I really sometimes want to post something interesting to this blog; may it be a mental health reminder or some insight or something interesting that happened, but honestly lately our life has been like…. horrifically boring.
People really think living with DID is this super fascinating thing, and it really often isn’t that much more fascinating than an average person. Yeah there are a shit ton of mental breakdowns compared to the average person but also like… thats not really fascinating or interesting? And its like…. all I’m doing is eating fruit loops right now. Not running around I dunno, messing shit up or anything.
I mean, early into having DID and trying to navigate everything, it can be pretty “interesting” to have I guess. Learning about your parts and trying to make things work and navigating the world with this new understanding and perspective is “interesting” but really, as you stabilize more it just gets kind of old and boring and normal.
I really don’t live an “average normal” life. An “average normal person” doesn’t regularly message in a discord full of 12 other accounts all of which they own; nor do they have like a minimum of two complete meltdowns a week. But really, as you get adjusted to living with the disorder and the mindset, a lot of it really really just becomes normal with just a few extra steps.
I have a fiance. I go to school. I go to work. I go to the gym. I play video games. I draw occasionally. I listen to music. I talk to people. I make friends. To do that, is there sometimes more subtle differences that I have to work out? Yes. Do I sometimes have to pull out my phone to message a part about something I can’t remember? Yeah sometimes. Do I magically teleport back from work sometimes? I mean, technically no but yeah it does feel like that sometimes. Is it weird or jarring for me? No, not really anymore.
It’s a bit funny how casual and used to “teleporting” and “timeskipping” I’ve gotten. I don’t really panic when I swear I was just at my computer or when I look at the time to see 4 hours had passed when I thought it was like half an hour. I just go “Oh cool, hope they had a good time” if I don’t recall what was going on and I just go on with my day.
With where we are, we function rather fine and well on a day to day basis of taking care of ourselves, our responsibilities, our relationships, and maintaining how hobbies. If it wasn’t for the fact we all opted to be generally overt (partially because we realized most people don’t assume you have DID anyways), we could easily look like a singlet.
Most of the work we have is undoing years of abuse emotionally and mentally and trying to actually move forward from trauma and become what we genuinely want to be and not what our trauma makes us be.
I’ve lost track a bit of where I was going with this, but I do remember that the point I wanted to make is that things with DID and living with it gets better. It isn’t a death sentence and over time things will eventually make more sense and just become kind of… normal.
So if any one reading is a newly discovered system or just figuring this out, that’s okay. It might seem like hell now and it might seem like there is no end to it, but do know that you can still live a good and enjoyable life. Do know that things do become more managable and simple and less chaotic.
You can be happy with this disorder.
You can and will eventually get to a place of stability eventually.
You have a lot of potential to heal and grow.
You aren’t too broken to live the life you want.
It might take some extra work to get there, but you - just like anyone else - can live a good life and be who you want to be.
