So I'm in a complicated situationship, I call this man my boyfriend (when talking to friends), he has commitment issues, but we see each other frequently, we spend time like couples do, go on dates, but how can I manifest an actual relationship with him? I know he isn't seeing anyone else, he assured me about that, for the past month I've been listening to manifestation songs, every time I fell out of the "wish fulfilled" state I'd reassured myself that it is all already done and the way he's acting did change for the better and we even had a sleepover recently, but I want him to actually ask me to be in an official relationship with him. Do I just keep spending time with him until he does it? Well, it is what I'd do if I was in an official relationship with him BUT then he's getting relationship treatment without commitment
This is a good question because IMO it points out a really confusing misapplication of good advice which is "Live in the end!".
That's all well and good if your 3D is no contact and your end is commitment and your SP comes out of no contact considerably reformed.
But it's confusing when you're IN contact and they're not conforming! Because just like you say, the advice seems to suggest that you just go along with whatever is happening even if it's not what you want, because you *are* in contact and they *are* acting positively with you...but without commitment.
First let me explain why, and then how.
Right now, you're genuinely concerned with doing 'the right thing' to manifest this relationship w your SP, but the underlying fear is that if you don't, you'll lose him. So you go along with a non-committal situationship even though you don't want that---- ***this is where you are abandoning and not committing to yourself and your wants!!! and that is why your SP isn't either!!!***
Understand that you CANNOT lose your manifested counterpart. As long as you are acting from your *authentic* desires and beliefs they will ALWAYS be there and conform! If you start being truly authentic and they disappear-- you can be sure they weren't right for you!
The longer you tolerate what you don't want, the further away it strays.
Now this is where it gets tricky bc I've been here before and also made mistakes on how to get out of it. I assumed that if I wanted commitment, and my SP wasn't giving it, that I needed to fight those circumstances and/or say something to push the relationship along. Or that I needed to just 'grin and bear' the hot & cold behavior.
Reacting to a circumstance just makes it more real. Gaslighting yourself into believing your 3D is different than it is is ALSO reacting, and out of fear (of loss) at that, which only manifests more of the like.
So what is the right course of action?
Understand that the 'correct' form of your SP is committed, knows what he wants, pursues you etc. This form won't show up as long as you're still mirroring, reinforcing and interacting with the noncommittal one! Since you always get what you want, and never deal with what you don't want, and since nothing can mess up your manifestation: Don't do anything with your SP that you don't actually want. Don't reward him if he's not being his conformed version. Don't be so desperate that you betray yourself for a little bit of affection from someone who won't commit or be clear.
Now an important caveat here is that it's fine to be friends with him- in fact it's often part of the process for many of us who are manifesting deep committed romances as friendship is part of the foundation of a good and healthy relationship.
But don't play girlfriend to a wishy washy man when you're actually someone's wife!!!
Sidenote: talking about your relationship w others so much might be messing this up!! Remember Neville suggests not to tell people what you're working on. Having too many consciousnesses affecting things with their judgments, doubts and perceptions can alter your work. You might need to 'go ghost' for a while.
If you're That Girl in your desired end, you absolutely are not the type to be strung along in confusing situations with a man who can't make his intentions clear or give girlfriend treatment to someone who is just confusing you!
So stop playing GF in the 3D bc the 3D doesn't matter anyway!!
Stay in the 5D where he has NO commitment issues and gives you all the attention you desire. Work on your self concept bc something is off there if you're playing around in a 'situationship'. You say you know he has issues so why are you still trailing him? Ask yourself that. Be absolutely bored with his lame hot & cold immature behavior. Work on yourself, DO NOT REACH OUT first, do not contact him, do not pursue, only respond, and only out of authenticity. Do not respond to him as if he is being 'better' than he actually is.
In situations like this, LitE doesn't mean giving them GF treatment when they don't deserve it-- it means acting as if you are already totally absorbed in the relationship you want. Because if you were you wouldn't have the time or desire to mess around with immature people who you KNOW have 'commitment issues'!
Living in the end means being the person who has what they want on the inside and operating from there. And that person is in a happy committed mature relationship. She has 0 time or tolerance for games.
Lastly, SPs come RUNNING when you take the attention off of them and put it on you. No need to be mean to them, but understand that being noncommittal and uncomformed is boring and uninteresting and doesn't make your heart happy...so move accordingly, dove.
Final tip: do this for at least 3 weeks- don't waver! New brain connections take 21 days to form, and it takes average men 3-4 weeks to process relationship changes. Stick it out and see what happens. Visualize and affirm every night but from a place of 'it doesn't matter what I do, I always get what I want'. Shrug it off, he's helpless to conform and you are totally unbothered in the meantime bc you already have what you want.
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