2D boy hell @princessrinrinn - Tumblr Blog

21 Signs of Emotional Abuse You May Be Overlooking:

Emotional abuse is any kind of psychological abuse that traumatizes a person’s mind or their state of being, forcing them to feel weak, traumatized and helpless. You may feel moments of emotional abuse now and then in your own relationships with the people around you, be it with your parents, siblings, friends or even your romantic partner. The easiest way to realize if you’re being abused by someone is if you feel weak and stressed around them. Use these 21 subtle signs of emotional abuse to find out if you’ve been pushed to the wall by your spouse, partner or friend. If you do see these signs, perhaps it’s now time to walk away.

1. You’re scared. Your partner’s behavior scares you. You’re afraid to ask for things or tell them something because you just don’t know how they would react.

2. Incessant lectures. Your partner constantly tells you how you’re so flawed and how you still need to improve in so many ways. But instead of trying to help you, they point your flaws out and behave like you’re a lost cause who can’t be helped because you’re too weak or dumb.

3. Painful comparisons. Your partner constantly compares you, either with your more prettier or successful friends, and tells you how much better than you they are. Your partner may even be subtle and point out to celebrities and tell you how they’re so much more attractive than you.

4. Constant confusions. Your partner yells at you often. But when you try to argue back or prove that you’re right, they may even get down on their knees or humiliate themselves just to apologize to you and win your affection back.

5. You get blamed for no fault. Your partner blames you for no fault of yours. They blame you for your friend’s behavior, for the way the kids are, your friend’s divorce, or just about anything else. Sometimes, your partner may even hear about something on the television and yell at you because they’re pissed off!

6. Possessive jealousy. Your partner always has something negative to say about your friends, especially if they’re of the opposite sex. Your partner hates it when you get phone calls from your friends and sometimes even asks you to hang up the phone. They just don’t like it when you have an active social life. [Read: 15 subtle and shocking signs of a controlling boyfriend]

7. Your self esteem is crippled. Your partner constantly tells you how bad or worthless you are, and gets angry with you because you’re always relying on them. But even when you try to do something yourself, they tell you you’re not capable of making decisions and make you feel dumb all the time.

8. Two faced personality. Your partner’s behavior and attitude confuses you. At times, they may be extremely loving and caring. And at other times, they’re really mean and hurtful. You just can’t predict how they’ll react to anything you do.

9. The sadist inside. Your partner feels better about themselves when they point out your flaws or criticize you. They may be more jovial or happy on days when you’re overworking or stressed because of your own mistakes.

10. The humiliation. Your partner humiliates you or makes nasty remarks, especially around your friends or people who admire you.

11. Big demands. They set unreasonable expectations and make big demands from you, secretly hoping you’d fail so they can say ‘I told you so!’

12. Sexual manipulation. Your partner emotionally manipulates you into sexual activities you don’t like. They may even emotionally armtwist you by saying things like “Other girls/guys do it! Why can’t you?”

13. Big confessions. Your partner shares their problems with everyone who listens. But if you confess any of your problems, especially about the relationship, to your friends or family, your partner would get very upset with you.

14. Turning everyone against you. This is a sneaky trick that emotionally abusive partners use to gain advantage and leave you feeling helpless. Your partner may constantly crib about how difficult or dumb you are to everyone, including your friends, your family and even your kids. Your partner may even give biased examples just to convince everyone else and turn them against you so no one would take your side against theirs.

15. The silent treatment. If you stand up for something or try to take control of the situation, your partner may walk away in a huff and give you the silent treatment. An emotionally abusive partner works on guilt, and they hate giving power away in a relationship. Your partner may just ignore you until you apologize for opposing their decision!

16. Physically abusive. Sometimes, your partner may resort to physical abuse like a slap, a painful pinch or even a threatening gesture just to scare you into submission when you oppose them for anything.

17. You’re not allowed to think. Emotionally abusive lovers take pleasure in taking full control of the relationship. They’d manipulate you one step at a time until you lose all confidence in your judgment. You convince yourself that you are not capable of taking any decisions yourself, without your partner’s guidance.

18. Isolation and dependence. Initially, your partner may tell you they don’t like your friends or a particular family member. Soon, they may tell you to avoid that particular person. And before you realize it, your partner may carefully isolate you from everyone who was once close to you. And one fine day, you’d see that the only person you can go to for help or depend on is your partner.

19. Emotional memories. Your partner constantly reminds you of all the times you’ve screwed up each time there’s an argument or a discussion. They constantly bring up your failures or the mistakes you’ve made in your life to reinforce the idea that you depend on your partner and can’t survive by yourself without their help and guidance in life.

20. Your achievements don’t matter. Your partner glorifies even the smallest of their achievements and proudly brags about it. But on the other hand, no matter what you achieve or do, your partner always mocks your achievements and makes you feel silly for celebrating it.

21. Denial. Even when you point out their emotionally abusive ways, your partner doesn’t accept their emotionally abusive ways as a flaw. Instead, they convince themselves and try to convince you that they’re doing all this only to help you become a better person and stand on your own feet.

If you’re not sure what you’re going through is abuse, just look at yourself from another person’s perspective. Or ask yourself how you would feel if your sibling or your child was living your life. Would you be happy for them? Would you want them to be subjected to such poor treatment? If a relationship puts you constantly on the defense, drains you or makes you unsure of yourself thats a sign it’s time to walk away.

source

lifeislikeaphotograph-smile

the-courage-to-heal

Denial - This is when the abuser refuses to admit that they’ve done something harmful or hurtful when they clearly have. It’s a way they lie (to themselves as well as to others) about their true intentions.

This “Who… Me?” tactic is a way of playing innocent, and invites the victim to feel unjustified in confronting the abuser about the inappropriateness of a behavior. It’s also the way the abuser gives themselves permission to keep right on doing what they want to do. This denial is not the same kind of denial that a person who has just lost a loved one and can’t quite bear to accept the pain and reality of the loss engages in. That type of denial really is mostly a “defense” against unbearable hurt and anxiety. Rather, this type of denial is not primarily a “defense” but a maneuver the aggressor uses to get others to back off, back down or maybe even feel guilty themselves for insinuating he’s doing something wrong.

Selective Inattention – This tactic is similar to and sometimes mistaken for denial It’s when the abuser “plays dumb,” or acts oblivious. When engaging in this tactic, the aggressor actively ignores the warnings, pleas or wishes of others, and in general, refuses to pay attention to everything and anything that might distract them from pursuing their own agenda. Often, the abuser knows full well what you want from him when he starts to exhibit this “I don’t want to hear it!” behavior. By using this tactic, the abuser actively resists submitting himself to the tasks of paying attention to or refraining from the behavior you want him to change.

Rationalization – A rationalization is the excuse an abuser tries to offer for engaging in an inappropriate or harmful behavior. It can be an effective tactic, especially when the explanation or justification the abuser offers makes just enough sense that any reasonably conscientious person is likely to fall for it. It’s a powerful tactic because it not only serves to remove any internal resistance the aggressor might have about doing what he wants to do (quieting any qualms of conscience he might have) but also to keep others off his back. If the abuser can convince you he’s justified in whatever he’s doing, then he’s free to pursue his goals without interference.

Diversion – A moving target is hard to hit. When we try to pin a manipulator down or try to keep a discussion focused on a single issue or behavior we don’t like, he’s expert at knowing how to change the subject, dodge the issue or in some way throw us a curve. Manipulators use distraction and diversion techniques to keep the focus off their behavior, move us off-track, and keep themselves free to promote their self-serving hidden agendas.

Lying – It’s often hard to tell when a person is lying at the time he’s doing it. Fortunately, there are times when the truth will out because circumstances don’t bear out somebody’s story. But there are also times when you don’t know you’ve been deceived until it’s too late. One way to minimize the chances that someone will put one over on you is to remember that because abusers of all types will generally stop at nothing to get what they want, you can expect them to lie and cheat.

Another thing to remember is that manipulators – covert-aggressive personalities that they are – are prone to lie in subtle, covert ways. Courts are well aware of the many ways that people lie, as they require that court oaths charge that testifiers tell “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” Manipulators often lie by withholding a significant amount of the truth from you or by distorting the truth. They are adept at being vague when you ask them direct questions. This is an especially slick way of lying’ omission. Keep this in mind when dealing with a suspected wolf in sheep’s clothing. Always seek and obtain specific, confirmable information.

Overt Intimidation – Abusers frequently threaten their victims to keep them anxious, apprehensive and in a one-down position. Covert abusers intimidate their victims by making veiled (subtle, indirect or implied) threats. Guilt-tripping and shaming are two of the covert abusers favourite weapons. Both are special intimidation tactics.

Guilt-tripping – One thing that abusers like narcissists and psychopaths know well is that other types of persons have very different consciences than they do. Manipulators are often skilled at using what they know to be the greater conscientiousness of their victims as a means of keeping them in a self-doubting, anxious, and submissive position. The more conscientious the potential victim, the more effective guilt is as a weapon.

Abusive personalities of all types use guilt-tripping so frequently and effectively as a manipulative tactic. All a manipulator has to do is suggest to the conscientious person that they don’t care enough, are too selfish, etc., and that person immediately starts to feel bad. On the contrary, a conscientious person might try until they’re blue in the face to get a manipulator (or any other abuser) to feel badly about a hurtful behavior, acknowledge responsibility, or admit wrongdoing, to absolutely no avail.

Shaming – This is the technique of using subtle sarcasm and put-downs as a means of increasing fear and self-doubt in others. Covert abusers use this tactic to make others feel inadequate or unworthy, and therefore, defer to them. It’s an effective way to foster a continued sense of personal inadequacy in the weaker party, thereby allowing an abuser to maintain a position of dominance.

Playing the Victim Role – This tactic involves portraying oneself as an innocent victim of circumstances or someone else’s behavior in order to gain sympathy, evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. One thing that covert abusers count on is the fact that less calloused and less hostile personalities usually can’t stand to see anyone suffering. Therefore, the tactic is simple. Convince your victim you’re suffering in some way, and they’ll try to relieve your distress.

Vilifying the Victim – This tactic is frequently used in conjunction with the tactic of playing the victim role. The abusers uses this tactic to make it appear he is only responding (i.e. defending himself against) aggression on the part of the victim. It enables the abuser to better put the victim on the defensive.

Playing the Servant Role – Covert-aggressives use this tactic to cloak their self-serving agendas in the guise of service to a more noble cause. It’s a common tactic but difficult to recognize. By pretending to be working hard on someone else’s behalf, covert abusers conceal their own ambition, desire for power, and quest for a position of dominance over others.

Another recent scandal involving a tele-evangelist resulted in his church’s governance body censuring him for one year. But he told his congregation he couldn’t stop his ministry because he had to be faithful to the Lord’s will (God supposedly talked to him and told him not to quit). This minister was clearly being defiant of his church’s established authority. Yet, he presented himself as a person being humbly submissive to the “highest” authority. One hallmark characteristic of covert abuser is loudly professing subservience while fighting for dominance.

Seduction – Covert abusers are adept at charming, praising, flattering or overtly supporting others in order to get them to lower their defenses and surrender their trust and loyalty. They are also particularly aware that people who are to some extent emotionally needy and dependent (and that includes most people who aren’t character-disordered) want approval, reassurance, and a sense of being valued and needed more than anything. Appearing to be attentive to these needs can be a manipulator’s ticket to incredible power over others.

Projecting the blame (blaming others) – Abusers are always looking for a way to shift the blame for their aggressive behavior. They are not only skilled at finding scapegoats, they’re expert at doing so in subtle, hard to detect ways.

Minimization – This tactic is a unique kind of denial coupled with rationalization. When using this maneuver, the abuser is attempting to assert that his abusive behavior isn’t really as harmful or irresponsible as someone else may be claiming. It’s the aggressor’s attempt to make a molehill out of a mountain.

I’ve presented the principal tactics that covert abusers like the narcissist or psychopath use to manipulate and control others. They are not always easy to recognize but if we learn the tactics they use we can avoid being taken in by them.

source

mysweetsuki

It’s really hard to see what an abusive relationship looks like until you’re finally out of it. You tell yourself that everyone experiences the same trials. That everyone goes to sleep crying. That everyone fights daily. You start counting the number of days you actually feel happy. And they always add up to zero. You tell yourself that you have to stick it out, because “relationships take work.” It’s not until you’ve been out of it, you realize that you were the only one doing the work. That he/she was the reason you were crying, That they were the ones yelling, while you were sitting there taking it. It’s not until you’ve taken a step back and admitted to yourself that: Yes, I was in an abusive relationship. Yes, I have a lot of work to do. You have to learn to be patient with yourself. You have to learn that relationships should never be that hard. You were not at fault. Ever. You are the victim. But there is hope. Be gentle with yourself, you will heal.

Maybe this will help someone else. (via mysweetsuki)

dirtyb0ngw4ter

PSA to anyone in an emotionally abusive relationship

• ITS NOT YOUR FAULT • You didn’t do anything wrong • You are loved by those around you • Except your partner, love isn’t abusive • Stonewalling and purposefully ignoring you to hurt you IS abuse • Your feelings are valid • You aren’t the abusive partner, for those of you whose abuser plays the victim • There are no excuses for their behavior • Your abuser does not have to yell or hit you to be abusive • You’re beautiful • I care about you • You aren’t alone

I’ve been through this and I’m here if you need to talk

abusiverelationship-blog

If he won’t let you leave the house without informing him of your every move, he is abusing you.

If he threatens to abandon you every time you have even the slightest argument or misunderstanding, he is abusing you.

If he sees you with tears streaming down your face and doesn’t even care, he is abusing you.

If he tells you you can’t talk to your friends anymore, he is abusing you.

If he threatens to hurt you or your family or friends or himself if you leave him, he is abusing you.

If he tells you what you can and can’t wear, he is abusing you.

If he breaks things and punches walls and screams at you when he’s angry, he is abusing you.

If he calls you rude or demeaning names and puts you down, he is abusing you.

If he continues to do things that hurt you or make you uncomfortable after you’ve asked him to stop, he is abusing you.

If he cheats on you, he is abusing you.

If he touches you or violates you or has sex with you against your will, he is abusing you.

If he tells you that nobody else will ever love you, he is abusing you.

If he yells at you about things that are his fault, he is abusing you.

If he doesn’t want you to go to school or have a job, he is abusing you.

If he gets insanely jealous over even the slightest things, he is abusing you.

If he laughs at you when you cry, he is abusing you.

If he controls all of the money in the house, and won’t let you have your own, he is abusing you.

If he threatens to take or harm your children if you try to leave him, he is abusing you.

If he makes fun of you for the things you love, he is abusing you.

If he destroys or tampers with your personal belongings to get back at you for something, he is abusing you.

If he treats you like shit all day and then whispers sweet nothings in your ear when you’re going to sleep about how much he loves you and is going to change and make you happy, he is abusing you.

Abuse is not always cuts and bruises. It can be psychological. Abuse is a serious thing whether it is physical or emotional. However, the signs of emotional abuse can be subtle and sometimes even go unnoticed by the person being abused. The abuser will do everything in their power to convince the person they are abusing that this is normal and that all couples go through this. They will try to convince you that what they are doing to you is your fault and that you deserve it. Please, please, reblog this to help people recognize these red flags. Emotional abuse can easily lead to physical abuse in the future. Add your own signs to the list let people know this is not normal and they do not deserve to be treated this way.

gettingoutofit-blog1

daldong

기차 안에서

joshpeck

this changed me as a person

eternal-nova-deactivated2018011

I’m in tears!

lady-fett

I just want to know how the writers of snl knew about my very specific sexual fantasy

scullymosshart-deactivated20221

my soul: saved

growlandpounce

One of my favourites

spooky-holtz

the shot of a pizza roll dragging across bare skin fucking kills me

wetwareproblem

EDIT: Okay, as it turns out I actually have Feels about this.

“What’s your name?” “I’ve never had one.”

Not only is this objectively the funniest line in the entire thing, but it also speaks to something deeper. Like, every bit guy who was in one scene gets a name. But not her, the ostensible star of the commercial. She exists only to feed her Hungry Guys. Her name is “Babe, we need more Totinos!”

That actually says… kinda a lot about heteronormativity and marketing.