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#Alice Watching The Greatest Love Story Unfold Right In Front Of Her

went into a wine shop the other day to buy pasta and they did not have pasta but they were doing a wine tasting so i thought what the hell. and got to chatting with the other woman there because we had both just come from the library and were comparing our books and sipping wine and turns out we’re both teachers so we got on the topic of phones in classrooms—and the guy pouring our wine was like ‘that’s actually a point of contention in one of my divorces right now.’

and i very delicately said ‘one of your divorces?’ and his eyes got really big and he said I’M A PARALEGAL

animentality

partiallypearl

your mother is a woman and women like her cannot be contained.

crazy-brazilian

captain-price-returns

At least one member of the British government is doing their job.

valtsv

me, wearing nothing but a sheer plunge-neck ballgown that’s plastered to my skin from the rain, soaking wet and trembling with cold and fatigue as i stand outside the entrance to the castle: p-please help me ;) i’m s-so lost and s-scared ;) ;) i have no where to stay for the night ;) ;) ;)

the sexy vampire lady who answered the door, and to whom the castle belongs: of course ;) you poor thing ;) ;) come inside, you must be freezing… you may stay as long as you need to recover from your ordeal ;) ;) ;)

whiteroserwby

You walked up to that house in the rain on purpose

valtsv

vstheworld

the fuck else would I be sloshing around in a wet ballgown for

nardacci-does-art

I drew it…. & animated it…

nancy-drew

NACE WEEK 2022 + COLORS ↳ color coordination

tmsource

times where, according to patrick jane, teresa lisbon's life was more important than his own requested by @alexiethymia

katebeckets

Every Episode of Timeless ⤷ 1x01 "Pilot"

There's always a mess. That's the deal. So now we make it up as we go.

flythesail

It Had to Be You

Fern rolled onto her side, muttering something or other—it was too early for words—and found Cliff staring directly at her.

"Good morning, lovely," he said, a soft smile on his face.

She frowned, blinking blearily. "Were you watching me sleep?"

"Mhm."

"Why?"

Read on ao3: A summer morning.

kosmogrl

liberalsarecool

Parasites don’t care when they kill the host.

maculategiraffe

I love Miss Manners

greggs-mistflower

Miss Manners was a delight. (I understand it's being continued with her children now.) She was not, I think, outdated. Her focus was not much on ice cream spades or how to charter a train for your wedding guests, but still-relevant advice about how to shake down guests for money (that's unmannered no matter what), and etiquette that it turns out has always applied even in modern times ("What do I say when I'm introduced to a homosexual 'couple'?" "'How do you do? How do you do?'") And she managed it with sometimes biting wit. ("Don't you think that, in this day and age, the condolence letter for a death is out of date?" "Which has happened: are people no longer dying, or are people no longer sad about it? Miss Manners is always eager to learn about modern advances.") As maybe kinda autistic-ish, she was an eye-opener.