welcome to my corner of the dashboard. drop to your knees and let your curiosities consume you, but never forget whose court you are entering. you kneel under my roof now, and here? my word is absolute law.
this space is a digital sanctuary for my thoughts, my aesthetic, and the deeper, darker corners of my mind. it’s a personal blog with a heavy side of kink—a place where exploration, vulnerability, and submission meet sharp edges. if you’re here for the unfiltered, the uninhibited, and the beautifully twisted, you’re in the right place.
but before you settle in, let’s establish the rules of the house:
consent is everything: boundaries, clear communication, and safety are entirely non-negotiable—both in fiction and in reality. i approach dynamics with logic and respect; know your limits, because I certainly respect them.
mdni (minors do not interact): i do not interact, engage, write with, or follow anyone under the age of eighteen. if you are a minor, please leave.
dm's are open: technically open, but let's be clear: I dread small talk.
- sliding in just to say "hey," "what's up," or "how are you?," save your keystrokes.
- if you don't have something substantial, intriguing, or purposeful to say, it's probably for the best you not message me at all.
the exception: mutuals ♡ if we’ve already established a bond and i know your vibe, the rules soften. until then? make your words count.
the laws of the house are set. if you wish to uncover the rest of what lies within these walls, keep reading to explore my kinks, tags, and the exact boundaries of my domain. stay mindful, and enjoy the view. you are welcome here.
「desires」 - posts that reflect my longing.
「likes」 - posts that reflect my enjoyment.
「mun」 - posts that reflect me / personal.
「mutuals」 - posts dedicated to my mutuals.
「writing」 - posts that showcase my piece[s].
this isn't a cry for help. i don't need anyone to swoop in and fix this, and honestly, i don't even know what this post is supposed to be. consider it a brain dump—me getting my feelings out of my head and letting them stick to something tangible. whomever digests this, eat it up.
i am biologically fried, man.
my mental health has been absolute garbage since 2020, and it stems way beyond covid. if I’m being real, it started prior to that. i used to have these awful, nearly crippling episodes of anxiety. looking back, I think it was the distance from my family, because ever since I moved back home, those specific anxiety attacks have stopped—knock on wood.
but moving home brought a different kind of weight. since i’ve been back, I’ve been a caretaker for my grandparents.
i want to go on the record right now and say I would do absolutely anything for them. without diving too deep into it, they are the sole reason I am walking this earth right now. but that doesn’t change the reality of the last six years: i have been living in a constant state of fight-or-flight.
if anything goes wrong, i’m their go-to. i'm the one getting them to and from the hospital, attending their appointments, managing their health, tracking their future scheduling, and ensuring they’re taking their meds. all of this is to give them peace of mind and let them keep living in the cabin they retired to back in their fifties. they’re both in their eighties now, if you’re taking notes.
because we're on the east coast, the winters aren't exactly warm. so on top of the medical stuff, I’m out there seasonally chopping down wood and lugging it back and forth. and I'm doing all of this while maintaining a seasonal job that consumes 92 to +100 hours biweekly of my time.
six years of this.
i'm writing this all down because today, i’ve been absolutely riddled with dread and anxiety. the thought of starting that work rotation again—a full month earlier than expected—is hitting me hard. the time i just had off didn't feel like enough, and I don't even know how to begin addressing how much more in need they become the older they get.
these days are not going by any slower.
i’m fucking tired.
and if you made it this far down the page, thank you for reading. truly. and please don't worry—i'm going to be just fine. i just needed to put the weight down for a second so i could catch my breath.
