[promethean-soul]

I'm still waiting for that moment

I will wake up early in the morning before my significant other. I will make coffee, get out in the porch and drink it while the sun rises. She will come silently and hug me from behind telling me to go back to our bed cause it's too early.

I promise I'll smile, take a deep breath and appreciate everything in my life

...and then I'll go back to bed. Just give me that damn moment.

[promethean-soul]

So young

...yet so fucking tired

[promethean-soul]

You lost some good chances you know. 

Like when I told you “don’t kiss me, I have a cold”. 

Maybe all I wanted was you to answer “you are worth catching a cold” while sucking at my bottom lip. 

Yeap, that was a good chance baby…

[promethean-soul]

I should be drowning between your thighs

But look at me baby

I’m drowning in our memories and in this fucking rum 

[promethean-soul]

Well you look good next to your new love. You almost look like those moments when i made you cum. First of all you look at me straight in the eye. Yeap, you got my attention baby. Then you ignore me for a moment like your soul is no longer part of your body.And finally that stupid smirk of yours. 

Just keep in mind that you always came back for more. 

[promethean-soul]

I just found your blog and couldn’t stop scrolling down🧡 your writings are so beautiful!

Appreciate it❤️

[promethean-soul]

Give me your hands...

Your hands are the most beautiful thing in the world. They touch, caress, feel, write love letters, clap and give support, save lives, make love to bodies and hold tight on the things your heart is not willing to let go.

Give me your hands...

But in the same time they are dangerous. It's your hands that will beat, slap or scratch and cause pain. Your hands will sweat or tremble and give away your emotions. They will betray your heart and eventually let go.

Please give me your fucking hands...cause mine got tired while praying for the beauty and not the danger in them.

[destroymylife]

[promethean-soul]

Come to bed. Lay with me. We don't have to fuck. Turn your back at me and I'm gonna kiss your spine till you fall asleep.

[promethean-soul]

Don't settle for anything less than what you deserve. You lower your standards everyday and end up hating the only person who should love you unconditionally. Yourself. I don't need someone who missed me because of fucking tequila. I need someone who downed a bottle of it just because they missed me. I need someone who falls in love with me harder everytime time that I hit rock bottom. It's easy to love someone perfect. But you don't need perfect. You need real, tough and raw. Those three words describe life. Anything else is just bullshit. Perfect is a word for God. And I'm sorry but I'm not religious. Don't be selfish and settle for someone to avoid loneliness. Remorse is gonna kill you.

[recaption]

[promethean-soul]

I'm just laying in bed, exhausted after another panick attack.

And it just hit me that one day I'll be gone. Like...dead. I'm not gonna be alive anymore. Everyday we are slowly moving towards the day that our heart will stop beating and our mind will shut down. I mean seriously everytime my throat hurts i tell myself that I'm gonna quit smoking. But i never actually quit. What if i was close to dying? I guess I would live my last days in a different way.

Then why the hell I don't already live a different life? There's plenty of time. But not infinite.

Tomorrow i should hit the gym. And i should do it again the next day. Maybe a healthy body will give me more time until the end. Also I really need to read that Hemingway book that i once bought. I'm gonna die, without knowing the ending and the bookmark will remain at page 12 (out of 300). How sad is that? I also need to answer some of the questions that my professor asks. I know the answer but I'm scared that I'm gonna mess up my speech or something. But what if I give the wrong answer? Who the fuck cares. I'm gonna die anyway. And so will him. And my dog! Yeeees. That little doggo needs a long walk tomorrow. Its life is gonna end sooner than mine. I should give her a chance to see a new place, smell new things and fetch a new toy. Oh! Damn. I'm definitely buying something from that bakery near my house. Yes the one that i never visit cause my anxiety stops me from communicating with people unless it's absolutely necessary.

Tomorrow it's going to be a good day. Yes I'll be scared. But better scared than dead. What if it was my last day? I should make it count.

[promethean-soul]

I hope life lights a hell of a good cigarette after it fucks me over every single day.

[promethean-soul]

Whats your best tips on getting over someone?

Well first of all it's not an easy task. And it may be the hardest you've ever experienced. But i promise you you can make it. Unfortunately you can't just turn a switch off and forget about them. I've done it all. I was selfish, mean, sweet, i begged, i cried, everything. But the moment i realised that it was time for me to move on that was the moment that i realised that all this was for nothing. So my advice is to stop having hope for them and any kind of contact. Contact will bring hope and hope will bring more heartbreak. I once wrote the following paragraph when i was in this point of my life. I read it so many times that i end up believing it. I wish you the best. You got this.

"You move on when you open your eyes to the truth and say a huge “fuck off” to hope. They don’t care about you. Why? Cause they never loved you the way you did. Stop romanticizing their betrayal. “It’s me, it’s not you” or “you deserve better”. Fuck yes I deserve better. Damn, It’s indeed you and not me. Stop thinking about the good moments. Yes they brewed your coffee every morning. But they never did it as good as yours. So fuck their shitty coffee and do it yourself. Stop waiting. I’m sorry but they are not going to call and cry saying “I love you”. Blame them. Do it. They can do it and so can you. And in the end just say “wherever they are I wish them the best”. Give yourself some closure and then let others love you again."

[moodsattitudes]

[promethean-soul]

...

[promethean-soul]

How come no one have noticed that I'm not myself anymore? Either they don't give a fuck or I'm just that good at hiding.

[promethean-soul]

I see all those people and I wonder how they do it. How can you move on and stop this pain in your chest?

And then I found it.

You move on when you open your eyes to the truth and say a huge “fuck off” to hope. They don’t care about you. Why? Cause they never loved you the way you did. Stop romanticizing their betrayal. “It’s me, it’s not you” or “you deserve better”. Fuck yes I deserve better. Damn, It’s indeed you and not me. Stop thinking about the good moments. Yes they brewed your coffee every morning. But they never did it as good as yours. So fuck their shitty coffee and do it yourself. Stop waiting. I’m sorry but they are not going to call and cry saying “I love you”. Blame them. Do it. They can do it and so can you. And in the end just say “wherever they are I wish them the best”. Give yourself some closure and then let others love you again.

Move on.

You deserve it.