Welcome to hell

I sexually identify as a rough endoplasmic reticulum. Ever since I was a Golgi body I dreamed of transporting materials throughout the cytoplasm. People tell me that being a rough endoplasmic reticulum is impossible and that I'm a useless network of membrane, but I don't care, those guys are all useless centrioles. I'm having a plastic surgeon attach ribosomes to me and then I can create vesicles to send synthesized proteins. From now on everyone should respect my right to be a rough endoplasmic reticulum. Thank you for respecting my personal decision and accepting my sexuality.

[procrastinatingdeathiguess-blog]

Text convo with my friend today

Her: Guess what

Her: Your nipples are older than your teeth

Me, 3 hours later: HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSE TO GUESS THAT CLAIRE

[procrastinatingdeathiguess-blog]

PA, screams: IM GAY

PB and PC: no you’re not

[inactivewhore]

“Introducing, My Motherfucking man, Captain America,” - Leslie Jones

[iwontmindmp4]

this just does not sit right with me and i know he’s trying to be supportive but sometimes straight people are just homophobes and it’s not any more complicated than that

[procrastinatingdeathiguess-blog]

oh so you didn’t read his fuckin tweet?

[procrastinatingdeathiguess-blog]

how my school works

H.R.: *vapes in the middle of class*

Teacher: please put that away

*later in the week*

H.R.: *rips up tile in the school bathroom*

Teacher: *gives him in-school suspension*

[procrastinatingdeathiguess-blog]

Making slime

(Outside the school trailers)

S.H., hands covered in glue and blue dye: i just fingered an oompaloompa

[procrastinatingdeathiguess-blog]

Lunch time

a friend (i don’t really remember who said this): water has zero calories?

me: ...yes

friend:

me:

friend:

me:

rest of the table:

friend: ...oh