That Queer You Met Last Week in The Nutella Isle

Haven/Hazel (he/she/they/it) (20) (aroace)

[probably-haven]

Old account my current active ones that I'm disclosing are

@haven-gum-rockrose my main

Bsd rp blogs: @be-not-defeated-by-the-rain @long-death-dazai @graviturgy-chuuya

Pjo rp blog @unlicensed-field-medic

[probably-haven]

*appears*

*hugs*

*disappears*

On my dead main????? Who???? 😭 thanks, like my touch starved ass is touched by the sentiment but im a wee bit baffled still

[probably-haven]

holy shat... moots???? :O

Yeah!!!! You seem cool!

[eyesofaspens]

you would not believe your eyes, if 10 thousand fireflies, had gay sex before they all died

[eyesofaspens]

get this to 10k and i make a parody of the entire song on my uke

[breadwheathead]

@fand0m-fano12

[fand0m-fano12]

Yes sir 🫡

CMON YALL

@wheezecheese, @weird-kid-of-cringe, @weenietickler, @gigglestick-9000, @th34utistic-0ne, @weirdoisweird, @icechucker, @dazais-world, @wheezecheese, @insufferablewhore, @evvwenthome, @dokjas-lostselfpreservation , @d3w-dr0p5s, @bubblycherry07, @t0tally-n0t-lou, @ray-land17, @breadjazz, @immortal-baguette, @hazbinglazer, @always-emo, @iamafrenchnerd @idiot-squared, @muddino-haro-dinojustdino, @jellotheinternetpirate, @raskoln1kovsaxe, @queenofthegays15 @yumereblogs, @digitalcarboard, @fyodors-dusty-ass-hat

[windyskiez]

Aight second batch

@the-fallen-collective @lilliablog @insufferablewhore @bubblycherry07 @chuuyamylovewhygay @localmentallyillwriter @paintedgrilledcheese @myluckymoon

[chuuyamylovewhygay]

@bandagesquandering @insufferablewhore @boltsnbandages @chuyankhr @bloop-is-always-watching @leaderofthemafia @localmentallyillwriter @local-wasteofgoodbandages @long-death-dazai @warriorinarmors @winewinebloodwine @bloomed-demon

[unlicensed-field-medic]

Will, guess what.

Wearing a new pair of sunglasses

-🍉 @sneaky-melon

You stole another pair of glasses? [He suggests, tilting his head]

[sneaky-melon]

Yes I did, Apollo was not happy.

[probably-haven]

Can he not just make new ones?

[unlicensed-field-medic]

[Archer would be holding a puppy that was licking her cheek as she tucked on the back of Will's shirt, looking up at the back of his head.] "Have you ever considered having a type of pet?"

- @daughterofthesunandtheatregod

[Will turns, humming faintly where he'd been fully zoned out staring at the wall past his desk, more cluttered than before, faint bruising on the side of his head and peaking from under the sleeve of his short sleeve flannel] huh? Oh, its adorable [he says absently as he turns before zeroing in] oh, I mean i have a dog. My mom's dog, old girl.

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[Well, this'll be fun, meeting Will's mother. Now she's already thinking of what excuse she'll find when the question turned to her, which she is, she's already figuring it out. In regards to what he said, she'll scootch a little closer, lighting up a little the natural light that usually illuminates around her.]

"There you go," [she muttered.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

[It takes a couple seconds before the mist clears into an image of a woman who looks surprisingly like will did when hed first arrived at camp: with curly dark brown hair braided behind her(wills curls had faded some as he continuallybleached them), tanned skin coated in freckles, adorned in a jeans and a thick black and red flannel pushed up past her elbows, though her eyes dont match his, instead dark enough to be mistaken for black. She is sat lengthwise on a couch and appears to be on a phone call, nodding as she speaks in the same southern accent Will slips into sometimes]

- with the stage setup for tomorrow night. Aint there any way we can get em some back up for the sound equ- [she's talking fairly fast, biting the inside of her cheek, the interior of an RV visible in the background when Will speaks]

Keep going but also hi- [he says quietly, only to grimace his mom glances over, eyes widening before she grins and immediately speakin into the receiver]

Why, look at that, thats them now. You stay safe Ill call you back later [she hangs up and quickly sets the phone down]

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[She peeped over his shoulder, glancing between her and Will, tilting her head. Like mother like son, huh, sounds better than like father like son.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

You could've finished- [but its Naomi's turn to interupt now]

Baby, its been three months [her eyes narrowing skeptically] and you and your frie- sister? - sister, expect me to sit here worried while youre right in front of me? And after the last call

[Wills face scrunches] doont bring up that call. Truth curse truth curse [he speaks quickly.]

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[She pinched his back gently, patting it gently afterwards, waving at Naomi.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

[Will nudges Archer gratefully with a shoulder Naomi's face softens] You dont need to tell me everything, Will. But i'd've been a whole of a lot less worried if you did.

You wouldnt have. [Will shakes his head, his mouth opening to keep talking, which Naomi picks up on incorrectly but through luck manages to divert accordingly]

And you are? [She asks, attention turned to Archer]

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[Again, pinched him gently, patting it gently again. She blinked at her when the question was directed towards her and glanced at afterwards Will, then back at Naomi, opening her mouth with nothing coming out then closing it. Oh, okay, this is fine…]

[She cleared her throat, about to say something, but she had forgotten about Arrow because the tiny bark caught her off guard for a second, turning her head towards him. Oh well thank goodness that the dog was here-]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

Not one for talkin' [Naomi smiles,] well its great to- [and then barking starts to sound from her side of the iris message as well, will lighting up and Naomi rolling her eyes fondly]

Beatles? Here girl! [Will calls excitedly, getting a glare from Naomi a fraction of a second before a large yet visibly greed at the muzzle Blegian Tervuren vaults directly into her at full speed, tail thumping against her head as the dog turns, clearly seeking the source of the sound and no clocking the Iris message at all]

[Naomi meanwhile is leaned to the side to look past at the message, unrestrained grin on her face] all that staring at your voice its a wonder she didnt jump sooner.

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[Archer picked up Arrow and held her up towards Beatles, making sure his tail wasn’t hitting her face, tilting her head to look at Naomi better. This could be considered a good impression, very much so, right? Looking at Will, didn’t seem so upset, so we’re good.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

Archer, this is mom and Beatles [will introduces proudly, scratching Arrow on the head he nods his own head atbarcher] Mom and Beatles, this is Archer

[And recognition lights up of Naomi's face] oh Archer! Good to finally see the face o' the one keeping my son from losing his mind [she chuckles and will's nose wrinkles in embarrassment]

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[she looked between them, pointing at herself, looking at Will as though asking “you talk about me?”. Arrow barked happily at Beatles, leaning into the touch of Will.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

[Will shrugs at Archer while Beatles sniffs the air, finally setting her sights on the message, and Naomi talks] well, three months? Tell me everything. If you can remember, sweetie.

Well, two new people in the infirmary, dionysus and nyx kid- no the nyx kid might be dead, but thats fine. [Naomi clearly reacts to the name Nyx but doesnt say anything] Valentines happened. And the stupid plant i told you about didnt grow in time

It was a nice thought but also i told you so [Naomi says, prompting a groan from Will]

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[She’d nod to whatever he was saying, setting down the puppy on her lap, glancing to the side at the mention of Nyx with tutted lips. Can’t say for certain she’s not familiar with the goddess, blinking so her expression went back to normal, having to pay great attention to what he’s saying. Because, honestly, even she’s wondering when the curse will make him say something too honest.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

I just wanted to show i can learn to like the underworld- but I dont mom. Its dark and its cold and it makes you start [will lightly kicks Archer's foot. Hed ranted to his mom about the underworld before but there were some things, like the scar on his stomach, the only one he'd ever gotten] spontaneously bleeding which-

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[Archer got the memo with the kick, having already figured out how to execute the plan, which involved one thing an Apollo kid can’t necessarily be for too long. Which, is being alive and making it until like adulthood, but being sick counts as well. She sniffed before sneezing in her elbow, instinctively gripping his arm, pinching him when doing so.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

[Will winces faintly but manages to shut himself up. Which is good. He had a feeling Archer might have seen it treating him after the strix, but if not he didnt want her to know either, and especially not Nico.]

[Naomi looks between them, clearly noticing something happened but just says] wow, you two are siblings.

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[She cleared her throat and raised her head from her elbow, sniffing before lowering her hand from Will's arm, giving it a quick pat though. Archer wouldn't say she knew, it's not like she had an ability where she could scan people for injuries, noooo... She simply doesn't mention it, that's all.]

[Though, with what Naomi said made her a little confused, turning her head to look at her again.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

I'll let you two have your conspiracies [Naomi shakes her head fondly, though looking a little sad]

[Will pipes up then quickly, asking a question of his own to get the heat off of him] unrelated. You touring in New York any time soon?

Not soon [the sadness leaves as this gets brought up] in May though. Is that worth leaving your camp for, head medic? [Her tone makes light of the title]

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[Archer glanced down at Arrow, both of them looking at Will, nudging him lightly with her elbow. Almost like encouraging him to go, she can take his shift.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

We'll see. May is a summer month mom [will says with a grimace, genuinely not sure if he'll be able to]

[Naomi sighs] Youre your father's son now, I know. But you can take some time to also be my kid [she says, putting the emphasis more on "kid" than on "my"]

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[She, along with Arrow, nodded in agreement with Naomi in synch. This very, very big urge to say "I've been saying that and now look even your mom's saying it."]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

Im not- [Will starts before Naomi in her enthusiasm points at Archer]

See, thats four against one! [She declares proudly]

[Will jaw drops, affronted by this claim as he protests] mom! You cant count the dogs!

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[Arrow, in response, barked in offense. "Yes, it does," is what he was trying to say. Her fingers scratched the top of his head, shrugging at him, like she's not 'betraying' her brother this very moment.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

Will! From you of all people. Oh im going to tell Beatles you hate her [Naomi shifts to shake Beatles's face in the same overenthusiastic rough way Will plays with Mrs. O'Leary, apparently not exclusive to dogs the size of minivans. But Beatles seams to be eating it up, tongues lolling and tail wagging as Naomi coos happily] oh he hates you, doesnt he girl? Your savior and now hes trying to steal your voice. What do you have to say Beatles, hmm?

[Will just glares at his mom as Beatles's tongue rolls out of her mouth happily]

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[She snorted and turned her head to muffle it with her hand, shoulders shaking from containing a laugh, patting Arrow.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

This is psychological warfare [will's glare shifts into a pout as everyone in the call is against him now]

Are you going to say no to this face? Look how sad she is [Naomi says, having to use her whole body to turn Beatles to face the camera, who is panting happily, one pointed ear flipped inside out]

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[When having contained the laugh, she sighed, picking up Arrow and holding him up to Will. He, too, seemed happy while panting and tail wagging in glee.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

Doesnt look sad to me [will deadpans, unending in his resolve, though it occurs to him that he actually might not be able to make promises right now with the curse]

Then you must not know dogs that well because this is agony for her... She sleeps on your bed still yknow [She says, side eyeing Will with a complicated expression on her face, as Wills resolve visibly weakens]

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[Archer looked at him then at Beatles, looking at Arrow then at Naomi, feeling this was her cue to stop for now. She'd clear her throat and lower Arrow on the floor, patting him gently and cooing him softly to go wander around, straightening her posture on the chair afterwards.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

Im thinking about it. For all I know theres another quest that month [he laughs flatly]

Which you'll refuse for your mom, if not for your own safety? [She suggests with a familiar artificial hopefulness]

Im not trying to die mom. [He says with a roll of his eyes.] And its not like i wanted to go to tartarus. Sometimes things just happen

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[She pointed at Will with her thumb and nodded in agreement, looking at Naomi to confirm it was true what he was saying, of course it was with the curse and all.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

Well obviously [Naomi deadpans unamusedly, her face so similar to Wills] you wouldnt want to give your grandmother the satisfaction.

[Will rolls his eyes and fakes a gag which makes Naomi smile fondly] Texas politics [he mumbles to Archer by way of explanation before turning to his mom] ill think about it. I want to do it

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[Archer made an "ohhh" like face, nodding in understanding, as far as she can understand. Honestly, she feels like she's more of interrupting something between family, so she'll just- yeah, she's scooting away, veeeery slowly.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

[Will's eyes dart quickly to Archer with a questioning look]

[Naomi also seems maybe a bit more perceptive and insightful than her son, asking another question thats more Apollo-kid-y] so, how is that infirmary of yours?

Bad [Will responds immediately before scrunching his face but that seems to be the last of the words out of his mouth]

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[She stopped scooting away, having almost gone off the chair, already going to reach for Arrow and pick him up.] "Crowded, half of camp has been here," [she added to the 'bad' in her mind. Okay, sit back straight now, there we go.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

[Naomi lights up as she hears Archer but doesnt comment on it] mmn, yeah that does sound bad.

[Will stays watching Archer for a bit more trying to puzzle out whats wrong because he can tell something is but cant put his finger on it]

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

“It’s not bad, wasn’t always bad, just uh… some stuff happened that increased the amount of patients coming here,” [Archer mumbled while clearing her throat,] “some of them are stubborn.” [There was this very, very, small urge to add the fact that Will wasn’t even a patient and yet was as stubborn as they are.]

[Very small so easy to contain by shrugging and stopping there.]

[unlicensed-field-medic]

Yeah and a hephaestus kid tampered with the lava wall a while back and thats not fully fixed yet [will grumbles]

which we shouldn't even have a lava wall [Naomi says, nodding along in sync with will, having heard that line a number of times which prompts a smile from Will]

Hopefully the some stuff isn't too bad though

[daughterofthesunandtheatregod]

[Archer just had one thought that could answer that, glancing at Will with a look that very much showed she’s expecting something to come out of him, because for all we know Archer’s still sugarcoating everything while Will’s obligated to add lots of more salt.]

[probably-haven]

I mean not new since tartarus [he says, looking vaguely confused as he doesnt actually know why the sudden influx of campers happened] other than stuff I did but thats normal.

[Naomi nods and bites the inside of her cheek, Will's antics apparently very normal to her as well] mhm, im sure it was totally in your control, baby

[probably-haven]

okay but albedo is one of the most sleep deprived mother fuckers out there. Like you could argue that he’s a homunculus and might not need as much sleep, which valid, we love that, keep going with your theories on non-human constitution and actually- send them to me cuz i love those theories. but still! there’s no way his sleep schedule is healthy

and he’s probably like “it’s alright i have an alchemical supplement i developed that reduces my need for sleep.” and Kaeya or some shit is like “you mean coffee?” all sarcastic like and albedo

ALBEDO deadass is just like “No, I used to use that but I developed a resistance to it. What I use is more... potent in nature” and homeboy is probably like just barely functioning- like energy???? who is thatttt?????

Bestie on the urge of passing out 24/7 and probably drinks like pure caffeine because he’s a homunculous and he can and even if he couldn’t has alchemy prepared to balance out any ill effects. because he just needs to finish this one project like bestie no you need to sleep jsdfhkerusjdh oh- also do that one report on fatui activity in dragonspine that jean’s been asking for for a month. 

no not more alchemy- sleep gah! this little shit is almost as bad as Xiao istg. like “the adepti dont need it” my ass, youre so sleep deprived that even being near you drives people to insanity

udfsjkkerhuid these people shouldnt be logically alive and i need to know their secrets

[probably-haven]

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE INFILTRATION INFILTRATION OMG OMG OMG VENTI IS A WEAK MOTHER FUCKER OMG

SO ONCE HE’S FIGURE OUT NOT TO INDISCRIMINATELY ATTACK WEAK GODS HE’D GET INTO THE GROVE OF ATTACKING TYRANT GODS- BUT HE’S STILL ON THE WEAKER END AS FAR AS GODS GO- SO HE DOES THE THING- HE DOES THE THIIINNNGGG HE GOES IN OKAY???? AND PULLS A NAMELESS BARD- HE GATHERS THE PEOPLE, HIDING AS A SPRITE WHEN SUSPICION RISES. RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT????? EIUEJKSFHKUJFDGHFERSOUIDFGJFSEIUKJ BITCH 

ANYWAY ANYWAY ANYWAY RIGHT? SO HE GET THE PEOPLE, THE PEOPLE TO REBEL WITH HIM FOR THE FIRST BIT. AND THEN JOINS THEM LATER AS BARBATOS IN THE FINAL FIGHT. BUT IN HIS ARCHON FORM!!!! THATS HOW IT COMES INTO PLAY

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NO ITS PERFECT. HE NEVER GIVES THE BARDS NAME- AND IT BECOMES A THING- ANY BARD THAT SPEAKS OF REBELLION HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE BARBATOS- AND PEOPLE USE THIS TO THEIR ADVANTAGE AND IT SPARKS EVEN MORE REBELLIONS. FUCKING MORTAL BLOODOIKJESRHDFUESRJDFHGFNOESRUKJ THIS BOY AND VENTI HEARS ABOUT THESE OTHER “NAMELESS BARDS” RISING UP ALL OVER THE PLACE, AND MAKES A POINT OF BEING AT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR REBELLIONS 

AND THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE PROCESS IT’S GETTING HIM NEW FOLLOWERS BECAUSE THE IDEA OF THE “NAMELESS BARD” HAS BECOME SYNONYMOUS WITH BARBATOS AND MAKING HM STRONGER. SO EVENTUALLY THIS PROCESS IS ABLE TO JUST KEEP GOING ON ITS OWN WHILE VENTI MOVES ON FROM INFILTRATION TO OUTRIGHT OCNFRONTATION.

HE DOESNT WANT HIS FRIEND’S IMAGE TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH WAR, BUT WITH REBELLION AND FREEDOM, AND THE STRENGTH OF THE PEOPLE, THATS AN IMAGE HE WOULD BE PROUD OF UESJRHGESYUKGNDVEIKSTRGF PLEASE!!!!! AND THEN THAT DETERMINES THE USE OF HIS ARCHON FORM. ITS NOT FOR BATTLE, ITS NOT FOR GETTING FOLLOWERS, IT FOR THE SYMBOLISM OF DIVINITY WORKING WITHIN AND ALLONGSIDE THE PEOPLE FOR A GREATER GOOD.

THE ARCHON FORM IS ONLY USED DURING THE ENDS- THE FINAL STANDS OF REBELLIONS. THE NAMELESS BARD FORM IS USED IN THE CULTIVATING AND CELEBRATING OF THOSE REBELLIONS, AND THE SPRITE FORM FOR COMBAT OUTSIDE OF THOSE AREAS. 

IEKRUHFS BABY PLEASE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

[probably-haven]

Xiao probably bites people- and snarls

He's like one of them cat girls you saw in school and I mean this in most unironic way possible

Like it's actually kind of tragic....

[probably-haven]

If ganyu eats goat meat- like I know she's not.... But would it mean- like I know it wouldn't but- the horns-

[probably-haven]

What if adepti are like dolphins- like half of their brain is asleep while the other is functioning- it would explain a lot- just saying

[probably-haven]

Lmao Xiangling would try to cook Oz

[probably-haven]

imagine Xingqiu being a shit and gets chongyun the spiciest pepper out there and sneaks it into his food

and chongyun just fucking dies

like rip hope your family name can get you out of that one, your boyfriend just went ghost mode on you

[probably-haven]

in a modern au Lisa would be one of those people who just drives with a completely calm and casual/normal composure-

all the while she’s going double the speed limit, skidding on her turns, cutting people off, and just otherwise being a chaotic driver.

Meanwhile Jean is in the passenger seat just holding on for dear life

[probably-haven]

Ugh, I really need to look into Inazuma lore... But Ei's character highkey-lowkey squicks me out.... Why does reality have to be difficult.

[probably-haven]

also hot take: Xiao is the crustiest character in genshin impact

[towardslegend]

GENSHIN SPOILERS

so it's been established now that two archons died at khaenriʼah, right? what if thatʼs actually what caused its destruction?

we know from zhongliʼs first story quest that the death of a god can have environmental repercussions, and also that the impact of havriaʼs death ruined almost every part of the civilisation she had. zl also says that havria was a 'weak' god, yet the impacts of her death are still shown to be quite severe.

it surely follows that the death of another god, especially one as powerful as an archon, would have much harsher impacts on the land that havria's death did. could it be that the excess energy could cause immense destruction—even, with two gods dead, the death of the nation itself?

[probably-haven]

just think this is nifty cuz the unknown god’s cube power things were lingering around khaenri’ah in a vibe kinda similar to Havria’s salt, the unknown god seems to be associated with celestia, and celestia has the whole tilting/falling thing going on right now. 

anyway if Celestia is left without its sustainer, its key time for rebellion which would make sense why tsaritsa isnt smited yet. 

also this is kinda cool if the unknown god really is the time god like i kinda theorized cuz they likely would have predicted their own death, making the travelers their final alteration to future events since you cant see the future of those not from thise world in genshin

anyway i just think thats a really cool take i didnt think about

anywho alternatively cuz of allogene lore and the fact that the nature of the abyss directly opposes the nature of celestia, i just think itd be nifty if gold created or ascended(descended?) to the abyss equivalent of a god. lol unknown god!Albedo 4am is too late to be theorizing