[beatonna]

sick burns 

[septictankie]

[liquorinthefront]

[joleebindo-blog]

Well, you know, to say that he couldn’t harm somebody with what he did—he could, absolutely, he could. But to cast him out, to make him invalid in society simply because he has scissors for hands—I mean, that’s strange. People didn’t get scared until he started sculpting shrubs into dinosaur shapes and whatnot.

CNN booked Twitter comedian Jon Hendren (@fart) instead of Al Jazeera reporter John Hendren for an interview about Edward Snowden, and he answered all questions as if they were about Edward Scissorhands.

[video]

(via joleebindo)

i’m honestly screeching at the entirety of this

(via communistcoppola)

[ptrckstump]

me: *opens Facebook app*

facebook: you tryna show everybody this slideshow of your titties?

[jasonmantzoukas]

when b99 does The Thing

[horseman-bojack]

[bang]

????????

[anshelinasholie]

me

[sinfilth-moved]

self care is drinking 3 pots of coffee and getting into a knife fight w god

[eadrik]

you: amy dunne overreacted

me: ok but he literally made her move to missouri

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

[champgn]

[sadhearts]

me: feels sad for literally 5 minutes

me: doesn’t go to school, calls into work, impulsively buys shit i don’t need, ruins all my relationships

[hellyeahcharlieday]

[booksfunquotes]

[bigspender]

can ppl like……… stop having a concept of me in their head ……… no object permanence here…..i only exist when im right in front of you….. no memories allowed. thx for understanding.