

patern

5 casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ;

2 corinthians 10:5

I just came back into the partern of jealousy. It sucks but thats what happend tonight. I started telling to myself that i wasnt good enough. That i wasnt worth someones time. And that other girl was much prettier than i was. And everything i had let my imagination wonder about in a relationship came back at me and hurt because it was my imagination not reality. I really needed to talk to someone and when i did that feeling did not go away. The verse of 2 corinthians 10:5 came back into my mind that i should take that thought that was controling my emotions.Making me sad. And i should make it obedient to Jesus. Because He is what is most important. ( FLASHBACK ) ;) to the previous devotion. I should consider everything that is becoming a priority in my life as garbage compared to knowing Jesus.

Its easier said then done. I know. But it doesn't mean im just going to stand here letting my self drown into emotion. The holy spirit is there and he will help me through this reminding me of what is my joy. Not in human relations but in Christ the one who has unconditional love towards me John 14:16 says it beautifuly in French :

Mais le consolateur, l'Esprit-Saint, que le Père enverra en mon nom,vous enseignera toutes choses, et vous rappellera tout ce que je vous ai dit.

Jealousy is not for me

Ive experienced envy in some of my past relationship. And ive realised i have difficulty dealing with this in my relationships. I have also noticed that it is not because of the other person i feel jealous but because of my insecurities.

When I feel insecure in a relationship. I start comparing it to another relationship. And tell myself they might prefer to be with someone else than me. I place this fear of their opinion so high in my priorities that it affects the way i see myself. When in fact my value is not defined in someones opinon but in God who loves me the way i am. The danger ive been facing when dealing with jealousy is that my insecuries become so big i forget they are worthless compared to what i already have in Christ.

Philippians 3:8-9

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith

delight

Im going to Ywam in 3 weeks and i was a bit discourage with my finances i knew God would help me but it hadn't happened yet. Last sunday i had to present my project in front of the church and at the end of the service i would be fundraising by selling homemade cookies and friendship bracelets. During the worship time i was so stressed and all the songs talked to me about courage and to just walk and that God would provide. One verse came back into my mind while i was worshiping

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7

I remembered the time i lead worship God had taken away timidity and given me love for the people around me helping me to interact with ease.

I remember having something inside of me asking me how much i needed. And i just said. "God i would need 1000$ for this trip "

And i then went on stage without even thinking about the money i simply felt like i wanted them to know what i was up to and if they wanted to participate to this project they could help me finance it.

When i came back home i counted the money and i had 1140$ I was in shock i felt so loved and i felt like God had answered my prayer. And all the sadness that i had experienced in the past week just left.

One verse came back to my mind Psalm 37:4

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I felt like God was telling me " You see what i did there. If you trust in me and go where i lead you. I will provide."

back in this maze

I have been crying a lot. Anger and sadness have been filling my heart in the past days. I should be happy im leaving to go do what i feel God is calling me to do. But something has distracted me lately. And it feels like the joy that God had given to me is now lost somewhere under this sadness. The only thing that works for me is to just put a playlist of worship music and sink into God's presence. I will look up.

Butterfly

I feel these emotions rushing me and my desires tell me to go faster than whats best. I don't know how to calm them. I don't want my emotions to control me. I turn to God he is the one in control. i dont have to worry, he knows whats best for me.

Freedom

I felt for a long time my spiritual life was like a desert. I understood the bible i understood the stories but i had no deep love towards to Lord. And that was in part because i did not spend any time in his presence i just was waiting for this passion to come on its own. So i started to pray for God to give me more love for him and He did.

Two days ago, I felt i had to go take a walk. You know how it is said

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Everytime i did get into his presence I always got disturb. And it frustrated me because i wanted to go in his presence but i couldn't not even in my room.

So i went outside and started walking i left my ipod and cellphone i did not want to be distrub by anything No calls No time. Just me and my God. So i walked started to pray and worship him. When a thought came into my head to go climb the closest mountain. This mountain was at 30 mins of walk. And it was already getting dark outside half way there i started to get scared What if i meet weird people and they kidnap me or trew me in the river. Now that i think about it is pretty stupid. But i was scared. This verse i heard this week poped into my head :

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

i started declaring that was made to worship him and if he wanted me to go on that mountain i would go on that mountain. And no fear would seperate me from what he wanted me to do. When i arrived on the mountain I saw the city lights . I was beautiful. and i knew this is where he wanted me to come. I felt something in my spirit telling me to look at all those lights. And to imagine myself that that's how God saw the humans. That i should not be scared of what people thought of me. That they needed to see God love. I sat there for a while. And then i felt free. Free from timidity.

The next day i was leading worship at my youth group. I never felt that much confidence to lead Gods people in worship. I loved it. Something happened on that mountain and i want more.

reading Matthiew

I started reading the New Testament from the begginning

Matthieu 4:21Going on from there He saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets; and He called them.22 Immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed Him.

It's pretty awesome that the two brothers just left their work and their family to follow Jesus. I wonder what the father’s reaction was when they stood up and left him with the broken nets.

I pray that i may be ready to leave anything behind to follow my God where ever he wants me to follow him. And that no matter the reaction i would stand up and obey whatever he asks of me.

#matthiew #bible #god

CJYC

Just came back from a youth conference in Montreal. It was pretty awesome and at the same time pretty draining. There was one workshop that really touched me in particular and it was about how to be a leader. Being a leader is work. So much more work then what i expected. It’s almost like being a mom i guess. During this weekend i had the opportunity to hang out with awesome people! And as i was trying to put in practise what i had learned in this workshop. I became discouraged. It was so much more work than what i had expected it to be. I wanted to be a good cheerleader / connector / coach. But it doesn’t happen instantly. I surprised myself thinking that with prayers during this weekend that person would be restored and that she wouldn't need more coming from me. So I could then go on and help other people. But no that’s not how it works. She kept coming to see me asking for prayer for the same problem over and over again during this weekend. I was angry at that person because i felt like she wanted too much attention. And that she was wasting my time. And then i realized I did something similar with God. I come to him countless time for the same problems over and over again. He already paid the price and always forgives me. But I come back because I’m weak. He is my strength. I pray that God would give me love for this person who needs love. So she can feel God's love for her through me. I pray that God may change me every day making me more like him. That i could see every single one person around me the way God sees them. That i may be someone who will help others to see Jesus. I want to be like that Sycamore-fig tree that Zacchaeus climbed into to see Jesus in Luke 19

Compared to everyone else, it's easy to see what we don't have, where we're lacking, and how we don't measure up. We protect ourselves from vulnerability by projecting a flimsy, false perfection to the world around us. But what do we miss when we choose to hide our true selves? In the final part of our series The Hope of Glory, Pastor Steven shows us the pain comparison can cause, and teaches us to redirect that attention towards a far more beneficial pursuit.

Today i listen to this teaching and i know that i do put up a false image of myself.I dont know why its so important.But I know Im weak and that you make me strong God. it's only by Your Grace, this hope you have givin me that i can be full of boldness. Help me not waste the time you have givin to me in a such blind attempts.

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