Old P'trik, New Hubba

RP blog for Fire Emblem's perverted old goat, Hubba. Younger self: http://ptriky-grandmaster.tumblr.com Mun: http://fitchinup.tumblr.com

[incorrectfeaquotes]

Submitted by Anonymous

[ptriky-old-hubba]

“Not as bad as you might think!”

[ptriky-old-hubba]

@soleil-is-the-bae​

“I love my brother and all, but can we PLEEEASE get a new sage?! This one is just an old pervert with some creepy incest fetishes! Ugh, gross! You “sense an affair in the making…” between my daughter and my father?! Umm, I’m pretty sure if I asked you what you do in your spare time around the castle, you would just tell me “It’s a secret to everybody”. What’s the deal with creepy old guys living alone, offering “sagely wisdom” anyway?”

“Now wait a darn tootin’ minute!! You mean to tell me my position as Love Guru has been usurped by this...this...upstart?!”

(^the upstart)

“Lookit him with his full beard and head of hair....I promise you that as the true Love Guru I would never make such incestuous readings!”

“See what I mean? Vote for a cleaner Love Guru! Down with Rainbow Sage! Up with Hubba!”

[roleplayaskmemes]

Send my muse some bad pick-up lines!

[ptriky-old-hubba]

“The old ones are getting fairly stale, need to up my repetoire!”

[susurrusilous-deactivated201601]

Send me a ship and a number and I'll tell you

[noblestson]

Keep reading

[faulkner-apollo]

People seems to like this on Twitter so I’ll post it here too.

[astralborne]

tag: old ass man with his old ass face

im fuckign laughing

[ptriky-old-hubba]

“I feel like I should be offended but I’m not sure why.”

[ptriky-old-hubba]

“Not sayin’ to settle, missy, sayin’ ta wait! All you youngins are in such a rush to find true love and get hitched, start a family and all that hullaballoo. Is true love just going to fall in yer lap if you wait? Heck no! But if you go chasin’ down the wrong tree yer gonna wind up regrettin’ it in the long run! Heck, maybe in the short run. Everythin’ happens whens it’s supposed to happen, but you also gotta give it a bit of a push! Ye don’t get sumptin’ from nothin’! So just hold yer horses and when the right one really does come along, give ‘em yer all!”

[sisterhccd-a-blog]

“Okay…. and… what if I think I’ve already found the right one? I shouldn’t wait anyway, right?”

[ptriky-old-hubba]

“If you think you’ve found ‘em, go fer it! Put all yer heart into it so you’re not disappointed with yer efforts! BUT---And Missy this ‘un here’s a big but...a nice slovenly, cushy butt with just the right amount of of cush-to-firmness rati-----um. *AHEM* If it just so happens that it don’t work out, don’t take it like it’s the end of the world. You tried yer best, right? Gave it yer all and no regrets? (Save fer maybe tryin’ in the first place but who’d blame ya?) Then take heart in knowing it wasn’t meant t’ be and yer prince or princess charming is still on the way.

‘s better to have loved and loved than...than...I don’t remember how that darn tootin’ thing goes anymore. My wife was the one who was up an’ up on all of that love poetry hootenany.

Yer in the spring-time of yer youth! Enjoy it! But don’t take it all none too seriously, mhmm?”

[ptriky-old-hubba]

“Simple. Yer simply incompatible. Some people work well together and some people don’t. Some may look great or start off great, but as you get to know ‘em or spend more time with ‘em, the veneer wears off. Gotta take the time to find jus’ the right one fer ya.”

[sisterhccd-a-blog]

“But almost all the people I was really interested in, I got a low score with. Do I have to settle for someone I don’t really want because this thing says it’ll last?”

[ptriky-old-hubba]

“Not sayin’ to settle, missy, sayin’ ta wait! All you youngins are in such a rush to find true love and get hitched, start a family and all that hullaballoo. Is true love just going to fall in yer lap if you wait? Heck no! But if you go chasin’ down the wrong tree yer gonna wind up regrettin’ it in the long run! Heck, maybe in the short run. Everythin’ happens whens it’s supposed to happen, but you also gotta give it a bit of a push! Ye don’t get sumptin’ from nothin’! So just hold yer horses and when the right one really does come along, give ‘em yer all!”

[ptriky-old-hubba]

“Hey Missy, I make a living off of that ‘love calculator garbage!’ Don’t knock it till you try it!”

[sisterhccd-a-blog]

“So you’re this ‘Doctor Love’? Then explain to me why I keep getting low scores with all the cute girls (and guy) I tried it with!”

[ptriky-old-hubba]

“Simple. Yer simply incompatible. Some people work well together and some people don’t. Some may look great or start off great, but as you get to know ‘em or spend more time with ‘em, the veneer wears off. Gotta take the time to find jus’ the right one fer ya.”

[sisterhccd-a-blog]

“More of this ‘love calculator’ garbage? Eugh.”

[ptriky-old-hubba]

“Hey Missy, I make a living off of that ‘love calculator garbage!’ Don’t knock it till you try it!”

[roleplay-booster]

SHIPPING THEM HARD! Send me two character names and I’ll fill out the list for you:

Who is the clingy one? - 

Who is more likely to admit a mistake? - 

Would they lie to make each other happy? - 

Who is more experimental (in bed)? - 

Who is more spontaneous? - 

What do they do to cheer up each other on a bad day? - 

Is there something they’d like to change about each other? - 

How do they describe one another to other people? - 

How are they both handling money? - 

Who is the more romantic one? - 

Lazy days or adventure together? Who prefers what? - 

Who is the one to more likely initiate sex? - 

If they had a pillow fight, who would win? - 

Who plans more cute surprises for the other? - 

[allmyfriendsarebears-deactivate]

“…People should fall in love with who they want to fall in love with.” 

[ptriky-old-hubba]

The dottering old man can’t help but overhear the towering knight as he shuffles by, despite not being able to hear much at all these days.

“Mhmm, but the thing with that sonny is that those people aren’t always in love with them back.”

[rosie-loves-her-muses-deactivat]

Sad OTP Meme - Send in a ship and I’ll tell you:

who gets overwhelmed by small acts of kindness?

who flinches at sudden movements?

who is most confused as to why their S.O. is still with them?

who has to constantly check their S.O. still loves them?

who says the other/s would be better off with someone else?

who gets surprised when they are given gifts?

who is most likely to break down on the other and how does their S.O. attempt to calm them down?

who is most self conscious in public?

who is more likely to apologize a million time for a tiny mistake?

who admits they’re scared only when they think their S.O. is asleep and how does the other react?

who never thinks they’re good enough for the other?

who takes a bullet for the other

[eggnogrph-blog]

Send 💕 and my muse will use The Love Calculator to see how compatible they are.

Site being used (x)

[ptriky-old-hubba]

(Send two characters)

[f-yeah-askmemes]

♡ Send me a ship and I’ll tell you

[inlustriis]

f-yeah-askmemes:

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa

Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them

Who starts the tickle fights

Who starts the pillow fights

Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile

Who mistakes salt for sugar

Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines

Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order

Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies

Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion

Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen

Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation

Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines

[stealing-your-soda]

Send me a ship and I'll tell you

How do much do I ship it?: Never heard of it/ Notp / Dislike / used to ship / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / IS IT CANON YET?

What non sexual activities do they like to do together?

Who does chores around the house?

Who’s the better cook?

Who’s the funniest drunk?

Do they have kids?

Do they have any traditions?

What do they fight about?

What would they do if they found their paring tag on tumblr? (If they have one)

Who cried at the end of Marley and me?

Who always wins at Mario kart?

One thing I like about this ship?

One thing I don’t like about the ship?

The song I would say fits them?

A headcanon about the paring? 

(Please feel free to add more if you are asking people to do this with you.)