Psycho Hipsters

The lethal tools of a psycho hipster. All genuine items found on svpply.com and uncrate.com. *** NEWSFLASH *** *** Tuesday 24 June 2014 *** Svpply's decision to shut up shop in order to concentrate on some flash in the pan called eBay, has left me crestfallen. As such, I've taken the decision to stop filling this blog with any more lethal weapons of the hipster variety. With immediate effect. I know you're disappointed, but I am too.

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You know how a pen knife doesn’t actually feature a pen? Well, this is a key knife, and it does feature a key. But the key doesn’t actually work.

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A special, guest entry from Hypebeast, "the integrated carrying clip allows you to take it anywhere". I'm not sure that's 100% accurate, but if Hypebeast say so...

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This is a Husqvarna Hatchet. I like this for two reasons. There's no "u" after the "q", which is very unusual. And, it's alliteration. I love alliteration.

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Made by authentic, real humans.

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A rigging knife. Perfect for all the rigging I do.

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Only 37 grams!! Ooh la la.

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In a box, in a case.

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Some people think it's a little heavy handed using this to get falafel out my teeth. But not me.

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The russian dolls of knives.

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I got this because it looked cool. It's called a calf stropping leather, but I don't know if it's for my legs or a baby cow.

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I put this Nigel Cabourn balaclava on and went in to a store and stole a bunch of Nigel Cabourn balaclavas. I think that's irony isn't it?

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Suspiciously cheap. Free tetanus. 

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Hey have a look at my new watch. Yeah... take a closer look. Hehe, there go your eye brows.

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Sailor mini knife. Have you ever seen a sailer with a mini knife?

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Man, I hadn't seen a hatchet for a while... I was starting to get worried.

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Spork death.

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I'm crying just thinking about this.