Prizmo von Arschpuppe.

Just run with the random posts.

[kanine]

“the kind of white people white people dont fuck with” lmaoo

[imagine-lizardhat]

This guy just avoided being a Creepypasta protagonist like a pro

[its-spooky-bitch]

This is some r/LetsNotMeet shit

[retrogamingblog]

Halloween Starter Pokemon Stickers made by InkAndEcho

[laughoutloud-club]

Alucard

[teenscoolest]

[books-in-order]

I’m ready for the experiment!

[msmarvel]

chris evans lying in bed with dodger: a saga

[retrogamingblog]

A veterinary hospital in Mexico used Pokemon Go’s snapshot feature to turn their office into a Pokemon Center

[lulz-time]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[yourplayersaidwhat]

My players are having downtime and went shopping in between dungeons.

Druid: is there a place to buy clothes?

Me, DM: yeah the monk is at the tailor right now.

Druid: would they have leather items?

Me: nope, you’d have to head to the leatherworker.

The Druid strides in to the leatherworkers with confidence. I assumed he was going to buy armour.

Druid, ic: can I commission a piece, good friend? Something make of criss-crossing straps, covering the upper body and framing the assets for aesthetic appeal. Preferably with studs, and metal rings.

Monk, ooc: wait. This is a bondage harness, isn’t it.

Druid: of course it is! I have a Dragonborn to impress!

[yourplayersaidwhat]

“So, let me get this straight. We’ve got a germaphobic noble with unstable magic powers, a paladin who fights with the power of friendship, a bard who exclusively plays death metal, a catgirl and Literally Just Fucking Satan as a party this time around?”

~Our long-suffering DM after our character creation session went about exactly as she expected

[laughoutloud-club]

Better love story than twillight

[bitchycode]

[the-absolute-funniest-posts]

don’t do that couples

[femaleshits]

[yourplayersaidwhat]

When there’s three rogues in the party

Context: the party is getting lectured by the npc half orc first mate of a ship they’re on

Rogue 1: I want to steal his wallet.

DM: Okay, roll sleight of hand.

Rogue 2: Wait I also wanna steal his wallet.

Rogue 3: Yeah so do I!

DM: Fine, all of you roll and tell me what you get.

*rogue 3 rolls highest*

DM: Rogues 1 and 2, you both reach into the first mate’s pocket at the same time. Your fingers touch within his back pocket and linger for a moment. You feel… what is it, some kind of energy? You both blush. The first mate grabs both your wrists.

First Mate: Are you two serious? Can we not do this right now?

DM: Rogue 3, while he’s distracted by these two idiots you successfully steal his wallet.

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[femaleshits]