{Protego Your Eggo}

I'm an actual wreck in so many fandoms it's an issue. I can't commit. I'm sPIRALING BECAUSE I CAN'T COMMIT.

[protegoyoureggo]

How come when you pass things down it’s “a priceless heirloom” and “preserving history” but when I pass things down it’s “being cheap” and “you need to BUY your niece a present” GLENDA

[badjokesbyjeff]

Four engineers get into a car. The car won’t start.

The Mechanical engineer says “It’s a broken starter”.

The Electrical engineer says “Dead battery”.

The Chemical engineer says “Impurities in the gasoline”.

The IT engineer says “Hey guys, I have an idea. How about we all get out of the car and get back in”.

[hirokazukoreeda]

Grey Gardens (1975), dir. Ellen Hovde, Albert and David Maysles, Muffie Meyer.

[dailymarvel]

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 

[protegoyoureggo]

Yes

[funnymemes-and-kinkydreams]

Do not ever share anyone's nudes without their permission and do not send them to anyone unless they're wanted and you've discussed it with the receiver.

[nezumiko]

EPIC

Photo from Portland Pride 2019 © The Oregonian

[Photograph of a man dressed as Captain America, from behind with his shield on his back, waving a rainbow-striped American flag]

[chungledown-bimothy]

I was at Portland Pride, and y’all don’t even understand this man’s power. This photo is from the back, so you don’t see the perfection of the outfit, the chiseled jaw, the truth of his incredible shoulders-to-waist ratio, the reflective aviators.

It’s a still image, so you don’t see the confidence with which he walks. He KNOWS he’s the shit. We were walking in opposite directions on the sidewalk as he was getting into position for the parade, and I short circuited. This man is FINE, and he knows it.

You DEFINITELY don’t know that one of the drag queens who was calling the parade, when he walked by, stopped mid-sentence and said, and this is a direct quote,

“Sir, that absolutely is America’s ass. I probably shouldn’t say that, but it’s true.” Every single person in the crowd who was even a little bit attracted to men whooped and clapped at that truth.

This man is my hero.

[crewdlydrawn-deactivated2022072]

Turns out they use neutral pronouns—see: starcaptainyork on Instagram. Here are some of their pics from facebook (easiest to screencap), featuring the aviators, front-view, and confirming Cap-appropriate jaw line:

York Bezbozny is a Pride treasure.

[honey-sunny-bee]

CULTURAL ICON

[shipskicksandgiggles]

this dude is fucking awesome okay? the story of how they ended up doing a Cap cosplay with the rainbow American flag is one of my favorites, and he deserves so much credit for his activism. I’m not sure where else you can find the story, but their TikTok is starcaptainyork and they told the story there at some point

[ultimatespider]

Tom Holland about being a late bloomer

[thehomecominghero]

[trynottodrown]

[meglyman]

Mimic Octopus has had enough of Dancing Crab’s shenanigans

[bugcthulhu]

darn dancing crabs and their jazz crab hands

[blue-bower]

‘HELLO MY BABY HELLO MY H-“ “NO”

[batchygyo]

i cant control my hand suddenly

[soft-fae]

Oh yeah baby it’s so sexy when you live sustainably Keep doing that, it’s so hot when you minimize the plastic waste you produce and (umph!) reduce your carbon footprint! <3

[funnymemes-and-kinkydreams]

[badjokesbyjeff]

One day, Albert Einstein was on his way to a science convention for a speech.

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

“I’m sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!”

The driver agrees: “You’re right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don’t know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place.”

“That’s a great idea!” says Einstein. “Let’s switch places then!”

So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.

But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won’t be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.

The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :

“Sir, your question is so easy that I’m going to let my driver explain it to you.”

[badjokesbyjeff]

What’s the difference between sex and mental illness?

Most of Tumblr has experienced mental illness

[spideylilparker]

And that my friends is today's Tea ☕

[alandwithmagic71]

I think I have a problem

[arabwife]

[macklemuffin]

WOW I REALLY FUCKING HATE THIS POST I REALLY DO

holy shit wow wow wow WOW

it’s okay everyone we shouldn’t ever admit that men are okay because the ones that are okay know they are so we can just make a general statement about the entire population. it’s not like the people who are told they’re horrible and shitty might start to feel invalid, even if they ARENT in the so-called trash section of men??? excellent!!! we are so woke!!! let us reduce an entire population to one statement and just pray that the good people will think the statement doesn’t apply to them. in reality it’s probably the trash men who think the statement doesn’t apply.

this is the same thing as saying “women who aren’t stupid understand the statement women are stupid doesn’t apply to them”

i’m just fucking done. i really am. y’all wonder why there isn’t fucking equality and you make the contrast between men and women so stark and drastic. and you know what??? that leads me to questioning my fucking identity because APPARENTLY in order for me to be a woman i have to jump on this man hating train - which, by the way, is INCREDIBLY toxic - and because i don’t, i am apparently NOT A WOMAN. like do y’all not SEE the issue here??? we are LITERALLY DIGGING OURSELVES INTO A DEEPER HOLE HERE. equality and equity will never happen if we’re so set on establishing differences between men and women, that men are trash and women magically aren’t. we’re literally playing the same goddamn game they played with us, that women are lesser than men. we are on their same level, we are fighting fire with fire. we have no fucking validity

i’m fucking flummoxed at the stupidity of this goddamn website

[haiku-robot]

i’m fucking flummoxed at the stupidity of this goddamn website

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Don’t question the days of Humans®. | PayPal | Patreon

[protegoyoureggo]

It's easier to imagine friends then actually have them. All they is let you down.