I hope he knew the impact he had on the lives of countless people around the world. I hope he knew how much he was loved and how many people admired his talent. How many people - little boys, little girls, men, women - looked up to him.
I can’t fight the tears that come stubbornly, I can’t actually believe that that is true but I know I’m finding comfort in knowing that Chadwick Boseman will literally live forever through the legacy he leaves behind, and that he’s already a legend and a symbol of hope and a symbol of power for forever.
i just hope all of my black followers, mutuals, etc know that your voice matters and that your voice needs to be heard. you matter and should always matter. im so sorry people are gross. and im so sorry this is still happening in 2020.
I can't believe it. Honestlty. Its all pretty much overhelming for me. In these 2 years I had this account, I got over my selfharm, over depression and other really dark and ugly times...anyways
I don't want to get to emotional but I just want you to know how grateful I am for each and everyone for you. Thank you.
Summary: We fall in-Love with 3 People in our lifetime… Each one for a specific reason.
Warnings: fluff, character-death, loss, emotions, anger, first love
A/N: It’s this accounts second birthday and here something to celebrate it YAAAY. Thats also gonna be a mini series ;) Tags are open!
First love: This love happens at a young age. You eventually grow apart or call it quits over silly things. When you get older you may look back and think it wasn't love. But the truth is, it was. It was love for what you knew love to be.
His name, Bucky Barnes. Childhood friends and neighbors thanks to your families since moving to Brooklyn at the age of three. You grew up and spend most of your time together, it was just natural for you to be something more at one point as your parents like to say. Both of you didn't saw that, of course until it was almost too late. But let's get back to the beginning...
As you sat there in the background of the main dancefloor, looking down at all the students dancing together, some of them mixing liquor secretly into their drinks, shy freshmen standing awkwardly around, the popular girls who are probably gossiping about everything that gets into their sight and then there's you who sits further away with no date while waiting for your friend who even tho has a date doesn’t show up or respond to your texts.
Bucky was even the one who convinced you to come and have fun with him and his date, basically as the third wheel.
Neither him or you were really like fitting in any of the typical groups and as Sadie, the leader of the cheerleader team suddenly asked him to be her date, Bucky of course said yes, even after you told him she was just trying to make fun of him.
Not wanting to wait longer, you just got up as you saw perfect little Sadie enter the hall. All alone, so you walked her way.
"Where's Bucky?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest. She immediately looked you up and down.
"Oh Bucky..yeah. I got asked out last second by Jason so I went with him." Sadie told you. "And you told Bucky right? Where is he?"
"I guess he just figured that out himself. I don't know where he is and I don't care either" she said as it wasn't obvious enough before moving out of your sight and bumping not so innocently into you making you stumble to the side.
Thinking that he must be at home, you walked out of the hall and went straight towards home in your way to uncomfortable heels. At least it didn't take you that long otherwise you would have taken the train.
Much to your surprise Bucky sat outside waiting as if Sadie would still come around. It hurts to see him like this.
“Shouldn’t you be at school?” he asked before giving you even a chance to say something. “I could ask yourself ask you that too” you chuckled, trying to lighten up his mood a bit.
"I mean it (Y/N). Get back to school, at least one of us should enjoy it" he got off the stairs and back in the building.
"I am not going back there if you are not there either. It's stupid anyway so why don't we do something instead?" With these words he stopped and turned hesitant to you, but also with excitement in his eyes.
"Wait right there for a second" he said and rushed inside. Rolling your eyes you rubbed your arms up and down, it began to get kind chilly but before you had to stand there any longer, Bucky came back out again swirling a pair of keys around his fingers and a slight smirk on his lips. You knew these keys which worried you which Bucky should be too.
"Bucky your dad.."you sighed concerned. His father wasn't the nicest Person, especially not Bucky. It's scary to meet him sometimes and he always tried to cut things short with him before his father would find a new reason to throw a fit.
"It's going to be fine. Let's make this a good night's. Just the two of us" Bucky convinced you, but you were still wary. For a good reason.
"But you dad. We both know what-" you stopped as this silly shushed you and held his hand over your mouth.
"No 'buts'. Just get in the car (Y/N). If I destroyed your homecoming than at least let me make it up for it" he pushed you back around and opened your car door waiting for you to get in. Which you did and soon after you found yourself outside the City. The big skyscrapers disappearing in your mirror and the sky getting cleared up so you actually got to see stars which was so rare if you didn't get to do these kinda road trips as often as you wished it to be. One of a few more reasons to get out of there if you have the chance.
"Why so far off Bucky. Did you secretly plan this?" You chuckled as turning your head back to him.
"Maybe I did think that I didn't had to be one this homecoming dance all night long and take someone special out here who I knew would like it out of special reasons" he winked your direction, eyes switching from you and the street a couple of times. If you only knew Bucky thought to himself. While all you could think about Sadie not even deserving a single bit off of him.
"I know you hate to hear this, but she is not worth it like at all. If I had the self confidence I wish I had then I would have beat this bitch up" you said, throwing both of you in a fit of laughter, that you made forgot the world with him. Driving off the main street you found yourself on a rather uneven road with nothing but fields surrounding it until Bucky hit the breaks, stopping the car which was a rather older truck that seemed to barely hold on to life. "Now? Is it your plan to kill me out here because of what I did to you years ago.." you joked with him in a deeper voice as if it was a old movie.
"Dork" he replied with a grin before jumping out and onto the back of the truck. Following right after him you stayed rather on the ground watching what he wanted to do next.
"Care to join?" He asked after scattering some blankets onto the ground, holding his hand out to you and pulling you up to him.
"And then he took that knife from behind his back-" joking again, he cut you off with a shoulder bump. Sitting down crossed legged you watched Bucky laying down and watching the sky turn colors from the orange, red sunset in the dark night, stars popping up here and there to light up the sky a bit.
"I'm really sorry about today Buck" you laid off your silly attitude and tried to be serious at least for now.
"Not your fault (Y/N). I didn't wanted to come in the first place remember. Don't remember why I changed my mind in the first place" he sighed out, one hand under his head and one at his side holding your.
"Cause I wanted you to be there. See it's kinda my fault. I just wanted both of us to remember this kinda stuff" He probably didn't think about stuff like you did, but along some of your circumstances, you tried to make your school time somewhat nice for the both of you. "What kinda stuff do you mean?" Bucky said a bit quieter this time, turning his head to you. "You know..the usual stuff. What other normal people do. We just don't have that, no friends, we don't do clubs after school, no getting drunk or getting invited to anything"
Maybe you ranted a bit too much but school is hard and life outside school is harder. Bucky sat up now, releasing this is not you joking around with him and that you spoke this with honesty.
"What is so wrong with this. Not perfect, but who cares and we don't need that either" he told you making you look back up while holding your hands in his. Now you never really thought much about the little things, but it showed you more and more that there might be more to that friendship with him. Inching closer you wanted to take the next step, giving yourself a kick to kiss your best friend "because we have each other?" Mocking him a little too much, Bucky went to stand up again.
Great job you thought to yourself.
"We should go now. Don't wanna be late. My dad has work soon" he sighed out going back inside and starting to drive back home.
Bucky didn't like to show it much, but he got nervous around his dad, knowing how he can be and what he can be. His knuckles turned white from gripping the steering wheel too tight, overstepping the speed limit just a tiny bit, all these details showed his fear. As he parked the car you both practically jumped out the car. Pacing back inside.
"Bucky if..I mean if something happens, you come over alright?" you stuttered out before he could go back inside, not wanting him to be late, but you need to remind him that you're there for him even if he knew that.
"I know. Thank you for tonight (Y/N)" bucky kissed your cheek.
"I should thank you Buck" you could only reply before you both went inside your homes. Still worry lacing thoughts, you tiptoed into your room and got into bed as soon as possible for a good night sleep and well deserved rest after saying a quick apology to your parents.
And in the middle of the night you woke up by the slight background voices, yelling and other loud noises that didn't sound too far off. Standing back up from your bed, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes to look what is going on in the hallway, even if you had a bad feeling about what it could be as the voices got clearer.
"Don't you dare come back inside!! If I am losing my job because of you than you might as well be the one who takes care of that family!!" you understood now and heard the familiar voice yelling.
A quick look outside you wanted to check things, but with shock you saw Bucky is sitting outside his door.
"Bucky?" You asked softly, but as he turned to your voice coming the hallway you noticed his bruised eye, cut on the cheek and lip. Blood running down the side of his face. With that you got outside and walked up to him.
"Oh my god Bucky.." you whispered and hunched down to him.
"It-It's fine" he whimpered a bit, shaken up and hurt. That was by far not the first time. His mother was a sweetheart, but to scared to do something. Having enough of sitting there you helped him up and took him to your place. Your parents knew about that, but never really said anything. Sitting him down on your bed you returned from the bathroom with your first aid kit and a some frozen peas to cool it. As you stitched him and cleaned the blood off of him you were the first one to say something again.
"I shouldn't even let you go back inside there" you told him silently.
"You don't have to think that everything is your fault" he stopped your hand from holding the peas onto his face that started to slightly burn.
"We should go to bed now. Let's talk tomorrow alright" you asked him, but he only hunched over and laid back under the covers, you beside him with your eyes already dropping not being fully there anymore until Bucky just got closer and kissed you. Wincing a bit as his face stings. Somehow with everything going around you, careless and abusive parents, no friends, school barely surviving. This was the only thing that felt really right.
Bucky was and always is your best friend. The one you could trust no matter what. Since that night somehow it didn’t really change much besides the actual couple stuff and spending even more time together if that was even possible at that point. It’s both of your last year in school and you talked about what happened afterwards since you got accepted at a college in atlanta and Bucky wanted to stay home and help his family out since his Mom got sick and can’t work anymore. You’ve been understanding but what he didn’t know is that you are scared for what might come. New York isn’t just around the corner if you would wanted to keep this upright. Of course it's not just the relationship, it’s your whole friendship. There wasn’t anyone else like Bucky for you.
“I have a present for you” Bucky came in your room with an envelope in his hands. He looked way to excited as he gave it into your hands waiting for you to open it.
“Did I forget some special day if yes, then since when do we do that?” you asked suspiciously. Opening it you saw a flight ticket towards New York. It made you rather emotional than happy.
“We haven’t talked about it yet but we gotta at some point and I am fully in this relationship if you are too”
“That was so cheesy, you hated that didn’t you?” you laughed with a quiet sob, not holding your emotions in really well.
“Yes I did but I showed you where I am standing. I also got myself a ticket to Atlanta so we can switch things up” he said showing the other ticket in his pocket. “It’s going to work (Y/N)”
You hugged each other with a following kiss and that gave you some kind of hope.
This sadly not everlasting last year came to an ending. All your stuff was already packed up in boxes and on it’s way to your dorm thanks to your parents who told you they would drive down there themselves while you are waiting for your flight with Bucky by your side. Time to say goodbyes.
“I think that is the longest we won’t be able to see each other” you have been crying multiple times before so you tried to stop that but tears kept coming the whole last week.
“We said no more crying alright? Just a few months. We can do this” Bucky said but his eyes were also red and his cheeks stained. Nothing helped this right now and neither did as your flight was called up.
“Time to go. See you soon alright. Call me when you landed.” he kissed you another time trying to make it last forever until you had to cut it off to catch a breath.
“I love you Bucky” you said with another peck on his lips.
“I love you too (Y/N)..so much” he hugged you tight before you went to walk away, looking another time back to him with a big smile on your faces to comfort each other as you walked to the doors.
College was harder than you thought and getting really into this life might be almost harder, you had a roommate but she was not really open minded to making new friendships. One time she punched a hole in the wall cause something was wrong with the pizza she ordered. Classed kept you from anything really. Sleeping, eating, calling your boyfriend or getting some time for yourself. Bucky on the other side found himself a job and couldn’t call you as much as you both liked too. If you had the time it wasn’t long and you didn’t know what to say sometimes. It was mostly complaining about your life and problems. It brought back the fear you had as you left which turned into anger that added to your thousand other problems. One day as you were in class, Bucky called which was surprising since he worked normally at this time and he knew you classes at this time of the day. It must have been urgent you thought and went outside with your stuff as quick as possible and took the call.
“Bucky? Shouldn’t you be working?” you asked waiting in front of the door hoping to get back inside, not wanting to fall behind in every single class.
“Uhm it’s George, listen I don’t know why he didn’t call earlier but tomorrow is Winnies funeral. She passed a few days ago..” Bucky’s dad told you over the line, out of shock you almost forgot to reply. How could he not tell you that? But that didn’t matter right now.
“I’m so sorry to hear that sir. I’ll be there of course. Thank you for letting me know”
“No problem. I’ll send you the info. See you then” were his last words before hanging up. It took you a moment to realise all of this. His Mother always treated you as you were a part of this family. So nice and respectful didn’t even your parents treat you. Your last two classes have been hell and you could barely concentrate on any of the subjects. As soon as you got back to the dorm you packed a bag and went to the airport trying to get the next flight with one of Bucky’s tickets. Luckily one was right on time so you would land in New york in time and you did but the traffic there was as always horrible. Cursing at the cab driver a couple of times actually helped as he practically threw you out at the church where the funeral is getting held. Scurrying down the path you saw them already walking away, cursing under your breath you could punch a tree right now. Bucky still didn’t turn around and his father only gave you a slight nod as he walked also past you. Taking that as a hint you walked carefully up to him.
“Bucky..” you said not even getting out as secure as you thought your voice would be. Turning with widened eyes towards the sound of your voice you could see the hurt written all over his face and body language. There weren’t words that came to either your minds as he took a big step towards you, who took him in a big hug as he sobbed quietly in your shoulder. Standing there for a while you just enjoyed each other presence giving him as much time as he needed and wanted.
Later on you sat down with him a little bit away on a bench.
“Why didn’t you tell me Bucky. I mean I know it got worse with her the last month and that might be not the right time to talk about that but.. I just thought we can talk about that?” you asked him.
“I just couldn’t think about anything and you just haven’t been there” he said and let go of your hands.
“What? I mean I understand but just because I am not here doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me or I am out of this world” you tried not to get it to your head and take that with respect towards him.
“Yes it does (Y/N). I don’t know if you noticed but since you have been in Atlanta, everything went straight downhill and you can’t tell me that everything stayed how it is. It’s just not the same” Bucky raised his voice a bit and each of that words cut into your skin making you almost think it’s your fault what happened. Thinking that it’s just been a harsh few months for him you tried to comfort him some more by just simply holding his hand but something in him snapped with your next words.
“I understand Bucky-” you could only brought out.
“No you don’t understand, you don’t! Why did we think that works out so well?” he stood up, pacing up and down in front of you.
“You were the one who gave us this hope by buying the tickets?” you snapped back at him.
“I mean the whole relationship. Why destroying the friendship when we knew about college and all of that” Bucky started to yell at some point.
“Don’t say that because you don’t mean that!” you replied trying to calm him.
“But it’s the truth. Tell me why we did that? Couldn’t have stayed the same because that would make it much easier. It was all so silly..” he swallowed hard, realising how wrong the words might sounded and with this you understood, even you told yourself the whole time that this was only the circumstances right now. But that simply went too far.
“Then I am going to make that much easier for you since I am that much of a pain in the ass. Hope you never have to see me again” you threw the flowers you bought at him and left. Never looking back again you told yourself.
Everyone keeps thinking the first love is the one forever until it breaks your heart for the first time. Later you will eventually learn the true meaning behind this...
Summary: You and your boyfriend have powers, now he is dead and you are expecting a baby. Hydra is interested in the child so they send the Winter Soldier. What happens if Bucky unexpectedly falls for you…
This Part: One thing leads to another...
Warnings: fighting, making up, fluff, angst, archer being cute idk
A/N: pls don’t hate me for taking like years to post a simple next part.. but next week is the birthday of this account yay. I’ll post something then too which is already done so don’t worry :)
“No!“ Bucky yelled, taking both Steve and you a bit by surprise. “-We are going to talk about this. You can’t just decide that all by yourself to go out there and risk your life for what? Exactly nothing. We’re literally standing here with your son“ Bucky argued, but you you heard it out right away as it fell from his lips: ‘your son’. It’s still something he said even after all this time.
Bucky is Archer’s dad.
Luke is dead and Bucky appeared and took over that role.
That’s just how it is and your little boy will grow up knowing what happened and understanding it.
“For the last time Bucky if he such a burden to you..-“ you interrupted him but he cut you also off.
The fight was on.
It hurts to fight like this, but he started it. Steve who stood helpless beside you, distracting Archer in the stroller decided to step in as the frequency of your fight increased and raised the attention of others.
“Guys...“ Steve spoke up, but to the both of you everyone else was just air right now.
“Never said that he was a burden to me. I wouldn’t even think about it, but that’s not the point right now. The point is that you put yourself out there in danger, leave me and your son behind worrying that mama might never come back“ he looked disgusted at you by the words that fell out of your mouth.
“You said it again, but yeah you’re right..“ you spoke out and he shook quite surprised his head at you.
“-for me believing that you would trust me this one time“ you added with a scoff.
“Oh here we go!“ Bucky exclaimed, throwing his hands up.
“Alright. I’m ending this right now! Fight somewhere else but not here and not in front of Archer or anyone else. If you have decided to let me know and then we can talk to Nat and Sam.“ Steve walked between the both of you and raised his voice enough to be heard.
Neither of you dared to say something else, Steve was right that was something to take home, not that you wanted to talk about this any longer since you can make your own decisions but if Bucky wanted to than fine.
“-I’ll get them both here tomorrow. Solve it till then. Til then I would love to give you both the time and take care of Archer if you don’t mind“ he asked for a good reason. Bucky and you nodded, avoiding each others gaze before saying goodbye to both of them.
The ride home also was silent, a thick tension between the both of you until Bucky just sat down on the couch and didn’t say a word. Probably could neither of you start this fight again, but he just sat down and gave you an attitude.
“Don’t you want to say something?“ you rolled your eyes at him and crossed your arms waiting for him to yell again.
“Do you want to say something to me? Cause since only yesterday you’re a completely different person. What could have possibly happened there that you are like this?“ he turned his head to you and asked with a shrug.
“Nothing happened. I told you I just don’t want to talk about it and you still make me. I want to go on Missions with Steve because I don’t want to sit at home all day so why don’t you understand?“ you avoided his gaze and yes you lied but you did that to yourself too. Lying about the fact that it didn’t still hurt.
“Nothing happened?! Why I don’t understand? Have you ever been to a mission. Do you know in what kind of danger you put yourself into? Are you willing to go and if something happens to leave Archer and me and all of your friends behind just like that? Don’t you care at all? And you still ask me why I don’t understand. (Y/N) we’ve barely talked for a few days and most importantly, you don’t really think I don’t know you enough that I wouldn’t notice that something is up?“ he stood up again and came closer to you, raising his voice once again until he basically only shouted at you. With every statement he said you broke down more and more until tears threatened to spill out. But you fought back, not wanting to seem like an whining mess.
“Can you please trust me?“ you tried to hide it, but your voice cracked anyways as soon as they left your mouth. It sounded almost like a whimper.
“I trust you, but I don’t trust the world and at this point we can’t use anymore risks in our life. Haven’t we been through too much already? Or should I remind you again..I just want my (Y/N) back. Can’t you understand that?!!“ he did, but with the last words he noticed how you were shaking slightly and crying, angrily wiping them from your cheeks. He shook his head and calmed down a bit with a heavy sigh before going out the door, slamming it after he shut breaking the glass but he didn’t even bother to look back.
Bucky and you need a breather and press the pause button before something would happen that you both didn’t want. Only a short rethinking phase for both of your will. You sat down on the couch thinking he would need more time or disappeared for good. But to your surprise the door opened shortly after again and Bucky came back in, the glass scrunching under his shoes as he started slowly coming closer and sitting down beside you on the couch.
“I don’t wanna fight anymore (Y/N)..“ he said looking at you.
“Me neither“ you replied with a huff. “Just promise me that you will leave the serious stuff to the rest and if it’s to dangerous you will turn around and leave, no sacrificing, no stupid moves, nothing that isn’t planned and you’re not doing anything alone. You gotta have someone to watch your back alright?“ Bucky lectured, but you were fine with that, at least he didn’t break up with you like the scenario you made up in your head.
“Like you?“ you gave him a small smirk.
“No...I thought about that, but I- I can’t“ he chuckled. “-Sorry for yelling at you.... I’m just scared“ Bucky confirmed, his head lowering.
“You don’t have to be. I promise“ you whispered and leaned forward to hug him, your face hidden in the crook of the neck, inahling his scent, telling yourself that everything would be ok from now on. A hand runs up and down your back and you could have fallen asleep right then and there.
“Give me yourr hand“ he brought out with a huff. You barely even understood what he was saying before breaking out of your grasp with a weird written over his face.
“Why?“ you shot him a confused look and crossed your arms over your chest, backing up a bit. Bucky smiled a little and got down on the ground, on one knee while holding his hand out to you. Gesturing with your hand, but you were shocked at what is happening.
Not understanding and somehow not believing. “What are you doing?“ you asked again.
“I’m trying to propose to you so give me you damn hand..” he said with a flowing soft ‘please’ at the end in which you eventually gave in, your hand shaking of course like a aspen leaf. Even more as he pulled out a beautiful ring, letting you realize that he meant it, like for real.
“I didn’t really planned something yet, but it doesn’t matter because I feel like never is really gonna be the right time anyway- (Y/N) (Y/L/N), will you do me the honor and marry me?“ With a blank mind and with watery eyes you stared down at him, in his big hopeful eyes. Well there was only this one answer for you, but you just didn’t understand why you and if he was sure with that.
“I hope you don’t think that’s gonna make me cancel that whole thing“ you answered and got down to his level.
“No, I know you’re pretty stubborn. I had sat in with me for a while and I guess I just want you to know that I meant it“ he said not breaking eye contact with your big hopeful eyes as you stretched your hand out to him.
“I mean it too“ With your final words he slipped the ring onto your finger and kissing you as a sealing act. Smiling into the kiss you tried to even under those circumstances to remember each and every little detail about that moment hoping to never forget it.
“And just so you know, I know that you mean it otherwise I don’t think you would take up on so much even after everything you’ve been through“ you told him taking his face in your hands and running your thumbs along his jaw.
You started to overturn every little thing, but now isn’t the time to back off you told yourself. You had to do this for yourself.
Shortly after bedtime Bucky also decided to come to bed after doing his little night routine. Check the locks, do the dishes because he mostly insists on it, clean up a bit, check the doors again and maybe after some time he would come upstairs to tuck Arthur in and join you in bed. On the middle of the stairs, he stoppes as he heard you both talking.
“Can I come?“ Archer whispered to you, his voice already sleepy and his eyes would drop close any second.
“Well who is going to take care of daddy then?“ you said back with a smile. “He comes to maybe“ Archer told you before snuggling a bit closer into his pillows and bunch of stuffed animals. Basically, passing out as he finished what he was saying.
“I’ll be right back before you know it. I promise“ you kissed his cheek and got back up, slowly back out of the room, leaving the door open three inches, not noticing Bucky on the stairs as you went in the bathroom to get ready for bed yourself.
He was already in bed as you joined his side.
“I can’t make my mind around it that you asked me to marry you. Like I didn’t dream that right?“ you admired the ring on your finger also thinking about the one around your neck, you felt like you started to collect a bunch of them.
“No you didn’t that is real. Maybe I should have come along to Canada I could have asked for permission before.“ he laughed, but you knew that he was just trying to get back to that subject and coax it out of you.
“Good night Buck. I love you“ you pecked his lips and snuggled yourself closer to him, who sighed and let it be like that not wanting to have another fight this day.
Steve, Nat, Sam and you sat all in a meeting room trying to discuss the mission.
“Is this going to be a family vacation or what is tin-man over there doing?“ Sam spoke up as the first one. You turned for a quick look, towards him but Bucky spoke for himself.
“No I am just checking and we don’t have anyone to babysit but let me just say-“ he looked down to Archer on his lap who is occupied with his food and held his ears close.”-you’re lucky that a toddler is in the room. Where is your babysitter huh?“ he mocked Sam.
“Alright, let’s discuss the mission.“ Nat brought up and laid out the photos.
“Quick in and out just to check since we already cleared that base a few months prior. Sam in the air, the rest inside. Steve watches the doors while we go look around. It probably won’t even take a day. Simple and easy for beginners.” she shrugged, looking around the table to check with everyone.
“Looks good.“ Steve spoke up, everyone agreed. But you looked back to Buck just to check with him too.
“Back up plan? What if they know you are coming?“ He brought up, asking once again around the room.
“If it looks bad we cancel and reschedule.“ Steve answered that one and Bucky nodded with a shrug of his shoulders.
Summary: You and your boyfriend have powers, now he is dead and you are expecting a baby. Hydra is interested in the child so they send the Winter Soldier. What happens if Bucky unexpectedly falls for you…
This Part: Reader is on her way finding her parents, maybe the wrong decision...
A/N: remember me? remember the story? haha..uhhh......
With widened eyes you looked to Steve, not shocked but somehow scared of the truth. You knew he was looking for them, he even made the suggestion to you a few months back asking if you wanted to meet them or even know who they are so he did and now he really did found them. Over his shoulders you saw Bucky coming back and closer to the both of you. Steve already looking at you, as you just really slightly shook your head at him.
“Heeey. Everything alright?” Bucky walked up the stairs with a clasp on Steve’s shoulder and a kiss on your cheek, suspicious he looked at you, as you nodded with a forced smile, before moving past you inside.
“I am gonna tell him later. Now, back to the point, where are they?” you asked and sat down with a sigh.
“Canada. Just outside Vancouver. I wrote you down the address just let me know if you need anything” he smiled down towards you as he handed you the piece of paper.
“Thank you Steve.” you called out after him before he is out of reach again, off to another mission.
Sometimes you wished he would settle down and have his peace, not believing that he could do this literally all day like he loves to say. There just had to be something else for him, Steve just doesn’t talk about this really often or likes to do so. As you saw him drive away with his motorcycle you stood back up again, putting the address carefully folded into your back pocket, going back inside. Bucky was in the bathroom washing the dirt off of his arms as you simply walked in and sat on the bathtub watching him without a word.
“What is it? You look like you have to tell me something?” he smirked at you through the mirror.
“Maybe I just like watching you?” you teased him but Bucky knew better and you did too.
“I know that already. There is just something else behind the grins and all the teasing”. After finishing he sat down besides you on the edge of thetub waiting patiently for you.
“Steve found my parents.” you just brought out.
“I didn’t even know he is looking for them. You didn’t tell me” he looked sadly at you with a hint of pity which you already didn’t like. All you wanted right now was to not make a big thing out of it, trying to stay natural for your own good.
“I honestly forgot cause Steve suggested that himself a while ago and I just didn’t take it seriously and now I know” you told him.
“That is good right? I mean you want to meet them..right? Where are they now?” Bucky put his arm around you for comfort.
“I don’t know.. I just- All I know is that they live in Canada right now” you groaned and moved the conversation from the bathroom to the living room. Letting you fall onto the couch, tired and frustrated, full of thoughts and most importantly not knowing what to do.
“Oh so you are Canadian. That might change a few things. I am serious (Y/N) that didn’t stood in the contract” he joked making you look up to him with a serious expression before breaking into a fit of laughter with him.
“Shut up. Doesn’t mean anything” you laughed out, knowing he just tried to light the situation up.
“Just joking. Do you want to meet them now?” Bucky said, back to being serious.
“I guess...don’t take this in a weird way but I want to do it alone. Not because I don’t like bringing you with me or Archer but I think it’s just a lot for now. Let’s just see how it goes” you explained hoping he would understand.
“Yes of course. I get it, do your thing.” he assured you which you only replied with a sering kiss.
The weekend lasted what felt like only a few seconds before you packed your little suitcase and said goodbye to Bucky and Archer. It wasn’t going to take long, maybe a few days otherwise you would have took them with you. Not liking to be away even only for this short of time.
“Mommy is going to be back soon alright! Be nice to daddy and uncle Steve for me alright? I love you” you kissed Archer’s tears stained cheek and gave him, over to Steve for a second. Turning to Bucky who already smiled comforting to you.
“If anything happens call me. Anything!” he held your face in his hands before giving you a short kiss.
“Anything.” you repeated him and linked your fingers for the promise. One last kiss for the both of them and hug for Steve later you waved them goodbye as you got into the check in for your flight. Hours and hours from flight to another, from city to city and endless movies you watched during the flights passed as you finally landed in Vancouver where you rented a car and a motel for the time you would be there.
After a quick call with Bucky who you woke up because you forgot the timezones.You drove towards the address Steve gave you, who could have flew you out there with a jet but as said you wanted to do this alone. It might scared the hell out of you, somehow making you feel a mix of being excited and scared or maybe you had to many coffees on your way here. Passing through the beautiful nature and landscapes of Canada you drove into a little ally through a forest as you came to what looked like a bigger farm house. Parking a bit away from the house you took that all in for a few minutes before stepping over your anxiety and walking up the little path that was surrounded with flowers. It reminded you a lot on the drawings you always did as a kid.
A big house with a family, siblings, mom and dad, maybe even a cat or a dog. Flowers decorating the garden in all sorts of colors but all you got was foster family after family. No one wants the broken one. The different one until you were old enough and just started living in your stolen car. You rang the bell and waited anxiously for something to happen. Until you heard a few voices from kids coming from inside.
A young teenager opened the door.
“Can I help you?” he asked nicely. Somehow he looked familiar, could that be your brother you asked yourself but decided to tone it down a bit.
“Is that the house of Flynn or Edith Albert?” you stuttered out, reading from your scrunched up paper that Steve gave you.
“Yeah why?” he asked confused. Understandable the way that you must looked after a lot of flights and almost no sleep.
“Could I talk to one of them maybe?” you asked hopefully and he just shrugged and opened the door a bit wider for you to step in and follow him through the hallway and the backdoor. Through the big glassdoors you saw him sitting on a rock nearby a small pond and you saw what he did. The young boy stayed inside as you made your way towards him slowly.
“Uhm-Sorry to disturb you but are you Flynn Albert?” you asked, seeing him turned around to you. One look behind you he threw the boy an angry look, who scurried away as he was noticed.
“And who are you?” he stood up, clearly bigger than you and not happy about the situation.
“(Y/N). I came here because I might think that you are my father” you straight up brought out, swallowing the fear and anxiety. The shock and fear on his face told you everything you needed.
“Look I don’t know what you are here for but you can’t be here. Go now.” Flynn just said and turned around waving angrily with his hand over his back but you followed anyway. That trip is not for just sightseeing you need answers.
“After all this time, everything that happened. I just want to talk and I won’t go otherwise.” you stood your ground, crossing your arms over chest. Waiting for a response while biting back the tears that started to build up. “-after that I am gone and you can forget me, never hear from me again. I promise.”
His shoulders slumped before he sat down onto the chairs nearby. You did too, seeing him watch your face.
“You should start talking now” he said coldly, all of that just stung in your soul but you didn’t know this man so why start caring about him.
“Are these your kids?” you asked and nodded back towards the glassdoors. This time a younger girl stood next to the boy.
“Yes. Thomas and Daisy” he didn’t even have to look to know what they were doing.
“Where is Edith? I guess your wife then? Mother of them maybe? Which leads to my next question. Why throwing your first one basically in the trash then if you have kids any way?!” now you only got angry or more likely disappointed in them. To find practically your dream family you always wished you had while being alone in a different room than the other kids, being called a danger for others.
“-You were a mistake. Still are..-” as you heard this it just came over you.
A mistake.
You got called a lot but never a mistake and you certainly wouldn’t have expected it while meeting your father.
“A mistake? So that is what I am to you and nothing more? Good to know I didn’t get your disgusting character. Just tell me what happened because there are other options than giving birth to a human being and then abdondening it without making sure that this child has someone who loves it, a place to stay. How horrible do you have to be to-” it turned to game of cutting off each other sentences, back and forth and back and forth. Your air was leaving your lungs quickly, tears began to stung in your eyes and could turn red of anger that was fulfilling you.
“Enough! I had my reasons and you’re the reason she is not here anymore. You don’t deserve this. Go now before I lose my mind” he cursed at you standing up but you did too. This could escalate really quickly but you decided to stay silent.
For the better.
“-you even look like her too. Listen I am sorry that I gave you away but this wasn’t allowed and it wasn’t right either. You were a accident back then but she wanted to keep you and then died of the consequences, leaving me alone with you” the disgust he had towards you. All the emotions even after all these years, even that he doesn’t know you longer than maybe half an hour.
“Thank you for the confirmation. That I really thought I would have a better live with Parents but now I am actually better off without you. Really..thank you” you said your voice cracking within the last words. Flynn didn’t said another word as you went for the backdoor.
Not looking back as you drove away. Ready to pack your bags again, not even wanting to stay the night you booked at your motel.
*Back in Wakanda the next day*
“You are not going afterwards her Bucky. She is fine. Maybe she just spends some time with her family” Steve tried to hold best friend back from packing his bag. Wanting to give you the time you needed. Respecting the wish you had.
“She is not calling or even texting for almost a whole day. What could she possibly talk about to not even look at her phone for this long. I mean I really get it but it’s just not like her” He has been worrying after the very first call you didn’t answer and it only got worse after you didn’t answer any of them. All these thoughts plagued his mind so that really was the only reasonable idea that came to his mind. Archer has been asking a lot after you too, barely slept through the last night and bucky didn’t either. Watching his phone for new notifications like a hawk but nothing happened. Steve basically sprinted to your house to stop Bucky because he tended to worry to much. It has been always like this with the ones he truly loved.
“Daddy look! Mommy is back” Archer made himself noticeable as he jumped up and down in front of the windows. Both Steve and Buckys heads snapped up and rushed to the door.
“Where have you been? You are back so early...What happened?!” Bucky hugged you tight before backing up again to check up on you. You greeted both of them before picking up you whining son that was clinging to your jeans.
“I’m fine bucky. I just didn't wanted to be away for so long. I’ll lay down now, the flights have been a nightmare” you handed him Archer and slumped your way back up the stairs, not even recognizing their calls after you.
All you need was your bed and feeling at home again. Just forgetting that all that happened.
“Whats wrong with mama?” Archer asked after they heard door falling shut.
“I don’t know. Let’s just let her sleep for a bit and you could draw her something ok?” he sighed and let him down who scurried happily away grabbing his crayons and some paper from the floor.
“What do you think?” he turned to Steve who just looked as lost as himself.
“I don’t know honestly. Give her some time, we don’t know what happened” he tried to assure him and made his way back again.
It was already late and you still “slept” like a rock, at least as Bucky thought that, as you heard the door screeche open and two voices whispering to each other.
“Just say good night buddy, Mommy had a long day alright?” Bucky whispered and hushed him inside. He patted carefully but fast over to your bed and climbed up kissing your cheek before whispering in your ear
“love you mommy. Good night” before rushing back to the door. As you heard the voices fading away you let your tears roll. You couldn’t sleep at all but you didn’t wanted to get up either way. Everything felt numb and your body really carved the sleep but you still just laid there. Footsteps came closer again so you wiped away the tears and pretended to sleep again. Bucky bent down over you and kissing your forehead.
“I missed you” he whispered before joining your side in bed. He fell asleep in just a few minutes instead of you who stayed awake the whole night, all you had was a few naps and that probably thru passing out from exhaustion. As you took the first flights back home you cried which left your eyes only burning afterwards. You felt literally like a wreck and nothing more, nothing was left.
After the hours you laid already listening to the soft snores Bucky made you felt like standing up again, so you put on some clothes and walked outside letting yourself fall into the grass by the sea. You didn’t really cared but it was a beautiful star filled night which calmed you down and let you shut out your thoughts for a while and you could rest your eyes for a bit. Just a little bit you thought. Until you heard someone call for you.
“(Y/N)? Did you sleep out here the whole night?” he looked down to you with a shocked expression.
“No, who knows how I got here and I look like this all the time” you grumbled sarcastically and crossed your arms over your head to block out the sun that blinded you from above. Bucky only sighed and slumped down next to you.
“Tell me what happened. You are not yourself”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Alright?” you peeked at him and he only stood up and left you alone again. Not that you liked to be like this but you just didn’t felt like talking or any interaction at all.
You heard his worried sigh and his sad look. It just took some time for you and hopefully he understood.
....
“I don’t get it. What happened to her Steve” Bucky asked Steve as they made a trip through the city with Archer in his stroller.
“She will be back to normal in no time, just wait. Can’t be that bad..” Steve said unknowing of you who rather slept in a field this night.“Suuure” Bucky pointed out.
Instead of Steve, he didn’t have the good feeling of everything being back in its place in a day or two.
“I brought that a while ago and I’m just carrying around” he suddenly surprised Steve with a ring he held up, the plan was to give this to you that a whole while ago but things just got messed up and never felt like the right time so he stuffed the ring just in his pocket and carried it around since then.
Sometimes the thought would come to his mind to just get it over with but he didn’t wanted to see it like this, it was something he wanted to remember.
“I’m happy for you buck. Give this to her when you think is the right time and believe me, there never is. Just don’t waste it” Steve smiled softly at him and with a claps on his shoulder they brought Steve back to the jet, time to say goodbye and for a another mission.
“Wait up-“ your voices called after them letting them turn around to you who came jogging up to them.
“Let me join you” you asked with big hopeful eyes, thinking that would take your mind off of things. Training, fighting, you already did that with natasha while Bucky was in cryo. Why not doing this again if it helped?
Bucky stepped in front of you to take your look away from Steve. A look of disappointment in his eyes.
“Are you serious? You just came back?!“
“I didn’t say I wanted to go right away but the next one“ you rolled your eyes at him. You could protect yourself, you both knew that but Bucky just didn’t wanted to risk anything once he had this life- he didn’t let it go.
“We should talk in private“ he suggested.
“No need for that, I made my decision. Steve?“ you looked past him and Steve looked like he didn’t wanted to choose a side.
Happy birthday loveeee. I wish you health, joy, happiness, love, respect and love for animals, I pray that God will bless you and light your path to the life you want/and are destinated to have. You're a sweetheart and I truly love seeing you around. Congratulations on your day and I hope you'll have a nice cake to devour hehehe. Feliz aniversáriooo. 💫🎉🎊🎈
It's been a month already and I sadly didn't had any cake but your super kind message reminds me of this fun day I had anyways. Thank you so much that's so sweet from you❤ I hope you have a beautiful day
Abort Mission is such a great story. Is really nice to see their relationship building along the time together. And I'm happy that Archer considers Bucky as his father, it probably warms his heart. Love that she stood in Wakanda while he was in cryo and had some parts of this story that I literally cried (like really, lots of people say it to give emphasis but I literally cried). Love when Bucky thanked T'Challa for taking care of HIS FAMILY. Its amazing. And now their own house... I love it. ♡♡
Now I am the one crying. Thank you so so much for taking the time to read the series and than write me the sweetest feedback I've ever gotten. It brings me so much joy, excitement to get this and makes me wanna write the next chapters even more now which I hope that you'll like just as much. Love you for this. It makes my day so much brighter. Thank you!!!!!💕
Summary: You and your boyfriend have powers, now he is dead and you are expecting a baby. Hydra is interested in the child so they send the Winter Soldier. What happens if Bucky unexpectedly falls for you…
This Part: Bucky and you are trying to talk this out while the future seems a bit more interesting afterwards...
Warnings: fluff, angst abit, making out?
A/N: In case someone is confused this is now along some other parts, after this one, all in the time between Civil war and infintiy war which is included in this series (scared to write this) and Endgame (even more scared) but later so calm down. I am not over endgame yet anyway
Slowly waking up and remembering what happened last night and you wanted to right away just curl further into your blankets and pillows to sleep a bit more but then you noticed you didn’t heard Archer talking to mostly himself or playing with your hair how he liked to sometimes do in the morning, sadly he wasn’t a long sleeper like you are. Rising your head from under the pillow you looked both sides realising that Archer is nowhere in sight making you skip a heartbeat. It was a big bed and you secured the floor around every night with the decorative pillows just in case he would actually fall off or try to do come down but he wasn’t in the room at all. Dressing quickly you walked outside your room and looked both side of the hallway before you heard his giggle and Bucky’s laugh coming from the kitchen.
“Good Morning” you smiled a bit at the sight of them attempting to make breakfast.
“Morning. We made breakfast if you’re hungry?” his cheerful smile and laugh disappeared a bit as he drew his attention back to Archer who sat on the counter.
“Can you show mommy what you showed me Archer?” you heard them whisper before you looked expecting to your little boy, who still smiled widely up to him and nodded, taking an empty mug in his hands.
“I’m mommy. I need coffee...Always tired” he imitated you and laugh loudly out. As you looked at him in surprise and went to tickle him.
“You are really funny aren’t you?” you chuckled and got distracted as your phone rang, leaving the room for a bit.
“Hey Steve. You’re having breakfast with us today?” you asked right away as you took the call, something he also used to do over the year.
“No not today. Not in Wakanda right now sorry. Just wanted to call to let you know.”he informed you
“Oh ok then. Take care Steve” you sighed out, thinking that it’s going to be awkward now without him. There wasn’t much that you wanted to talk about with Bucky, and you feared that it would end up in a fight anyways and that’s something you wanted to avoid in front of Archer.
“Everything alright with..Bucky?” he asked.
“No not really. It’s just weird and different now..I don’t really know.” you told him looking while so back to see that they set up the table already, Bucky also looking at you.
“Sorry (Y/N) but you will figure that out..right?” he asked. You opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out so Steve continued. “-I mean. You do still love him. Otherwise you would have left already. I don’t want to say that running away is your thing but you stayed in Wakanda, you visited him and you were there a few hours before he woke up at his side right? Don’t worry to much (Y/N). Try to talk it out”he called you out and assured you again that it’s going to be just fine before hanging up.
You didn’t had much to say anyways after that and went back to the table sitting down and mumbling a quick sorry. The breakfast went on, mostly in awkward silence between the two of you. Afterwards you went to clean the dishes but he refused and did them himself, Archer played a bit while you walked up to him. You had to talk again at some point.
“You don’t have to try to make it up by every chance you get now alright? I mean it’s nice but I am just saying that you don’t have to do it.” you crossed your arms by his side and tried your best to explain it in a normal tone.
“They are just the dishes” he smirked shortly towards you.“-and making the breakfast” you continued.
“Yeah ok. I am still gonna do it tomorrow again” he mumbled the rest and you stayed silent for a bit, you already started with thinking that you were to harsh with the arguments from yesterday night and those damned puppy eyes weren’t helping. What Steve has told you earlier still in your ear like a song lyric you won’t get out of your head for the rest of the day.
Later the same day you still hung out in the apartment but you dug around in a fex boxes as you looked for something that came to your mind. Joining Bucky on the couch you handed him the couple of journals that you had stored since Steve brought you most of the stuff from Bucharest back.
“My journal. Where did you get that from?” he quirked up his eyebrows and went to reach for it, but not opening yet.
“Yeah Steve found it along some other stuff in our old apartment and brought it back here...You don’t want it back?” you looked at him curious as he just looked at it for a while like he didn’t know what to do with it.
“Did you read it?” he asked and turned to you.
“No. Why should I? That is personal.”you quickly shook your head. Obviously you hadn’t, the thought was there some times but you never actually did it.
“Than take it. Read all of them if you want to” Bucky laid them back into your hands and went to read his book that he had at the moment.
“What do you mean? They are yours.” confused you looked between him and the few books that laid there. It felt like he just gave you his most private thing he belonged, the one thing that you thought you won’t ever take a look it or anyone at all.
“I want you to read them but especially this one” he pointed at the first one and you just nodded and went to lay them on your nightstand for later in case he would change his mind or something. Could be a joke or a test you almost thought.
Days flew by and after you had a small walk around the city and you found yourself ready for the night after dinner and a movie,finally giving it a try to read his journals.
“You can have by the way the guest bedroom, must be way comfortable than the couch” you told him as you walked slowly back into the living room from Archer, who wanted to be a big boy today and sleep in his own room.
“Why did I sleep on the couch in the first place?” he asked and went to grab the blankets and pillows from the couch to take them with him.
“I don’t know...maybe you deserved it at this point” you said whispering the last bit, which Bucky heard anyways. Both of you saying Good Night and then going different ways. For you it was normal to just go to your room but for him it felt weird not to share the bed with you.
Laying down in your bed with the lamp still on, cuddled in your blanket you reached for the first book that Bucky was talking about and opened it starting to read the first pages, full of mostly just the stuff you were talking about sometimes. From this what seemed to be still more like just notes and drawings got more into longer texts and photos sticking between a few pages.
“Once I read in a article: Where do you think you are in ten years and I look over to you, walking up and down cause the baby has been kicking all day and night and think that you are it. We are for sure both not perfect but that’s what I love about you. Your silly laugh sometimes, your bright eyes, your kindness, all the things made me become more and more myself again.Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose the you didn’t settle for. These years are not long if you don’t think about it, you’ll blink and then another year has gone by. In case anything happens future-Bucky and you somehow get to read this again than I hope you settled for her, (Y/N) wasn’t something you settled for, she is nothing you deserve and you should make sure that you work hard to make it worth it. Don’t lose her, don’t do anything stupid, don’t screw this up. She is the one you didn’t think you would ever get... ”
“...I don’t want to forget her silly laugh or admiring bright eyes. I couldn’t forgive myself if I would let it ever happen to let her walk away. It’s hard enough if she leaves me alone for just a few minutes. I don’t know who that all happened but after all these years I don’t who I should thank that I deserve to have something so pure and perfect like this women than I will just make sure to show it her in every way there is...”
“...Nobody, not even I have really figured out what is really going on in my mind but somehow she understands how I’ve been feeling and what I go through by just being lost in my thoughts. She will know what to do right away and how to change that. I realised just how much I really need her and she won’t probably ever realise it...“
All phrases like that, sometimes small and sometimes even pages long were filling the book up. Small things you didn’t even notice about yourself stood in there and he would wrote about wanting to marry you or saying that he loves you before you even gave birth to Archer. Not even realising you are crying you shut the book and laid it besides you on the nightstand and got out of bed, seeing on your nightstand that you literally read the whole night this one journal, completely dedicated to you. It was so sappy and it was almost hard to believe that everything on these pages came from Bucky.
You tiptoed slowly towards Bucky’s room, hoping somehow he was still awake. The door crept open with your touch and you made it as quietly in the dark room, his bed empty and you furrowed your brows. Where could he be at this time. Back out in the hallway you saw his sleeping form curled up on the couch. Stepping forward you sat on the side and swept a few strands of hair that fell onto his face out of the way. He stirred and grumbled shortly making you grin slightly. Taking his hands in yours you decided to wake him up before more thoughts would eat you up from the inside. You missed him and you can’t deny it anymore.
“Bucky” you softly spoke, squeezing his hands to make him notice you. After a few more attempts he opened his eyes slight, squinting at you before realising what is going on.
“(Y/N)?! What’s wrong? What did I do?”he looked down to your hands and tensed up a bit, fearing that he had a nightmare or worse; that he fell back into old habits.
“Nothing” you simply said and leaned down to kiss him. Lips perfectly fitting over yours and as he finally kissed you back he pulled you fully on top of him. His tongue slipping past your lips to make it last as long as your breaths would hold. Holding your face in his hands while brushing your hair back. Both of you melted together in this passion filled kiss that without having to say much, it spoke out what you needed and wanted. As his hand started to roam the skin beneath your shirt you had to broke away to catch air. Opening your eyes you saw his blue ones staring right back at you.
“Ok what did I do cause the last thing I remember was that I didn’t deserve this” he chuckled but you stayed rather serious.
“You do. I read the journal...Sorry I was being so selfish, I - I just really miss you.” you bumped your nose with him wanting to kiss him again but he took your face in his hands again to make you look right at him.
“Don’t say sorry (Y/N). I was being the asshole and I shouldn’t have go before talking to you, it won’t happen again. I won’t go anywhere again” he said honestly, tearing up a bit.
“I forgive you. I hope you do too” you gave him a short peck before he whispered back.
“I already did” Turning you over on the couch so he was on top, just with one arm to hold his weight not wanting to crush you. Working fast on each other clothes he kissed you everywhere he could reach and skin was exposed. A warm tingly feeling making you both feel like finally home.
The whole night filled with making up, kisses and soft moans as you never wanted to leave this couch again. Neither of the both of you got much more sleep afterwards and decided to get ready for the day after you cuddled before falling asleep in each other arms again. Finally.
One day after a refreshing hot shower with Bucky later you walked into Archers room to dress him. He was of course already up and out of his bed cause apparently he is in an age where he would try to climb up everything that was in his way.
"Archer. What did I say about climbing out of your bed on your own?" You raised your brows at him and sat down besides him.
"No climbing" you repeated your words as he refused to answer. And as quick as that he was in a bad mood.
"What do we do now?"Bucky asked at the breakfast table as everyone just munched on their pancakes happily, besides him who had his head stuck in the clouds. Overthinking the future and what might be.
"I don't know. We could go to the lake?" You suggested but he just sighed out, giving up on the pancakes.
"No I am mean like in general. Do you want to stay here or not?" Bucky had trouble choosing the right words as you turned your attention now fully on him.
"You don't like it here?" You asked suspicious now.
"No. Not exactly...I mean I love it in Wakanda but not here in this apartment...like not; God why is that so hard? I was just thinking we could maybe look for something further away from the city" he laughed nervously and stuttered like a schoolboy. As he started with that sentence you almost catched a heart attack thinking that he didn't like this with you anymore.
"Choose your words wisely next time buddy" you laughed putting a hand over your heart as a joke.
“Sorry, sorry. Didn’t meant to scare you and no offense to your apartment but I don’t want to live...here” at this point he just gave up and leaned onto the table, hiding his face in his hands.
“Is daddy ok?” Archer whispered to you and you nodded your head before reaching across the table to him.
“It’s alright. I don’t like here either. What were you thinking exactly?” you assured him to let him rise his head again.
“Just wanted to talk with you first about it..uhm- maybe build a house?” he offered suddenly.
“You want to build a house?”you asked surprised, not that you thought it was a stupid idea but you had no idea about building a house and you didn’t really think that he had much of an idea about it either. Either way it would cost a lot of money too.
“You don’t think I can handle this doll?” he teased you smirking.
“No I mean it’s a house and it’s probably expensive as hell and we had to ask for permission...y’know since we kinda live here for free already and all?” you counted multiple more reasons why this maybe couldn’t work out while you started to clean the table, letting Archer play on the ground for a bit while you had a “grown up” talk.
“Don’t be mad but I already asked...” he mumbled and the dishes in your hand slipped out of your hands back into the water.
“When?” you laughed out, turning back to him.
“After I woke up from cryo..” Bucky said with this innocent look on his face but also like he was waiting for the explosion.
“So right after you woke up..your first thought was to build a house here for us?”
“Yes so what do you think?”You stood there speechless and just had nothing else to say then: “I love it” you grinned excitedly at Bucky who was the standing there now.
“Really? You’re not upset or anything?”
“Nope. Let’s do it” you shrugged with your shoulders and the widest grin on your face.Both of you now standing there in the kitchen before he stepped forward and sealed the deal with a kiss.
Several months later the small house was done.
It was further away outside of Wakanda near a field surrounded by a couple of trees, it was the perfect size for your little family and looked like a modern log house. You loved everything about it the second you moved in there. Bucky decided to also once the house was done to live without the metal arm, if he was comfortable with it and could handle this than you were happy too. He took his time for the both of you now and retired from fighting. Instead he helped on a couple of farms that are nearby to at least not sit around the whole day, Shuri also came by every once in a while to check on things. Actually a lot people did. Steve would often sleepover and have dinner, Wanda more oftenly disappeared to spend her time with Vision traveling the world and if she would visit than they would bring gifts from different places every time, Nat and Sam were still fighting and doing god knows what alongside their Captain of course. For now it seemed like you had settled down and you would take in every day as much as you could cause well you never know.
“Mommy!! Uncle Steve is back!!” Archer called for you who sat at the window waving excitedly before rushing off to the door, with you following.
“Steve..wow. That beard suits you” you chuckled as he came up the stairs greeting the two of you. He hasn’t been visiting for a couple of week but you didn’t think it was that long.
“Yeah somethin’ else right?. Hey Buddy how are you doing?” he smiled and ruffled his hair before looking back up with a rather serious look.
“What is it, should I get Bucky he isn’t far away? Is the rest ok?” you asked and looked past him worried but nope it was just him.
“No don’t worry, everyone is fine. Can we maybe sit down?” he sighed heavily and you nodded, it made you anxious seeing him like this. So you set down on the front porch with Ice tea and cookies.
“So what is going on? It better be something good” you joked, rubbing your hands together nervously.
“It is about your parents, your biological parents. We found them”
Summary: You and your boyfriend have powers, now he is dead and you are expecting a baby. Hydra is interested in the child so they send the Winter Soldier. What happens if Bucky unexpectedly falls for you…
This Part: Civil War is over and you live your life alone for now...
Warnings: angst, grief, emotional, maybe slight fluff but you won’t notice
A/N:Wow it’s been a while. hello and sorry...btw I saw endgame just like a few hours ago so sorry if that sucks. Haven’t written in a while and I am sad af right now
It didn’t took Steven long before he found you, his face showing somehow hints of guilt and grief, his jaw clenched as he looked around instead of looking straight at you. Exactly like you feared it to be, him trying to find the right words to describe what happened, what Bucky’s decision was.
“We have to talk” he just told you and sat down with you in one of the seats as the jet flew with auto-pilot towards Wakanda.
You felt like the world is about to collapse around you, in complete silence while you waited for these words to come out of his mouth, it felt like hours in these seconds neither of you didn’t speak. The world seemed grey and cold, time is going slower and slower. Steve himself looked tired and kinda rough. But he tried his best explaining to you that Bucky found it a better idea to just go back under without a single word, a goodbye, maybe even a talk. You had nothing from him, just that. The last time you spoke was the phone call. What he told Steve about Archer and you being better off without you, that he felt like this was the best case scenario at least for now, you would understand; Steven repeated his exact words for you. It felt like being left alone, like a break up through text or worse, through the best friend.
A promise seemed worthless in this time.
Speechless with a single tear rolling down your cheek, desperately trying to keep yourself together especially in front of all these soldiers, the king of Wakanda and his family that let you stay as long as you wanted, explaining once again Bucky’s choice and condition. How long it would actually take couldn’t be answered. Steve also was talking about what actually happened in Russia, with Tony’s Parents, the Avengers, his arm and some other stuff. You couldn’t listen much now, everyone talking about other stuff, telling you they are sorry. You just had to see it yourself.
As they lead you through these glorious hallways of this magical place decorated like you would the future imagine to be, just to be cut off here from the rest of the world for decades already. Truly peaceful.
And then there he was, the sleeping beauty you thought the second you saw him laying in there. It remembered you of some mornings you would wake up before him. It was rare but if you had a good night, without nightmares or after a dark day with the sun shining through the windows right to your bed making him glow. It wouldn’t last long this special moment because Bucky always had a sense for it if you would stare at him even in his sleep.
“(Y/N).” you heard Steve mumble out. The room now empty, just the four of you if you even could count Bucky.
“It’s like waiting for him to wake up” you replied, not sure if he understood what you told yourself. Fixed on him you couldn’t concentrate on anything else.
“You want to have a second alone with him?” he carefully asked, sighing and silently laying his hand on your shoulder making you tense before stepping away a few steps not daring to look back at Bucky. Suddenly feeling weird to look at him, he won’t wake up, that was his decision.
“No. Can you show me where I can stay?” you walked away waiting at the door where he followed shortly and directed you a bit outside the big tower into a another one, not far away, where you they let you stay in a apartment. Much different to anything you had before, bigger and more glamorous than you felt actually comfortable with. Steve left after trying to attempt another conversation with you but in the end gave you the time you needed. Archer had his own room, a lot of toys, a paradies for a kid.
You had for yourself a big bedroom with a large bed in the middle of the room pointed to a balcony with open doors as the sun slowly set. A breathtaking sight that let your skin warm up in the last the rays of sunshine before you tried to sleep but everytime you would turn over you saw the empty side of the bed. No snoring, no one there to calm you after a nightmare, no one you could take in your arms or would hear grumble some words in different languages. It was annoying you already so you threw away the covers and went to Archers room and picked him up taking him with you back to your room and laying down besides you. He didn’t even mind and slept through all that. For not knowing how long you just laid there with him admiring his features that looked more and more like Luke until your body seemed to shut down and letting you fall asleep.
Weeks and weeks followed by not knowing what to do. Steve and others visited you trying to come close, you saw almost every corner of Wakanda in your endless free time but still every day you visited Bucky just sitting there and looking. Archer stayed with you actually even tho you started to think that it might be not a good idea to let him see Bucky this way. So the visits got less from every day to a few times a week to once a month. Archer asking a lot for him, the more he learned to speak to do things he hasn’t done before. Things you liked to share with Bucky because you loved how happy he would get after Archer would learn something new or how his eyes would sparkle with joy if he would get to see new stuff, animals for example.
While your free time you decided to start with some training again, it just couldn’t continue like this being helpless the second you were alone, Steven was so nice to introduce you to fellow teammates. Wanda one of them was helping a lot, she didn’t have the same abilities as you did, she is actually much stronger than everyone you could think of but she tried to help you with your hand motions and tricks she did to learn so you could control it much better. Natasha showed you a bit hand-to-hand combat and how to use a weapon.
Christmas was here and you invited Steve over thinking that it might be also not easy for him and he sometimes seemed lonely. To pinpoint it out what was actually up with him was almost impossible but there was for sure something bothering him or maybe he didn’t told you something. Gifts were exchanged, a dinner was held and Steve ended up sleeping in the guest bedroom. New Years, Birthdays and all that just flew away. Time meant nothing anymore.
You hadn’t seen Bucky for a few months now but about a few weeks ago Steve let you know that they actually made a step forward and it might be a breakthrough, Shuri, the smart teenage girl who also is the princess of Wakanda gave you also daily news. All she was talking about was almost not understandable to you but what was coming out that he is supposed to wake up soon, like really soon but you only replied with a forced smile and a ‘Ok’. It was as clear as the day that everyone was worried and also curious about you, opening up to people was still a big problem to you.
“You want to be there when he wakes up?” Natasha asked after the last session as you changed into different clothes.
“I don’t think so” you continued to pack you back. Steve was asking that for a week straight now and everytime you would say the same four words. If you would be there what were you supposed to do. Greet him like he didn’t just left you for a whole year that could have turned into forever if Shuri wouldn’t be able to help him as he requested.
“I know how you must feel, being just left alone but maybe you should see over this. The way Steve is talking about Barnes, it seems like he needs you know more than ever” she explained and watched you putting your stuff almost angrily in your bag just shoving it inside.
“Really? What else did he told you cause from my sight. I was trying for a long time to help him and I really thought it did help and then suddenly I wasn’t good enough and he really thought that he was still danger for us- Maybe I needed him also!?” you shut your locker with a loud thud, voice cracking from every emotion you just kept deep inside you over the year.
“-I don’t know if I should go or if it’s a bad idea if I do. I don’t even know what I am doing still here waiting, it just doesn’t feel right Nat” you steadied your temper a bit and picked up your stuff, ready to leave and go home. She didn’t said anything else afterwards and you should probably apologize later or even tomorrow, it already got late.
“Hello you two. Did you have lots of fun today?” you grinned widely as you stepped into the living room, Steve painting something with Archer as they silently giggled along each other.
“Mommy!!” he run towards you and you picked him up, hugging him and showering him with kissed which made him erupted in even more giggles.
“Thanks for taking care of him again” you let him back down and followed him, sitting back down on the carpet as he showed you his pictures.
“I told you don’t have to thank me everytime, I like the time with him. He’s a really smart and kind boy.” he ruffled his hair and stood back up.
“I’ll be right back baby” you kissed Archer’s forehead and lead him to the door to say goodbye.
“You coming tomorrow?” he tried once again, tomorrow is the big day. How could you forget, not like that wasn’t letting you sleep for a week now.
“Steve..”you started but he held his hands up.
“I know, I know...Just sleep over it another time” he said and you nodded, hugging him another time before closing the door after he left you alone again with your thoughts.
The next day around noon you decided to visit Bucky. It was time you decided. Shuri encountered you on the way to him.
“Hey (Y/N)..Uhm you are a bit early. He hasn’t woke up yet” she checked another time on her phone his vitals but not like you didn’t knew that.
“I know. Won’t take long” you assured her and went around her into the room. He looked almost like always, laying there still sleeping just this time in a bed. Walking to one of the sides of his bed or well maybe more like table, you looked at him. Peaceful, chest moving with every breath he took. It felt surreal now but you slowly reached for his hand to hold it. It was unexpectedly warm. Naturally you also reached for his face just to run your fingers down his hair to his jaw. For a couple of more moments you waited and as he started to move slightly you backed away and back out of the room.
Bucky was actually almost awake as you came into the room. Still stuck between being unconsciousness and awake he knew someone came thru the door, by the time you held his hands, it was clear who it is. He was sure it was you and wanted to wake up but felt also scared that you would punch right back into a coma or something like this. Bucky wondered how long it has been while being in cryo again, scared that it was way longer and that he might be regretting the whole thing afterwards. The sensation of your fingertips over his face tingled, made him feel safe and comfortable. Bucky already started to think that he dreamed a good dream for once, that nothing was different or changed, that he was still frozen but it was too real for him, no words were spoken, it worried him. He is ready to open his eyes but then your hand disappeared again, footsteps slowly backing away until it was silent again. Just several hours later he actually woke up, with Steve in the room reading something in the seat besides him. You were nowhere in sight.
"Good Morning Sergeant Barnes" Shuris voice called out from the other side which made Steve stand up from his spot and stand by his side.
"How long was I out?" He asked, his voice a bit unsure as he sat up straight.
"Almost a year. Your vitals are normal and it should be all back in place, now obviously we have to run a few tests to try it out before I can really say that I've done my job if you don't mind" she said and proceed with the tests. Was almost like a normal check up and once the tests were done and he got the certainty about it, he got a new more basic outfit for outside but stayed for a while with Steve to get it just over it before it would plague his mind any longer and he had clearly enough of that now.
"How are they?" Bucky asked.
"They are fine. I tried to get them here but (Y/N),she..well they" he stuttered with a loss of words.
"She can have an attitude right? And she is not happy. Are they still here?" He finished Steve's sentence himself knowing well how you must be. Your attitude sometimes was one of a lot characteristics he loved..most of the time.
"Actually I don't know how they are. They are here but well she shut herself a bit off from everyone, started training but Archer is great, has been asking for you." Steve sighed out deeply and nodded towards the exit to follow him.
"Training, why? For what?" He furrowed his brows as he asked like he was expecting that there is going to be another war or something of like that. Concerned for what it could be if started to suddenly train.
"Nothing. Nat and Wanda has been helping her but couldn't say much more about it" Steve remarked and stopped outside by a bench to sit down.
"What do want to do now?" He asked as Bucky stayed silent.
"I guess try to talk to her" he shrugged and had to grin, not knowing where to even start.
"Sergeant Barnes. I was informed you are awake." T'Challa came walking up to them with two dora milaje by his side.
"Just Bucky. Thank you for letting me stay here and my family too"he meaningly and truthfully said, the hospitality was more than he could thank him for.
"You are welcome as long as you wish for." He nodded a quick goodbye to the both of them and walked away again.
"Wanna go to them now?" Steve changed back to their previous subject.
"Why not..I guess" he responded with content smile even he was certain that you had to talk about a lot of things but this felt like the kinda homecoming he wished he had after the war. Like the soldats coming to their waiting wives and kids, having a family had its perks but he wouldn't let go of that, whatever it takes.
Not far away from their spot Steve showed him their apartment, guessing that you would be home by now from your daily walk through the citys. Now leaving him alone, not wanting to be there just because it wasn't simply right if he would stay. With no further hesitation or other disturbing thoughts he knocked on the door a couple of times. With no big anticipation he stood there waiting until the door finally opened, wide enough to let him see you. You clung to the door not saying anything or showing any kind of emotion waiting for him to say something.
You thought about what to say the whole day and even the last whole week since Shuri meant it would be finally the time.
“I know what I did but it was the only solution for me” he straight up brought out, at least he didn’t hesitate you thought and nodded at him with a serious expression, walking back into the apartment so he could follow you inside. First things he saw as he looked around was that it looked like home, things he only remembered to have in your small Bucharest flat. Pictures actually hung up, a few toys scattered around, everything just had a personal touch.
“Where you in a rush? Was it like one of these now or never situations or more like well either that or I never get the chance again cause I know (Y/N) is gonna say no once she gets here” you mimicked his voice and called him out but you waited a year for that.
“-cause I get it then. Really James that was the right decision. I didn’t know I was that annoying that someone has to freeze himself in order to not see me again. Just tell me the next time please. That would help both of us!” you shouted but not as loud as you wanted to, Archer could sleep through a storm but not with someone fighting in the next room.
“It wasn’t like that and you know that.” he calmly told you, which made it even harder to be not mad at him.
“Tell me how it was cause I wasn’t here as you made this decision and it make me think that we don’t mean something to you and if-”you gulped down harshly before rethinking your choices of words.
“If that is the case then I’ll be gone tomorrow and you don’t have to see either of-” With watering eyes you felt your body began to shake, feeling the beginning of a panic attack rising letting you stumble over your words and thinking out loud, that happened a few times before.
“Woah. I never said that and I won’t. (Y/N) I love you...both! I couldn’t live without you and I don’t want to” he stepped forward stopping you mid-sentence trying to close the distance and finally take you in his arms again but you stepped back and crossed your arms in front of your chest, hugging yourself tightly.
“Don’t. You can sleep on the couch if you want to” you said and walked away closing your bedroom door behind you and laid down besides Archer who still slept most of the time in your bed. Staring at the ceiling you felt your tears burn in your eyes. It would be another sleepless night.
Bucky stood still helpless in the middle of the room, hoping you would return. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he got comfortable on the couch with a blanket draped over his legs and one of his arms behind his head staring around the room, being wide awake.
The moonlight was letting him see enough of the room. The photos that hung on the walls, a few of Archer, you and even Steve, after this conversation he was even more surprised that there were lots of him also. Some things he just missed, photos from Archers Birthday, him meeting rhinos for the first time or his second birthday.
A look around the room stopped on the table by the couch, drawings caught his attention as he sat up again to take a closer look at them. All of them are Archers drawings and some smaller doodles that definitely looked like Steve’s artwork. Seemed to be from him at different occasions even tho he wasn’t there at one of these, another one of him sleeping in the cryotube letting him know that you must have went there a couple of times. Steve was right about you shutting yourself off. He fucked up that’s what he got out of everything and that was nothing compared to fights you had before, it was serious and it might can’t be fixed anymore.
Summary: After an surprising return from his former crush, Bucky has to make some choices and try fixing his bad decisions...
Warnings: Language, lot is going on idk, fluff, anxiety
A/N: It’s been a while but I decided to not rush everything I do just because I am so damn impatient. I am so out of this game haha pls be kind it’s been a while. Also let’s not talk abour Abort Mission cause I have it all played out in my mind. i am just scared to write it.
Waking up from a deep sleep Bucky turned over to his side seeing his girlfriend still sleeping. Her hair almost perfectly laying on the pillows, not a single strand is out of place. Almost like in some movie with the birds singing outside, the first sun streams shining through the blindfolds and lighting up her perfectly shaped face. Rose is her name.
It was still fresh between the both of them and everything was going fine. To normal, to perfect. Like they have been together for 10 years already. It was supposed to be a one night stand after a bad day, a bad week, probably a bad month so he walked to the next bar and just wanted to get off some steam and forget about it, forget about the Avengers, the person that left but never left his mind than Rose showed up and just stuck to him, something Bucky never wanted but also didn’t wanted to lose. Maybe it was just that she showed up to the wrong time, it is a difficult situation that was for sure.
Slowly removing the blanket that laid over him, Bucky tiptoed with his clothes out of the room. Dressing himself and going back to the tower which wasn’t far away. She would understand why he left, that was always like this and she would be always so nice and respectful towards him. They didn’t had a fight or even an argument once in the months they already “dated”, if you could call it that. Nobody also knew about this, well besides Steve but he noticed that right away. Pinching the bridge of his nose all he wanted was know to get back to bed and maybe eat something before disappearing into his room for the rest of the day.
The Elevator stopped midway to his stop, Steve appearing as the doors opened, his brows querking up as he saw his friend.
“Well look who is it. How’s Rose doing?” Steve teased Bucky knowing exactly where he was because that was already the routine they went through.
“Good. I was supposed to tell you that she wanted to meet up with you for something called..’Yoda’?” Bucky sighed out shrugging with his shoulders as he heard Steve chuckling out.
“Oh yeah Yoga..Listen I wanted to let you know that someone came in today” he turned serious and Bucky frowned turning to his side as Steve tried to avoid eye contact.
“Who?” Bucky asked but before Steven could answer to his question the doors opened and like a scene started playing in his head turned to reality. (Y/N) came in sight, she was carrying a box that seemed to be a touch to full, breaking and all the belongings inside falling in front of feet to the ground. She angrily huffed out went to picked her stuff up. He didn’t even realise that he said her name out loud as her head snapped around, her lips forming a happy smile as she got up again and darted towards him. Steve patted his back let them have their little reunion.
“Bucky!! It’s so good to see you. It’s been so so long. You have to tell me everything that happened, Steve told me Nat and Wanda are still on a mission so you gotta stick with me” she hugged him tight, with her arms around his neck so he could nuzzle his face into her neck, relaxing immediately and forgetting the rest of the world. What is main goal was since she left after she got promoted and put in charge of one the headquarters in europe. She still smelled like home to him reminding him on his first crush that he had on her after everything he went through.
“Everything alright?” she asked worried and ran her hands through his hair just the way he liked it, making him puddy in her hands.
“Yeah of course. I am just surprised to see you..that’s all.” He closed his eyes and tried to enjoy it for a bit longer but she pulled away and kissed his cheek, something she always did after a hug.
“God yeah.. I can’t believe it either. Sorry I didn’t had the chance to call as often as I wanted to. How are things here? Did something else happened here? Something interesting to know about?” she looked deeply into his eyes and he got almost lost in her eyes. Oh how much he missed her but he couldn’t bring himself to it to tell her about Rose. If it was something he would never expect than it was him being insecure or scared about telling you about his huge crush but things just changed and so did Bucky would he have been the old charming 40’s Bucky he would for sure not have a chance with you, the way you are you would have called him asshole probably. Well much to his dismay you’re main reason to come back was because of Bucky but of course you didn’t had anyone know that.
“No same old, same old. You didn’t miss anything. How long you are staying?” he lied and quickly changed the subject.
“Forever. I won’t go again. I just couldn’t do it over there. I missed you way to much” she confessed blushing and he couldn’t believe the words that left her lips.
“- Steve’s captain behaviour, Sam’s stupid jokes, Tony well just him general..You, our movie nights..just all of that” she got on and Bucky gulped down heavily, to good to be true.
“Good to have you back (Y/N)! I’ll help you unpack” Bucky said and she thanked him, walking out of sight with the first box.
“Thank you Buck the rest is still in the garage” she called over her shoulder and he went to the elevator with a grin plastered over his face, his exhaustion just flew out of the window and his thoughts replaced with daydreams just like she never left and as the doors opened Rose walked out almost stumbling into him.
“Oh hey I was looking for Steve. He’s late again. How are you Babe?” she kissed him but he couldn’t respond or even return the kiss. This day must be cursed.
“Hey Buck!” he heard you call out and Bucky praced forcefully onto the elevator button for it to open, shoving Rose into it. “Steve is downstairs waiting for you. See ya later” he kissed her cheek and pressed on the floor, not even looking which one it was.
“Who was that?” she said but Bucky stood in front of the elevator and shook his head innocently.
“Nat just came back. Steve is waiting isn’t he? Have fun” he waved as the doors slowly closed and they shot each other a quick smile. What just happened he thought to himself as he turned to you again changing his anxious expression to a grin.
“How about Lunch? We have some catching up do. The boxes can wait” (Y/N) linked her arm with his and pressed the elevator floor again.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked as they waited for the elevator to come back up again, kinda hoping that Steve and Rose are gone. He felt like a asshole with whatever he is doing right now.
“Only a few things” she winked at him and went into the elevator.
“No..I-I mean like food? What did you think I was talking about?” he grinned, slightly confused. Not taking his eyes off her even tho Bucky blushed for sure hard.
“Nothing. I know you like this Pizza store a few blocks from here. Is that still there?” She always knew what he liked, what he wanted or sometimes what he thought.
“Yes it is, good idea haven’t been there since forever”
Nope he was there yesterday, why did he say that? They both stepped out and he immediately heard and mostly saw his tall figure sticking out from the rest, Steve with obviously Rose by his side. His heartbeat increased and quickly looked for an escape.
“Look (Y/N). Remember Stan our delivery guy. You must haven’t seen each other yet.” he turned her towards the post delivery guy who was always so nice and talked a lot with (Y/N) who was always up for long talks.
“Oh yeah wow hold on a sec’..Hey Stan!!” she said making her way to the other side and he turned quickly towards Steve nodding him away for a private conversation. Away from both of them.
“What are you doing?” Steve looked straight through him noticing his weird behaviour.
“You gotta keep Rose as far away from (Y/N) for the rest of...well our lives probably”
“Buck...No, don’t do this. You gotta introduce Rose to her no matter how much you try to hide her. I know you good enough by now” He crossed his arm, turning on his lecturing mode. Of course he knew that he can’t keep doing this but it had to be this way until he was sure what to do.
“Please save it, I know it by know. How am I even supposed to do this now? ‘hey Rose this is (Y/N) the love of my life. Oh and (Y/N) this is Rose who I also like and is my distraction from you after you left and broke my heart” he threw him back a look and whispered-yelled at him.
“Bucky. do you listen to yourself?” Steve replied shaking his head at him.
“Just do it Stevie, please.” he pointed at him and turned away making a b-line straight to you.
Already on a walk through the park after the delicious pizza you talked for a bit, enjoying the outside and each other. Bucky noticed that nothing has to be perfect, he liked it how it is. You had your insecurities, both of you had arguments about the most stupid stuff, just now you tripped twice and both times let your ice cream fall. He knew now that it might be stupid to break that up with perfect Rose but he didn’t want anything perfect, he liked every insecurity from you and that you indeed had your bad days. It might hunt him forever to break this girls heart and maybe that won’t work out with you but he will be damned if he didn’t try it. Bucky wanted the mess that you are. One your way back to the tower, dark clouds started to form and it rained and didn’t stopped but neither of you could care less. You got completely drained and he was for sure that you would get sick but seeing you this happy while literally jumping through the puddles. Your makeup running down your face looking like you got out of a bad relationship. But it was worth to do so. Why not for once enjoying things like this instead of being angry about everything that it is put in your way.
“So we definitely have to get changed but we could maybe pick up some boxes on our way up before I hear Tony stumbling over them and getting moody again” you let him know, wringing your hair and clothes out a bit so you wouldn’t leave a trail of water behind you.
“Really good idea. I had to listen to that way to often. Good thing you’re back, might be the only one that could handle Tony in this state” he laughed out letting his mind wander off.
“For sure. I haven’t even seen him yet. Let’s see how he will react” After you got two or three boxes you made it back upstairs and moved them all in your room which surprisingly still looked very much the same. Nothing was moved or touched, it was also very clean which you don’t even remember leaving it like this.
Three knocks let you flinch up a bit as you got a little to lost in packing your stuff out again. It felt so good so to be home. Just the smell and having friends or you could say family right besides you was everything you’ve ever wanted no matter how much you could loose your nerves sometimes.
“Come in” you shouted from your positions between the mess you’ve created, still in your fluffy bathrobe that you forgot here all these months ago and also missed really badly.
“It’s me. I thought maybe you needed a little bit help packing things out” Bucky suggested sticking his head through the doorway.
“How nice of you. Of course, let me get a bottle of-”before you finished your sentence Bucky already came through the door with what you really wanted know. One of Tony’s not so expensive wines, after you once accidently drank one of the ‘good one’ and wouldn’t want to repeat this after you saw Tony’s head almost exploding from anger.
“You know me to well Bucky” you smirked and made some space besides you petting the carpet for him to sit down.
“Of course I do..so where do you wanna start doll” Bucky said taking a look around the room, boxes all differently labeled but not with Shoes or clothes. Not it was with countries, states and cities you must have been to, Spain, Paris, Rome, Croatia, Russia and even Bucharest, he had for sure a few good memory and bad about Romania.
“Just grab a box and let’s get started because I think we will have a long night ahead of us” you told him grabbing the Paris one while Bucky chose right away the Bucharest one. You shouldn’t have packed the boxes while being so excited to get back it was even a mess inside of the boxes. You just hoped there wasn’t anything embarrassing in one of those boxes that could get into Bucky’s hands or worse Sam’s, who always found a way to find everything about anyone out. The teasing would never stop.
“Wait why is here a gift with my name on it?” He suddenly said as he pulled out the small wrapped box that laid in there and you totally didn’t forget about.
“Uhm right, I forgot I got some presents for you because sometimes this random stuff reminded me of you guys. That’s is honestly a bit more seriously because I found in the archive a box with your belongings from your apartment in Bucharest and well I thought they belonged to you..obviously and I didn’t look any further into that. Don’t worry” you said and tried to fish out his present from rome, the rather not so serious one. Bucky just stared back and forth from the box and you, speechless that you did that for him which also could for sure cost you your job.
“That is what I believe I picked up the second I landed. So I know you will love this but also probably won’t wear outside your room” you handed him the second one and chuckled a bit which died down as you saw his straight face just looking at you.
“-What don’t you like it? Was this to much.. I-I should have thought more about this.” you face palmed yourself but he stopped you with a gentle touch on your shoulder, his hand then running down your back, but not to far obviously.
“No no I am just speechless (Y/N)..that’s it. Thank you so much. I appreciate this a lot” Bucky said with all of his honesty and reached out to you, hugging you so long he was sure you knew that he deeply meant it. After this beautiful moment you entangled yourself from his arms but stayed still not far away from his face, just looking into each other eyes, your hot breath hitting each others skin. The perfect moment to kiss and you leaned in first already imagining his soft lips against yours moving in unison and fulfilling a dream you both shared. His hands still gripping your side while you were toying with the end of his long hair you always loved so much, especially after you braid it a few times so it would fall into these gentle locks the next day which you adored even more. You Nose started to tickle and suddenly you ruined this wonderful moment. Sneezing but thankfully not in his face. Turning away you felt the heat rushing into your face making you for sure look like a cherry.
“Sorry” you mumbled, to embarrassed to look back up.
“I knew you would get sick the second you jumped into this puddle. We should take a break for today and finish this tomorrow” he laughed nervously, standing up while stuttering over his words and escaping from this weird situation.
As you heard the door close and steps going further down the hallways you sighed out loud.
“You are such a dumbass (Y/N)” you told yourself standing up and going straight to bed in hope you would forget this very last part of your day.
Bucky had also a restless night. Just staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head and his mind plaguing him with thoughts he shouldn’t be even thinking.
Why didn’t you kiss her? Isn’t that what you wanted all along? What the ever living fuck Barnes? You have a girlfriend!
Even before the sun rises again he jumped out of his bed to run a few miles. Clear his head. Get out and forget it or more like think it over, considering that the last time he wanted to forget he got a girlfriend.
It actually helped, all the people, the fresh cold air, the music blasting through his earphones and the day beginning, like a fresh start.
“Someone seemed to have a good rest. Can’t sleep in your own bed anymore (Y/L/N)?” Steven greeted you as you dragged yourself into the kitchen in need for a strong coffee. A blanket draped around you, your hair in a messy bun on top of your head. To sum this all up you also felt the way you looked. A mess. Not like you weren’t already one.
“No it wasn’t that. Something happened last night and well..I just didn’t get much sleep” you tried to keep it short not wanting to throw him into this. In case he was uncomfortable talking about this, Steve is one of your best friends but well some things should be kept private especially if it’s about Bucky, his best friend. The “Girly” talk was probably more something what for Wanda, she loved to brag about stuff like this.
“Oh no. What did Bucky do? I told him to tell you about it before I had to do it..” Steve rolled his eyes and dropped his newspaper dramatically, the only one who would still read newspaper along with Bucky and they get constantly teased about it.
“How do you know it was him?” you questioned and turned your attention fully towards him. his eyes wandering away as he gulped down and tried to get his attention back to something else.
“Because..well you’ve spent the last..day..mostly together” he hesitated told you and sipped way to long on his drink. Something was going on, you just had to figure out what. Most importantly because Steve was lying and he needed a damn good reason for him to do so Mister-Golden-Boy-Dorito-looking-granpa never lied, never good enough.
“You are still the worst liar. What is going on Steven?” You were the one of the only few ones on the team with no special powers but they could get easily get scared of you. With the sweat starting to form on his forehead he folded his newspaper back into place and took his mug, starting to walk away as you narrowed your eyes at him and leaning slightly towards him.
“Sorry (Y/N) I am going to be late..”He only called out making quick steps to the hallway.
“I will find you Rogers! You can’t hide from me” you shouted back and grabbed your coffee to make your way back to your room, catching up on sleep or just doing something to shut your head off for a little bit.
After an angry call from Steve, Bucky decided to break it off with Rose and also tell you about his relationship with her. Instead of walking back home he continued his run right to Rose apartment and he got there all sweaty even tho he didn’t care much, it just had to be done now or it won’t happen at all until you would found out yourself or Steve would tell you or Rose would find out, there were a lot of possibilities for this end up. As a decent amount of time has passed standing in front that door Bucky brought his hand up and knocked a couple of times. Voices came from inside that toned down as he knocked, one of those possibilities that run through his mind just came reality he thought right before Rose opened the door in a swift motion smiling brightly with a sparkle in her eyes as she saw who it was and he smiled too but that fell down as the door further opened and a slightly older couple sat on the couch looking at him just as brightly.
“Bucky finally! I was starting to worry. You haven’t answered my texts or calls. I wanted to tell you but well that are my parents. They took an earlier flight to surprise us!” Rose told him taking his hand into hers to take him inside to greet her parents as all what Bucky could hear afterwards was glass shattering in his mind or a long silent tone like he got disconnected from reality. This couldn’t be real. This was starting to turn serious, way to serious!
Just as he wanted to break up with her because he still had feelings for someone else her parents had to of course show up!!
“Nice to meet you.” he shook both of their hands and decided to just play along and take this as his punishment from karma.
“Nice handshake. I like him Rosie” her father chuckled.
“She told us so much about you. I am really happy that she finally found the one!” she laughed and got quickly cut off by Rose, thankfully before Bucky’s jaw would fall to the ground.
“Mom!! I thought we talked about this?”she blushed and he had to excuse himself as he got a phone call from who else could it be. (Y/N).
“Hey what’s up?” he closed the kitchen door behind him to get some privacy. The thought of jumping out of the window became a better idea from second to second.
“Tony is back and he decided to throw a party today. The rest of the team might come back today too so he thought he has a reason now to throw a party which he never really did but..sorry anyway I wanted to ask if you wanted to come too?” you stopped shortly and he had to chuckle as he practically heard you facepalm yourself.
“Not like you wouldn’t come..I- I mean you live here but like..I mean like a date?” you added, on the other line already biting your lips so hard it was for sure bleeding and blushing too as you pace up and down in front of the couch as Tony watched you who just talked you into this after a long talk with him.
“Uh sure. Of course. I would love to” he frowned and looked through the small window seeing Rose giving him thumbs up. That turned to the rom-com movies he hated so much way faster than expected. This was just really fucked up and it’s to late to turn around.
“Ok I’ll send you the details.” you breathed out like a pressure was taking off of you and hung up again. It was time to get going to make the most out of yourself with a new dress and there were still so many errands to run but it was worth it since you after all this time did something you were so scared for. A date with Bucky Barnes. Who would have thought.
After the parents of Rose luckily made their way back to their hotel again after a way to long talk, Bucky wanted to disappear just fast to get to the party. The only thing right now on his mind besides you. The sun setting already broke a sweat in him and as he excused himself from her she stopped him at the doorway with a kiss and a last sentence that let shivers run down his back.
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