Malcolm could see that Amy was suffering. He never wanted her to feel this way but it was something they had to go through together. Malcolm will never forget the fear he felt and the heartbreak that caused his body to shake and his chest to ache when Amy talked about leaving.
Slowly Amy was letting him in, allowing him to get closer until he was able to finally have her in his arms. Wrapping his arms around her, holding her waist close to him with his other hand on the back of her head he cradled her in his arms. Slowly he rocked them back and fourth in his arms to sooth her “its okay, its okay” he muttered into her ear as he closed his eyes for a minute as the world felt like it was beginning to stop spinning so fast.
Malcolm could feel how weak Amy was in his arms and knew what that felt like, slowly he guided her to the floor so they could stay connected. Rubbing her back soothingly after a while he spoke “tell me how your feeling” he asked softly and cautiously “shall we try going back to bed?” he suggested as he lent back a little to look into her eyes “maybe we should get some matching leather straps for you” he spoke light-heartedly in a soft mumble.
Despite being completely at ease with Malcolm, there was this deep, prominent part of Amy that needed to stay in control of her emotions, to not let it all out. Her entire mind was set on stopping the tears, on burying it all back, deep inside. It was hard to acknowledge that all the trauma she had locked down for years and years was trying and slowly succeeding to break through. All she wanted was to live a somehow happy life with Malcolm and yet, here she was, ruining everything. Needless to say, it was even harder bringing herself to talk about it out loud. “Drowning,” she whispered breahtlessly. It was hard enough muttering this one single word, let alone a whole sentence of those.
Amy felt like drowning. Everything was just too much. She could have gravely hurt the man she loved, if not worse. On top of that, it was the first time her body reacted so violently to a night terror. Usually, she would simply be incapable to move, her eyes stuck on the faceless figure staring at her from afar, but this time, it had been different, and Amy did not particularly like different, especially not in this situation. At his suggestion, she shook her head violently, pushing on his chest like it was the bed she was trying to get away from. It took again all her energy to muster up a proper sentence as her nerves threatened to snap once more. “We can try the couch…” After what had happened, there was no way she would agree to go back to bed for the night.
She could not hold back the desperate laugh that left her quivering lips but also sent a few more tears rolling down her cheeks. With the help of Malcolm, she was slowly recovering. They both made their way to the couch with pillows and a light cover. She let him lie down first before joining him so she would be wrapped in his embrace. It was the way they supported each other in their own trauma, she thought, that made her feel so comfortable with him. Or at least it was part of the reason. But she knew she could say it like it was, raw and hard, and he would understand her. And so would she. “Malcolm,” she called finally after a few seconds of silence. Their eyes met in the dark.
Amy could finally understand how painful it must have been when his ex partner broke up with him after one of those night terrors. Had he done the same to her - as if he had been capable of that -, she would probably not have recovered from it. Without a word, she pressed herself into his chest and nuzzled her face in his neck, her body language enough to say how sorry she was he had to go through that before. “I love you…”