Welcome to my Research Lab!

Hello my name is Professor Alfred Sequoia, but you can call me Alfred if you prefer! I'm coming to you live from the Ruins of Alph where I've set up my lab. I'm the leading Pokemon Professor for all things Unown and the elusive Mythical Pokemon! Feel free to ask me any questions you may have!

[tagfer]

it's a vending machine! what you getting

[unown-sanctuary]

*You are now cursed with 48 hours of only decaf*

Oh you poor foolish anon. We accept deliveries to the sanctuary, not your magic this site bestowed upon you. And why would I bend to the whims decaf when I'm on the brink of scientific breakthrough‽ I am unstoppable in the eyes of Unown behavioural science, and no one can stop me!

Thank you for asking!

[craftsman-and-mover]

Least insane unown researcher.

[unown-sanctuary]

By default!

[professoralfredsequoia]

It's not much of a contest anyway...

[pokemonbattletournament]

Tumblr's Favorite Pokémon Round 1 Matchup 270

Unown vs. Type: Null

Unown

Type: Null

Voting ended onMay 22, 2023

[sargassosky]

[adobe-outdesign]

I was thinking about what social media, Tumblr specifically, would be like in the Pokemon universe. conclusion: not that different

[nerdpokemonheadcanons]

Unown have the unique conservation status of “controlled species”. The government keeps close eyes on their population to make sure it never gets too big.

[missingnope]

[windynebula]

You know what I want? Culture clashes between the pokemon regions.

Someone from Unova travels to Kanto/Johto wearing a t-shirt with a big R on the chest. They get dirty looks for it and have no idea what’s going on.

A Kalosian meets someone from Sinnoh and keeps standing too close to them. The Sinnoh native keeps stepping back uncomfortably, but the Kalosian keeps stepping closer.

Someone from Johto goes to Unova and ????EVERYTHING IS SO BIG=????

A Hoennian meets up with a Kalosian and the Kalosian goes for cheek kisses while the Hoennian goes for a gentle head butt.

[akiraita]

people from johto visiting sinnoh get pulled aside by police because they don’t know that keeping your pokemon outside its pokeball outside of amity square is illegal

trainers from kanto and johto wondering why the game corner doesn’t give out pokemon as prizes

kanto trainers expecting to be given a bunch of rocks for playing in the sinnoh safari zone and instead finding out that you’re supposed to throw mud at pokemon

“what the fuck are you doing” “i’m slathering honey all over this tree to attract wild pokemon to it” “why don’t you just fucking headbutt it you dumb shit” “e-excuse me what”

a lot of discourse on the proper way to plant berries (“just plant them in the ground it’s not difficult” “yes okay but have you heard of berry pots” “do you just plant them wherever? why would you do that just get your own berry orchard” “I CAN ONLY PLANT BERRIES IN MY DREAMS”)

kalos trainers getting really confused when they take their clefairy to kanto and it’s getting its ass handed to it by fighting-types

unova/kalos trainers getting really fucking sick of foreigners trying to eat their vanillite

[spitblaze]

Hoennites going to Sinnoh and not realizing how COLD it is and they’re freezing the whole time but everyone else is just sorta used to it

Conversely, Sinnohians going to Hoenn and not realizing how hot it is and they don’t have any warm-weather gear so they’re sweltering the whole time

Cyclists from Kanto Johto Hoenn and Sinnoh wondering where the hell Cycling Road is. Where is it.

A Hoennite bragging that someone from Rustboro city found out how to resurrect Pokemon, only to be shot down by a Kantoian who says that some guy on Cinnabar Island figured out how to do it YEARS ago

People from Unova and Hoenn coming to Kanto and Johto and getting really really frustrated because HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MOVE THIS SNORLAX and thinking the locals are pulling their leg when they tell them to play the Pokeflute for it.

Johtoians having to patiently explain to foreigners that slowpoketails aren’t a delicacy, but are, in fact, VERY illegal.

People from most regions getting really intimidated by Goldenrod City and how weird and dirty some of the city is, but Unovans feel right at home.

[megacaldera]

Visit Original Link

Time for my yearly audio-broadcasted cuss word. 

[megacaldera]

Oh, last year’s Maxie… You hopeful, fresh-eyed little bauble of a man… You had no idea about anything, did you?

[swoodthis]

A group of Unown is called a keysmash

[deliciousdex]

Delicious Dex: #201 Christmas Cookies Unowns If you had any idea for future pokemons and what food they should be based on, please be free to suggest, can’t promise that I will make them and I will try to put your name on the description if I make it.

[tamamoarts]

*slides in and leans on the counter*

Hey babygirl I don't mean to brag but I can read Unown almost flawlessly

[adobe-outdesign]

Your opinion on my beloved Unown?

Unown are fun because you would think a Pokemon based off the alphabet would be really boring, but instead you get these funky little symbol guys that stick to walls and then peel off to just float everywhere, which also happen to have a giant eyeball for a face and nothing else. Love that. Honestly I’m kind of surprised that they didn’t tie them to the UBs when those were introduced, as they both come from a different dimension and don’t have a real face like many UBs. The only real difference is that they’re much, much weaker than the other UBs.

As far as I’m concerned, the design for all of these guys are good, and the theme is clear and fun. If anything, the only problem with them is that not much is actually done with them. Despite how mysterious they are, they aren’t particularity useful in battle and aren’t really relevant in-game. It feels like they could’ve almost been pseudo-legendaries and been used to unlock one of the Gen 2 legendaries, but... no. Hell, their only move is hidden power, which would be interesting if they were the only ones to use it, but no.

The anime depiction does something interesting, in that they can read minds and “grant wishes” when chained together. A recent Journeys episode actually went a step further here and had some Unown create permanent night for a kid, wherein they literally spell out “night”. That’s really cool, and it makes me wish we saw something interesting like that in the games, especially because you don’t have much of a reason to collect all of the forms as-is. Maybe you could chain them together to spell words, and those words have an effect in battle (maybe weather or something)?

I also think these guys would be a good pick for regional variants based on the alphabets of the new region they appear in (for example, cyrillic Unown for the Russia region). Give them different symbols and maybe change the base color (or add a color; gold tips might look neat) and you’d be set.

Final side note: these guys also lend themselves to one of my favorite Pokemon cards

In conclusion,

[irate-pokemon]

HALLOWEEN

[professoralfredsequoia]

Pokemon Facts! With Professor Alfred Sequoia!

[mossdeepmedium]

Wild Unown sleep on cavern walls, so they’re often mistaken for hieroglyphics by passerby’s.

At least, until the Unown wake up and swarm 

[sexyalchemist]

*slips my labcoat down to expose my shoulder in a scandalous and homosexual way*