does this even count as a blog

I'm Jake and welcome to whatever this thing is

[ryebreadgf]

[blameaspartame-deactivated20200]

Gam Gam’s Hot Banana Water

[mumblesplash]

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

[maplemaplemaplemaplemaple]

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

personal soundboard for when i'm scrolling various social media websites

[segamascott]

such a good listener hard to find those sometimes

[fruitviking]

Can we stop with the character development. Where's my beach episode.

[triangleguy]

[gloomsday]

sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.

[segamascott]

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

[soulren]

“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story

“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do

[dogpuppy]

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[segamascott]

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[holyfunnyhistoryherring]

Transcript: Yesterday my cousin said that my rooster wasn't a real rooster. He said he's a Walmart rooster. *chicken noises* Does this not look like a real rooster to you? *chicken makes a sound again* Sure, he's small, but he has feelings.

[faeblesmith]

important context this person looks and sounds like they’re gonna cry

[lastoneout]

Also important to note that the rooster appears to be roughly the size of a large pigeon.

[lastoneout]

The pigeon people have informed me he is the size of a normal pigeon, or perhaps even a small pigeon. Fucking rip.

[trashcangimmick]

[peachfromcmbyn]

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

[senatortedcruz]

-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory