Still wanna be holy

Something about me. Sometimes about music.

[projectjen-blog]

Sakura, are you kidding me?

One could not make this up!

I thought that Fusi-san was harder to see than Hanami. I couldn't have been more wrong.

During all previous years I went to Japan in March as usual - with variation from 1st till 26th of March depending on the events that defined my schedule. And Sakura, real Sakura, not early blossom, was not early than 10th of April. I just had to see the different photos and drearily yearned for. 

The last year was more insidious. I flew exactly the day when the beginning of the season was announced, thanks to the old tree Sakura-sama in the Yasukuni park, which blossomed. 

And, at the beginning of 2018, I was sure - I would not skip Hanami blossom. I will arrive on the 5th of April. And will be able to see the beginning or the high point of Sakura blossom.

Whoopsie! But no! >.<

In this year due to abnormally warm weather Sakura has blossomed for some days earlier. And the high point of flowers was during a week - from 26th of March till 1st of April. 

And...drumroll...

I will not see the Hanami in 2018, I still not deserve it XD

Okay, that’s the reason to admire glycines in May.

[projectjen-blog]

Victory. Next step

And now I can tell about it.

My life will be changed from 5th of April

This path was so long. The path of tears, bewilderment, and fear. The path of hope, dreams, and ambitions. The path of references, documents, and correspondences. The path of bits of advice, answers, and questions. The path of apprehensions. It was the path which I had chosen and which had to follow even when I desired to deviate from. 

It was a long path to go, I had to clench my teeth, and at times denied myself in many ways. It was a path of betrayals, support,  refusals and positive decisions.

I really don’t know how it will be in that future. I do not know how much it will coincide with my expectations.  I don't know if I can cope with it or withstand there. But I know exactly I will do all my best and not regret solution I had taken. 

Nothing to regret.

This phrase in ligature was placed on my right wrist from last year. It reminds me every my decision is mine, and it is necessary to be responsible for any result, and accept it as it is. Accept, make conclusions and go on. 

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

And that really is so. Because of decisions came from where they were not expected and suddenly those people whom help was not waited from.  Throughout these two years, every step, every day, every action. Every time, when I felt a big panic and it seemed that everything lost, I found or I was suggested solutions. And this path was in progress, again and again.

I know who and when became my start point. I remember what prompted me to undertake all these things and actions. I’m sure without this motivation from on high I might not have brought myself to it, never. But, if I started this, I might as well go all the way.

All dreams what we are thinking about must come true. And now it is a time to think out a new dream!

But why do I speak of all this?

On 5th of April, I will land in the second Narita Airport terminal. And it will be the time when “tadaima” is not only for two weeks. I’m coming home. I’m sitting at the table and writing this post and there is a passport near me. And the duration of stay - 1 year and 3 months - worms up my heart. Sure, it will be great to extend this term for years. But I know, there ain't nothing I'm really looking forward to. Just dream and make this dream come true.  By steep and toilsome ways to the stars. With happiness, sure. I just... it is hardly believable yet. I still can’t come to grips with. Probably, this understanding will come a bit later; after two weeks, such habitual two weeks, I will understand I have not to leave the country again.  There is a year of Japanese language school before me; new trials and accomplishments, new challenges and solutions, new ups and downs before me. There is an absolutely new life before me. Just because the immigration differs from tourism. But I open this door and feel happiness. 

I almost did not tell anyone about my plans: when, where, why. Only the closest people knew about it. And that people whom I asked for support. And I am grateful to them, to everyone, without exception, for their support; for faith in me. This also gave me a power, especially at that moments, when I  gave up, withdrew, didn't care. Because it is impossible not to believe in myself when others believed in me.

I’m very grateful to everyone who knew about my dream and told or wrote me necessary words of support. You even cannot imagine how much it helped me. Helped to do this step.

Hi there. My name is Jen, I’m 31 and I radically change my life.

And I’m happy!

[projectjen-blog]

Perplexity

Could somebody explain me how the pronunciation of the easternmost country of the world named Nihon (Nippon) turned into Japan in English, and even Япония in Russian? How is it possible? 

[projectjen-blog]

Phenomenon

Along with the presented new song [Falling] of the Gazette’s new album [Ninth], my lovely men also announced the tour named [Phenomenon] with seventeen live shows in it. 

It would seem, well, what could be simpler? You choose the date, then go to the Heresy site and buy tickets, pay for them and until the day of the concert, sit on your ass and wait.

Ahaha!

Little foreword. Last year the Gazette was under the sign of different scandals. On the 15th Anniversary live there were a small number of fans from Japanese FC who were able to attend this event after a lottery. The lion’s share of tickets was in the hand of foreign fans. After that, some Japanese fans became to hate us, and they demanded to equalize all conditions for every fan or even to close foreign fan-club. On the “BIAB 3”, this situation did not change and outrage of Japanese fans reached its apogee. Personally I during Abyss live heard such conversations that we, foreigners, pissed the fuck off, and these five men are not ours for receiving the biggest goodies in the form of guaranteed tickets for concerts.

At the beginning of this year, a new scandal erupted on the topic of the fact that the foreign FC is too carelessly ripped apart and shares the information of Heresy. We even were receiving warning letters. And many fans laughed and didn’t believe in sanctions. 

But retribution arrived suddenly. 

Yesterday, together with the announcement of the new album and the new tour, it became clear that the ticket purchase system has now been changed. And changed into an extremely inconvenient form. Make a long story short - we (foreign and Japanese fans) became equal. Now everyone without exception wishing to get to the concerts of the band is forced to take part in the lottery. But this is not the worst thing. Next cognition was sad: electronic tickets were introduced. And then the entertainment began.

The main point of the new phenomenon is quite simple in its essence: you register on the site, after that you download the application,  install it on the phone (the main thing is that your phone supports this app), and if you win your ticket, it comes to you on this application, and you similarly show it at the entrance to the club. It seems easy, right?

Ahahaha, fucking shit!

Okay, it was not a problem. I downloaded the fucking app. The application was loaded and swore me that I have two numbers pulled up (well, yes, I have two fucking sim-cards in my smartphone). And this means that I’m trying to cheat and use two smartphones for one registration. Okay, go to the settings, turn off one sim-card, try to pull again. The application swears and issues an error, it refers to the FAQ, link to which is nowhere.

I go to the site with registration on it and receive a mail with my password. Well. But I can not try to make a purchase for two reasons: the application does not work with the phone, and the link is not working on the site because the tickets will be available only from 5 am on the 10th of March. Without understanding, I go to sleep at 3 am. 

Since morning attempts to crack the fucking system have been resumed. I came into the site, but then something interesting happened. The site began to require the registration of all data, but at the same time allowed to enter only the Japanese address and telephone number. But, no, it doesn’t arrange me, I am still a member of a foreign FC, what the hell?! I’m picking on the site, I’m looking for the same FAQ, I even find it. But there’s not a word about my problem. Moreover, the site itself claims that if a user has problems with the site and the application, it is necessary to leave a request for a ticket on the site of Heresy, and they then coordinate what to do next.

Okay, I go to the site and -  whoopsie! - the request form does not work, how it did not work from December! Whatever I wrote in the “Request Details” box, the site swears that it contains invalid characters. Attempts to reach the site and the Heresy were unsuccessful, and it was probably the first time in all my four years with these guys when I wanted to surrender and give up.

But, no, challenge accepted! 

Having inhaled, having exhaled and having squandered on affairs, I have returned to storming the site. First of all, I wrote to the technical support of the application, asking what I should do if I’m from Ukraine and do not have a Japanese address? And since I was too lazy to wait for an answer, I again tried to find a page where foreigners could do it. By the way, all this time there was the main question: is the lottery for everyone now or not?

Then the beautiful happened because when I tried to go to my personal page, the site suddenly swore and told me that my password does not fit my login. ‘What the hell again?!” - I thought and pressed the button “I forgot my password." 

 - Sorry, - the site blinked happily to me, - but there is no such a login in our system, nor there was. And the date of birth, too. And name. Who are you?

I never wanted to hack the system so earnestly as this time. Simply, already from the principle, even if I will not get to the concert later and these 7 thousand yen just will burn. This has already become a matter of principle. 

Okay, I just started over again. First I deleted the application from the phone and went to the site. From the site I chose to "install the application”, moved to the google app, installed. On the site I made a registration in a new way, and suddenly (yesterday it didn't work) a confirmation letter fell in the mail. I clicked its link and the site asked me: Are you Heresy-member?  I was like [O_o], but pressed “Yes”. The site politely asked me what my number and password are, I put them in and …

The pressure is on!

I was immediately sent to the English page of this fucking site with a list of all 17 concerts. Choose a concert and go further. And then site asked my credit card. Wow - was my first thought, - so we don’t have the lottery, do we? Yes, I have not much money,  but as I have already decided to go all the way through, I will think about how and where to earn this money later. The site also accepts this information and throws it to the confirmation page. I press the confirm button and -  yes, the lottery will be for everybody. 

And now you can not apply for more than three different concerts. Goodbye, my dream to attend all concerts of the tour (lol). 

What a result? Yes, we all became the same, equal. The money will be withdrawn automatically from my credit card on April, 9 if I am the winner. If I am not, I’ll just get a letter about it. The funny thing is that the app on the phone was tight without problems either, it chose one of two numbers and didn't swear and everything was fine.

One and a half days of dancing with a tambourine, swearing and a desire to skip it all. But no, I have reached the end. Now I’m waiting for confirmation that I won!

In the end, we have a situation with the fact that we are all equal - both the Japanese FC and foreigners; we have a situation with the fact that both the application and the site are extremely crooked, but they can also be handled; we have a situation that everything has become complicated, but now it looks like “only the most persistent person will get to the concert”.

And at the same time - I’m moving on! Having worked over and over, I go further. And just do not leave them alone.

But I will remember this adventure for a long time (lol).

[projectjen-blog]

One thousand steps

Then you look back and notice the long chain of footprints. That's when you realize how long the way was.