I'm Reality! I am SO shocked that this username wasn't taken. That's genuinely amazing.
Humanist
Anti surveillance
Anti harassment
Anti gatekeeping
Anti organized religion
Anti drugs
Anti child stars. If you're under 18, you shouldn't be able to be in the entertainment industry, and if you are, it should be you being a YouTuber not showing your face, or using your real voice.
Anti posting pictures of your kids online. People are using those galleries for generative illegal content, as well as a shopping gallery for finding a target in real life. If you loved your child, they wouldn't be online
I'm against transitioning unless your prefrontal cortex is done developing around ages 25-30 (now with a link to a detailed response I made discussing these two bullet points!)
Anti easy transition. You need to know fully that that is who you are and what you need before you do that, or you'll end up being another detransition statistic. if you do/did end up as a statistic, you are safe here. You aren't a bad person for realizing that this wasn't you, and they should have protected you more in such a vulnerable time in your life
Fully against buzzwords. Speak plainly about issues, or shut the fuck up
These hands are rated e for everyone, and friendly fire is not off the table. Just because you're technically on my team doesn't mean that you're immune to criticism
Pro privacy
Pro freedom of speech
Pro freedom of expression
Pro freedom of information
Pro vaxxination
Pro porn, but I think that porn featuring real life people should be banned. It would get rid of a lot of issues in the world. Sexual things that are drawings and not people are the most safe way to consume that content because nobody involved in the making of it was harmed. It doesn't show real people being debased, and it would also make it so people slowly get more used to what real women look like against instead of having to have a perfect porn star. it would also stop young girls from giving up and saying, "I'll be an Onlyfans model as soon as I'm 18. I won't go to college." It would genuinely fix so many things
Solarpunk enthusiast
Not left, not right, somewhere in the middle. Not in a "can't we all just hold hangs and sing songs and get along and let the power for friendship win?" type win, but in a, "I am actually learning what I believe instead of voting for who everyone tells me to" type way. In a, 'I am a human being who is nuanced, and maybe sometimes share some values outside of the party I usually align with the most" type way
I support fictional freedom (mostly for drawings, not stuff played by real actors). Harm no real person, and I don't give a fuck what you create or consume
Really into self sufficiency
I support everyone's right to live how they want to, to like what they like, and hate what they hate, but I really promote being allowed to dislike things in the media you like, and also like things in the media you hate.
Just because I don't like you or the choices you make doesn't mean you aren't deserving of life
Trying to dismantle the pervasive black and white thinking social media promotes, and also trying to rewire my brain to stop doing this
I am a woman. I protect men. Women are not inherently perfect, pure people, and anyone who tells you that is someone you should run away from
Equality = we are all human. Equality means nobody gets special treatment, only fair treatment. No one group is inherently better, more innocent, or less abusive than another group
Disabled, but this could change in the future as long as I get the help I need
Also into self improvement, but not the aesthetic. I like actual growth, not just the appearance of it, or doing it to be seen
How you spend your hard-earned money is your right.
What you post and view should be protected by the first amendment, even if a lot of people don't agree with what you do, and how you live.
This is not a right versus left issue. It's a top versus bottom issue.
Take the politics out of everything. That's how they divide us.
If you are into nuanced thinking and are an adult, we may be able to possibly be friends. if you're the type of person who drops someone because they have a differing view on something, we are never gonna be a thing.
This blog is about documenting my progress to becoming myself, even if others don't like what they see. Don't negotiate with terrorists. You're only as cancellable as you allow yourself to be.
So, let's say you're a guy and you wanna have a guy's night with your guy friends. Or, let's say you're a girl and wanna have a girl's night with your girl friends.
Now, let's say you wanna be able to meet with your guy or girl friends regularly, and you think "cool! it's just gonna be the [guys/girls]!" and then in the guy group, the guy brings a girl with him (is girlfriend, or sister, or wife, or whatever) and the girl shows up with a guy (same kind of list). Obviously, it's not uninclusive to say, "hey, this was supposed to be this thing. We have different experiences from guys/girls, and want to just do stuff with each other at this hang out"
Now, let's say these people still like the opposite sex as friends. As colleagues. As family and other people dear to them.
Now, let's say you're me, and you wanna make friends online in that way, and you start looking around, and YOUR group is fucking terrifying. You look around, and they're mean. They're scary. They all hate men entirely. They insist they all are the same, and are just... evil?
Now, let's say you're me and you were thinking it would be cool to try and find friends or at least other blogs where it's female-only, but like... not man-hating, you know what I mean? Men are still not in the club, but like... outside of the club, we are men's friends, advocates and uplifters of male abuse survivors, have dear male friends, may or may not have male partners that we love and trust (not required), we don't automatically accuse men of being evil just because they were born male... where would you even find that? How do you find a women only space that isn't part of the Kill All Men Crew? I feel out of place everywhere I go. I wish people could stop doing things in extremes.
You can't feel like a sex because they're not emotions or sensations. It's just a state of being. You're just uncomfortable and unhappy with gender roles forced unto you.
I can assure you most people, especially women, aren't happy with these roles either.
Not feeling "feminine" or not subscribing to sexist gender roles doesn't make you not a woman.
Same how not feeling "masculine" or "manly" doesn't mean that you're not a man.
Abolishing gender roles would be a really good thing. A person shouldn't be required to change who they are because they like things the other sex likes. A person should be encouraged to express themselves as they want to. As long as they aren't hurting themselves or others, it's all good.
You can have gender euphoria as what you were born as. It exists within you. You can find community with people like you without having to change who you are.
If I had understood this when I was in my 20s, I wouldn't have lost 10 years to thinking I was agender. I'm me. I'm happy as a woman. And I hope that anyone reading this will get to feel happy as themselves, too.
I highly recommend blocking anyone who uses "basic dni criteria" (DNI means Do Not Interact) on their blog or posts, and here's why:
They are being extremely vague, and expecting you to know what's going on in their head, and you'll get in trouble if you don't. You don't want to be around people like that.
2. Every person who uses it has a different idea of what the criteria is. You may thin you're not on their list of undesirables, but you very well may be.
3. "But I don't do [insert anything you take issue with here]!" it may not be about that [thing]. These people are expecting you to align 100% with their views. At best, they'll block you. On a bad day, you'll be yelled at. On A worse day, they will try to get your account banned. On the worst days imaginable, they will tell you to hurt or kill yourself, try to doxx you, try to find your family and tell them what you do online, try to find your employer and do the same...
4. "But all the other vies they listed are the same as mine!" then go follow someone else who meets your standards, but avoid anyone who has "basic dni criteria" on their blog. Trust me. TRUST me. They are NOT safe. Trust me.
If you have good intentions and are trying to list out what matters to you on your blog, then list it out, but do not expect others to read your mind. You can always add more later if you can't think of everything.
I personally think you shouldn't have a DNI at all, but it's your decision. It's a lot more freeing to not have one. My methods just involve blocking when I see anything I don't like, even if it's only mild discomfort. I already have enough upsetting things occurring in real life. Why should my online experience be a bad one? It's also particularly liberating to block people you can tell on sight that they'd be insufferable to be around. I also block minors just to be sure. It is what it is.
Seek what you love, aggressively block what you hate, never engage positively or negatively with things that you hate, and try to fill your life with positive things.
Some of the ads on here are genuinely disgusting and disturbing. I can use Tumblr just fine on my pc because of uBlock, but on my phone, I encounter it and get jump scared every single time.
I'm all for free sites trying to make money, but who are these ads even FOR? There's this terrible ad of an anime girl with huge puss-filled boils on her leg and a guy moving a huge purple spider towards the boils for the spider to bite the boils, and I don't know or care what that ad is for, there's no WAY anyone would click that.
How have they not discovered what we WOULD buy? What games we WOULD play? what shows we WOULD watch? Nobody would buy something like that. Is this a joke??
Can anything be done about this? There's a million reasons I wouldn't want to see an ad like that literally ever.
we as a society have GOT to accept that it is okay if we get blocked. you do not have the right to interact with every single person on the internet. "but then i can't interact with their content" yes that is the point "but i didn't do anything" no one owes you an explanation and you don't have to have "done something" to be blocked. let it go
Believing in NOT CENSORING media = People have the ability to see it uncensored as the author intended, regardless of the content inside.
Some people asking for changes to some bits (like covering things with censor bars) so they are able to consume it more easily DOES NOT = "We are asking for the entire censorship of this piece of media for everyone, with zero ways to consume this media uncensored/unaltered."
Hating that something exists and expressing that you hate it DOES NOT = censorship, even if they said it directly to you on your post. They're being an ASSHOLE, but they aren't forcing you to remove the post. Even if they tell you to remove it, they aren't a government authority. They have no power over you.
You can be against censorship and also wish that the triggering bits of the media you like wasn't there just for you. It's like piracy. You take a copy and do with it what you will, but it's left untouched for others. Sometimes some media only has some bits that don't define the entire piece that are hard or impossible for some people to view, meaning to avoid that trigger, they miss out on the rest of the art.
Needing to avoid your triggers DOES NOT = Censorship, bigotry, persecution, or harassment.
Wanting to avoid certain things even if they aren't a trigger but just don't spark joy DOES NOT = Censorship, bigotry, persecution, or harassment.
Requiring others to never post or consume certain media ever again (even in private) because it upsets you/is against your views = censorship.
Laws forbidding certain types of media and/or speech and/or expression = censorship.
Social medias and payment processors banning, shadow banning, and/or demonetizing/de-banking you over what you do online = censorship.
Editing a piece of media--whether it be the visuals or the way things are phrased--in a completely different and inaccurate way than the author intended WITHOUT TELLING THE AUDIENCE AND PRESENTING IT AS OFFICIAL AND UNALTERED MEDIA = censorship.
There are zero exceptions to this rule. Do not add "I agree, except for..." comments or reblogs.
Parents: "children should be taught that actions have consequences"
Okay, let them stay up till 5 in the morning and feel like shit for the next day, eat a bag of candy in one go and have a huge stomach ache, go out without an umbrella and catch a cold, watch a violent movie and get scared?
Parents: "actually, we mean screaming and beating the crap out of them when they try to do these things"
You gotta let minors be dumber than rocks while they're still in a safe environment to have those consequences, otherwise, they'll go learn the hard way as an adult and STILL have to go to work the next day.
If I hadn't learned when I was young Firsthand WHY we don't want to do certain things, I would have had to learn them at 20. Or 30. I also had a parent that when I asked questions about things, she would simply tell me, not say, "you'll learn when you're older." If they're old enough to as, they're old enough to know. And if you don't tell them, they'll go get that "information" from people who almost never have correct "knowledge" of that subject matter. Just explain in an age-appropriate way why things are, and they'll know.
Didn't learn how to socialize without being an outcast because mom and I were undiagnosed fucking neurodivergent, but that's a fully separate issue.
what are we counting as a child? i'm 16 and can legally get hrt without parental consent here
Unrelated thing for all people reading this: there are age verification laws floating around that may pass. This post is discussing medical transition for trans people, and will end up hidden one day (not of my own accord) to anyone who doesn't verify their age. PLEASE copy paste the information on this post if this post helps yo in any way, as in the future this could very well become inaccessible information for the people who needed it most.
So, I know you only asked about hormone replacement therapy, but I gave things a very large and long amount of thought, and typed a mile long post discussing medical transition as a whole, especially for people under age 30.
I would like to present some ideas for you so you can make the most informed decision, and I hope you'll read all of this and there will be no misunderstandings. I have been looking into this since age 21 (it's been 10+ years now), so I have a lot of lived advice, as I used to be nonbinary, and have learned so much since then. Nobody pressured me into staying a woman. I just learned being nonbinary wasn't what i was, and with my knowledge, if I may be given the floor to speak, I will impart this wisdom unto you.
Disclaimer: I want all people to have THE most freedom to choose how they live, and this reply is about your own feelings and what you've come to the conclusion about, not about how others perceive the idea. How others want you to live is fully irrelevant. At the end of the day, my hope is you come away from this as sure as possible, because asking questions is very important in any medical decision.
This'll be quite long, so I'm gonna add a read more.
Please read all of it--SLOWLY--because being misunderstood on what my intentions are here would really suck.
This was very long and I need to focus on other things for the rest of the day, so if any questions arise that require a long response like this one, I will respond to more on another day. Have a nice day!
I would have responded last night, but I was finally getting to sleep at 2am after all the neighbors finally stopped doing fireworks.
These are questions I want you to ask yourself first before making any medical decisions (not just trans-related ones, but like... any kind of medical things that would change your life in large, difficult to reverse ways.)
Do me a favor: as you are a minor and people can use information you post online against you, please do not publicly answer these questions. Take them to a piece of paper or a notepad and write them down. Write these answers for you in private. These will help you determine how sure you are about transition.
Questions:
What problem am I trying to solve?
What is causing me distress?
When did I first notice it?
Can I describe it without using labels like "trans" or "gender dysphoria"?
If I woke up tomorrow on a deserted island with nobody around, what would still bother me?
If you can't identify the problem yet:
→ Spend more time understanding the problem before deciding on a permanent solution.
2. Is this about my body, other people, or both?
Ask separately.
My body
Which physical characteristics cause distress?
Are there any that don't?
If I could change only one thing, what would it be?
Other people
Is my distress mostly about how people see me?
Do I feel pressure to act like a "real man" or "real woman"?
Am I afraid of being judged for my interests or appearance?
Am I afraid of being "othered" by either transitioning, or remaining as I am?
3. Are stereotypes influencing my thinking?
Do I believe certain hobbies belong to one sex?
Would I still want to transition if everyone accepted masculine women and feminine men?
Am I trying to become someone else, or simply gain permission to be myself?
If nobody questioned how I dressed or behaved, would I still want medical transition?
4. Could more than one explanation fit?
This isn't asking whether you're wrong, so much as it's asking whether multiple possibilities deserve consideration.
Examples:
Gender dysphoria
Discomfort with puberty
Body image issues
Internalized sexism
Homophobia from family or peers
Trauma
Autism or difficulty fitting into gender expectations (this one is really fascinating. I urge you to look into this. I say this as a fellow autistic person)
Depression or anxiety affecting self-image
Have you seriously considered other explanations, even if you still believe transition is right for you?
I want to talk about my experience, as well as the experiences of my loved ones before we continue.
Gravely important: This is MY experience. These feelings I had are MINE. I am not saying this is how everyone feels, or doing over-generalizations. This is what happened to me, how I felt, and if anything connects at all with your own personal experience, I hate that you had to deal with it. Moving on.
I spent 10 years thinking I was something else because of discomfort with being sexualized, body image issues, homophobia from family and peers and also homophobia towards myself at the time (things have clearly changed since then), trauma (lots of different types. I have cptsd. It's worth looking into), autism, depression, and anxiety.
I had this deep discomfort with my body and when I saw online that there was an entire community that made changing who you were look like freedom (as well as community and support!!) I was sold for a long time on the idea. But there was a lot of problems.
I was identifying as genderfluid for awhile after the idea was presented to me, and then I settled for a long time on agender. I remember telling my mom, "I'm not a girl, I'm a person. I just want to be seen as a person." but why did I think that I wasn't a person if I was a girl? I'm a woman, and I'm a person. boys are men and people as well. i actually had this realization that this discussion with my mom happened back then very recently and I was so shocked. Back then, I didn't notice it at all, but at 31 years old, I now realized that 21-22 year old me didn't feel human unless I changed who I was, and that i had assigned the idea of being female as not being a person.
2. I had gotten to where I was spending a long time online, all alone in my room, isolated from others just in this group. When I first showed up, they all love-bombed me, and no matter what anyone said, they all said you were required to show support. You weren't allowed to ask questions, or they would see you as the enemy. If you wanted to understand what a label meant, they told you it means whatever anyone wants it to, which is the opposite of the point of a label. People all around me were trying to further isolate the people in the group, sayi8ng that their friends and family wanted to hurt them, and that they should cut them off from their lives. Burn the bridges completely. I don't know if I would have survived if I had cut off my family over the feelings I was having. I also saw push back against anyone who had changed their minds or realized things about themselves. They got literal death threats and doxxing over saying that they realized they weren't actually gay/bi, weren't actually trans... this was the group constantly talking about people being allowed to be themselves, but they told people who tried to be themselves that they weren't actually being themselves. That they were self-hating. That they were phobic. That they made the entire community look bad because they were another statistic... when in reality, people are fluid beings. We change all the time. Anything we do can be a phase, and it's okay for us to change our minds on things when we have new information about ourselves and about the world. I always thought it was really weird that people in the group called anyone who wasn't gay/bi/trans "repressed", when in reality, them being straight and not trans was just another way of being. Some people are so secure in who they are that they can do anything without changing anything about their identity. They're so cool... so strong to me. Even now it's scary to try and be who I am and just try to do anything even basic. Being online too much does bad things to a person.
3. After leaving Tumblr and TikTok--these were the places constantly insisting that everyone around me wanted to hurt me and that the outside world wasn't a safe place--it took years to stop being afraid of the people around me. When I left my house, it was the safest feeling I'd had. I'd go visit family and friends and they would hug me, give me wonderful food, be happy to see me, and it was a very soft, warm, welcoming feeling. When I went to the store, people smiled at me, waved, said hello, asked how I was, would hold doors for me, would help me if I dropped things on the ground or made the mistake of trying to use a hand basket instead of a cart... but going back home would just make this sinking dread set in. Online is deeply polarized and we get convinced we're victims all the time when this isn't true. Outside of these walls felt so much better. It gives me energy not being in this house where all of those scary memories are. Being here sucks the life out of me. Even now, I'm still not fully recovered, but I know more about my situation now. I've asked a lot of questions once I discovered it was a safe thing to do. I started questioning everything, even things that I whole-heartedly believe in. I'm finding out why people believe what they do, and learning why I do as well so that i can be whole-heartedly sure, and if I find new information later, I'll change my mind again. Because contrary to what the internet tells us, you're supposed to change your mind when presented with new facts. For too long I only did what my family did because they said that was what was right and what was true. But now I do some of their things and some of mine because I investigated and actually learned why we as a society do things. Getting out of polarizing spaces and being allowed to have nuance and not being forced into only one group/box has made me feel more human than ever trying to change who I was ever did.
4. I remember before i walked away from being agender that i was having thoughts like, "if I could be away from people, then I wouldn't have any issues", "I don't feel safe as what I was born as because of what has happened to me before, as well as people saying more things would happen just because I was born a girl." Other younger agender and transmen friends I had had similar thoguhts as me. We'd have heart to hearts about how we had those anxieties. There's a lot of stories online about fellow women talking about how they would live if they could just go to an all female island. I don't fully agree with that sentiment anymore, as I have met wonderful men who would protect me with their life because they are dear friends of mine. I've known good men in my family as well. I've looked at so many different polarizing groups online, and the determination I have come to is that it doesn't matter who we are born as, anyone has the choice to be evil, and when that choice is presented, we are supposed to decline it. I've seen lots of people wrongfully insist men are just... inherently evil?? Which is insane because like... those are people, man. Anyone can be raised wrong. I have met a shit ton of women who were raised to be the most self centered unsafe people ever, and men who were raised to be gentlemen who will always fight hard for the protection of women and human rights. Looking up information and actually meeting people and hearing their experiences in life helped me so much. Being in that bubble where no new ideas are allowed and no questions are ever allowed to be ask did such grave harm to me. I'm glad I met better people and got out of those spaces.
5. One more thing. I heard some horror stories where there were some terrible mistakes made by some doctors that were not able to be reversed because the person went and tried to get help, and the doctors would not listen at all. I'd link the example video I found, but it's been weeks since I saw it. Someone who transitioned while too young to understand (significantly younger than you) had the genitals constructed incorrectly, and accidentally was given skin in the clitoral area that caused hair growth inside the clitoris. Hair isn't supposed to grow there, so that is an extremely terrible and uncomfortable situation, and that person was basically refused help over a botched surgery. It's one of the reasons the person chose detransition as an adult. Obviously, that story is probably not the most common thing. I'm sure after that that doctor was likely sued for medical malpractice, which will help people in the future both in terms of medical transition, as well as other unrelated surgeries. I just thought I would tell you my findings. I don't know (nor do I need OR want to know what you would be changing from) just know that if you ended up changing something like that, that there are some unforeseen risks that can occur. I have another that I actually physically lived through seeing. My mom got breast implants when she was a young adult to make my dad happy (lots wrong with that already, but that's not the point of this post, so I'm leaving it as this for now,) and had to have one removed when she was in her late 40s because one of them started painfully creating a hole in her breast and was trying to push its way out of her. So she spent the rest of her life having to pretend to balance out the rest of her chest with one singular breast for in her bra, not to mention the general trauma of having to go through that at all. It's another freak accident and by now there may be better tech that would prevent such horrors from occurring, but either way, my point still stands: the risks may not be high that such horrors could happen to you, but the risk is not zero. Remember how I said puberty was a scary time for me? Well, I had wildly vacillated from wanting my breasts gone to wanting them bigger to seeing what happened to my mom and going "actually I like my body as it is, and I will not be adding or taking anything away from it" and I was probably 13-14 having these realizations. The implant was black. We thought mom had cancer for years or something. we're in America, so we couldn't just go get it removed at first. We we so fucking concerned. Seeing something like that changes a person. Changes one's mind real fast. It's one of many reasons that I also don't believe in cosmetic surgery, but that's another post in the making if anyone wishes to inquire.
6. One more thing: neurodivergence made me realize that a lot of my feelings about not being a person were because my brain worked differently. I expressed myself differently, spoke differently, had different thought processes, and it was needlessly alienating. So I was having to mask, and when I fell in with that group online who said changing who I was would make me happy, it was mistaken as getting to unmask when i was really just putting another mask on, and in danger if I took it off around that group. If by the end of reading my whole response you still believe yourself trans (not an issue), I ask that you become non-community about it. You want to be damn sure that you're changing for you and only you, not for others. Not even 1% for others. They don't deserve to take even 1% of your agency from you. I'm sure you and I both agree "my body, my choice", so make sure the choice is only yours. Let's continue.
I can't think of more to say about my experience and the experiences of the people I've met in real life and online so far, but I can be asked if you have any specific questions (may make something pop up in my mind that i forgot.)
Let's get back to the questions.
5. Have I explored reversible ways of expressing myself?
Things like:
Different clothes
Hair
Name
Pronouns (where appropriate)
Voice training
Different friend groups
Communities with fewer gender expectations
Ask:
If these helped, would medical transition still feel necessary?
6. What do I hope transition will change?
Things transition can potentially affect:
Some physical characteristics
Voice (depending on treatment)
Facial/body hair
Fat distribution
Social perception
Things it cannot automatically fix:
Trauma
Loneliness
Depression
Anxiety
Family conflict
Bullying
Self-esteem
Finding purpose
Ask:
Which problems am I expecting transition to solve?
7. Am I comfortable with uncertainty?
Questions like:
What if I transition and still struggle?
What if I don't transition and later wish I had?
Which outcome worries me more?
What information would make me more confident either way?
I also wish to add that the community often finds ways to say "if you identify with any of these basic things, you're probably trans/gay/neurodivegent/have a certain disorder/etc", but they never equally suggest the idea that often times, if you are presented with two choices, the first one that you choose is often the one you're subconsciously wanting. I can apply that to mos things, I'd say, but I also still wouldn't do this only on a whim. Doing it with full clarity is always the best move.
8. Long-term considerations
Practical planning questions.
Examples:
Have I learned about the possible permanent effects? (more than the things I've told you about. It's good to search about these things. You may hear stories from people whose views you don't agree with fully, or maybe at all, but I ask that you be politically agnostic with them, as it's a medical discussion and nothing more)
Have I learned about fertility preservation? (Obviously you're not ever required to have kids, but on the off chance you change your mind, you'd be happy if past you took the .00001% chance into consideration that you could ever want a family)
Do I understand that doctors will still need my biological sex for some medical decisions? (for example, they aren't transphobic it they need to know what you were born as to prescribe medicine because sometimes it is based on being genetically male or female, and it can put you in danger if you take too much medicine, or too little. This isn't a high possibility because often medicine will be tailored by weight or just by whether a person is an adult or a minor or whether you are or are not pregnant, but it's worth considering)
Have I considered what transition looks like during the years before I consistently pass, if that's a goal?
9. If everyone supported whatever choice you made...
Would you still choose the same path? Answer each of these. All of this is a thought experiment. The whole thing is.
If everyone celebrated me remaining my birth sex...
If everyone celebrated me transitioning...
If nobody cared either way...
Would your answer change? This helps determine things a great deal, because if a lot of it stems from external pressure, that's worth looking into. Even as a 31 year old, i am still working on how I am afraid to be myself. To say what i need to. To go certain places and have certain interests. But at your age, it was paralyzing. I couldn't speak up. They say be yourself, but it's easier said than done, especially when your peers want conformity. If nobody was around to see what you are right now... if nobody was here to see how you talk, act, your interests as you are now, and it was all just you... would you still feel any desire to change?
More importantly, ask yourself this:
If everyone celebrated me wanting to transition, but rescinded their support when I suggested the idea that i may change my mind, why is that?
I urge you to look into it. It's had me wondering for quite some time why this is. It's important that if you are transitioning that it is completely for you, and not because it's what the group wants.
10. If I was a gender other than the one I am currently identifying as now, would it change anything?
I have an interesting idea. If by the end of this reply you still think you're on the right path, I want you to experiment with something.
Try having different blogs where you express solely as a different gender than what you're expressing as now. Spend time with them for awhile and see how you feel. You're on a nonbinary blog right now, so have two other blogs for expressing as male and female. Being human should allow for experimentation. Go try out new things and express yourself in different ways, and always remember that there are people who WILL accept you if you end up changing your mind about things later. But for now, I want you to document your findings.
When i expressed as genderfluid, I felt limited in my expression, which is strange since I was told it was supposed to be as freeing as it gets. I felt like I couldn't like make up as a boy, couldn't like masculine things as a girl, and felt pressured to be as different as possible if I was neither. I was very repressed.
So what i want from you is to ask yourself while expressing in different ways if you feel repressed at all. If you do, that's an indicator that you have assigned interests, behaviors, and expression itself to genders, which in reality, most things can be done regardless of what you were born as (unless there are genuine physical limitations.)
11. Final reflection.
"I have spent time understanding the problem I'm trying to solve."
"I understand both the potential benefits and limitations of medical and social transition."
"I've considered alternatives."
"I've thought about long-term consequences."
"My decision is based on what I genuinely believe is best for me—not fear, stereotypes, pressure, or expectations."
"If there were no rules about what men and women were allowed to wear, enjoy, study, or become, would I still want to socially and/or medically transition?"
Yeah, I think I'll change my pinned from being against minor transition to "I don't believe in transitioning medically before your prefrontal cortex is developed" and I'll link this reply so if anyone else would like to know my thoughts, this is why. The reason i say this is because our prefrontal cortexes don't finish developing until around 25-30ish (on the later end for you and I, as we are both autistic,) and I think it would be safer medically to finish developing before making any medical and cosmetic changes to the body. It also gives you time to figure out if you're 100% sure, because I think by then if you still believe you need this, then I'd say you're probably good to just do it, especially if you looked over these questions and didn't feel like your plans have changed any. As a 31 year old, by this age, you stop caring what others think, and you take shit from no one. That's the truth with age. The older you get, the more done with everyone's shit you become. This is why I would hope people would wait until their 30s because by now, if you still feel that way, it is as close to 100% only your decision with no external pressure as you can get.
My hope is I was not misunderstood. I don't want people to feel attacked, or for people to feel like their freedoms are being restricted. As humans, we have free will. What always only ever matters to me is that we aren't hurting ourselves or others, and if someone is transitioning without being 100% sure, then that leaves margin for error to potentially experience harm yourself, which is a big reason I care so much about this.
One more little thing for anyone reading this: hopefully there are no misunderstanding about the pre frontal cortex thing. You are no longer a minor when you reach 18, so don't misunderstand and think I mean that people are minors until they're in their 30s. Only adding this to cover my own ass. Would hate for anyone to take a misunderstanding like that and run with it.
Anyway, this got turbo infinity long as fuck. I'm so tired. I hope this helped even one person. This isn't anti-trans sentiment. This is "we need to be informed before we do things that are permanent, no matter what those things are" sentiment. I feel the same way about adults transitioning, but by that age, they are better mentally prepared for those consequences. I only want people to lead the happiest and fullest lives possible, so knowing what we're doing is very important.
Sorry to reiterate so much I'm just really stressed about being misunderstood on such a sensitive subject manner.
why are you against child transition? do you meann medical or social transition?
Medical! They deserve time to figure out if that is actually what they needed. Social is debatable, but we can sort that out if need be.
My cousin was stressed about being female because she liked girls. She had a year thinking she needed to change who she was to be allowed to like girls, and then realized it was fine for her to just be gay. We grew up in the south, so it's easy to see why we thought that way. Now, we both are happy to be who we are. Puberty was scary for me too, but I'm glad I was given time to find out what I needed on my own.
We gotta let people learn who they are before they go change everything, and help people figure out if it's puberty being scary, or if there are other needs there. It's a very pro human stance to have, and I'd argue it's a pro trans stance as well if I'm given room to speak on it.
I was once not realizing during a conversation I didn't want to be in that I needed to leave, and that my drinking water on auto pilot was my body's unconscious way of trying to get that need met because there was a disconnect. My brain knew I needed *something*, that something was wrong, and it wasn't sure what, so it went, "maybe she's thirsty?"
Anyway, this could also be why people drink more water at work (aside from getting hot)
Important: it was heavily voted in favor for by both republicans AND democrats. I was seeing people insisting this is a republican thing, but don't be fooled. It's both parties. Both parties want the same thing for us. Please pay attention to this. Please call your representatives.
There is a new age verification bill that has passed the house in America.
They insist that websites "don't have to" verify your age, but then they say, "if you don't when you have certain content on your site that kids may see, you will get a huge fine" which is going to cause most apps and sites to panic and do it anyway.
If you don't think it will affect you, that's where you're wrong.
They aren't just talking about sexual content. They are talking about gay themes in media (even if they are only holding hands and not even doing anything sexual). Discussions of drugs (not promotion of doing it, but discussions of people doing them and how to get help) discussions of self harm (how to get help) discussions about changes happening to your body (puberty, as well as health-related issues), cursing (as if kids haven't heard worse things at the back of the school bus.)
So, here are ways this hurts people in general, but let's focus on the fact that it hurts minors, the people these bills claim to protect:
If a kid has a friend who has started abusing drugs, they cannot reach out to anyone to ask questions to start the process of getting their friend help. Their friend could die because of this, or the one who wanted to help them could end up pressured into joining them.
2. A kid tries to look up how to get help for suicidal thoughts and how to get help stopping self harm and cannot get help and dies because these discussions are age gated.
3. A kid is being abused in anyway, including but not limited to sexually. They try to figure out what counts as that kind of abuse to try and get help, but because it has to do with minors being abused in that way, the search is considered illegal, as well as age gated so that they cannot receive any help.
4. A young girl has found a lump on her breast, and is having some scary symptoms, but she doesn't feel safe to talk to her parents because they're abusive. she turns to the internet to try and get help to learn what steps she needs to do next, but because the images that show what those symptoms look like are medical images that show images of breasts, she cannot learn more about her condition. Over time, the symptoms get worse. In America, we don't have free health care, and we are getting more and more impoverished. She doesn't get the help she needs, and eventually loses her breasts, or worse... it travels to the rest of her body, and she dies a slow and painful death.
This is not about helping minors. This isolates them and keeps them from being able to have online friends. Get basic information that could help them when they're in a scary situation.
What this is is a tool to gather information about people so that they are afraid to speak due to retaliation. This isolation is also good for both political parties--who both agreed that this bill is a good thing, by the way. Your political party is not "the good one" they are both your enemy--because they need us further isolated. If we cannot speak and cannot find ways to reach each other because the websites and apps eventually reach the point that to access them at all you have to prove your age, it will cause a greater divide in the people. Divided, we cannot rise up against fascism together. People have a difficult time meeting in public now to try and make friends, form alliances, or even share interests. There are no third spaces anymore. This has been in the works for a long time. This bill is the perfect tool to silence everyone.
We frogs are in a boiling pot of water right now. I know some of you are so sex averse that you want all of it banned, but because you wouldn't properly filter out that content and instead insisted everyone else curate the whole internet for your experience, you have vied for everything being illegal.
Your animes are going to be banned from viewing, and if you think fleeing this country will fix the issue, you're wrong. This will chase after you everywhere you go.
We have to fight this. this bill is called the KIDS Act. Please look into it.
Look up what is happening in the UK. I'm not overreacting. They have the most arrests over social media posts in the world now. If you don't think that could be you one day, you're a fool.
Please raise Caine about this. We need to stand together, or we will fall. The next thing that would be required to fix this is revolution, and you don't want to know what it's like to be in a post-revolution country. You have no idea what we will lose. You do not go from dystopia to utopia immediately. There is a very long transitionary period of the country being lawless with people rioting in the streets, people killing, stealing, and raping just because they can. You will be hungrier and thirstier and dirtier than you have ever been because the services you have come to know and love will disappear. The stores will be ransacked. Please, for the love of god, I know you hate what we currently have, but don't take this for granter. Don't be a fool. God, please.
If you feel uncomfortable with reblogging things from me due to disagreements you have with beliefs I hold, please just steal the post and copy-paste it as if it's you're own post. This information needs to be seen. It doesn't have to come from me. I don't care. Just please get this in front of as many eyes as possible.
This is not the time to be like "I won't share or even look at posts made by someone I disagree with" this is a life and death situation. We have it GOOD here. Do you understand? I know we have our struggles, but they are nothing in comparison to the other countries. Does the fact that you won't have electricity anymore if we end up having a revolution do anything for you? What about the fact that your dopamine-fulled activities will go away? what about the fact that you won't see new updates on the video games you love to play for years, or maybe even the rest of your life while the country rebuilds? We don't have to have a revolution. We just need to work on our foundation, and rebuild some rooms of the building instead of breaking the whole thing down just because one room is moldy.
I know this won't mean we have instant revolution. I am saying that it will be all we can do to fix this if things go a certain way. I'm not overreacting. This is a worst case scenario that becomes closer to being real if we don't stop this fucking KIDS act. I swear to god please understand.
Hi. Read the whole thing before commenting, and remember: this is about real issues. If you try and make this about fiction, you will be blocked. I'm not fucking with you.
Couldn't even imagine how to begin tagging something like this. Let me start with a little backstory before I go into the point.
My family all had girls that developed quite young. My cousin and I were both a substantial size at 9. We felt stressed out about our bodies for a long time, like most people going through puberty do, to the point of wishing we didn't have them at all. This has thankfully changed since then and we like our bodies now, but that's beside the point. Let's actually go to the point of this post.
So, I was watching an art tutorial and the artist was saying that if you draw a kid with big boobs, you're being creepy. Anyway, this post isn't about fiction, it's about real life.
I think people have forgotten about puberty. They forgot there is a transitionary stage between child and adult. You don't just go from 0 all the way to 18. You have to grow up. The growing part is your brain AND your body. They experience lots of changes. YOU, reading this right now, experienced a lot of changes when you were a child.
The reason I wanted to make this post is that I take grave issue with people insisting that certain people cannot have certain body types. When you lump everyone into their own labels and put a strict descriptor on what that is, that's an issue. Let me give examples.
Important: Woman = 18+ female, Man = 18+ male, and girls and boys are anything below 18.
Women can be short as fuck, have no curves, and be flat chested.
Girls can get curves and breasts early, and get really tall. My cousin was already taller than me when she was 9 when I was 16.
Men can be surprisingly curvy. The men in my family are. It's a different body type. They were literally born pre-disposed to be like that.
Not all boys are going to get tall.
Some females will be more muscular than males. That's just how it is when you do the work for it.
These aren't all the examples, obviously. There are even more things than this, but it's close to bed time, and I cannot think for shit.
"But the artist meant NSFW, right? Why are you not talking about that?" because the artist was teaching how to draw in general, not teaching to draw NSFW, and also, I actually think it's more damaging to not depict a variety of bodies because people are getting to where they don't go and see real people anymore, and are starting to believe that what they see is all there is. Not to mention I can't give two shits let alone one what people draw because it's lines on a page. Pixels on a screen. I care about real issues. I don't fucking care. Do not de-rail this into being about drawings. This is about real girls experiencing real body and self worth issues over careless shit adults say.
There are so many varieties of humans. It sucks that we have come to this. This conversation is so stupid. This POST is so stupid. Why are we having to discuss this? Is this a joke?
Back in me and my cousin's day, we were stressed about our bodies. In modern day, they wouldn't have waited until those stressed girls had time to adjust to tell them that they need to change who they are. Not every person is trans. Shouldn't they be allowed to come to that conclusion themselves? Would you still love her if she stayed as she is now?
We need to help people understand that puberty is a scary time, and help people through that experience and help them get comfier in their bodies. Puberty is scary. Your hormones are out of wack, everything hurts because you're literally growing upwards of inches over night... do you remember growing pains? I don't think the stretch marks behind my knees ever went away.
They already feel grave discomfort with the changes because they usually spend as little as the first 8 years of their lives getting used to how they currently are, and then they wake up one day and they have their period? Their voice is different? Hair is growing in weird places and they smell different? Body parts are acting up at inconvenient times?
These kids already feel stressed as it is, and an artist basically said, "Your body is sexually inappropriate." that is what this post is about.
"But the artist is obviously talking about--" shut up. This post is about the world wide negative affects of insisting that young girls cannot have larger chests. Don't make this shit about fiction.
You can solve most inter-personal problems with basic communication.
Knowing the difference between venting and explaining is really important. Someone saying bad things have happened to them lately is not venting, and it shouldn't be treated the same way.
Venting: "My landlord raised my rent, my car broke down, and I'm stressed and angry about it."
Explaining circumstances: "My landlord raised my rent and my car broke down, which is why I'm currently struggling financially."
We should be careful not to redefine all unpleasant information as venting, because doing so can accidentally shut down necessary communication.
I don't feel like doing another image, so blue will be venting, and pink will be explaining:
"I need to express how I feel."
"I need you to understand what's happening."
Goal: emotional release
Goal: shared understanding
Feelings are the main subject
Circumstances are the main subject
Can be postponed
Sometimes cannot be postponed
"This situation is making me miserable."
"This situation exists and affects what I can do."
Letting venting people know you're not up for it is perfectly reasonable, but we have a large amount of people taking anything negative as venting, creating a new group of people who are completely avoiding all negative things.
Avoiding:
Refusing to engage with information because it is unpleasant
Mistaking context for emotional dumping
Prioritizing comfort over understanding
"I don't want to hear about problems."
People deserve boundaries, and also deserve to communicate important facts about their lives. Those are not mutually exclusive.
Setting boundaries is good, but understanding when to do them is just as important. I know it's been hard. I also don't want to hear about negative things. But when people in your house, in your friend groups, in your extended family, in your life in general tell you they will not hear explaining because they are taking it as venting, it causes a break down in communication that causes dangerous divisions whose consequences radiate across society.
If you say something someone else agrees with and then they stop agreeing when they learn that you hold any views that are not the same outside of the thing they agreed with, or you live in a different way that they don't agree with, they were not in solidarity with you, they were looking for someone else they could manipulate. They thought you were a foot in the door, and then you demonstrated that you have nuanced thinking, and then they attacked.
I'm sure this is a familiar feeling. If it isn't, pay attention to this. If it happens to you, then remember this post.
The good deeds and beliefs a person has are not negated by the bad deeds and evil actions they choose outside of those things. You can share views with someone who is incredibly evil without actually supporting that person or group. Things are not as black and white as they seem.
I battle my black and white thinking daily. I have a lot of neurodivergent debuffs and trauma that makes me more prone to black and white thinking. Thinking in shades of grey online can be very unsafe, but there are people like me out there looking for people like me. There are people out there like you looking for you as well.
If you have a movement where people are trying to gain basic human rights and you find out someone who supports you also supports other things and you throw them away and don't let them participate, you are keeping people who needed help from getting it. You need to take the win when they agree with one thing with you. Attacking them makes them change their mind, and they might actually go join a more welcoming group that is against everything you stand for, not just that one thing you were working towards. if we had this mentality, we could get SO MUCH DONE.
All we need to do is work together when we agree on one thing and we could actually do something about that one thing.
Please reconsider throwing someone away just because you don't fully align with their views. You're not religious, so why do you behave like the church casting people out over being gay? Politics has started to become similar to cults, and I need you to recognize this for your safety. Whatever you do next is up to you.
