The Right Dom (for you)
(This is my first blog ever so apologies in advance for any mistakes)
Okay, so you watched 50 Shades or some hardcore porn or read some BDSM erotica and that got you tingling down there, now you want a Dom. Fantastic! You started googling sites, communities and places where you can find like minded people and hoping to find a Dom.
Your wishes come true & you meet someone who tells you ‘he is a “dom”’ and lo and behold you start to act little submissive calling ‘sir’, ‘master’ and “acting dumb”, trying hard to recall the behaviour you saw or read in your last movie or article all just so he can accept you as a Sub.
Ladies, I implore you, please stop behaving like this. This is a sure shot way to land into the hands of an abuser than a Dom
I have seen this behaviour tons of times and I am so fed up with this, hence the reason for this blog.
Before you jump into DS Relationship or any BDSM Relationship for that matter, be absolutely clear on few things.
Yourself
BDSM
Your ideal Dom/Partner
Ok, now how to do that? Obviously I wont be spending time writing about it & not tell you how you do above things when I can clearly spend time on something more productive .
Before we move forward, a quick disclaimer: Thoughts and advices shared in this and all subsequent articles are subjective. I am not a professional BDSM expert. Use your own head, think for yourself what is and what is not applicable to you before accepting/implementing them. I am not liable for any of your loss. In short, don’t be a dumbass.
Now, thats out of the way, lets move forward…
Lets focus on You
First and foremost thing is be clear on what do you need and why do you need it. Do you really need a dom or do you just need to be fucked hard in the bedroom(or wherever and whenever you desire).
If its the later case then don’t even bother getting into BDSM, find a kinky guy and get nasty.
If you think its former but you are unsure, here is a quick test:
Do you often adjust your behaviour (whether you like it or not) to suit others?
Do you depend on others (even though you can be/are independent)?
Do you often help/serve others even though they take advantage of you?
If you nod yes to above questions then you can consider yourself in the former category. Above questions are by no means the sure shot way of knowing but it can give you a general idea of where your personality might lie
There are still far too many factors to consider and to look out for but thats for another time
Lets bring our attention on BDSM
LEARN LEARN LEARN.
Know what you are getting into. Don’t expect dom to teach you everything, you’ll be surprised how many doms don’t know jackshit about BDSM. There are far too many wannabeas than authentic doms so be aware, be alert & be prepared.
Know where you fall or you think you might fall, you can obviously test & experiment with your dom but dont label yourself as a sub/slave/maso/sado etc. No one belongs in just one category.
Learning about BDSM will save you tons of heartache, body ache, time & energy. BDSM is hard!!!! So be sure if it is something you need
About your Partner
Unfortunately BDSM space is filled with wannabes and fake Doms, so how do you find the right one? You do just one thing
Test Test Test
The best way to filter through any bullshit is through asking tons of questions. The trick is to ask right kind of questions.
Some of the categories that you should include
Their experience - online (if there is such thing) & offline
Knowledge about BDSM (your knowledge about the subject will come in handy here)
Knowledge about emotional intelligence - this is by far the most important and most neglected topic of any BDSM relationship
Knowledge about scenes & safety
Situation related
I’ll soon post questionaries
Till then 🤟
A
