Over the past year I have experienced various levels and forms of heartbreak in various areas of my life; from my love-life to my professional life, regarding my long and short term life goals and my creative passions. The last six months were especially hard; everything seemed to come crashing down at the same damn time. By Christmas I NEEDED a break. I had filled myself with so much resentment, anger and general negativity, it was toxic. Also disappointed I didn’t get to go to Ghana even for a little bit, I spent the remainder of my holiday in cold New York (after a Bomb-ass time in Cancun!) and always with the beautiful company of my friends and family. During that time I really thought about Life, and had so many meaningful conversations with people God had planted in my life or set me up to meet, who imparted much needed wisdom to my hopeless, angry, hurting self.
One of the many lessons I learned last year was to trust that everything happens the way it should and for a reason. That includes the passions in your heart and what they inspire you to do, when they do. Knowing that God has a vision much bigger than yours and your plan has already been set into motion.
Another lesson is to count your blessings. Focus on your wins and the things you do have. It’s so easy to dwell on the failures and mishaps - it’s human nature. But it’s the little victories that make worth living. I have witnessed first-hand the effects a change in attitude can have on your life. The type of energy you put out into the universe influences what you in turn receive.
Don’t place your Hope in other people. It’s not fair to them: they are only human. We all fail, have weaknesses and look out for ourselves first. People. Will. Fail. You. It’s not fair to you: don’t build your house on sand and then cry when the storm comes. You don’t deserve the constant disappointment and pain. Trust in yourself and your higher power.
I came back to London with a very different perspective and as hard as it was/ has been/ IS, I’m learning to forgive myself and others for our mistakes and crimes. After feeling hurt and alone for so long, I found the Love in my life because started looking for it. I’m growing to appreciate those who show up and those who are there, those who check in, those who care, those who listen and those who open themselves up to you because they want to.
Fast forward to my born-day, I’ve received so much love from all parts of my life. I received the most thoughtful, meaningful, beautiful gifts and had so much drunken fun! I felt LOVED, wanted, appreciated and valued — you can’t ever take that for granted. My London famjam really showed up with a the biggest smiles and a massive bag of all the things I love including my bomb ass cake from bomb ass hummingbird!!!
February 15 marked my last day at a job that was no longer my portion. It marked the closing of several chapters in my life and the beginning of yet another. Like everyone in their 20s, I’m still trying to figure my life out. But #2017 is the year of following your dreams and with that being said, this will be my last year in London.
