I Choose English Degree:

The Rise and Fall of Annette Storckman

[hezzasims]

I’m a little bit addicted to Sims 4 CC. Like… I have over 7GB of custom content installed. So I figured it was about time that I contribute to the awesome CC community! 

I’ve done personal recolours of things in the past, and dabbled a little bit in Sims 3 CC back in the day, but this is my first piece of CC that I’m sharing with the world! I have lots of ideas for future projects as well. More very soon! 

Details:  - Base game compatible - Mesh included (recolour of base game half-circle rug) - Found in Decorations > Rugs - 6 swatches - §49

Please don’t reupload or put behind paywalls. Let me know if there are any issues! 

Download on Dropbox (no adfly)

[hezzasims]

Download on SimFileShare (no adfly)

[princessfootinmouth]

Rejected Sketch I Love: “Galaxy Bowling”

INT. LIVING ROOM, NIGHT.

A mother and her two adult children sit around a table.

MOTHER Well, kids, today is 15 years since your father went up into the Catskill mountains and disappeared. Do either of you have anything to say, you know, to remember him?

DAUGHTER He always gave the best hugs.

SON And he threw a killer curve ball.

MOTHER And he made love like a maniac.

DAUGHTER (Sympathetically) We know, Mom. You must miss him.

Weird UFO sounds go off.

DAUGHTER (CONT’D) Woah! What’s that?!

SON Oh god, the light is blinding me!

MOTHER WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

Pop! DAD appears.

DAD Hey guys.

SON ... Dad?

DAD Yeah. Wow, you guys look huge — you go through puberty in the last 8 hours?

DAUGHTER Eight hours? Dad it’s been fifteen years! Where have you been!?

DAD Oh yeah, I got straight-up abducted by aliens.

MOTHER Oh my god. What did they do to you? Where did they take you??

DAD Bowling.

MOTHER ... What?

DAD Yeah, they beamed me up into their UFO and took me galaxy bowling.

DAUGHTER ... like in the cosmos?

DAD No, like in Chester at the bowling alley right next to Destinta Cinemas. We bought a few rounds of beer, a couple baskets of hot wings, and I scored like five strikes in a row. They were pretty chill actually! Then I was so hammered they said I shouldn’t drive home so they were gonna drop me off. Now here I am. AND YOU ARE ALL SO OLD.

SON So are you! You’ve got a big long beard and your hair is totally gray.

DAD Okay now you’re just fucking with me — woah, where did this beard come from?

DAUGHTER So they didn’t do experiments on you?

DAD Nah, we were just bowling. I’ll take you next time.

DAUGHTER I can’t believe you go missing for fifteen years and the whole time you were in fucking Chester, New York?

DAD Yeah, it was super fun!

SON You missed my graduation!

DAUGHTER You missed my prom!

MOTHER And you missed my sexual peak! Doesn’t any of this mean anything to you?

DAD I mean, I don’t know! Kids... honey... I went hiking that day to get away from the grind of responsibility. You know, maybe I wasn’t ready to be a Dad. Then I got abducted by the raddest aliens. I had no idea I was going to miss so much.

DAUGHTER Would you say you have a renewed sense of appreciation for your family?

DAD Yeah, probably. What can I do to show how sorry I am for missing so many milestones while I was bowling somewhere in upstate New York?

MOTHER I don’t know that there’s anything you can do.

DAD What if I told you I brought you the bowling alley’s famous $3 hot wings?

ALL ALRIGHT!

ANNOUNCER The Bowling Alley in Chester New York, off of exit 16. Out of this world hot wings for $3.

[princessfootinmouth]

I’m back on Tumblr

I’m gonna post my comedy writing and reblog Sims content. That’s why I’m here.

[falsedetective]

i feel bad that those nyt journalists spent all that time proving that the president committed years of criminal tax fraud and the whole senate was just like

[whitepeopletwitter]

How to tell time back in the medieval ages

[obscurelittlebird]

Actual dialogue from Don Quixote

[insomniac-arrest]

late night cashiers at 24-hour convenience stores are the holders of our greatest secrets and most intimate selves

[insomniac-arrest]

not my mom, not my partner, not God himself has seen me no-make up in line to buy a choco-pop and panty liners while on the brink of a heart felt meltdown

no one has given me the empty stare of complete indifference that fills my anxious nerves with relief

there is nothing like the sweet freedom of complete nihilism experienced at a 7/11 at 2am, God lives in church, the randomness of the unfeeling universe lives at aisle 9 of CVS 

[vintar]

hello i have learnt more spider facts

spiders will pull their own legs clean off if they get damaged because most of them can regrow legs during molting, which explains why you often see spiders missing a leg but never any missing half a leg?

some remarkably distressing scientists proved this by getting a spider to pull off all of its legs and then feeding its limbless torso for months until it sprouted a full complement of legs again and then hopefully used them to get the fuck out of dodge

baby spiders don’t get lenses until their first molt and before that they just have baby eyes and while this ought not to be any weirder than the concept of baby teeth, welp,

there are so many spiders floating around thousands of metres up in the air that they’re described as “aerial plankton”

The Sky Is Full Of Spiders

there are spider-parasitising spiders but instead of laying eggs in organs or stealing blood or anything like that they just ride on top of bigger spiders and steal snacks when their mighty steed is eating

there are ant-mimicking spiders that use their disguises to raid ant nests and w/e but there are also ant mimics that just. hang out. they make fake ant colonies full of fake ants. sometimes the actual ants that they’re mimicking find their house and live with them. stealth 100

some mother spiders live in communal family nests, where multiple mothers can work together to bring down bigger prey while all their collected babies are cared for by the babysitters

some mother spiders feed their babies mouth to mouth like birds

some mother spiders carry their babies around and i was aware of this but not the fact that if you steal their eggsac they’ll freak out and search for it for hours and sometimes end up adopting anything that’s vaguely the right size, they will carry around empty snail shells for weeks and lovingly dote on them…

guys i am literally about to cry over spider moms

[rolameny]

i borrowed the book op cites from the library (biology of spiders by rainer f. foelix) because of this post and my two favourite new spider facts are

-they don’t just have an exoskeleton – they also have a secret partial inside skeleton

and

-you know the guy who gave spiders drugs and took pictures of their fucked up webs? he ended up studying them because his buddy was studying garden spiders and they spin webs at 2-5 am and his buddy was like, Ugh, fuck this, i want to sleep in, do you have anything i can give these spiders to make them spin webs at not two in the morning -and this guy, A Pharmacologist, was like, hell yea, here are some amphetamines for your spiders -and all those did was make the spiders spin some exceptionally weird webs at 2-5am -and i guess his buddy gave up in disgust at these spiders who wouldn’t let him sleep but mr. spider amphetamines was like, you know what, this is cool, i’m gonna keep going with this

i’ve never told a lie in my life

[creekfiend]

Pell ur a hero. Wtf

[friedcherryblossomprincess-deac]

The sky is full of spiders, banny.

 @bannableoffense

[filmnoirsbian]

Thanos, a philosophy and economics double major who thinks once you eat a plant it will never grow back: i have to slaughter half the universe’s population with the infinity stones, so that no one ever runs out of resources and starves

Thor, a phys ed and linguistics major with a minor in women’s studies, taking a sip of his strawberry protein shake: can’t you just use the infinity stones to create more resources tho?

Thanos: blocked

[sunny-dayze]

Thor: Unblock me I need to tell you something

Thanos: What?

Thor: Bitch

[samsaranmusing-deactivated20140]

Orbital path of asteroid near miss in 2002. Yah, that’s how close we came to nuclear winter and possible total destruction.

[lonelyinsomniac-deactivated2014]

A visitor.

[davesproot-deactivated20140614]

It’s like it’s trying so hard to hit us and it just can’t do it

[mamasam]

All I can imagine is every astronomer drinking heavily from 2002-2003 like “There it goes–OH FUCK IT’S COMING BACK”

[remmoran-kynvahl]

Thanks moon <3

[le-sad-demiurge]

Moon: YEET

[squirtle-daddy-deactivated20250]

The moon threw it away yay moon

[t-ycho]

the moon was having none  of it

[onion-souls]

[cpt-langosta-deactivated2023042]

The best part about this? They took a picture (read: spectrographic analysis) of the thing and found out it wasn’t an asteroid at all. It was a piece of a Saturn V rocket, discarded in space decades ago and set into an orbit around the sun. That’s right, this motherfucker spent 30 years orbiting the sun, waiting for a chance to have its revenge on the petty humans who abandoned it in the void.

[onion-souls]

So that weirdly common Star Trek trope in which one of our space probes comes back to fuck us up turned out to be true

[pr1nceshawn]

Bad Cats.

[cheetothecat]

OP, you fool. These are THE BEST CATS

[tooiconic]

Stanley is so chaotic I love him

[ninewheels]

Cats are such assholes and I love them

[swoondujour-deactivated20210709]

KRC

[awwww-cute]

A cat killing a balloon (Source: https://ift.tt/2uP6xmD)

[princessfootinmouth]

My aesthetic

[buffysummers]

[obscurelittlebird]

[iam-satan-lordofdarkness]

The hogwarts houses as Heather’s quotes. Part 1

Hufflepuff:

Slytherin:

Ravenclaw:

Gryffindor:

[mothspaws]

Hey @perisnoop

– –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – .— .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – .— .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. . –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – .— .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. . –. – .— .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. . –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- –. – –.. .- -···-

[deftomes]

wack.

[knusprig-titten-hitler]

[catsbeaversandducks]

I could watch this forever.

[prokopetz]

If you’re trying to catch a housecat that’s gotten outside, don’t forget: they’re an ambush predator and you’re a persistence predator. You have several times more endurance than they do - use that to your advantage! Don’t run after them; that’s playing to the cat’s strengths, and vigorous pursuit may cause them to hide. Instead, follow them at a brisk walking pace until they get tired and need to have a lie-down, at which point you can simply pick them up and take them home.

[fsthhdwefg-deactivated20180515]

Ok but no shit this tactic is what allowed humans to survive pre-civilisation

[lowkey-revolutionary-raccoon]

Some mammoth: *chilling, eating grass, mammothing*

Cavedude: *power walks towards them*

Mammoth: oh sIHT

[krwzprtt]

cat : haha you can’t outrun me

human: